Spencer's Thoughts

I believe in God as Creator, as the One who knows what I cannot know, the One who sees the whole story when I can only see the page I am standing on.

I believe God is all-knowing, but I also believe we are given free will. We are not puppets. We are not forced into goodness. We are invited into it.

I believe God does everything for a reason, even when the reason is hidden from us, even when life feels unfair, even when I am standing in the middle of something I do not understand.

I believe God is loving, just, forgiving, mysterious, and wise, but above all else, I believe God is love.

Not selective love. Not conditional love. Not love saved only for the clean, the certain, the traditional, or the people who fit neatly inside church walls.

I believe God loves everyone equally.

I believe in God, in Jesus, and in the Holy Spirit as sacred and distinct. I believe Jesus is the Son of God, and I believe his life shows us how we are meant to live.

To me, Jesus is not just someone to worship. He is someone to learn from.

He cared for people. He led with compassion. He forgave. He treated people with dignity. He helped the hurting, the rejected, the poor, the sick, the people society found easy to ignore.

I believe that is what faith is supposed to look like.

Not hatred. Not fear. Not using scripture like a weapon. Not deciding who is worthy of God before God has spoken.

Faith should look like service. It should look like justice. It should look like grace. It should look like feeding people, helping people, protecting people, and meeting people with compassion.

I connect with the parts of Christianity and Methodism that call us toward love, community, holiness, mercy, and action. I believe faith is not just something we say. It is something we live.

I do not believe heaven belongs only to people who said the right words, were baptized the right way, or believed the right doctrine at the right time.

I believe God sees the heart.

I believe being a good person matters. I believe learning from your mistakes matters. I believe repairing harm matters. I believe becoming better matters.

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone falls short. But I believe forgiveness is possible when a person truly tries to grow.

To me, sin is not simply breaking a rule. Sin is harm. Harm to others. Harm to yourself. Harm to the world God created.

And repentance is not just saying sorry. It is becoming different. It is facing what you did. It is learning from it. It is choosing better when you know better.

I believe people are naturally good, even though we are complicated, even though we are flawed, even though we hurt each other sometimes.

I believe grace is available to everyone.

I believe after death, we are judged by God and sent to heaven or hell. But I also believe there are mysteries I do not fully understand. I believe some souls may not move on right away. I believe ghosts may be people with unfinished things, people not yet ready or able to step fully into whatever comes next.

I know that may not fit perfectly inside traditional Christianity.

But my faith has never fit perfectly in a box.

I see the Bible as inspired by God, but held, translated, interpreted, lost, found, copied, and carried by people. That makes it sacred, but also complicated.

I connect deeply with Corinthians, with the kind of love that is patient and kind, the kind of love that is not proud or cruel, the kind of love that remains.

I struggle with Revelation. I struggle with fear-based faith. I struggle with any version of Christianity that forgets love at the center.

I pray by talking to God in my head throughout the day. Sometimes I write letters that begin, “Dear God,” because writing feels like opening a door between my thoughts and the divine.

I do not think God usually answers loudly. I think God answers subtly. Through feeling. Through music. Through nature. Through the quiet pull toward what is right. Through love. Through the moments when helping someone else somehow brings me closer to God.

I feel spiritually connected in prayer, in music, in nature, in church, in journaling, in caring for others, and in the deep love I feel for people.

I want to go to church. I want community. I want worship. I want a place to belong.

But I am also bisexual and transgender, and I know too many churches have made people like me feel unsafe.

So part of my faith is reclaiming this truth:

I can be LGBTQ and Christian.

I do not have to choose between the God who made me and the person God made me to be.

I do not believe God calls me to hate myself. I believe God calls me to take care of myself, to take care of others, and to take care of the world around me.

My most sacred values are love and compassion.

That is what I return to when theology gets confusing, when scripture feels complicated, when people argue about doctrine, when religion becomes too loud.

Love and compassion.

I may not have every answer. I may not understand everything about Jesus’ death and resurrection. I may not have perfect language for what I believe.

But I know the shape of my faith.

It is caring for people. It is growing from mistakes. It is choosing mercy. It is seeking justice. It is believing that God is bigger than human cruelty. It is believing that love is holy.

I believe God wants us to become good people. Not perfect people. Not judgmental people. Not people who use faith to stand above others.

Good people.

People who help. People who forgive. People who protect. People who grow. People who love.