Spadewalker

A plucky group of theater kids successfully raise money to renovate their high school's old theater. The administration promptly takes the money and gives it to the football program. Enraged, the theater kids decide to sabotage the football team.

As a mage, you enchant a lot of random objects in your tower to have a minor will and locomotion, just to make life more convenient. Today, you wake up to find pens and pans alike covered in blood, and the corpse of a masked man lying bloody and battered on your floor.

The God of Tunnels and Caves. A minor deity at the best of times, barely remembered by historians, a footnote of the pantheon... until the first underground colony on Mars surpassed its first 100k inhabitants and someone jokingly dedicated it to the God.

"Goddamnit, how the hell can you guys lug around armor and weapons this heavy like nothing ?" "...This is a powered armor, and its platings alone weigh 2 tons. How the hell can you even move without turning this shit on ?"

"Do not fear the Fair Folk", the wizard said. "They did mistreat humans in the past, but now they are more afraid of you than you are of them". "And why is that?", I asked. "You remember every slight they inflicted on your kind, and they know that. And you have bulldozers, while they don't".

With large bloodshot eyes, the Fey finishes reading the contract. Its glamour has faded over the past few days, leaving only a resigned glare. "That's… 587 pages," he says in a dead voice. One of the team of lawyers frowns, then smiles. "Oh, you forgot the appendix H!"

Your spells are custom-made for you, by you. Usually it doesn’t change much, but tonight you were robbed and as the thief tried to cast one of your spells, he burned to a husk before he finished the first line. Your party takes a step away from the book.

"The total native population of this planet numbers at about 8 billion. The total killcount of your invasion force here is currently... (checks notes) over 4 quadrillion and still rising. Please explain this, Admiral."

You are a priest of the god of chance and thieves. You capture two enemy priests sneaking around your hidden temple: one of the war god, one of sea god. You hold up a coin. "Heads, I kill the war priest. Tails, I kill the sea priest." The coin has been spinning in midair for five minutes.

A knight clashes with a ferocious beast dozens of times over the years, only to finally be bested. “It is done, foul beast! Eat me and begone!” The beast tilts its head quizzically. Why would it eat its best friend?

You’re a prisoner, but the way the guards constantly watch outside the gates makes you feel like they’re trying to keep something out, rather than keep you in.

An ancient vampire spends centuries fighting against a family of vampire hunters. In the 21st century he notices that he's been fighting the same hunter for nearly 50 years with no sign of any kids. Out of curiosity he asks and the hunter responds "Kid chose College. It's only me now."

You are a drop-pod mechanic. To pass the time, you write a short, encouraging message on the inside of every pod you repair. Today, a heavily scarred veteran comes looking for the person whose message kept him sane.

A boy washed up on the shore of a sleepy village. You took him in, fed him, and gave him a home. When soldiers came through town looking for the lost prince, he started shaking, tearily requesting that you harbor him.