G. Rose

We don’t get in arguments anymore because it isn’t worth the energy. Nothing will be fixed because our relationship is over. No need to put in work. When an argument might happen I just say sorry and move on.

Like it’s crazy to think if we were still close I would be so upset that I always have to be the one apologizing first even if it wasn’t my fault. It’s always his reaction, but it’s my fault because I brought it up.

He stopped being thoughtful, stopped caring for me. Never was happy to see me. All because we were arguing a lot because of his actions!! Ugh. Im so ready to be happy. Im so ready for him to get out of the house!

I have a new friend and she doesn’t seem to want me to be happy I guess? Maybe she does. But when I tell her things she always finds a way to make me feel worse about something I find enlightening. So maybe that friendship isn’t for me.

Losing literally my home of people sucks.

Yeah, I have my siblings..but they have their own life and it’s different now.

Life hasn’t been great and it seems like 2022 was a bad one for everyone.

My husband has been cheating on me. I have the proof. He’s also been doing drugs again and hanging out with ex-cons that still do the same shit they got incarcerated for. My husband has been to prison twice for drugs. And apparently didn’t learn being on there for 5 years more than half our relationship.

I married him after this last year when he got out because he showed me he changed. It all went downhill when I got severe depression and he couldn’t stand to take care of me.

Everything that has happened this year has shown me that I have no family. My chosen family betrayed me and my blood abandoned me. I’ve been so suicidal it consumes me.

Today has to be the shittiest day of my life. Not only will I be homeless in a month but I will also be completely broke because the VA decided to not pay me this month. They granted me over $3000 a month and decided this month that they’ll take away the entire paycheck to pay back my debts to them. The debt happened 10 years ago when I was discharged. Since then they have been taking out little by little from my paychecks to pay back the separation payments. these payments are my disability payments what I earned and what they did to me to make me have a disability in the first place. I am now granted 100% disability as well as total disability individual unemployment through the VA. Which means I can never get a job ever again in my life. I am so happy that I do not need to work the rest of my life being only 29, but now that I’m not getting paid this month I cannot find it just a job for one month to get money because it’ll fuck up everything that I worked for to get this percentage to get this claim granted. if I were to get a job in this meantime it’ll go straight to them and I will get it taken away and never returned. I’m deciding if I need to put up a go fund me and just say my mom is kicking me out of the house because I was rude to her boyfriend who is rude to me first. I was rude to her friends who are rude to me first. My parents raised me to pretend that everything was fine in our household that we were always OK they were always great that we were doing everything that we were supposed to be doing. They taught us to be fake. The thing is with me I was the only one who could never be fake. I’ve always been very independent. I always demanded respect and kindness from my family and friends. And if that respect wasn’t met or I was disrespected then I would say something about it. I would say something and then get in trouble for sticking up for myself. I would get in trouble for putting boundaries up and saying “hey that is not OK to say to me—to do to me; I’m not gonna let it slide; do not do that to me ever again.” My parents have no idea what boundaries are and they say they do but they use it completely wrong they manipulate you and make you feel like you’re the one that’s in the wrong for having boundaries in the first place.  so on top of my parents not being the best my whole life. My siblings also will not help me, my husband cannot help me. I have no friends that can help me since I do have three animals one cat two dogs two of them are emotional support animals and one is a service dog. I am severely depressed have severe mental health issues continuously want to kill myself every day luckily for you and everyone else I am not brave enough to ever kill myself even though I’ve been having the worst days of my life happening every day for the past nine months. correction since January 2021 my life has been shit.

My dad decided he didn’t want to be a dad anymore or apart of his kids lives since he decided to divorce my mom.

He now rather live his life where he came from in a third world country than America and start fresh after the divorce and forget about his family here.

The old owner came over to drop off some things and said I was ruining her mental health by keeping her inside. I’ve only had her 2 weeks and wanted her to get used to the area before I just let her out. And now it’s been a day and she didn’t come back to eat yesterday.

I feel completely alone even around siblings/friends.

I reported my dads other ig account because fuck him.

He’s spending money on prostitutes and taking them on vacation. And not giving my family anything.