South

no but in all honesty when i played amphoreus - i was really expecting more of phaidei and not phairene, what with all the hype i’ve seen and even a phaidei vs haikaveh implied-ship-off that came into my search results that subsequently resulted in my re-downloading hsr once and for all to see if its worth all the stock people put into it, but that must just be because of my monogamous-pilled haikaveh-spoiled brain that dictates there must only be one person for everything in a character’s life to prove they’re even somewhat canon, and the fact i’ve been so used to mutual time-bending and universe-splitting and world-saving doomed relationships that there are also other doomed dynamics where the love is there and yet it does nothing, where one has to save the universe, the other serving as collateral for that heroism and yet the love was still there, it existed, and it only makes it worse when you think about it. in this way phaidei reminds me more of hyunhee and seolhyuk’s doomedness than it is doksoo’s/joongdok’s/yoohankim’s in which phairene embodies better dynamically and lore-wise. it’s the almost mundanity of it in relativity to the fantasy and gore around them, that love and what it meant to the both of them, and it stays that way because it is love that must be suspended for the flamechase journey, for the true era nova that phainon had to work 33 million ceaseless cycles for.

yoohankim’s central narrative dynamic isn’t strict on what kind of love it is motivated from (eros, phillia, platonic, romantic) that they continue to do so much for dokja, but the fact that that love transcends time and worldlines, *why* that love prompts them to then transcend time and worldlines, and how they are just doomed from it all anyway is what makes yoohankim so - yoohankim. While phairene are maybe given that capacity to do, they don’t because, in opposition to yoohankim’s, their love isn’t born out of a profound sense of loneliness from the world. that the companionship they find in each other isn’t because of loneliness but something so much kinder like being childhood friends/sweethearts/whatever in-between or hyphenated adjective you think phairene were. then they plot to save the world through cycles and i think that to a degree they find mutual unloneliness in each other because they are co-conspirators in this 33 million cycles long act theyre performing, even if cyrene has to die in the beginning each time for that.

it also puts to thought just how unconstrained it is, when attempting to sort which amph dynamic falls into which orv dynamic that it is a cluster of interconnectedness yet still connected somehow. going back to how loneliness is the driving force of yoohankim’s love for each other, both during and post-dokja, phaidei is a one-sided coin of dependancy(?) - mydei having other people he can confide in and isn’t restricted in who he does to for as long as they are close enough to him, phainon who is very closed off from the world despite seeming like the most sprightly, charming guy around, with almost only mydei to do so and who he’s most comfortable with. it’s all so beautifully antithetical.

hyunhee (hyunsung x heewon) is a ship that i think failed primarily because their love hinged on someone/something that was doomed(kdj) (phaidei’s lives - aka “sacrifices are a constant on the flamechase journey”), and that if it weren’t for the fact that it was a regular love companionship born in an apocalypse (simulation, flamechase) it might’ve withstood its own foundations. seolhyuk is also so, so phaidei i used to actually mourn them so badly

like. i keep remembering how eunyung is, in my eyes when i read the manhwa, a very non-toxic masculinity type of guy in the sense that he’s assured of his guy identity that when he chooses to wear pink or act the role of a girl or do his hair in a bright pretty pastel accessorized updo eunyung is largely unaffected, or that he doesn’t put much stock into strictly conforming with gender roles while still pulling off being a largely guyish, adidas-slippers-wearing delinquent as he ties it all together (pun) with his constant cherry acrylic hair tie and shoulder-length hair akin to a girl’s. what i’m saying is that he’s so girl but because calling things like pink and long hair as a must-be universal girl norm is old and stripped of nuance, it’s more like, to me, eunyung is a guy who just somehow lived in a world that thought the way he showed himself in the little things, the things he treated as natural to him, were against what he should be. maybe there was a point in which he became a little more adamant on it. maybe he just never cared, rebelling or not rebelling, and simply kept his hair long and wore a pink jacket. i also think that he can recognize it in himself even when unarticulated the separation between “eunyung baek disappeared; the character replaced him” and the eunyung that was a delinquent and playboy and gender non-conforming.

there’s also that, the “eunyung baek disappeared; the character replaced him” thing. if i still knew how to draw i so soso would run to my devices and go at it but. sadly. my drawing pad is sitting in the dust, both locationally forgotten, and it’s existence only to be remembered once in a blue moon of visual artistic urges resurfacing then uselessly wilting yet again. how the significance of cinderella is because not only was it when he first gave up acting because of his parents and shows the most outright sign of his inherent gender non-conformity, but it’s also when he was, i guess if i still remember this correctly, and in a way, when he is at his most self-fulfilled(as in fulfilling who he is, an actor, a character - not necessarily what he does on his own or achieves). it puts to light just how much eunyung was born to be on the stage, in front of a cheering audience, before onlookers awaiting his performance. and how much his family had denied him of that, had *strictly* made him conform to what they wanted him to do and among all the other things they wanted to drill into his head, this one that they purposefully planted there stuck the most. i really wanna draw eunyung as the korean folk tale horse guy and the *also joseon period* regular guy he did for his third or second year in theatre. pit them all each other and take a nice big picture. im so. urghshdhdhdhdhhshsisnJSNDIDNDJ

plus cindeunnie looks so cute. not only that but cindy as a metaphor/comparison/parallel to eunnie is so amzing of u wanan but that’s a discussion for another day