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Just a little oneshot that popped into my head and I had to write it down! I hope you enjoy š
You can read more Tama stories here: Tama Tonga Master List
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The ice pack on Tama's shoulder had long since lost its chill, but the dull, throbbing ache radiating down his back was a stark reminder of tonight's match. The deafening roar of the arena crowd was finally out of his head, replaced by the sterile, rhythmic hum of the hotel suite's air conditioning.
Through the crack in the door of the adjoining bedroom, the soft, even breathing of his girlfriend provided a quiet soundtrack to his insomnia. He ran a heavy hand over his face, exhausted to his bones but entirely too wired to sleep.
Then, the screen of his phone illuminated, buzzing with a harsh, urgent vibration against the wood.
He reached for it quickly to silence the noise, fully intending to send whoever was calling at two in the morning straight to voicemail. But the name glowing brightly on the screen made his blood run cold.
Eden.
"Shit," he breathed out, the words slipping into the quiet room as barely a whisper. He hadn't seen that name flash across his screen in over a year.
He threw a quick, cautious glance toward the bedroom door. She was still asleep. Heart pounding against his ribs, Tama grabbed the phone and slid the glass balcony door open, stepping out into the cool night air and pulling the door shut behind him before hitting accept.
"Eden?" he answered, his voice low, tight, and guarded.
"Hey," her voice came through the speaker. It was soft, hesitant, and laced with a familiar tremor that instantly began chipping away at his heart. "I know it's late."
Tama leaned heavily against the cold metal of the balcony railing, the scattered city lights blurring in front of him. "Why are you calling so late? Something wrong?"
"I saw the show," she said quietly. "Are you okay? You took a really bad hit at the end."
He let the silence between them stretch, the sound of her voice echoing in his ears long after the words had faded. It was as if Eden had crawled through the phone line and nestled herself in the hollow of his chest, breathing new life into old wounds. He closed his eyes, fighting the urge to let her back in for even this single, stolen moment. "I'm fine," he replied, willing his voice not to shake, not to betray the electric current of panic and longing that threatened to undo him. But he couldnāt let himself get swept away, not again. "But I... I canāt talk long." He pivoted, his eyes scanning the dim outline of the hotel suite behind the glass. The TV in the bedroom still flickered with silent blue light, illuminating the soft tumble of hair on the pillow; his girlfriend, fast asleep, oblivious to the ticking bomb Tama cradled in his palm.
There was a pause on the other end of the call, a subtle shift as Eden processed his words. "Iām not alone," he added, voice dropping lower, the words heavy with implication. It wasnāt meant to be a warning, but somehow it came out that way.
A thin, icy breeze swept across the balcony, but it was nothing compared to the chill settling over the conversation. He heard the faintest intake of breath from Eden's end, a hitch he recognized from years ago, back when they would lie in the dark, talking about everything and nothing until sunrise. He could practically see her now, sitting cross-legged on her bed, twisting a strand of hair around her finger, eyes searching the ceiling for answers.
"Oh," Eden said, and her voice was so quiet he almost missed it. "I didnāt know you were seeing anyone."
He hesitated, caught between two versions of himself, the one perched here on the cold balcony, tethered by the fragile beginnings of a new life, and the one who still answered when Eden called. He exhaled, watched his breath fog the night. āYeah⦠itās kinda new, I guess,ā he said, the words coming out heavier than he intended. The confession tasted strange in his mouth, foreign, like someone elseās line in a play he didnāt audition for.
A beat of static hummed between them, the silence thickening against the cityās distant traffic.
āI donāt want toā¦Iāll let you go,ā Eden said, her voice tightening, brittle as glass and twice as fragile.
āNo,ā he blurted, the word outpacing reason, a reflex that startled even him. āDonāt.ā The plea lingered, raw and unguarded, and for a moment it hung there.
They both listened to the slow pulse of their breathing, strangers again after all this time, desperately orbiting the gravity of what went unsaid. "Tonight," Eden spoke, her voice soft but steady now. "You looked so different."
Tama pressed the heel of his hand against his throbbing shoulder, feeling the bruise beneath his skin pulse in time with his quickening heartbeat. "Different how?"
"Tired," she said. "Like you're carrying something heavy."
The words landed with uncomfortable precision. Tama turned, bracing both hands on the balcony railing, watching the city below breathe its electric light into the night. The metal bit cold through his palms.
"I saw you too," he admitted, the confession surprising even himself. "Last month. That article in Rolling Stone about your gallery opening."
"You read it?" The hope in her voice was barely concealed, a small crack in her composure.
"Yeah." He couldn't tell her he'd read it five times, couldn't explain how he'd memorized the description of her latest exhibitionā"Eden Cole's haunting new collection explores the liminal spaces between memory and reality." Couldn't admit that he'd recognized himself in every brushstroke of the featured painting, that fractured face staring back from the magazine page.
"You never came to see them in person," she said at last. Her voice was light, almost offhanded, but Tama heard the years of hurt under the surface; a hairline fracture running the length of a sentence. For a moment, neither of them filled the silence. The balconyās chill pressed through his thin t-shirt, and all he could think of was the time, years ago, when Eden had painted his portrait: how sheād forced him to sit still for hours in their shoebox apartment, the smell of oil paints hanging dense in the air. Sheād titled it āUnsaid.ā
He gripped the phone tighter, thumb blanching white, as if he could squeeze out a better version of himself through sheer force of will. His mind ticked through the plausible excuses; injuries, scheduling, the never-ending grind of tour dates, the unspoken expectation that he keep his distance for her sake, but he couldnāt bring himself to say any of them. They all sounded cheap, disposable, like the plastic trophies lining the shelves of his old childhood bedroom.
He took a shaky breath. āIām sorry, darlinā. You deserved better than that.ā
There was a pause, and for a fleeting second Tama wondered if sheād hung up, if the old Eden, the one who never chased what wasnāt hers, had finally learned to let go. But then he heard her breathing, slow and deliberate, as if she were counting out the seconds necessary to keep her voice from breaking.
"Did I?" she finally asked, and her tone stripped him bare, all pretense gone.
Tama ducked his head, staring down at the cityās neon veins, the traffic pulsing in patterns he pretended to understand. Of course she deserved better. Sheād always been the brave one, the one to stick her hand in the fire and come away with something beautiful, even if it meant getting burned. He, on the other hand, was always looking for a way to douse the flames before they caught.
He thought about the mess heād made of things with Eden, the slow-motion car crash of their inevitable undoing. The months he spent in Japan, coming down alone in nondescript hotel beds, missing her so badly it felt like a dislocated joint. He could still remember the way sheād look at him when he finally came home, her hands threading through his hair, her eyes a question he was too scared to answer.
"Yeah," he replied, voice soft and uneven. "You did. You do."
He heard her inhale, a sound so small and so sharp it made his throat ache. "Funny how that works," she said, almost to herself.
He let the words settle over him, heavy, pressing him into the present. Tama felt the two halves of his life collide, violently, inside his chest. He was still trying to piece together the fragments when Eden spoke again, her voice steadier now but no less raw, "Funny how some people stay the same, and some peopleā"
"Change," he finished, the word falling between them like a dropped glass.
She laughed, short and breathless. "Yeah. Change."
Neither of them said anything for a long time. The city below kept moving, ignorant of the standoff being waged ten stories above. Tama looked up at the stars, searching for something like clarity, and found only a sky empty of answers.
āWhyād you really call me tonight?ā he asked, not sure whether he wanted to know.
Eden hesitated, then exhaled. āI guess I just wanted to hear your voice, see if it still sounded the same.ā
He closed his eyes, letting her words settle over him like a second skin. If heād been any braver, he would have told her the truth: that heād kept every voicemail sheād ever left, that heād memorized the way she said his name when she wasnāt sure he was listening. That the sound of her voice was the only thing that ever steadied his hands when they shook, hours after a match, when the adrenaline crashed and the pain came rushing in.
Instead, he gripped the phone tighter, and said quietly, "Itās still me, sweetheart.ā
"Still you," she repeated, and her voice held something that sounded almost like disappointment. "I'm not sure if that's comforting or terrifying."
Tama shifted his weight, his bare feet cold against the balcony's concrete. The city lights twinkled below, indifferent to his turmoil. "Probably both."
"Eden, hold on," he whispered, turning toward the glass door. Through it, he could see the blue glow of the television casting shifting shadows across the bedroom. His girlfriend's silhouette appeared briefly before the bathroom light flicked on. He watched her, heart hammering, skin prickled cold; track his absence with slow, confused motions. She squinted at the clock, then at the balcony, then laid back down.
Eden was still on the line, her breath a feathered static in his ear, her name a molten thread pulling him back to a life he no longer had the right to claim. He could picture her, awake and waiting, on her own side of the world, unsatisfied by the silence and unwilling to hang up first.
āSorry,ā he said quietly.
There was another brittle pause, Edenās silence as loaded as a needle. āLook, I donāt wanna cause troubleā¦ā Her words trailed off, but Tama could picture the way sheād press her lips together, as if physically restraining herself from saying more, from reaching through the static to touch the part of him she remembered.
He shifted his grip on the phone, knuckles aching, head resting against the icy glass of the sliding door. Trouble. That was always the word people used when they wanted to pretend they werenāt the ones lighting the match. But he didnāt blame her; heād called her too, a hundred times in his head, and always hung up before she had the chance to answer.
He thought about his girlfriend in the next room, how sheād looked at him over room service just hours ago, her laughter a balm against the ache that never quite left his bones. Heād thought he could make a new life, one where the past stayed locked in the back of his mind, but Edenās voice was a skeleton key, turning old locks with effortless precision.
He could hear her exhale, could imagine the way her hand would hover over the āend callā button, not quite ready to sever the line. āIf youād ratherāā she began, her tone careful, āwe can just hang up. I donāt wanna be that person.ā
Tama swallowed, guilt and want colliding in his chest, scattering his thoughts like loose change. He forced a laugh, too thin to be convincing. āYouāre not causing trouble, darlin'. Thatās not it. I justāā He realized he had nothing to offer her but apologies and weak reassurances. āItās good to hear your voice, thatās all.ā Even as he said it, his eyes drifted back to the wavering blue light of the bedroom.
He wondered if Eden could hear the lie trembling under the surface of his words, if she recognized the old reflex, the way heād always tried to smooth the jagged edges of conversations he didnāt know how to finish. Maybe she did, because she went quiet again, and in that silence Tama felt the weight of the years compress into the space between two heartbeats.
He stood there, suspended, not wanting to let go but unsure how to keep holding on.
"Do you remember the night before you left for Japan that last time?" Eden's voice was a whisper now, barely audible over the distant traffic. "You told me you'd come back for me."
Tama closed his eyes, the memory hitting him like a fist to the sternum. That last night, her face illuminated by moonlight streaming through the bedroom window of their tiny apartment. The way she'd traced his features with her fingertips as if committing him to memory. The way he'd promised, knowing even then it was a lie he'd tell himself again and again.
"I remember," he said, his throat tight.
"Did you mean it?"
He couldn't answer. The words lodged themselves in his chest, painful and sharp. Behind him, through the glass, his girlfriend stirred, rolling over in her sleep.
"Eden, Iā" He stopped, pressing his forehead against the cold balcony railing. "We can't do this."
"Do what?" Her voice was steadier now, almost challenging. "Talk?"
"Reopen old wounds." His voice came out rougher than he intended. "I hurt you enough the first time."
"And you think silence is better?"
He pressed his forehead against the chilled pane, eyes slipping out of focus as traffic signals changed from red to green and streams of headlights shifted direction in perfect, mindless choreography. It was so different from the world he and Eden had built together; hers all color and raw nerve, his an endless negotiation between risk and restraint, never quite managing to meet in the middle.Ā
āAnyway, I should go. Iām opening a second gallery tomorrow night and still need to finish this painting.ā She sighed, her breath soft in his ear, as if equal parts pride and fatigue.
He pictured her standing among her works-in-progress, paint smudged down the side of her wrist, the blue of some new sky or bruise covering the tips of her fingers. Sheād once painted through a migraine so blinding she had to keep one eye closed, and when heād finally gotten her to lie down, sheād murmured, āIāll sleep when Iām dead,ā before lapsing into a fevered dream.
āSecond gallery?ā Tama asked, trying to keep his tone light. āThatās huge, Eden.ā And it was, the kind of thing sheād sketched in the margins of her notebooks when they were younger, before life unspooled and theyād become people with separate histories. He tried to summon gratitude that sheād made it, that she was living the kind of life heād always admired from a safe distance.
She laughed, the sound as raw and bright as a comet flaring out behind her. āYeah. Who wouldāve thought.ā Then, softer, āSometimes I wish you could see it. Not even the opening, just⦠the walls. What it looks like when itās quiet.ā
He heard the hitch in her voice and the ache behind his sternum spiked, and for a moment Tama thought he might say something reckless, something about hopping a flight and showing up when the lights were still off, just to see her in her element. But the words caught and died, tangled in the reality heād stitched together.
He let the silence yawn between them for a beat, then forced a crooked smile she couldnāt see. āI know itās beautiful, sweetheart," he said, and meant it.
Tama closed his eyes, visualizing the walls of her gallery, imagining the smell of wet paint and the quiet solitude she loved so much. For a second, he was right there next to her.
Then, a sharp, raspy voice broke through the glass.
"Tama?"
His eyes snapped open. Through the sliding door, his girlfriend was sitting up in bed, the blanket pooling at her waist. She rubbed her eyes, squinting toward the balcony, trying to make out his silhouette in the dark.
Panic, cold and sudden, spiked in his chest.
"I have to go," he whispered into the phone, the words tasting like ash.
Edenās breath caught. "I know." The resignation in her voice was worse than anger. It was the sound of someone who was used to being left behind. "Goodbye, Tama," she whispered, her voice cracking on the final syllable.
The line went dead. He lowered the phone, the screen glowing briefly against his palm before fading to black. He slid the glass door open and stepped back into the room, leaving a piece of himself out in the cold.
āāā
The air in the gallery smelled of expensive champagne, white lilies, and the faint, stubborn tang of dried oil paint. Eden stood near the center of the brightly lit room, a crystal flute trembling slightly in her hand. She wore a backless emerald slip dress that moved like liquid when she shifted her weight, her hair pinned up in an elegant, chaotic twist that exposed the delicate line of her neck. She looked radiant, commanding, and entirely untouchable; the exact picture of the soaring success she had always dreamed of.
From the shadows near the coat check, Tama watched her.
He felt entirely out of place. The red-eye flight from Chicago had been brutal, the pressurized cabin wreaking havoc on his injured shoulder, but the exhaustion had evaporated the second he stepped off the damp pavement and through the galleryās glass doors. He couldnāt stay away. Her voice on the phone, the quiet desperation, the wistful wish that he could see the walls, had echoed in his head until buying the ticket was the only way to silence it.
"My sweet girl," he murmured under his breath, the word slipping out instinctively as he watched her laugh at something an art critic was saying.
He stayed by the periphery, leaning his good shoulder against a blank stretch of wall and letting the wealthy patrons in their tailored suits drift past him. He wanted to give her this moment, to just watch her shine in the world she had built from scratch. She was nodding along to the older man in a tweed blazer, offering a polite, practiced smile.
But from this distance, Tama could see the tension in her jaw. He knew her tells. He recognized the slight downward tilt of her chin and the way her eyes looked past the crowd rather than at them. She was surrounded by a hundred people who wanted to know the artist, but she looked entirely alone.
Then, the critic gestured toward a painting on the far wall, and Eden turned.
Her gaze swept over the crowd, a casual, sweeping glance that suddenly snapped to a halt.
Tama didn't move. He stood next to a towering canvas of fractured blues and grays, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dark leather jacket, his dark eyes locked intensely on hers.
For a second, the entire gallery seemed to hold its breath. The low hum of sophisticated chatter, the clinking of glasses, the soft jazz playing from hidden speakers; it all muted into a dull roar. Edenās polite smile vanished. Her lips parted, the champagne flute tilting dangerously in her hand as her chest rose in a sharp, sudden intake of breath.
He could see the exact moment her disbelief shattered into recognition. Slowly, Tama offered a small, crooked smile, the one she used to say could get him out of any trouble in the world. He pulled his hands from his pockets and took a single step forward, walking out of the shadows and straight into the bright, unforgiving light of her new life.
"You came," she whispered, though they were still several feet apart. Her lips formed the words rather than spoke them.
He nodded, unable to trust his voice. His heart hammered against his ribs, each beat sending a fresh wave of pain through his injured shoulder. The doctor had warned him about travel, about stress, about the possibility of further damage if he didn't rest properly. But standing here, watching Eden's careful composure crack around the edges, none of that mattered.
The critic beside her cleared his throat, looking between them with obvious confusion. "Ms. Cole, shall we continue our tour?"
Eden blinked, as if suddenly remembering where she was. "Yes, of course," she replied, her voice steadier than Tama expected.
āGo, Iāll wait.ā Tama said with a nod.
She turned her attention to the critic, who wasted no time launching into a monologue about the postmodern implications of her color palette, the long tail of the American Abstract, the way her brushstrokes looked like aftershocks of some private disaster. Eden nodded along, her posture impeccable, her hands folded in front of her, the champagne glass now a prop instead of a comfort. She was, Tama realized, performing the version of herself that the world had come to expect, every word and gesture a careful negotiation between what she wanted them to see and what she actually felt.
She hovered by the last of the guests, letting the final accolades bounce off her, and then, when the room was nearly hollow, cut a path straight to him. She stopped just shy of touching distance. Her eyes flicked up to meet his, and in them was the exhaustion of every year theyād spent apart, the effort it took to keep breathing in a world that insisted on moving forward, indifferent to what it left behind.
āIām sorry,ā she sighed, and the words came out a little ragged, as if sheād been holding them in for years. āDidnāt know Iād be gone that long.ā
He nearly reached for her, but held his hands at his sides, afraid the smallest contact would break them both open. The silence was different now, less a chasm than a fragile bridge; it asked for something, he just didnāt know what.
She laughed then; soft, self-effacing, her hand fluttering to her bare shoulder. āGod, listen to me. Itās supposed to be the best night of my life and Iām already making it weird.ā
He smiled, careful not to let it get away from him. āYou always did know how to clear a room. Even when we were teenagers.ā
Edenās lips twisted into a real smile, and the tension in her jaw slackened. She stepped closer, until the scent of her filled the space between them. She tilted her head, appraising him as if he were another painting on the wall.
āI canāt believe you came,ā she said, and this time it wasnāt a question. It was a thank you and a challenge and a kind of invitation, all at once.
He nodded, suddenly aware of how far heād traveled, of how nothing in his life had felt as real as this moment. His tongue fumbled for something that could come close to the size of what he felt, that could shrink the enormity of his longing into something as fragile and fleeting as a sound. āI needed to see you here,ā the confession fell between them, pained but unflinching. āThe way you move in this place,ā he tried again, voice low and rough, āthe way youāreāā He cut himself off, jaw flexing, afraid the rest would tumble out as something ugly or selfish.
Eden stared at him with that old, surgical intensity, like she wanted to carve the truth out of his skin and keep it preserved. Tama forced himself not to look away from her. He wanted her to see every piece of him, the ruined and the resilient, the parts that still bled for her even when he thought heād forgotten how.
He didnāt know how to say it gently, so he let it come out the only way it wanted: honest, heavy, and burning through his chest. āIām so fucking proud of you,ā he admitted. āMore than anything else, I wanted to see you do this. I wanted to see you be exactly who youāre supposed to be.ā
Her face crumpled, just for a heartbeat, and she swayed forward as if the force of his words had broken something loose inside her. āI think,ā she said, voice shaking, āI think I needed you to see it too.ā
For a long moment they stood still, the lit canvases and the hush of the gallery holding them in a loose orbit. Then Tama, unable to stop himself, finally reached out. His hand hovered, hesitant, then landed lightly at her elbow, grounding her. She pressed her palm over his, cool and damp from the glass sheād been holding, and the contact was so electric he feared it might undo him completely.
They stood together in the wake of everything they hadnāt said, and Tama realized that the world, with all its sharp, indifferent momentum, had just slowed enough for the two of them to breathe the same air again. Eden leaned her head against his shoulder, and he let her, careful to keep the moment together with reverence and awe. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest. When she pulled back, there was a wet shine in her eyes and a crooked smile on her lips.
"Thank you for showing up.ā
Tamaās crooked smile slowly faltered. He looked at her, taking in the emerald dress, the crystal flute, the walls covered in the beautiful, agonizing proof that she had survived him. She didn't need him to save her anymore. She just needed to know he saw her shine.
"I had to," he murmured, his voice thick. "Butā¦"
Eden closed her eyes, and a single, silent tear slipped down her cheek, catching the harsh gallery light. "But you can't stay." It wasn't a question. The quiet invitation evaporated between them, leaving behind a cold, stark truth.
He wanted to lie. He wanted to tell her heād tear down the life waiting for him. But he had already broken Eden once; he couldn't do it again just because he was homesick for a past they couldn't get back.
"No," Tama whispered. He brought his hand up, his knuckles gently brushing the tear from her cheek. She leaned into his palm for a fleeting, desperate second, committing the warmth to memory. "Forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive," she lied beautifully, her voice trembling as she finally took a physical step back, out of his reach. The few inches between them immediately felt like a canyon. "Iām sure you have a flight to catch. And I haveā¦I have this." She gestured vaguely to the gallery.
Tama let his hand drop heavily to his side. The dull throb in his injured shoulder was nothing compared to the violent fracture in his chest. "Donāt ever stop. Youāve built something incredible.ā he said, taking a slow, reluctant step backward toward the exit.
"Goodbye, Tama," she said softly. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly looking very small in the center of her massive success, as if bracing for a sudden winter chill.
He didn't say it back. He just gave a single, tight nod, turned, and pushed through the heavy glass doors. He walked out into the cold city night, leaving her standing in the bright, unforgiving light of her perfect new life, while he disappeared back into the dark.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
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So... just an FYI. I did not send this to anyone. One of my mutuals asked if I did. Looks like someone copied my blog. I can't find the other blog to report it but, if you get something like this, it's not from me!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
ššššššššš¤Ā love runs deep, but sometimes the pain runs deeper. and sometimes....it's irreparable.
ššššššššš¤Ā angst.
šššššš¤Ā six thousand, five hundred, and some change (6k+)
šššššššš¤Ā roman reigns x black!ocĀ
ššššššš¤Ā graphic and dividers by me.
šššš šššššš¤Ā āmirrorā by justin timberlake
šššššš'š ššššš¤Ā Ā be sure to have read part one, never be the same and part two, say something, before reading this.
āAnd thatās the problem!ā He shouts, either too deeply embedded into his own feelings to notice the way Solana jumps at his volume or perhaps, in this rare moment, heās just uncaring. āThatās always been the fucking problem.ā Roman punches his hand into his open fist to accompany each perfectly enunciated, sharp word, further emphasizing his frustration. āWeāve been stuck in this goddamn cycle for over twenty years now, and at this point, I donāt know how we break it.ā But the frustration collapses with the slump of his shoulders and dip of his lips into a deep frown. āOr if itās already broke us.ā
Gail immediately refocuses on Solana, unsurprised to see her body language mimics that of her husband with the additive of the silent tears that stream down her face. Shoulders also slumped, mouth opening and closing as she struggles to verbalize what Gail knows must crush her to say aloud.
āFeels pretty broken to me.ā
The silence is deafening.
Lita casts a quick glance between the two of them, leaned forward as she lowers her voice.
āOkay, thereās a lotāā
āI canāt do this right now,ā Roman murmurs. Two set of eyes flick in his direction as he stands, turning in the opposite direction of Solana who remains seated, eyes shut, the tears continuing to fall.
āRomanāā
The last minute attempt to convince him to stay is a failed one. The door shutting behind him with a softness that contrasts everything that just occurred and remains in the small room that suddenly feels overwhelming with an influx of emotions.
āHeās done,ā Solana whispers. Gail starts to move to reach and place her hand over Solanaās, but the other woman shakes her head. A one shoulder shrug and the saddest smile thatās ever graced someoneās face. āWeāre done.ā
āIām getting really worried.ā
Leyaās whispered confession draws the focus of her siblings. Her eyes remain down on her lap, on the intricate design of the pillow that she has hugged against her chest. Itās a sort of therapeutic technique she learned a long time ago. When she was younger and her OCD was the worst itās ever been. Brie would instruct her to hold a pillow close to her chest, holding and squeezing it while taking deep breaths, pretending that the combination and eventual release of her breath and the tension in her body represented the ābad thoughtsā being released.
It was helpful. Very helpful in some cases.
But right now, itās not doing much.
āHeās still not back home,ā Nic adds, frown deepening. His eyes flick around the room, his jaw shifting in the same way their dad's does when he's in the midst of thought, working and mulling over scenarios in real time while still maintaining verbal communication. āAnd he and mom are talking less and less.ā
āNot even that,ā Aria speaks up, looking among her brothers and sisters. Like once before, she sits only a few inches away from Leya. A symbolic seating of sorts considering they are two of the few siblings who still live at home. All for obvious reasons, whether it be them still being minors or situations like Leya where it just makes since given her having RJ. But their residing in the home also means that they've been granted a front row seat to the tension that's marred their family home over the past few weeks. āYou couldā¦.you could tell they were upset with each other before, but nowā¦now they donāt even seem angry anymore. They just seemā¦.sad.ā
Itās a shared sentiment among the older of the Reigns kids. Even Aroha, on the verge of her twelfth birthday, has pressed her siblings for questions regarding their parents obvious conflict. Both Aria and Leya have done their best to answer without answering, but Aroha isn't the baby of the family anymore with a limited ability to understand what's going on. She knows that something is very wrong, and there's only so many different ways they can dodge the obvious before she becomes aware of how dire the situation is.
Soon enough, Aubrey, Tavita, and RJ will be the only ones spared from the glaring realization that something is definitely, deeply wrong.
The kids were hoping that the joint therapy session Aria saw on her dadās calendar when updating his phone for him would be the thing that did it. That helped their parents get through or over this hurdle that theyāve seemingly encountered.
But the evening of said session, Solana returned home alone. Roman didn't walk into the front door until they were setting the table for dinner, and Koa and Kai were feeding the pets.
And once all the younger kids were down for bed, Leya checked the camera app on her phone to see her dad climb into one of the family's many cars, start it up, and drive off.
She must have stared at the empty spot where the car once sat for a good ten minutes. At least until the image was blurred and distorted by the tears that were burning her eyes.
The displeasure of having a front row seat from the moment this all began, when her mom marched into the home carrying with her an energy that would change everything, has meant that Leya has, in many ways, been affected the most by it all. Lost in the chaos of a storm that has no visible end in sight and leaves in its wake destruction that's gradually starting to feel irreparable with each passing day of no reconciliation in sight.
For her and all of the rest of her siblings outside of the OG's 2.0, itās been the most fucking uncomfortable thing ever. When the rough patch hit years prior, there were at least attempts to feign and maintain the role of a happy couple. Their efforts were not without the holes that the older kids were able to spot plain as day, but the fact that their parents at least tried to pretend that everything was fine, for the sake of not wanting to worry their kids, meant something.
But this isn't then.
Their parents arenāt even trying to force or fake shit. Theyāre justā¦.there.
āI briefly overheard them talking last nightāā
āReally?ā Itās the most hopeful Leya has felt and sounded since they all arrived at Linaās place, needing the space to speak and talk freely without Aroha or their parents overhearing. āWhatāwhat did they say?ā
Koa shakes his head. His foot taps against the floor, his fingers also moving in rhythmic patterns against his knee. āI couldnāt make out all of it, but something about waiting until after Arohaās birthdayāā
āWaiting for what?ā
Kai fixes his gaze on Lina. āHe just said he couldnāt make it out.ā
āI wasnāt talking to you.ā
āGuys,ā Tamaās deep voice cuts through whatās sure to be a part two from the last time they gathered together, except this time, heās not about to let things get as far as they did before. He wasn't for it then, and he damn sure isn't for it now. Things were just bad then, but they're significantly worse now, and that's saying something. āStop it. Now.ā
āWhat if itās happening this time?ā Leya whispers. To herself. Maybe her siblings. Sheās not sure. She just knows the sensation of her eyes burning is followed up with a wet feeling against her cheeks. āWhat ifā¦what if theyāre getting a divorced?ā
āNo way.ā Nic's rebuff is quick and sharp. His voice drops an octave, deepening in the way almost all of the boys' voices do when they're irritated or uncomfortable. Again, just like their dad. āNo one loves each other more than mom and dad.ā
āCertainly doesnāt feel that way anymore.ā
āKoa!ā
āWhat?ā He snaps, crossing his arms over his chest. āItās been over two weeks, and things arenāt getting any better. Theyāre only getting worse.ā
āI canāt believe he had a stroke and didnāt tell mommy,ā Lina voices what sheās been wondering since her sister broke the shocking, alarming news. āThey tell each other everything.ā
āNot this,ā Kai mutters.
Tama starts to check his younger brother once more but opts to try to keep the conversation focused and on topic. āHe probably didnāt want to worry herāā
āHeās done a great job with that.ā
āSissy,ā Leya sighs. Lina looks at her twin, the solemn expression on a face thatās hers but also not making her shoulders drop. āSorry,ā she murmurs. āI justāā She swallows, eyes growing watery. āThis canāt be happening. Mommy and daddy are soulmates. They canātāthey canāt get divorced.ā She looks around the room, a sense of helplessness thatās foreign and suffocating. āThey still love each other. I know they do.ā
Lina has always been the problem solver of her siblings. Tama as well, but the final say has always been run past her. Itās always been her gift in life. A gift she inherited from her father. Underneath an often rough, tough exterior is a problem solving brain that is typically the source of countless, possible solutions.
But she sits among her brothers and sisters, stunned and damned to the silence that represents failure.
She canāt solve this.
Doesnāt know how.
Her words, however, trigger something within Aria. She lifts her head, slowly, mouthing something to herself. Itās faint and low but heard and noticed by Leya who looks at her with glossy eyes.
āWhat is it?ā
The question manages to temporarily relieve the rest of kids from the depressing realization that the life theyāve always known, loved, and appreciated might be on the path of change.
And not the good type.
Samaria licks her lips, looking around the room, her gaze settling on Tama and Lina.
āI think I have an idea.ā
āāāā
The sound of the front door slamming and the soles of her foot slapping against the wooden floor serve as blurred background noise. Everything outside of racing thoughts, most of which were intrusive in nature, have clouded up her headspace. Ever since her phone lit up as she was in the midst of vacuuming out the OG's 2.0 playroom and saw a text from her eldest son. Simple in nature. Heavy in meaning.
We need you.
Solana was out the door in under twenty minutes. The short distance from the Reigns estate and the home of her eldest two children has never felt so far away as she sped through traffic, uncaring of any laws being broken in the process.
All she could think about was the fact that it was rare for her son to send such a short, non-descriptive message. Even more, especially since he moved out, Tama has always preferred to talk over text. At least with her.
So Solana knew that something had to be very wrong, hence the urgency that guided her movements and relentless efforts to make it to her babies.
Except the minute she rounds the entryway and heads for the living room, calls for her son and daughter left unanswered, worry is swapped for something else.
Shock.
Emerging from the kitchen, most likely through the backdoor entrance off said kitchen, Solana stands across from the man she's barely spoken more than ten words to over the past several days.
Roman.
His expression, she's certain, mirrors hers. He eyes her skeptically before his mouth settles into a line and her own mouth parts once and then twice before she manages to speak.
"Whatāwhat are you doing here?"
Though the minute it comes out, she immediately both regrets and answers her own question. If Tama reached out to her because something is wrong, of course he'd reach out to his dad as well.
Roman must realize this, too, as his answer never comes, or rather it's intercepted by the sound of footsteps as she turns around to see several of her oldest children. Tama is included in said group, but the expression on his face, on all of their faces, doesn't indicate a level or urgency.
It indicatesā¦.anxiety.
Like they're nervous about something.
Roman finally breaks his silence, voicing what Solana is thinking. "What's going on?"
Lina steps forward, her siblings eyes fixed onto her as she motions with her arm to the living room. "Please. Sit." She leans to the side just enough to ensure locking eyes with her father. "Daddy, you too."
And just like that, the concern about what had happened shifts to what's about to happen. Solana, however, would like to believe that her kids wouldn't have called both herself and Roman over here for nothing. So instead of pushing back the way she wants to, she silently walks into the living room, placing her purse on the space beside her.
Roman follows suit, sitting across the way, of course.
Though she understands it and prefers it, she also hates it. As upset and angry and hurt and everything else as she is towards and with her husband, it hasn't dulled the wound in her chest that's been birthed and only grown day after day since this all went down.
"Kids." Solana turns to see Roman is focused on their children who've also joined them in the living room, lined up almost in front of the television. Lina. Leya. Tama. Aria. Nic. "I'm not gon' ask again."
As much as Solana dislikes the almost irritated tone he's taken with them, the question is valid. Though she has a feeling she's not going to like the answer any more than he will.
Tama takes a deep breath and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. "Look, we knowā¦.we know you guys aren't in a good place right now."
Solana shuts her eyes. Her suspicions have now turned into confirmations.
"Tamā"
"And we know that you've always told us to stay out of it," Lina cuts in, the only one in the group other than Tama, that would have the balls to interrupt Roman like that. "That your marriage is none of our business and between the two of you."
Solana licks her lips, gradually willing her eyes open. "Linā"
"But whatever is happening between you guys right now is affecting all of us," Nic's additive does nothing more than increase that weight on Solana's chest. She's not stupid. As much as she would like to believe she and Roman have done their best to not allow their situation to impact the kids, that's just not a feasible nor realistic expectation. With the exception of Aubrey and Tavita, Solana knows her children well enough to know they inherited their father's discernment.
They can see what doesn't need to be stated.
Aria takes another deep breath as she takes over for her brother." We know something is wrong, and we love you both too much to sit back and do nothing."
Solana doesn't need to be looking at her husband to see the way his jaw shifts and moves as he works to find the right, best words. āSamariaāā
āPlease,ā Leya cuts in, stepping forward, lips pressed together as her parents focus on her. āForā¦for us.ā
Itās a bit of a cruel string to pull. A manipulation tactic if not for who it was to evoke it.
The only thing that neither Solana nor Roman can ever say no to.
When it comes to their kids, itās always a yes.
Itās why, despite them sitting on opposite sofasāSolana on the one facing the TV and Roman on the one adjacent to the TVāthey're on the same page for a first time in a long time.
Aria is the one to walk over to them, breaking from her brothers and sisters. āWe know that weāre obviously biased since weāre your kids. Not to mention itās not really our place, but we thought....ā She stops, looking over at someone else to take over as she grabs the remote, setting up the television, the emotion in her voice indicative of her struggle. āWe thought maybe if you hear it from someone other than us, itāll help you remember.ā
Solana shifts on the sofa, hating the way she struggles to maintain her volume. Indication and reminders of her immense difficulty over the past two weeks in trying to keep it all together. āRemember what?ā
Lina is the one to handle the question, the final one, as the kids start to spill out the room.
āThat youāre RoSo.ā
The term makes both husband and wife still. But whatever is felt from hearing something that carries so much history and weight is redirected when music starts to play. A song she recognizes almost instantly.
Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
The dark screen lights up, cursive black font set against a white backdrop.
RoSo
Solanaās hand drops to her stomach at the transition to Dwayne and Matteo, clearly at the Warehouse, in the midst of a workout. The music remains playing in the background at a lower volume to accommodate the sounds of the interviewees.
āUncle Dwayne. Uncle Teo.ā Tamaās voice is loud and clear, confirming heās the one filming the two men who stand with light sheen of sweat splayed across their forehead, hands on their waist. āWhatās the first thing that comes to mind when you think of RoSo?ā
Dwayne chuckles, looking at Matteo. āYou wanna go first, Fabio?ā
Matteo casts a wry smile and glances at the camera. āThatās easy.ā He shrugs. āLove.ā
Romanās jaw clenches.
āFucker stole my answer,ā Dwayne curses, also looking at the camera. āBut like he said, love. Unlike anything Iāve ever seen, either.ā
The clips switches as a smiling Afia and Bayley stand next to each other. Like the men, dressed in workout/training attire and clearly at the Warehouse but caught right before the beginning of their sparring session.
āTias.ā Itās Linaās voice this time as she presents the same question as her brother. āWhatās the first thing that comes to mind when you think of RoSo?ā
Bayley scoffs. āDouche, but that only applies to the first half.ā
Afia lightly slaps Bayley on the arm, shaking her head before taking a soft breath. Her pretty eyes flick upward, narrowing slightly in the way she does when in deep thought. āSoulmates.ā
āAs much as I hate to say anything remotely good about your irritating ass dad, sheās right.ā Bayley feigns an over-dramatic sigh before her mouth settles into a small, genuine smile. āSoulmates for sure.ā
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Another transition to another clip that reveals Cameron, Melina, and Mickie, also at the Warehouse, which instantly has Solana convinced that the kids must have asked everyone to meet them there.
That faction of Solanaās friend group only attends the Warehouse for fight nights and major matches, primarily when Roman is fighting, and even then, theyāre more there for her than for the actual fights.
And just like the last two times, the same question is presented, but the timbre of Nicās deep voice is heard instead of Linaās much lighter, softer one. Mickie is the first to answer in the way that only Mickie would.
āHot.ā
Nicās exasperated sigh makes Solana smile. āAunt Mickie.ā
Cameron, however, quickly jumps in with her own answer accompanied by a soft smile. āInspiring.ā
Melina casts her a sideways glance, playfully nudging her. āYou make them sound like motivational speakers.ā
She shrugs, pushing her braids back over her shoulder. āI mean, Solana kind of is.ā
Itās hard for Solana to pinpoint exactly what part of what sheās watching affects and impacts her the most. The words. The participants. The effort her children have clearly put in to make all this happen, and in such a short period of time, it seems. Each compliment, however, seems to do something to her. Lessens just a little bit the weight sheās carried with her nonstop the past two weeks.
But she's tuned back in, resisting the desire to look over at Roman whoās also watched quietly thus far, as Mickie makes a āpfftā sound. āRoman isnāt.ā She rolls her eyes, lifting her hand to examine her nails. āHeās the meanest person I know.ā
āMickey,ā Melina mutters, gesturing to the camera. āThatās his dad.ā
āOh my God, itās not a secret. Literally everyone knows Roman is mean.ā She throws her hands up, looking away, gasping. āHere. You.ā
Confusion dwells as the footage becomes shaky before the camera refocuses on an unfamiliar face, but he wears a solid black shirt with a familiar, red insignia on the right side, just above his pectoral muscles.
Bloodline.
However, Solanaās guess would be heās not of theā¦..field type. Perhaps something related to tech. Slim build, greasy hair, some strings clinging to his forehead, and the way he pushes his thick rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose as well as the overall startled expression all but confirm it.
There are numerous positions available throughout the Bloodline, and despite popular misconception, not all of them require the ability to maim and kill. There are many other roles that need fulfilling, some of which include sitting behind a desk.
This man is clearly a desk type.
āWhatās your name?ā Mickie asks but immediately waves away as if physically pushing her initial query to the side in place of whatās most relevant. āWhatever. It doesnāt matter. Isnāt Roman Reigns an asshole?ā
āMickie!ā
Another smile appears on Solanaās face as the nervous expression on the manās swiftly morphs into something of horror. His widened eyes and dilated pupils magnified 10x over.
āTheāthe Tribal Chief?ā His eyes switch to the camera, slightly above the frame, which Solana would guess is him realizing just who is holding said camera. He gulps. āNo. Nāno. Theāthe Tribal Chief is a great manāā
āOkay, thatās enough.ā A quiet laugh actually spills over when Mickie literally shoves the man away, prompting outcry from Cameron and Melina. āSee, even strangers are afraid of him. Why?ā She mouths she word, sound absent but lips easily readable. āAsshole.ā
āIgnore her.ā Solana watches Melina shake her head when Nic refocuses the camera on her, and even before she can fix her mouth to say it, Solana just knows. Can tell by the gleam in her eyes what the answer is.
āAmor.ā
Love.
Additional clips interviewing closest family and friends continue to flash across the screen, but Solana feels frozen in place and time from that word. A word that so deeply encompasses so much of her life. Of her relationship.
Carved into her, metaphorically and physically. The latter of the two further emphasized when she realizes her hand is placed against her chest, fingers covering the black and red ink near her clavicle.
Her tattoo.
The one she got for Roman.
For them.
She swallows, emotion continuing to build as the lyrics burn into her soul.
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along.
Except the emotion only extrapolates when unexpected participants fill up the flat screen TV.
Aubrey, Tavita, and RJ are sitting at the table she recognizes from being the one in their shared playroom. Naturally, all three are wiggly, but only Aubrey is smiling happily. RJ and Tavita instead carry pouts and scowls that remind her so much ofā¦.of Roman.
Roman
āOkay, guysāā
Koaās voice is cut off by a whining, pouting Aubrey as she reaches up with her arms. Tavita and RJ present a question Solana canāt entirely make out. āCan you hold me?ā
A heavy sigh makes her chuckle as she wipes at her eyes. Koa offers, in the nicest voice he can, sheās certain, a delayed acceptance. āAfter, Aubrey.ā
Kaiās irritated voice sounds from elsewhere, most likely behind Koa, with his arms crossed and frustration written all over his face. Neither of her twin boys have ever been very good withā¦.little kids. āWhy does she always want to be held?ā
āI donāt think she knows how to use her legs.ā
āLeave her alone. Sheās only three.ā Aria snaps, and it causes the tears to spill over at a faster, heavier rate. All the kids. All of her kids partook in this, the older ones handling the filming with her younger kids partaking in the answering portion. Hence why she would guess this interviewing of the OGās 2.0 would be the last set. āAnd would you two shut up? I donāt want to have to edit this out.ā
āGuys.ā Kai cuts in, forever the one to keep everyone focused. āDo you know what RoSo is?ā
Itās a shared answer with a loud āyeah!ā coming from all three.
āWho is RoSo?ā
Again, another joint answer, naturally, RJās answer differing from that of his technical aunt and uncle.
āMommy and daddy!ā
āGrandpa and abuela!ā
Solana sniffles, smiling at the kidsā enthusiastic replies, Aubrey clapping happily. And for the first time since the start of the video, Solanaās eyes drift over to the other side of the room where Roman sits on the edge of the sofa. Leaned over, his hands fisted together over his mouth, brows furrowed and and focused on the screen with the same level of intensity and intrigue thatās sat with her from the moment the video started.
It makes her heart swell.
āThatās right.ā Aria giggles and gasps dramatically. āAnd how do you feel about RoSo?ā A beat. āDo you guys love RoSo?ā
That final question, however is what really evokes the biggest smile, laughs, and glee from the children with a loud, unanimous āyes!ā
The timing is synced perfectly, it seems, as the final refrain begins and all of the clips fill the screen, one by one, sounds muted to allow the music to play louder and without interruption. But itās when the post-chorus begins that Solana nearly loses it.
āOh my God.ā
Clips of herself and Roman.
From their wedding in Mexico shortly before the girls were born. Solana smiling and holding onto his arm.
Several from their vow renewal ceremonies over the year.
Her dancing playfully as he spins her around and tugs her against him, craning his head down to kiss her shoulder, her own over his forearm. Smiling.
Them in the pool, him holding her as she smiles down and kisses him. Right before he squeezes her ass under the water, prompting her to gasp and swat at his shoulder.
Of her in the kitchen cooking and him sneaking up to hug her from behind. Her hand over her chest, smile on her face and head tilted back to cradle the back of his head as he kisses her.
Roman sitting at the table talking to the kids, giving them one of his many lectures, hand gestures and all. Solana behind him, nodding and playfully mimicking his non-verbals. The amused smile on Leyaās face giving her away as Roman turns to look at her. Her expression immediately dropping, eyes widening with faux innocence. Lighthearted mockery veiled by her quickly kissing his temple and darting away.
Them on the beach, her giggling and attempting to run only for his long legs to easily allow him to catch her. Though the original audio is muted to allow for Timberlake's volalization, Solana can hear her laughter through the screen as he picks her up and spins her back around.
Hospital footage from several of the kidsā births. Roman sitting at the edge of the hospital bed, holding their baby, her peering over his shoulder.
Him holding her against him as she leaned her forehead into his chest, squeezing his arms while he swayed gently with her to ease the pain and discomfort from her contractions.
Her standing between his open legs, comb in hand as she parted his hair while saying something to the kids only to jump when his hands lifted to her waist, clearly squeezing playfully. The smile on her face as she looked down and captured a kiss before gently tugging at his beard before resuming.
Roman's head back, lips slightly parted as she was curled into him, hand on his chest. On the family's private jet, clearly on the way home from one of their vacations. Both of their eyes shut as they stole a rare moment of the peace and quiet needed for a quick nap.
So many clips.
So many stolen moments, some of which, she hadn't even realized her kids captured on video.
So many memories.
By the time, itās finished, Solana canāt breathe. Canāt think. Canāt anything. Sheās overwhelmed and filled with an abundance of unnamed entities that have her heart heavy, her stomach tight, and her hand over her chest. Itās a trick of the mind, sheās certain, but she can almost feel the thud of her heart against her shaky palm. Her eyes burn and jaw trembles. Itās only as the sight ahead of her becomes blurry and the weight travels down to her legs that she has to move.
Has to find escape, her legs carrying her out of the living room and to the back of the townhouse, through the kitchen and out the back sliding door.
Her vision remains disrupted, big gasps of breath taken to inhale as much of the fresh air as she can handle, but itās a shaky process. Her inability to regulate her breathing fueled by the sob making its way up the back of her throat. She continues to walk, feet carrying her into the patch of grass the outlines the patio and recently uncovered pool.
The same grass that cushions her knees when she falls to the ground, one hand over stomach, the other covering her mouth as the sob finally breaks through the surface. Sheās doubled over, emotions overflowing and manifesting in the way she wails loudly. Intermittent gasps and sharp intakes of breaths as crying battles with the crippling somatic sensations that feel an awful like the early stages of a panic attack.
It most likely is one, too.
Itād be the third one sheās had over the past week.
But new sensations, different yet familiar, gradually seep in and manage to de-escalate. A gentle touch, fingers grazing against her arms. A gentle tug that has her back against against something firm but soothing as the hands shift to where solid, strong arms circle her waist. Solanaās hands naturally fall on Romanās forearms that secure and lock her to him.
It makes her stomach twist tighter and tears fall harder.
Neither stop her, however, from uttering the first real, authentic words to him since their disastrous therapy session. Any interactions and conversations since then have been forced, fake, and inauthentic.
Thereās nothing inauthentic about the heartbroken words that she manages to force out in between gut wrenching crying. āIām sorāIām sorāā
āSolāā
āWeāveāweāve built a life tātogether.ā Itās a life she never envisioned for herself. Before Roman, Solana didnāt see herself making it to thirty. But because of him, sheād had her first set of kids by thirty. āI canāt loseāthat. I canāt lose you.ā
Despite the tightness in her chest and the way her eyes burn from how much sheās cried over the past few two weeks, she manages to channel enough strength to turn to look at him.
Itās like looking at herself. A different side of herself. Harder, stronger, firmer. A pillar. The other and best parts of her in so many ways.
His glossed eyes burn into her, hand lifting to palm her cheek. āSolanaāā
āYouāre my best friend.ā She sniffles, shaking her head as his thumb brushes away her tears. āI donāt know how to do life without you, Roman, and the fact that one day, a day that's sooner rather than farther, is a reality that I will have to face terrifies me. I donātā" Another deep, sharp intake of breath that makes her chest tighten and shoulders slump once more. "I should have told you about the pregnancy."
"Solā"
"I hatedāhated lying to you. IāI shouldn't have, but IāI thought if I couldāif I could spare you from feeling that pain, thenāthen I was going to do that for you. All you've ever done is protect me, and IāI wanted to be the one to protect you for once. "But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter anymore. It was selfish of her to keep such a thing from Roman. Yes, just as she stated, she wanted nothing more than to protect her husband the way he'd always protected her. Intentions, however, matter not in the face of the outcome and reality. She was wrong, and there's no way around that. Plain and simple.
She bites down on her bottom lip, realizing that this is the moment to lay it all out. Good, bad, whatever it may be, Roman is more than deserving of the truth. He always was.
"For almost twenty years, there wasn't a single day where I wasn't haunted by the āthe memories of my rape orāor my mother's murder, and sometimesāsometime both." Solana manages a shaky breath, powering through it all. "I couldn't help it. Couldn't control it. But thatā¦that I could. IāI know you don't believe me, but I hadn't thought about it in years, Roman." She lifts her eyes to his once more, having to push back the next wave of tears just beyond the horizon. "Whenāwhen we got pregnant with Nicky, when we had him, I pushed it so far to the back of my mind that it wasn't until we were arguingā"
And just like in the days following both the discovery and the loss, an immense weight on her chest and in her heart. That weighs her down and makes her desperate to reach for something. For someone. Because there wasn't a day that passed that Solana didn't want to tell Roman, didn't want to share the truth as to why they couldn't be intimate. What'd happened. What they'd lost.
But she didn't. And that is a mistake she will have to carry with her for the rest of her life. A mistake that she'll regret for the rest of her life.
Looking at him once more, seeing the emotion dancing in his eyes, a rare display and reflection of vulnerability that's never felt stronger, Solana is overcome once more.
āI love you.ā
A combination and accumulation of everything thatās transpired over the past two weeks. Emotions that have deprived her of peace, stripped her of calm and layered her with the weight of loss.
Solanaās children have always been her greatest source of joy, but the fact of the matter is that she has them because of him. Because of Roman.
And as frustrated and upset as sheās been with him, that she was, the bulk of her emotions hasnāt been anger.
Itās been hurt.
A type of pain that she hasnāt experienced in years. Old wounds gradually and torturously ripped open that, prior to this, she was sure sheād healed from. A level of unhealthy codependency.
She would never ever do anything to hurt herself. Would never do that to her kids, nor does she have any desire to not be alive.
Butā¦.
Thereāa sick, twisted feeling thatās sat with her since that session. Since Roman more or less, and maybe she did, too, confirm that their marriage is over. A feeling she hasn't experienced since before he entered her life. Before he turned her existence into living. And just the thought of that living not including him in any sort of capacityā¦.it's something she can't bear.
She canāt. It's why her initial approach to the deeper reason as to why she reacted so strongly to learning of his stroke was traded in for another heavy truth that needed to be addressed. Upsetting to discuss, of course, but not nearly debilitating as that truth.
"I knowā¦" She closes her eyes, hand over his that's still on and hasn't left her face. Same with his intense stare and the presence of his body before her as they remain on the ground, unmoving and frozen in space and time. "I know you're upset with me, andāand that you don't want to see me, sā"
"Solana."
It's not like it's the first attempt he's made to speak in the midst of her verbal catharsis, but something about the pleading undertone of his deep voice penetrates through her dense wall of contrition, regret, and remorse. She blinks away the next set of tears, incapable of ignoring the wave of relief that stems from him looking at her, touching her even, in a way he hasn't in weeks. His regard and disposition towards her, as well as hers towards him, have been nothing short of frigid. But the warmth felt from his touch, seen in his face, and heard in his voice almost instantly melts away the icebergs that formed perimeters around her heart.
And perhaps maybe his.
One hand dips to her waist as Solana realizes at some point in the midst of her sentiment fueled soliloquy, he'd angled them so that her body was facing his. The press of his fingers into her skin as he gently tugged her close made something thud in her chest. A precursor for what would follow following his next statement.
His eyes narrow, gleaming with intensity and adoration she hadn't realized she'd been craving and yearning for so deeply. The absence of his affection has been a sort of torture she hadn't realized she was gradually succumbing to in the midst of their impasse. "All I see is you." Her lips part as a shaky exhale is lost in the midst of her anguish and relief at words that carry more weight than anyone outside of herself and the man in front of her could ever know or understand. "You said you can't lose me, right?" The faintest, smallest hint of a smile weighed down by reciprocated sentiment is preceded by the way he shakes his head in a small, subtle motion. "Well, that makes two of us, cause I canāt be without you, either.ā
The combination of the words, the emotions, and the echoing of her own vulnerable confession, is what forces the next wave to the surface. And Solana will never deny that there's a continued theme of selfishness as she throws her body against his, allowing him to hold and cradle the back of her head as she sobs into his chest. Recognizes that there's certainly some level of relief he also feels at this devastating rough patch of theirs finding some sort of path to resolution in comparison to the alternative that was dangerously close to being the final decision. But it, if she had to guess, doesn't outweigh what weight is pulled from off her as he once again reiterates his love for her.
"Tellātell meā" she hiccups, grasping at his shirt once more. "Tell me what to do to fix this. I'll doāI'll do anything, Roman. Justā¦.just tell me what you need me to do." And she means it. Whatever frustration and anger still lingers towards his concealment of the stroke is heavily outweighed by her desire to heal. To fix.
Whatever it takes.
"We need to get away," he finally answers and pulls back to look down at her. She continues to hold onto his shirt, as if release means releasing him as well. Never. Roman lifts his hand to stroke the top of her head. "This weekend. Leya and Rashad can watch Aubrey and Tavita." Solana nods, her willingness to blindly accept not even allowing her to consider who would watch their youngest set of kids. But of course, Roman is already several steps ahead. He's always been the one to plan and arrange so she doesn't have to. Always done everything he can to make her life as easy as possible.
But ease doesn't exist in her world without him.
She can't imagine a world without him.
"And we'll talk," he continues. Her eyes flutter shut once more when he lies his forehead against hers, minty breath fanning her face. "Okay?"
In perhaps most settings, the promise to "talk" would ignite a massive wave of anxiety. But for Solana, it's exactly what she needs to hear. Exactly what they need to do. Should have done a long time ago. Such a simple but powerful necessity to maintain and sustain a marriage. A marriage she's not willing to give up on. She won't.
She can't.
Whatever it takes.
Nodding in acknowledgement, she can't stop herself from moving her arms around him, holding him as another round of tears accompany her heartfelt, "I love you."
Her eyes clench shut once more as he drops his hand to the small of her back, voice tight and thick. "I love you, too, Solana. I always have, and I always will."
Dry humping. Titty fucking. Thigh gap fucking, thigh riding. Mutual Masturbation. Solo Masturbation. Just making out without an escalation to sex. I will be bringing it.
Catch up here: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
Part 11
For four days, Cameron existed in a sterile vacuum. There was no television. No phone. The windows were reinforced glass that didn't open, offering a silent, mocking view of a city that was entirely out of reach. Her only company was the rhythmic, hollow hum of the HVAC system and the shadows of the armed enforcers standing on the other side of the door.
She didn't know if Tama had survived.
Then the heavy electronic lock disengaged with a sharp clack.
Cameron turned from the window. It wasn't the silent, rotating guard bringing her food. It was Loa.
He didn't look like a man in mourning. He was dressed in an impeccably tailored charcoal suit, his posture completely devoid of the deferential slouch he used to carry around his brother. He stepped into the room, the door clicking shut behind him, sealing them in.
"Four days," Loa murmured, his dark eyes scanning the pristine Penthouse and the dark circles under Cameron's eyes. He walked slowly toward the center of the room, his hands casually tucked into his pockets. "You look exhausted, Cameron. The isolation doesn't suit you."
Cameron crossed her arms over her chest, keeping her distance. "Where is Tama?"
A slow, chilling smile spread across Loaās face. It wasn't a smile of comfort; it was the look of a predator staring at a trapped bird.
"My brother was a brilliant tactician," Loa said, his voice a smooth, dangerous drawl as he paced toward her. "I have to admit, I didn't see the decoy coming. Didnāt think you two were smart enough to figure out what was going on. The Italians hit Route 4 exactly as expected. They shredded the center SUV with armor-piercing rounds.
Cameronās heart slammed against her ribs, a cold sweat breaking out across her skin. He knows.
"He left you entirely off the board," Loa continued, his tone darkening with a flicker of genuine irritation. "He sent his men into a slaughterhouse just to keep you breathing."
The smile vanished, replaced by a cold, hollow gravity that sucked the air out of the room. "It was a bloodbath. The Italians were wiped out. But the thing about chaos, Cameron⦠is that no one can control it once the fire starts."
Loa stopped mid-stride, and for a brief second Cameron thought he might hit her, he had that particular stillness, that loaded pause before violence, but instead, his hand slipped inside his suit jacket. There was a moment of deliberate, theatrical slowness as he withdrew something small and heavy, encased in a knuckled fist, and then took two precise steps toward her. He set the object on the glass-topped table beside her, making a sound that was far louder than its weight should have permitted, a blunt metallic thunk that reverberated up her feet and spine.
Cameron looked down.
The ring cast a distorted gold reflection against the glass, warped and molten at its edges. It was Tamaās ring, unmistakable, her eyes found the crest of the Tongan Syndicate, which sheād once traced absently with her thumb in a moment of idiotic tenderness. Now the signet was blackened, carbonized at one edge, smeared with a tar-like residue that she realized, with a lurch of nausea, was blood. The metal itself was warped by what must have been near-apocalyptic heat, and a fine crack worked through the crest, splitting the family insignia down the center.
She reached for it, not because she wanted to, but because her body acted on some primal script. The ring was still warm. She recoiled at the sensation, feeling as if sheād been bitten, but her traitor hand wouldnāt let go. It pressed into her palm with uncanny gravity, as if the mass of the dead were embedded within.
The room shrank. Her peripheral vision went white at the edges, then gray, and then the color drained from the world. All the air in her lungs was forced out, not by a scream but by the sudden, impossible weight on her chest. There was the ringing in her ears, metallic and high, like the shrill edge of a fire alarm, and layered beneath it the memory-ghost of Tamaās voice.
She tried to speak, but her tongue was fixed to the roof of her mouth. She wanted to hurl the ring at Loaās face, but she couldnāt unclench her fist, not even as her nails dug so deep into her palm that she felt the skin break.
Loa stepped back, hands raised in a pantomime of respect for her grief. But the look on his face was not one of sympathy, it was fascination. Scientific, cold-blooded, like a surgeon watching a patientās last reflexes before the cessation of life.
āAn explosive triggered in the lead vehicle,ā Loa said, his voice dropping to a somber register that felt completely, terrifyingly rehearsed. āThere isnāt enough left of my brother to put in a coffin. Just ash. And that.ā
Cameron couldn't breathe. Her legs gave way, her knees hitting the floor with a sharp crack as she grabbed the edge of the chair. She stared at the charred ring, her vision blurring.
To Loa, her collapse was the beautiful, tragic breaking of his brother's favorite toy. He stepped closer, looking down at her trembling frame.
"The family is in mourning," Loa whispered, crouching down so he was eye-level with her, his dark eyes gleaming with absolute triumph. "But a syndicate cannot survive without a King. And the new King needs to consolidate what belongs to the crown."
His hand reached for her; she tried to twist away, but his fingers caught her chin. He forced her to look at him, his thumb digging into her jaw. The pressure was just shy of pain, but it was enough to make her flinch, enough to remind her that, in this room, she had as much agency as a specimen pinned to a dissecting tray.
āYou will attend the funeral,ā Loa said, his voice an icepick. āThe elders will expect it, and so will the rest of the family. And you will keep your composure.ā He stared into her red-rimmed, glassy eyes as though he could reach behind them and flip the switch on her grief. āThe world will be watching. Your performance is crucial.ā
Cameron tried to wrench her chin free, but his grip tightened. For a split second, something feral flashed across his face, an old, unprocessed resentment, maybe, or just the thrill of domination. She realized then that her tears werenāt just evidence of her helplessness; they were a form of currency, and Loa was counting every one.
āDo you understand?ā he asked, the words almost gentle, but when she didnāt respond immediately, his free hand closed over her fist, the one clutching the ruined ring. He pried her fingers apart with slow, deliberate force. She bit back a whimper as the ring left a burning imprint across her broken palm.
āI asked if you understand,ā he repeated, and this time the grip on her chin made her teeth clack together.
She managed a nod, hating herself for it. The urge to spit at him so strong it almost drowned out the nausea. But she swallowed it. She had to.
He released her with a flick of disgust, then stood, straightening the cuffs of his suit as if nothing had transpired. He looked down at her, the dead ring glinting on the glass tabletop, a relic and a warning.
āYou will be there,ā Loa said, his tone final. āItās time the family sees that transition is not the same as chaos. Your presence will reassure them. And you will never, ever forget who you serve now.ā
āāā
The funeral was a study in monochromatic violence. Under a gray sky the Tongan Syndicate gathered to bury their Leader.
Cameron stood beside Loa, her hand resting like a dead weight on his arm. She wore the black silk wrap dress Loa had chosen for her, a mourning shroud that felt more like a brand of ownership. Behind her, the Elders sat in a semi-circle of heavy oak chairs, their faces etched like stone, watching the proceedings with eyes that had seen empires rise and fall.
The ceremony was brief and brutal. There was no body to lower into the earth, only a small, ornate urn containing the scorched remains recovered from the wreckage on Route 4. As the priest spoke of legacy and blood, Loa stood tall, his chin raised in a mimicry of the authority he hadn't yet earned.
He looked down at the charred signet ring resting atop the urn, his fingers twitching with the urge to claim it.
When the final prayer was whispered, the crowd began to disperse, leaving only the inner circle and the Elders. Loa turned toward the head of the council, a man named Viliami whose white hair contrasted sharply with the black ink spanning his throat.
"The transition is complete," Loa said, his voice carrying across the silent graveyard with a new, chilling confidence. "My brother is at peace. The Syndicate needs a steady hand to guide it through the aftermath."
Viliami didn't stand. He simply looked at Loa, then shifted his gaze to Cameron, who remained frozen in her role as the grieving captive.
"A steady hand," Viliami repeated. "Is that what you call it, Loa? When you feed your own blood to the wolves to pave a path to the throne?"
The silence that followed was deafening. Loaās posture didn't change, but the air around him seemed to sharpen. "I don't know what you're implying, Viliami. The Italians hit that convoy. My brother died protecting this family."
"The Italians did kill Tama," Viliami countered, his voice rising in power. "But we have lived long enough to know the difference between an ambush and a choreography. We spoke to the survivors of the Italian vanguard before they were⦠liquidated. They were quite clear about the coordinates they received. Coordinates that came from a burner phone traced back to you."
Loaās grip on Cameronās arm tightened instinctively, his fingers digging into her skin.
"You chose to murder your brother," Viliami continued, finally standing. The other Elders rose in unison behind him, a wall of ancient, unforgiving authority. "The blood of a leader is sacred. To spill it for ambition is the ultimate treason."
"You have no proof," Loa hissed, his hand dropping to the holster at his hip.
"We have the truth," Viliami said. He gestured to the enforcers standing perimeter. They didn't move to protect Loa; they stepped back, their barrels lowering toward the ground in a silent vote of no confidence. "You are stripped of your rank, Loa. You will join your brother in the dirt. The Syndicate belongs to the family, not to a fratricide."
Viliami stepped forward, his eyes softening as they landed on Cameron.
"And as for the woman," the Elder said, his voice firm. "She should have never been involved.ā He looked directly at Loa, a challenge in his gaze. "Release her. Now."
Loaās face was a mask of twitching fury. His plan, his throne, his prize, all of it was evaporating in the cold afternoon sky. He looked at Cameron, his fingers flexing as if he wanted to snap her neck right there in front of the urn.
But he saw the guns. He saw the cold, dead eyes of the men he thought he commanded.
With a flick of his wrist, he shoved her away. āTAKE THE BITCH!ā he roared, voice cracking. āSheās death incarnate. My brotherās blood soaks her hands, and now sheās ripped my birthright from me!ā
āDo not blame the girl for your short comings.ā One of the elders shouted.
Cameron reeled backward, ankle twisting as her heel sank into the sodden earth. She would have fallen if Viliami hadnāt seized her arm, yanking her behind the wall of Elders with such force her shoulder socket burned.
āYouāre free,ā Viliami hissed against her ear, his breath hot on her skin. āA car idles at the gates. Go nowārunābefore the beast breaks his chains. The Syndicate releases you, but fate rarely grants second chances.ā
āāā
The flight as a blur of exhaustion and lingering, phantom terror. Even after Viliami put her on the private jet telling the pilot to take her anywhere she desired. Cameronās heart hadn't stopped racing.
Logically, she knew the strategy. She had planned the strategy. But a terrifying, insidious voice in her head told what if something had gone wrong?
Then, the jetās wheels touched down on a private airstrip nestled between lush, emerald hills and the endless, glittering expanse of the Tasman Sea. Cameron stepped off the tarmac and onto the soft, sea-swept grass. She shielded her eyes from the glaring sun and squinted into the distance.
Two figures loomed larger as they approached her.
Tama and Kiko.
For a chaotic moment, a tempest of conflicting emotions churned inside her; relief battled with disbelief, guilt tangled with hope. She took a shaky breath. The ground beneath her felt uneven, as if she had just stepped out of a nightmare directly into this bright, untethered new reality.
"Cameron!" Kiko broke away from his father, arms wide open, utterly unimpressed by the weight of the world they had just escaped. Cameron's breath hitched, a half-sob tearing from her throat as she embraced him.
"You made it!" Kiko exclaimed, burying his face in her shoulder.
"I made it," she choked out, her voice trembling.
At first, she just stood there, uncomprehending, the sunās salt glare making phantom shapes out of the world. Then a shadow passed over her, blotting out the blue, and she heard her own name like a benediction.
Tama.
Not a photo, not a memory, not a ghost conjured by trauma or exhaustion, but Tama in the flesh, towering, solid, breathing. He wore no black, no tie, no armor. He wore shorts, of all things, and a linen shirt the color of sand, loose enough to catch the wind but tight across a chest that looked, if anything, broader and more alive than when sheād last seen him. His hair was unkempt, and his face was sunburned, creased with worry lines that had been shorn away by the sea air and sleep or just a reprieve from the worldās relentless demands. The paranoia, the simmering perpetual rage, it was gone. In its place, something open and painfully vulnerable.
He didnāt say a word. And for a moment she couldnāt move, couldnāt even breathe. Her mind was still back in that graveyard. She half-expected to see him bleed from invisible wounds. But he just looked at her, eyes as dark as the spaces between stars, and smiled.
It wasnāt the smile she remembered, the careful, weaponized one that was always aimed at someone else. This one was for her alone; shy, uncertain, almost boyish. It made her want to weep. Instead, she bit her lip so hard she tasted blood, and shook her head, unable to believe in resurrection.
A sound escaped her, something utterly feral. He reached for her and suddenly they collided, desperation overtaking all sense or decorum. She rammed her forehead against his shoulder, the impact bringing stars to her vision, and clung to him so tightly her joints ached from the strain.
Tamaās arms came around her, tentative for a second, then all at once like a dam breaking. He wrapped her up, every inch of her, an instinctive shelter against the worldās cruelty. His hands traced the line of her spine as if counting vertebrae, reassuring himself that nothing was missing, nothing broken. She felt the weight of his chin as he pressed it atop her head, the prickly brush of his beard against her scalp.
For a long time neither of them spoke. The only sound was the wind off the sea and the ragged, syncopated breathing that told her Tama was just as close to breaking as she was. There was so much to say, so much to explain and apologize for, but all of it was crowded out by the urgency of this impossible reunion.
When at last she summoned the courage to pull back, she found tears streaking her cheeks and his as well. His eyes were red, the whites rimmed with blood vessels, but when he looked at her he didnāt try to hide any of it. He was seeing her, all of her, in a way that was so raw and unfiltered it made her want to look away.
She didnāt.
Instead, she reached up and cupped his face, thumb tracing the angle of his jaw. She let her thumb rest there, a question mark. He answered it with a wry, self-deprecating smile, and a shrug.
āItās the real me,ā he said quietly, voice rough with emotion.
āThatās all I ever wanted,ā she replied, and surprised them both by meaning it.
Their foreheads touched, a fragile architecture of hope . He kissed her, not with the hunger of reunion but the careful reverence of someone who knew just how easily things could break.
Tama wrapped his arms around her again, burying his face in her dark hair. He let out a long, grounding exhale, a vibration she felt all the way to her bones. He was holding her like a man who had been holding his breath for a decade and was finally allowed to exhale.
"You're late," he murmured, his voice a low, gravelly rumble against her ear, thick with a profound, staggering relief.
"I had to attend a funeral," she whispered back, a wet laugh escaping her lips as she pulled back just enough to look at him. He turned his head, pressing a lingering, reverent kiss to her palm. He looked out over the sprawling green hills and the bright blue water, and then back down at the woman who had saved his life, his son, and his soul.
He pulled her into another hug and her mind drifted back to the car ride home from the lake.
Tama drove with a steady, lethal focus, his massive hands resting easily on the wheel. He had traded the bloodstained dress shirt for a dark, fitted thermal from his go-bag. He looked rested, but his armor was sliding back into place, locking down his features as the city skyline bled into view on the horizon.
Cameron sat beside him, watching the trees blur past. She had spent the last two hours running through every variable, every weakness, and every chart she had memorized in that clinic. She wasn't just surviving the syndicate anymore; she was dismantling it.
"You can't just walk into the estate and put a bullet in him," Cameron said. Her voice was calm, cutting cleanly through the low hum of the engine.
For the first hour on the road, theyād mapped out how to destroy Loa. But as Tama spoke, his voice steady, his words precise, Cameron caught the undercurrent. Something ancient and burning lived beneath his tactical calm. She recognized it immediately; this wasnāt strategy anymore. This was vengeance, the kind that demanded blood as payment for blood.
Tamaās eyes flicked to her, his jaw tightening. "He orchestrated the hit that killed Kalina and nearly put my son in the ground. He set up the robbery at the club. Iām not giving him a trial, Cameron."
"If you kill your own brother without giving the elders proof of his treason, youāll end up dead. You'll be a tyrant who snapped from grief," Cameron countered, turning in her seat to face him fully. "Half the men will turn on you. The Italians will sweep in and slaughter whoever is left. It'll be a bloodbath, and you'll never be able to walk away."
Tamaās grip on the steering wheel flexed. He didn't argue, because he knew she was right. "So what does the my Nurse prescribe?"
"A surgical extraction," Cameron said, her eyes flashing with a cold, terrifying brilliance that made Tama's breath catch. "Loa thinks heās playing chess while youāre playing checkers. He thinks you're blinded, and he thinks Iām a vulnerability. So, we let him believe he's right."
She leaned slightly across the center console, invading his space, her voice dropping into a low, conspiratorial register. "We set a trap. You announce to the inner circle that youāre moving me. Tell them that youāre transferring me to another safe house. But you leave a glaring hole in the transport detail."
Tamaās expression darkened, protective instincts leaping to the fore with a violence that startled even him. He snapped his head toward her, jaw set, the lines of his face hardening into something unyielding. In that moment, the car became a crucible, steel and glass barely restraining the current of his anger. āAbsolutely not,ā he said, voice cutting and raw. āI am not offering you up as bait. Not to the Italians, and not to him.ā
He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel, knuckles pale. Decades of hardwired vigilance rebelled at the very idea, his mind already filling in the blanks of the worst-case scenario; Cameronās body torn apart in a crossfire, the helpless ache of her gone. The vision was vivid, uncompromising. Heād never been able to stomach the thought of his own collateral damage, least of all when it came with her name attached.
He looked at her and saw the naked calculation in her eyes, terrifying but beautiful, the way she was capable of seeing the whole board even as it threatened to consume her. But beneath her intellect, he saw the fragile boundary she was willing to cross for him, for the mission, for them. It made him want to throttle her and kiss her at once.
āYou donāt get it,ā he spat, the words coming out sharper than he meant. āThey donāt leave witnesses, they donāt make mistakes, and if you so much as blink the wrong way theyāll hang you up in a warehouse for days before they kill you.ā The memories bristled up, ugly and persistent; the smell of bleach on concrete, the way fear could turn a grown manās voice into jelly. He had never forgiven himself for the ones he couldnāt save; he could not, would not, add her to that tally.
"I won't be in the transport," Cameron promised, resting her hand over his on the center console. The warmth of her touch grounded him. "We use a decoy. But we make sure Loaās is the one who 'accidentally' overhears the route. If Loa is the rat, he won't be able to resist. He'll feed the route to the Italians to clear me off the board and finally break you. And when the Italians move on the transportā¦"
"My loyal enforcers will be waiting in the dark," Tama finished, the lethal realization dawning on his face. His mind was rapidly catching up to the genius of her strategy. "We don't just catch the Italians. We catch Loa and the men coordinating with them. The elders see the treason with their own eyes."
"Exactly," Cameron nodded. "The men turn on Loa. The Italians are decimated in the ambush. And Loa is left with absolutely nothing."
Tama stared at the road ahead, a dark, dangerous smirk slowly curving the corner of his mouth. It was a look of pure, unadulterated awe. He turned his hand over, tangling his heavy fingers with hers, holding her grip tight.
"And after the board is clear?" he asked, his voice a low, gravelly rumble. "What then, sweetheart? I take the throne back and weāre right back where we started?"
"No," Cameron said softly, but with absolute finality. "Let them have the ashes. Once the Italians are broken, the syndicate will be scrambling for power. You canā¦fake your death."
For a split second, the world narrowed to the space between their joined hands and the electricity firing in Tamaās chest. He stared at her, stunned, as if she had detonated a charge in the car. He couldnāt remember the last time someone had outmaneuvered him, let alone a woman who, months ago, had been nothing but a prisioner in his home. Now she sat here, plotting escape routes and revolutions with a surgeonās precision, offering him the most impossible, beautiful out heād ever been given: oblivion.
He tried to imagine it; his own funeral, the murmured prayers, the tears of men whoād been ordered to kill for him and had never once questioned his hunger for survival. He pictured the council of elders, their lips pursed in suspicion, but ultimately conceding to the logic of his corpse. He pictured the syndicate spiraling, the blood debts erased, his son and the woman beside him vanished off the map. It was a fantasy so wild it made his chest ache with hope.
But it was Cameronās eyes that anchored him, steady, sentimental, already building the future from its fractured bones. She was offering him not just exile, but rebirth. It terrified him more than dying ever could.
He searched her face for any sign of hesitation. There was none to find. Instead, he saw the faintest flicker of hope, a blueprint of their freedom etched in the set of her jaw. Her hand pressed firmer into his, as if testing the boundaries of this new reality.
"Iāll attend your funeral to make it legit⦠Then Iāll get on a plane," Cameron continued, her thumb tracing the heavy pulse at his wrist. "We meet in New Zealand. We make sure Kiko is safe. And you let the Tongan Syndicate become a ghost story."
The silence returned to the car, but this time, it felt like freedom. Tama looked at the woman sitting beside him, a trauma nurse who had walked into a bloodbath, refused to break, and was now single-handedly charting his course out of hell. He brought her hand up to his mouth, pressing a fierce, lingering kiss to her knuckles.
"Consider it done," he swore.
Tamaās voice, when it broke the quiet, was gentle and absolute. āLetās go home,ā he said, and in those three words he summoned an entire future, unrecognizable to the one they had left behind. His thumb swept over her knuckles, a vow written in the smallest movements, and suddenly the rest of the world receded.
Cameron closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled, as if she could draw the promise into her lungs and make her body believe it. Home. A word that had never meant much to her, but now hovered ahead of them like a finishing line sheād never dreamed she could cross. For the first time in her life, the idea didnāt feel foreign or hollow. She saw instead the possibility of waking up again and again to this man who had once been her captor and was now the only person left on earth who knew her in all her sharpness.
She looked at Tama and saw the way his face softened around the edges when he watched her. A tiny, incredulous smile flickered on her lips, and she reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, bashful and newly shy. The city was a few miles off, but it was already blooming in the windshield, a glittering, sleepless expanse that awaited their last, impossible heist.
He squeezed her hand and glanced sidelong at her. āYouāre not scared?ā he asked, but it was less a question than a benediction, a last-minute offer to take it all back.
She shook her head. āOnly of losing you,ā she admitted, her voice so small it barely cleared the hum of the tires.
He let out a sound that was almost a laugh and turned back to the road, the mask heād worn for years finally slipping. She thought of all the graves theyād leave behind, the real ones and the metaphoric, and wondered if anyone could ever understand what it took for a monster to turn into a man.
āāā
Five years later:
Cameron squished her toes in the warm, powdery sand, letting the sensation root her firmly in the present. It was mid-morning in Hahei, and the sunlight poured syrup-thick over the cove, gilding every wave, every shell, every inch of skin bared to the breeze. The tide lapped hungrily at the shore as she watched Tama jog after their daughter, Suri, who screeched with joy and left comet tails of footprints behind her. Suriās black curls streamed in the salt air, her arms spread wide as if she could outrun the world.
In the months after the fall, after the elaborate funeral, the erased phone numbers, and the years of hiding, theyād learned how to exist like this; unremarkable, anonymous, a little bit sunburned. By now, Tama had shed the heaviness that used to armor his body; he looked almost lithe in board shorts, tanned and faintly ridiculous in mirrored sunglasses. Only the tattoos betrayed him, the lines and glyphs that mapped his history across shoulders, arms and thighs. He was a contradiction sheād never get tired of watching; especially like this, barefoot and unguarded, kneeling to let their daughter vault onto his back and shriek at imagined sharks.
Cameron leaned back in the lounge chair and let the memory of old violence dissolve in the haze. Suri did a victory lap, weaving between driftwood stumps and the dull gleam of paua shells, before doubling back and launching herself full-tilt at Tama. He caught her easily, arms closing around her in an automatic, gentle cage, and lifted her overhead as if she weighed nothing. Suriās laughter ricocheted down the beach, louder than the surf.
āSheās gonna out run me one day, babe.ā he said sitting down in the lounge chair next to her, Suri on his lap. Tamaās laughter rumbled through his chest as Suri squealed, her tiny hands gripping his shoulders. Her joy spilled into the air, bright and loud as she wriggled in his lap, her hands wrapped around his neck as she pressed a sticky, sand-encrusted kiss to his cheek. āI love you, Daddy!ā she declared, loud enough for the gulls to startle up from their driftwood perches.
Tama grinned, the sound catching him somewhere deep and old. āLove you too, baby girl,ā he replied, locking her in a gentle bear hug and closing his eyes, trying to memorize the exact pitch of her voice in this bright, impossible morning.
Suri pulled back, assessing him with the utter seriousness of an almost four-year-old. āDo you love Mommy too?ā she asked, her voice a curious mix of mischief and interrogation.
He looked at her, at the stubborn set of her jaw and the wild curl of her hair, and then over at Cameron, who sat smiling at the two of them. Suri was the product of both of them; equal parts savage and sweetness, a perfect fusion of old scars and new hope. The question floated there, weightless and yet heavy with meaning.
āI love Mommyā¦ā he paused, his throat tightening, the words suddenly much harder to say than he would have believed possible, āmore than all the stars in the sky⦠and thatās a lot.ā He set her down gently, brushing the sand from her calves, and watched her barrel away, giggling, toward the waterline. It was true. He loved Cameron in a way that had become central to his being, a kind of cellular rearrangement that no amount of violence or death could touch.
For a man who had grown up learning to expect little from the world and to surrender even less, the sensation caught Tama off guard. Happiness, or something perilously close to it, took him by surprise in small, accumulating moments; Suriās laughter as she skittered over the sand, the easy sprawl of sunlight on his bare arms, the simple warmth of Cameronās nearness. It was a feeling he never thought possible. Even now, years and oceans removed from the cold calculus of his old life, Tama sometimes woke in the dark hours before dawn and felt the distant echo of the man he used to be, the one who weighed every kindness against its cost. But the old instincts were softening, week by week, replaced by something both terrifying and tender; the urge to protect this fragile, sunlit peace at all costs.
He wondered sometimes, if he deserved it. If the blood on his hands could ever really be washed clean by the salt water and the slow, patient work of loving someone with his whole, unarmored self. It was a question he held close, never voicing it for fear of undoing the spell. Instead, he tried to find absolution in the small, stubborn rituals of their new life; the morning coffees he brewed for Cameron, the bedtime stories he spun for Suri, the daily, almost sacred practice of letting himself hope.
Every so often, when he caught Suriās profile in a certain slant of light or heard Cameronās voice at the edge of sleep, he had to remind himself that this was real. That he was allowed to have it. It wasnāt that he had forgotten the weight of his past, but the heaviness no longer defined every movement, every breath. In its place was a buoyancy, a sense of being lifted and carried by the people he loved and who, impossibly, loved him back. He could trace the contours of his own transformation in the effortless way he now smiled, or in how naturally Suri curled her hand into his, trusting him to hold her steady against the tide.
He turned to Cameron, the sunlight illuminating her features with a soft glow that felt sacred and surreal. She was so radiant that, for a brief moment, he forgot the weight of the past and the shadow of the world they had escaped.
āWho would have thought weād end up in a place like this?ā he said, his voice low and conspiratorial. He leaned into the moment, allowing the warmth of it to seep into his bones. Each laugh from Suri, each smile from Cameron, was a reminder of the life theyād forged.
Cameron set her gaze on the horizon, where the ocean met the sky in a seamless expanse of blue. āNot me, thatās for sure,ā she replied, her tone light but laced with an undercurrent of disbelief. āFive years ago, I would have thought this was a fever dream.ā
He reached across the narrow space between their chairs and splayed his broad, hand over her belly, the curve of it taut and ripe. The baby inside flinched at the sudden touch, kicking once against his palm. Tamaās touch lingered there, as if he could feel every secret cell dividing and multiplying, every ripple of the life theyād conjured together. āTwo babies,ā he said, shaking his head in disbelief and wonder, āand a son in collegeā¦ā His voice was reverent, almost a prayer, his thumb gently tracing circles as if to calm the small hurricane growing inside her. He tilted his head, a smile half-cocked, and looked down at the soft swellof her womb. āRemember when we thought we could barely manage one?ā he murmured, his tone a mix of awe and comic defeat.
Cameron rolled her eyes but didnāt resist when he pressed his ear to her belly, listening theatrically for the rush and tumble inside. She smoothed her hand through his curls, combing out the grains of sand. The sight of him like this, her reformed monster, listening for the flutter of a heartbeat still made her breath catch in her throat. She caught Suri watching them from the tide line, her mouth puckered in suspicion, arms akimbo in a perfect parody of her fatherās old swagger. Suriās gaze darted from Tama to her mother and to the belly, as if she was plotting exactly how much trouble she could cause for her soon-to-be sibling.
āOur son still being a pain in the ass?ā Cameron asked, her lips quirking.
Tama snorted. āHeās twenty two, of course he is. But heās doing good, babe. Really good. He called me just to argue about rugby stats and to tell me he was eating vegetables now. On purpose.ā
She laughed, feeling the air grow lighter. āMaybe thereās hope for him yet.ā He sat up and looked at her, his face suddenly open, vulnerable. āThereās hope for all of us, I think.ā
Suri had run back up the beach and hurled herself onto Cameronās lap, heedless of the baby bump threatening to unseat her. She grinned at them both, all teeth and sand and joy, and made a big show of hugging her mother tight. āIām gonna teach the baby to swim before Daddy does,ā she declared, as if it were an Olympic event sheād just qualified for.
Cameron met Tamaās eyes above their daughterās head, and the entire world felt suspended in that single, sunstruck moment. The future, for once, was unwritten and dazzlingly bright. He squeezed Cameronās hand, his thumb stroking the back of hers with unspoken gratitude. āYou saved my life,ā he said, the words so soft they nearly vanished in the crash of the surf, āI love you.ā
Cameron blinked against the sudden sting in her eyes, and the baby inside her rolled, impatient and wild, ready to be born into this fierce, strange, beautiful peace. She squeezed back, her fingers locking through his, and for the first time in either of their lives, they truly believed theyād made it home.
The End.
Thank you to everyone that stuck with this story!! I love you and appreciate you more than you know!
Are we the same person because this is one of my fav scenes ever!??!! I shouldnāt have watched this young because this type of man is IT FOR ME:DANGEROUS šāŗļøš
Make it with Jey Uso but Roman Reigns canāt know š«£š
i watched this way too young too! i like how gentle henry is with karen, asking her what happened in a soft voice. then he gets so violent in an instant, all to protect her. i honestly could see jey more in this situation, jimmy is such a sunshine lol.
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my dream as a fanfic writer is for one day, one of my fics to be someones comfort fic. like the fic that they reread when they don't feel good and want to be happy. i want my words to comfort someone one day