ceo of Failure™

can i just…… go back in time and hug Vincent Van Gogh? have some tea with him, talk about flowers and tell him how much i love his art??? just thinking about that guy makes me sad and i wanna hug him

Does anyone know what to do

not to sound like an old bitch but little kids shouldn’t have unlimited access to phones or tablets or the internet in general. they really gotta go play outside and with toys sometimes. you can’t let wifi raise your kid

girl help my womb is wandering around upsetting my balance of humours 

that’s hysterical

everything in life is bad. takes a shower. washes off the gunk. oh. oh it was the gunk again.

The whole “if i played some modern day weird music to a medieval peasant he would die” thing is wrong. The peasant class back then went through so much shit. If old Maynard of Elton heard 100 gecs he would be like “O! what a grieveſome ſong! yet it drowneth out the moaning of the dying cowſ.” and go on his way. now the medieval nobles? most physically fragile people to ever live. half a second of Maroon 5 would have a duke’s son melted in a puddle of viscera on the cobblestone floor.

at least the colour green exists