𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐞.

dreamt i was chased by a serial killer. one of those delulu psychotic kind

about to be 24 in a few hours n have still yet to be at a club #win

would u all be mad at me if i switched blogs again? i kinda fucked up

i don’t even have carsickness anymore so why do i wanna thfrow up urgh

i always feel like i’m uniquely awful in some tainted way. i’ve always had a complex relationship with “god” ( mostly one sided abuse & fear ) — it was like a third parent that tortured me. at 14 i hallucinated him and was in deep psychosis about him punishing me for months. at 17 i wanted to burn a bible page to prove i could do it but i couldn’t. my hands were shaking so badly and i felt intense fear. i don’t even believe in god, but i think the conditioning, paranoia, & fear has never left me. it’s dulled, but it’s still there. at my worst moments i always think it’s happy to see me breakdown. stupid n silly, i know.

i hate glorified incest ( all incest but especially glorified one ) where it’s treated as a cute fun sexy time nonsense and not literal abuse girls and women go through at large. men too. sickening. everyone involved should kill themselves

fuck it my next aesthetic will be co-opting religious themes 🚬🥀🪳

i’m gonna clean my house now ◟(๑•͈ᴗ•͈)◞