or how much strength it takes for you hold yourself together

when you still remember falling apart last night

i hope you overcome the battles that no one sees

how you wear a smile

like there's something there

but it's not

it's plain white

but I tend to look up and stare like it would feed me the answers to my questions

questions that eat me alive

is it worth it?

am I doing it right?

what's my purpose?

that time will heal everything

but will it?

when my body still remembers

the war, the scars, the battles

the thoughts that are carved in my mind

they all say it gets better with time

but what if i dont ?

what if i stuck in this loop

trying to decipher a way out

as a child,

where my achievements were celebrated before my mistakes were counted

where I was the perfect child before I was a dissapointment

where love was unconditional to my grades