the signs as things said by people i know on jun 22 2017
aries: i will fucking spoon you
taurus: your eyebrows are pointy the way pimples are pointy. not that your eyebrows are pimples.
gemini: i usually don’t tell people what’s on my mind, because then i get slapped
cancer: i’m sitting in the corner drowning my loneliness in cold stir-fried potato noodles
leo: i made a bad life decision today in deciding to walk ten blocks in flip flops
virgo: so this is assuming anyone likes me enough to actually get married to me. *pause* you can get married to yourself, but i mean, what i said before still applies. *another pause* what do you mean my shadow’s always with me? if i proposed to it it’d probably pull a peter pan and escape!
libra: well, i’m sure that no matter what high school you go to, you will all graduate― *looks at class*― well, most of you will graduate.
scorpio: i had to physically scrape glue off my face today. oh, not my actual face, it was an ugly silhouette of it that made me look fat.
sagittarius: i can’t believe i have to walk all the way home carrying this pot
capricorn: so why are you in the IB program? well, that’s a question i am constantly asking myself
aquarius: can i keep this spoon? i want to wipe your saliva off it and use it to clone you.
pisces: well, which side of the road was i walking on? because the sidewalk’s only on one side, but that side changes depending on what side of the road you are driving on. i think. what? i confused myself
