Tire-Rant

You never should lose your self in the process of finding someone else

You’ve met a guy that once cared too much, the once who said that he would always be there. Who courted you, lets you get attached, and then suddenly left, but that’s okay. You have your friends that just keep on reminding you that your standards were just too high and that’s still okay.

Remember, if a guy really wants to be a part of your life he would have stayed. He wouldn’t have taken someone else’s shortcut just because he can’t find the way to you. He would have done everything to turn the table. He would have proven that he is worth it. He would have still be there bothering and making efforts for you. He would have been patient enough.

The moment he left ,your friends may start preaching. Telling you that you’re just too idealistic. That this isn’t a fairy-tale. That you’re just too old school and that’s not how this generation moves. That you should be open minded enough to adapt. Then you start realizing your past’s choices. That guy you liked on 7th grade who courted you but you never entertained. That cute guy on college who tried to talk you but you just ignored. That guy who sends you all those sweet messages but you never replied to. Then you start questioning yourself. “Is it me?” But let me answer you, no it’s not. Not because you weren’t walking with the mass’s path, doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong one.

Don’t start questioning your life choices just because someone failed on reaching out to you. Screw modern dating! Screw peer pressure! You don’t have to settle for less just because guys keep on failing you all the time. You don’t get to stitch up your past just for them. You got a high standard? Be it! It’s all about knowing your self-worth. A thing in which just keep on diminishing to people each day. A thing in which all people must have but not all could retain. Now, if you still have it? Save it. Not everyone could be able to keep it Hun, thank yourself that you still can.

Dear Future Self,

         How are you after all these years? By now you are already 25 years old. Have you finished your studies already? How many wishes have you crushed out from your bucket list? Are you still the same talkative yet ambivert lady  you used to be? Do you already have a stable job? Have you become a great teacher who inspires her students? You really liked a famous quotation by the late senator Miriam Defensor Santiago,”a true teacher does not terrorize ignorant students because  a true teacher knows that it is his job to cure ignorance.”

          Have you built a new house for your parents? Have you granted your promise to your parents? That you will give your father a nice vehicle and you will have a family trip to relax them if you’ll have your own salary already? That you will be the one to pay for your sisters education after you finish yours? That you will help them escape the poverty you’ve been experiencing? Have you set foot to Taj Mahal in India or visit Seoul, Korea? You’ve been wanting to go there to testify its real beauty. You were fond of watching KPop artists, KDrama because of their physiques, humor and talents. You were a fan of Bigbang, Got7, Twice, Black Pink, 2ne1, Infinite, BTOB, BTS, Astro and Exo but you were not to the extent of memorizing korean lyrics. You just find their variety shows very entertaining. You loved watching Asian Film like Thai, Chinese, Korean and Bollywood.  

           Are you married or in a relationship already? Let me remind you that you were single and contented with the company of your friends, however, you seek for somebody’s company because you don’t have the same class schedule with your squad anymore. Oftentimes, you eat alone, something you really hate. Do you still keep in touch with your college friends? FGG - Feeling Gwapa/o Gamay Squad? 

          I hope you have accomplished all things mentioned above. I hope you really do. I hope you become someone whom you’ve been aspiring all these years. You were resilient and understanding and I hope you remain the same. May you stay strong amidst any storms that will shaken your foundation. You’ve been sickly so please be careful always. Your parents had been very loving and attentive towards your betterment, I hope you haven’t put all their hard works in vain. They’re probably old by now, take good care of them. At their age they highly need affection and demands for your attention so never be selfish to them. I pray that you’ll find someone whom you’ll rightfully grow old with, stay by your side through thick and thin. Someone who is loving, matured, respectful, and responsible. May you remain God-fearing. You were not the most religious person everybody have known but you have a strong faith in Him. In times of doubt, may you always draw closer to Him and  continue to seek Him in all your endeavor. 

        You were wearing a green IIT PE shirt and khaki brown knee-length shorts while suffering from your broken toenail which you got out of dumbness the moment you wrote this lettter around 11:30 in the evening, Saturday, 15th of October 2016 inside your room in your boarding house with your two other roommates. Jhaie on her phone and Wena facing her laptop, both connecting to the internet, doing what you all usually do. You have 3 roommates but Ate Roch is out to study. She’s been in her bestfriend’s house since the night before. She was already in her last year in her program, BS Accountancy. While you were still in your third year in college taking up Bachelor in Elementary Education in English. Instead of working on your thesis proposal ,which you haven’t completed the previous summer class you took, or start writing term paper for your Filipino 103: Maikling Kwento ,which you’ve been stressing out that semester, you wrote this letter. I have high hopes that you are already successful the moment you are reading this. Fighting!

Sincerely,