Dear Life,

you know when you’ve got so much on and you’re so unbelievably stressed that you think you might be going crazy, you feel like you can’t get anything done so you procrastinate and then everything just builds up, things keep being thrown at you left right and centre, with a big fat heaping of emotional turmoil on the side? Well if so, my friend I am in the very same boat - so much so that I'm at the point where I feel like I can’t even think straight. But the odd thing is I don’t know why - this time there isn’t anything that I'm under the pump for - yeah I’ve got a lot of stuff going on but I’m up to date on it all..relatively. I guess I need to figure out a way to push through it or get out of it. The thing is I know that I need to get it out, at least momentarily and generally by now people would be saying YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE. But I’ve got this thing where I feel bad for venting to people about things...like they’ve got their own shit going on, they don’t need my problems added to the mix you know? So I just either sit on it or write it out, I don’t know if writing actually gets stuff out of my system or it just buries it down to stew for a while, but either way, writing until I have nothing left to say helps the majority of the time. This is part of my inner turmoil and it makes me want to scream because from time to time, not very often mind you - but occasionally writing doesn’t help. I feel like I need to be heard but A. I don’t want to burden others and B. the only time I can fully speak my mind is when I write it out. And sometimes Sometimes I don’t have anything to say....and then I get frustrated because I simply don’t know. The only way to describe it is that I feel stuck in a box with a keyhole and no key, it sounds weird but, like I have the key but I’m locked inside the box, I’m the only one that can open it but I can’t open it. 

-Sparkia