Riding The Waves

I’m ok now.

i swear to fuck im going to fucking kill myself and this time none of my ex’s friends can fucking stop me. i hate every single second im awake and i cant stand anyone or anything anymore. im going to do what i shouldve done 3 years ago. i fucking hate this stupid place. i cant even stand my own mom anymore. i just want it to all go away.

i want to carve out my body with a razor. ugly useless friendless fuck.

i want to bleed myself dry

I’m deleting tumblr. Im done with this shit. Don’t try to contact me on here because I won’t ever check this ever again.

This girl calls the police on me and has me sent to the hospital for days and when I come back and reach out to her she fucking blocks me are you fucking kidding me

I don’t know why I even bother getting up in the morning. Fuck this shit

I wish I was literally anyone else I hate being me

I never have or will amount to anything. I have no skills or talents, I’m a fucking waste

Im so fucking useless oh my god

I don’t want help that’s the last thing I want just let me suffer alone I’ve given up on trying to talk to people or having them help me it always ends up with me hurting them or vice versa

I want to die so fucking bad rn

I’m going to die eventually and there’s nothing more in life I want to experience, it’s just suffering so what’s the point

Even when I accomplish shit I work so hard on like essays and drawings I feel fucking awful afterwards. I work so hard only to still have thoughts of worthlessness and self harm. Why cant my brain just make the fucking happy chemical