to live would be an awfully big adventure

aries: "Stand up Gabe, I'm setting your desk on fire."

taurus: "I don't care who's condom it is, put it away."

gemini: "Whoever wrote mitochondria as the most important thing you learned in science raise your hand I know there's more then one."

cancer: "No don't ask Jesus for help on your quiz if you didn't study, not even Jesus can help you now."

leo: "Would anyone like to donate clothing to put on our class skeleton, it makes me uncomfortable he gets to be naked in this class but I can't."

virgo: "No I'm not grading your tests I'm trying to sell my world of Warcraft account. That's what happens when you have kids."

libra: "Don't marry anyone named Mia. Most likely she's only marrying you for a visa trust me."

scorpio: "Oh really does it say your a loser on your birth certificate too?"

sagittarius: "I may have accidentally sent a very personal email to one of your parents that was suppose to go to my mom."

capricorn: "Which one of you hell beasts stole my almond chocolate off my desk?"

aquarius: "No Gabe, Bill Nye the science guy isn't a documentary."

friend: dude that's dark are you okay?

me: cool I guess

tarot reader: why is every card death, what the fuck, I don't even have that many death cards