Spam-let

Hamlet: Osric, if the next two words out of your mouth aren’t ‘see ya’, then the third word will be ‘oh my god, my crotch, you’ve punched me in my crotch’.

Osric: I heard that!

Hamlet: Sure!

Horatio: Do you have protection?

Gertrude: *turns around in a chair* Where have you been?

Hamlet: Uhh… I was out with Horatio?

Like the genius of this. Yet only 9 views. smh

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok    s o      

i’m still trying to upload my actual full production of hamlet

but

here is a video i made of only the gay parts because they are Important!!

i hope you like it. 

also disclaimers: 

IT IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!

After months, I finally have for you the full recording of my Hamlet!! I had to split it into each act in order to upload it with bad internet connection, but hopefully that means each part is easier to watch on its own (you know, because the full show was at least 2.5 hours long).

Some notes:

-we are all high school students!! so please no inappropriate comments!!! at the time of this recording, most of the cast is between 14-17 years old

-this was filmed on opening night (our first performance in front of a live audience). there are a few line flubs and tech mistakes, as we were still getting in the hang of things! by no means is this recording a perfect performance!

-credits are at the end of Act 5 along with a cover of Mr. Brightside lol

Hamlet: I hardly slept last night.

Rosencrantz: You know, they say when you can’t sleep, it means someone is thinking about you.

Hamlet: Who would be thinking about me at 3 AM?

Horatio Dies AU

What if during the final scene in hamlet, horatio tries to stop the fight because he just KNOWS somethings up. And when laeretes lunges at Hamlet, Horatio leaps out, pushing hamlet to the side and gets cut by the poisoned sword instead. tHEN Hamlet, realizing what happened, kills Laeretes who then blames Claudius who eventually also dies. But while all this is happening, by the wall, Horatio is slowly sinking to the ground loosing the strength to stand. He doesn’t know what is happening but all he wants is for Hamlet to be safe. When the fight is over, Hamlet runs to Horatio’s side and cradles him. Horatio remarks deliriously about how Hamlet should get his bloody lip checked out. Hamlet starts to cry and begs Horatio to stay alive and says he will kill himself to stay by his side. But Horatio tells hamlet that he must remain alive for the sake of the kingdom, for him. Hamlet agrees that he will stay alive to fulfill horatio’s last wish. Eventually, Horatio begins to fade.

And as Fortinbras marches in, expecting a triumphant dramatic battle, he is instead shocked by the sight of Hamlet Prince of Denmark, sitting on the ground amid carnage, tightly holding in his arms, this unknown man.

Wouldn’t that be the last straw, though? Like… Hamlet’s Last Good Thing is taken away so suddenly - hasn’t every loss in his life been sudden - and that just. It.

He looses his grip on the last semblances of normalcy he’s been holding onto and he’s just. Gone. Swallowed up by the grief he’s been drowning in for so long. Inconsolable.

There are no more ghosts. He wished there were.

Hamlet is a good king. Benevolent. Caring. For Horatio’s sake. He mostly lets other people legislate for him though. He spends the bulk of his free time alone. Reading. Writing. Skulking around Elsinore, that ostentatious, beautiful prison. But through it all, he still wants nothing more than to die. For his entire life, he’d feared death, and whatever came after it. Now, he did not care what lies in that undiscovered country. Because it’s where Horatio is. And Ophelia. And Laertes. And his mother and father.

He ends up almost looking for excuses to die. Eventually, he decides that he needs an heir. If his throne is secure, he can die in peace, having fulfilled his promise.

But he does ending up going a bit…Henry VIII with it. He marries multiple times. Sires several children. He is impatient for a proper heir. Impatient to die.

He doesn’t completely waste his time on earth though. He teaches his daughters. To read, to write, to do mathematics. He tries to make them understand what happened and why. Tries to make them into good rulers. Hamlet the Dane is not a natural born father, but he tries. For Horatio’s sake. And Ophelia’s.

Eventually, he does have a son. He names him Horatio, of course. As he holds the small screaming infant in his arms, he almost wishes he had done it the kindness of never creating it. The world is a dark, unfeeling place that will take away the people you love. And this child will have to care about more people than most.

In the end, he lives longer than he thought he would. Several decades. Hamlet never fully finds his way out of his perpetual fog of grief, but time and his family are at least able to help guide him through it.

I don’t know how he dies. I don’t want to say. Maybe it’s in battle. Maybe he’s poisoned. Maybe it’s just a simple health issue. Whatever it is, he welcomes it.

Horatio: I’m a sweet and kind handsome scholar boy.

Benvolio, looking in the first aid kit: Why would you fill it with Cheetos??