โคท ใ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ หหห ๐
disclaimer ( (18+). this series will contain slow burn romance, emotional avoidance, mild-to-moderate angst, and explicit sexual content. please mind the tags and take care of yourself while reading. ) โหโก
โcarpenter!matt helps bright!reader with her new apartment renovations โ
Matt comes back on a Thursday.
You know this because the landlord had decided to text you that morning,leaving it short and clipped; like every message heโs ever sent you before thisโsaying that matt will be by later to double-check the window seal. No time window mentioned.
You spend the morning leaning as if it matters. as if heโs coming over as anything other than someone doing his job. You wipe down the counters, refold the throw blanket you just purchased on the couch even though it was perfectly fine the first time, and you change into something softer. Something comfortable but not lazy. again, like it matters
You want to stop overthinking it. But you donโt.
The knock comes when youโre sitting on the floor sorting mail youโve been pretending doesnโt exist since you got here. You freeze for half a second, then stand too quickly, your heart already doing that thing it does when itโs anticipating something it hasnโt even earned yet.
You open the door. โHeyโ Matt says, already pulling his beanie off , like this is familiar now. He seems less distant today.
โhiโ you say, and it doesnโt catch in your throat this time. โcome on in.โ
He steps inside and slips his boots off without asking. You notice. But you donโt comment. He just quite literally started a new rule. Your first rule in this apartment. no shoes even if you are performing handiwork.
โtheyโre muddy. i was on a site before thisโ
you give a small half smile โhow considerate of youโ
Thereโs a small silence now, neither of you making a move. You both just stand as if the silence will magically fill itself. You realize youโre still holding the door open
Then, He clears his throat โthe landlord wanted me to check the seal againโ he says, sitting his toolbox down near the kitchen. โto make sure itโs holdingโ
โof course,โ you mutter, shutting the door finally.
Matt smiles faintly, you thought your eyes were deceiving you.
You follow him into the kitchen, leaning against the counter while he gets to work. you donโt hover as close as last time. Youโre trying to change, to contain yourself. Trying to be normal about it. Whatever that means.
Itโs quieter again between you now. But not awkward. Settled.
You watch him for a minute before speaking. You always do thisโ wait until the though feels too big to sit with alone. But you really want to know, youโve been thinking about it ever since.. dreaming about it even.
โcan I ask you somethin?โ you speak
you hesitate. โdid he say anything aboutโฆ what i mentioned last time?โ
Matt stills for a second. His fingers lashing against the window frame. โabout the renovations?โ he asks
your shoulders relax a fraction โyea.โ
โI told him,โ matt says โlike I said I wouldโ
โohโ you breathe, before you can stop yourself
โHe didnโt shut it downโ matt adds quickly. โdidnโt really react at allโ
You nod, trying to make your voice sound casual. โthatโs fine. i didnโt expect anything. i know itโs not..urgentโ
Matt letโs out a hum, looking at you โstill.โ
You shift your weight, arms folding loosely. โI just figured if it happened, it happened. if not, thatโd be okay tooโ Your voice gets higher. as it trying to mask that slight disappointment. As you speak, your brain tries to rack up all the optimism you got.. but you were so excited. Itโs hard to find the silver lining in that.
He glances at you then. The glance isnโt long but itโs enough. You donโt realize how obvious the disappointment you were trying to hide is until you see something in his usual empty expression change. Not pity, or sympathy. But recognition.
โHe said heโd think about it,โ matt says. โthatโs all.โ
His tone is so reassuring.
You flash your small and practiced smile. Nothing like your real one at all. โThatโs basically a noโ
You shrug. โitโs okay.โ you try to convince. Him but also yourself.
But itโs not, really. Itโs just easier to say it is.
Matt goes back to work, tightening something. checking the seal again even though itโs already fine. You sit on the arm of the couch now, swinging your foot slightly, deep into thought.
You fill th silence because thatโs what you do when you feel something something slip just out of reach.
โi didnโt want to push.โ you say โitโs his building. i get thatโ
โyouโre allowed to want your space to feel like yoursโ matt says quietly. You blink. โyou say that like itโs obviousโ
He doesnโt answer. When he finishes, he packs up slower than last time. Like heโs thinking. Something is turning over in his head that he hasnโt decided how to say yet.
โif anything changes,โ he says finally, โiโll let you know.โ
You feel like he truly meant that โokay,โ you say, softer than you mean to.
He pauses at the door, hand on the knob. โFor why itโs worth,โ he adds, not quite meeting your eyes. โitโs a good place, youโve got good instincts.. wanting to change it up a littleโ
You laugh under your breath, โdebatable.โ He smiles, Itโs real this time. Brief, but real.
Then heโs gone. And the apartment feels quieter after. Not empty.. just unresolved.
You sit on the couch for a long time, staring at the cabinet the fixed, the window that doesnโt leak anymore and the place still feels like itโs waiting to become something.
You donโt know that Matt noticed the way your shoulders fell when you said itโs okay. You donโt know that he already made up his mind.
You donโt know that Matt doesnโt care if the landlord approves of renovating the apartment or not. That heโs going to help you make this place what you envision it to be.
The next morning is gray in that way that makes everything feel still so unfinished. You meet Lila at a coffee shop a few blocks from your apartment โ, the kind with mismatched chairs and plants that look like theyโre barely hanging on. But thatโs why you like it so much. When you arrive itโs not that much people around. Itโs loud enough that you donโt feel weird talking, quiet enough that you donโt have to raise your voice.
Sheโs already there, scrolling on her phone, iced coffee sweating onto the table. โYou look weird.โ she says immediately looking up at you
โgoodmorning to you too.โ
โNoโ she says, squinting. โnot bad weird just.. distracted weirdโ
You sit down across from her, and wrapping your hands around your cup like itโs grounding you. โi had Matt over againโ
โcarpenter-matt.โ You say. Her eyebrows lift. โagain?โ
โit was a follow up thingโ
You stir your coffee even though you donโt need to.
โAnd nothing,โ you say too fast โHe fixed the windowโ
She waits like she could smell that it was not all. You sigh โthe renovations i asked him about the other day? yeah. he talked to the landlord. didnโt say yes or noโ You take a sip of your coffee.
Lila tilts her head โand thatโs bothering you.โ she states. Itโs really that obvious.
โi donโt know why,โ you say. โitโs not even about the renovations. i donโt care that much I just-โ
โyou doโ she says gently, cutting you off
You roll your eyes. โokay. I care a normal amountโ
She snorts. โhave you met yourself?? you care an emotional amount. thatโs different.โ
You take a sip of your coffee, burning your tongue slightly. You welcome the distraction.
โHeโs justโฆquietโ you say after a moment. โbut not in an awkward way exactly, in a way that makes me feel like im talking more than I should.โ
โyou do talk more than you should.โ She says and earns a glare. โBut that sounds like a you problem.โ
โit is.โ you admit. โI ramble. he listensโฆor at least pretends toโ
โokay..thereโs more. and ?โ
โand he noticed.โ you say, softer. โwhen i was disappointed.โ Lilaโs expression shifts. โhow do you know?โ
โBecause i know when people stop looking at the think theyโre doing and start looking at youโ you say. โit was subtle. But it was so there.โ
She hum, โthatโs dangerous.โ
โi knowโ you say quickly. โim not doing anything about it.โ
โYou never doโ she says, not unkindly. But you sit with that for a second. โHe said heโd let me know if anything changesโ you add โabout the renovations.โ
โand youโre gonna wait?โ Lila smiled says. you nod. โI hate waiting.โ
โawwe but youโre so good at it.โ
@sadgirlslush @stvrnx @privatelyowned-t @mrssturnioloo @viviansturns @savmattsfavmattgirl @courta13 @sturn-slut @bee-stvrniolo @urfaveprettypsycho @freshlivthemunch333
love love love this lil thing i concocted keep motivating me pls
