misdirected productivity

The elevator stops just a floor after you’ve gotten on. You’re on the 16th floor so it’s normal that someone else gets on before you reach the ground floor. You don’t pay attention as you’re looking at a text message on your phone. “Erm… Excuse me…” The voice pauses. “Y/N?” You look up, confused that someone has just said your name. You’re only in Italy for 24 hours for a delayed stopover. It takes you a moment to process who is standing beside you. “Michael?!” The man just a few feet from you is someone you haven’t seen in a little over half a year. The last time you saw him was on a small island off the coast of Spain. “It can’t be you! Oh my god.” There was no mistaking the familiar accent. You both share a look then burst out laughing, partly because of the absurdity of the chances of bumping into each other in an elevator and partly because of the memories of the summer that you both spent in each other’s company with your friends resurfacing. “Does Daniel know you’re here?!”

Daniel. A name you hadn’t heard or spoken in a while. You had been devastated the moment your plane had taken off and left the island that time a few months ago — along with Daniel and the sweet memories that remained between the two of you. You smile at the name. “No, I’m here for a layover that got delayed. Are you guys here for vacation?” Michael laughs. “No… We’re actually here for a race. We decided to fly in a bit earlier than everyone.” It all made sense to you now. It was a Monday but you had wondered for a second if it was just normal that most people walked around wearing Ferrari merch. You did know Italy was big on Ferrari. “No way! I haven’t been catching up with the season actually. This is crazy… Enchanté, I guess?” You both laugh at the phrase. “Daniel’s gonna be pleased to see you.” You and Daniel hadn’t really tried making the whole friend?ship thing work after your short rendezvous on the island. Sure, you had texted a bit when the trip was still fresh but as time progressed, communication just stopped naturally and you had been fine with that. Of course, there was always the question of what ifs and what could’ve beens but you never really bothered diving too deep into it. What you had experienced with him on your little island was enough for you.

“Is he doing well? I haven’t spoken to him since the trip actually… Neither have I spoken to you! Are you well?” The elevator was fast approaching the ground floor now; there was only so little time an elevator ride could buy you. Michael nods. “Yeah, we’ve both been okay! Kind of busy with the whole season going on but we’re alright. You?” The elevator dings open. You both step out of the lift, still chatting. “I’m doing great too! Forever traveling here and there.” You both laugh and you can tell this is where the conversation naturally ends. “Well, I’ve gotta head out and deal with things but I’ll be sure to tell Daniel I bumped into a pleasant surprise.” He pauses to wink. “It was so great seeing you. How long are you here for?” You nod understandingly. “It was great seeing you too! I’m here for,” You pause to check your watch. “A little less than a day then I’m off to somewhere in Norway.” Michael frowns at the timeline. “How unfortunate you won’t reach the race. Anyway, I’m off! Don’t be a stranger.” You wave goodbye and head off to your favorite café in the city.

The smell of coffee beans and the sound of coffee shop soundtrack in the background feels like home to you. You’re sitting in a table by the window, watching people walk by and live their own lives. It’s the table that you personally feel is yours every time you come to Italy. Far away from the entrance and if you angled yourself well enough, it felt as if you weren’t even in the place. Life is great. You think about your chance encounter in the elevator with Michael and how you could’ve easily gone your whole time here without knowing they were even town. How silly the universe works. You think about whether you’re actually going to see Daniel or not. Sure, Michael had said he was going to mention you but who even knew if Daniel even wanted to see you? What would you both even say to each other? The possibility that maybe you both had gotten along so well with each other solely because you were both in the same place at the same time then suddenly feels so real to you. What if you both actually had nothing to talk about? Your phone buzzing snaps you out of your thoughts.

3:57PM

I thought I told you not to come stalk me whenever I had races in your area?

Laughter comes naturally, something you always did whenever Daniel was around. It was one of the last few things he had told you when you had said goodbye to each other all those months ago. You type out an easy reply.

3:58PM

You finally noticed! I was getting ready to give up back at the last race. Took you long enough.

3:58PM

Thought I kept seeing someone in the corner of my eye at the track. Sneaky. Where are your whereabouts?

3:58PM

Who’s the stalker now?

3:59PM

Fair play. If I say please, will you tell me where you are? A little bird told me time is ticking quite fast today.

This is one of the things you had missed the most about him. The light back and forth that flowed so easily between the two of you. Your stomach drops at the thought of spending time in Italy with Daniel. You imagine him seated beside you, telling you about something incredible that’s happened to him. You think about his huge smile and how great it always felt to be the reason it came out, almost always paired with his infectious laughter. Daniel is right though, time is very limited for you both today. You text him the name of the café, a small nook in a small alley that luckily isn’t inhabited with tons of people that usually come into more well-known coffee shops. This is what you liked a lot about the place — if you didn’t know it existed, you didn’t know it existed.

“You stalk other people too? Thought I was special.” You freeze in your seat and your breath catches in your throat. The familiar accent reels you into memories of the smell of the sea, the feeling of sand in your feet, and of summer flings. You hadn’t noticed him come in because you were busy looking out the window, people watching while you tried to gather your thoughts on how the afternoon had turned into something that you had completely not expected. You were supposed to be on the way to Norway. You turn around and you are greeted by arguably your favorite smile in this whole world. “Daniel!” You get up from your seat, stepping into his open arms as if it is second nature. It feels like something you do all the time. His arms wrap around you, his arms tightening as you relax yourself into the hug. He is just as you remember him — you both fit into each other almost perfectly. Just like before.

“So I really can’t get you to skip your flight tomorrow?” Daniel asks as he takes a sip from his coffee across you. You both had fallen into conversation so easily, updating each other on how your lives have been. Daniel was ever busy with the craziness that came with racing all over the world, but you could see how his eyes gleamed with passion as he spoke about what he loved doing most. You could feel the excited energy radiating off of him. It’s such an amazing thing to be able to meet this version of Daniel; it makes you appreciate him even more. “Wish you asked me that back in Spain.” You reply, winking at him. “But no, I really wish I could but I have to catch the flight or else my friend is going to actually kill me.” “One, I did say you could rebook your flight back in Spain,” Daniel points out, lifting a finger. “And two, but this is to come watch a race! That I’m racing at, if you didn’t know!” He chimes, wildly gesturing with his hands. You laugh at his enthusiasm. “Yes, Daniel, I’d be incredibly disappointed if you were inviting me to come watch a race you had absolutely no part in.”

“Hey, that wouldn’t be too bad. Any time is a good time.”

You look at him funnily. “You say the oddest things that make sense.”

“It’s another one of my many talents.” He says, winking at you.

Time seems to contradict itself; it feels both slow and sped up as you exchange tons of stories with Daniel that will give you much to think about after you’ve left Italy but the sun is quickly setting and it is nearly dark outside already. “How’d you get here?” Daniel asks. “Believe it or not, I walked here.” Daniel laughs, probably thinking about how you were always so lazy to go on hikes back then during your last vacation. “Well, I did too. We should be heading back, no?” He checks his wrist watch, looking at the time that has passed. “Trying to get rid of me so quickly?” You tease. “Never. I just may be a bit behind schedule for this thing I have with the team.” You nod, standing up and checking your table for anything you might leave behind. Daniel does too and it still feels surreal to you that he is standing right beside you. Everything about him feels unreal: from the way he carries himself to the way he is looking at you, despite the coffee shop filling up just a slight bit more than when you arrived. It is like you are the only person there.

The walk back to the hotel is full of light conversation and the banter you so dearly missed having with him. There were a couple of times your hand briefly came into contact with his and you had been thinking about how silly you are to wish he could hold your hand as you walked down the streets of beautiful Italy. You think about if he wants to hold your hand too but won’t because you’re in public and there have been a couple of people who have recognized the famous driver or if he isn’t even thinking about it at all. “It must be tiring having all of these people look at you all the time.” You say. “Don’t humble yourself, they are probably looking at the beautiful woman walking beside me.” He replies without hesitation, a smile on his face. “Glad you finally admit I’m the good looking one of us two.” “Debatable, but fine, you win.”

“I wish I could take you to my favorite pizza place here.” Daniel says as you both stand outside your hotel room door. It strangely feels like deja vu. “I wish I could see if it’s really as good as you claim it to be.” “You really can’t stay another day? Or until Sunday?” He asks, the brown of his eyes seemingly looking a bit lighter despite the tinted lighting of the hotel hallway. You shake your head. “I really can’t. It’s a shame I bump into you on borrowed time. Feels like timing just doesn’t want it to happen. Can’t you move the race to Norway?” You joke. Daniel pauses to think, pretending to think of how to move a race. “My power can only go so far, I don’t think I can. Your flight’s leaving early morning tomorrow?” You nod in reply. “You’ve got to start picking later flight times!” He says, laughing. “But it’s been so great seeing you, you know that right? Feels like a breath of fresh air.” Daniel opens his arms, just like he had when you first saw him in the coffee shop, and you step into them, wrapping your arms around him. You hug him tight, taking a deep breath because you can already feel your heart dropping at the sadness that will come once it sets in that you don’t know when you’ll next see him again.

“I’m gonna miss you.” You mutter into his shirt. “I’m gonna miss you more.” He whispers, his voice so close to your ear. As you pull away, he plants a short kiss on your cheek. “Take care of yourself. Don’t be a stranger!” “I should be telling you that!” You say, desperately hoping he does not notice the way you are blushing. If he does, he doesn’t say anything. “Don’t forget to take breaks, Dan. I’m always a text away if you need a laugh.” You add, smiling at him. You turn briefly to tap your hotel card into the lock of your room. When you turn back, you catch a fleeting sad expression on Daniel’s face. Without thinking much about it, you quickly plant a kiss on his cheek. What should’ve been cute ends up a mess as you had to tiptoe to reach his face and as you pull away, your forehead bumps into his jaw. “Ouch!” You say, holding your forehead as you both laugh. “So much for a romantic goodbye!” “Well, I was always the romantic one between the two of us.” Daniel points out. “True.” “Goodbye, Y/N.” He says one last time, stepping back. “Goodbye, Daniel.” You step into your room and take one last look at him, trying to remember how he looks in this moment. Your favorite smile in this whole world. Right before you close the door, his voice stops you.

“We’ll find our way back, right?” You tilt your head at his question, the seriousness in his expression something you don’t see often. “I mean, we found our way back to each other in Italy, of all places. You’ll come back to me, right?” You smile at him and say, “As long as you come back to me.” He nods, thinking about it. “I will. We will. We can make it work, can’t we?” You get the feeling that he might be referring to something else but you simply nod, refusing to give into the hope of something that seems nearly impossible. “Of course, I’ve still got a lot of stalking to do.” Daniel breaks out into laughter, it is a hearty one. You’re happy that it is one of the last things you get to do before you say goodbye. “Alright, until our paths cross again!” He says, finally beginning to move closer to the elevator. “Goodbye, Daniel!” You say, waving at him one last time. He lifts two fingers to his forehead, saluting.