like the moon needs the stars 💫

She sighs, the scene in front of her reminiscent of the past few times you had asked her to read over your work. “Don’t be dramatic, get up.”

You stood up straight again, her soft nod a quiet way of telling you to take a seat. Ever since you were young you’d wanted to become a writer, and luckily enough working as a Bartender for one of the city's most frequented exclusive bars had its perks. You met Shuhua around the first month of working there, having built a friendship ever since she ordered a dirty martini. She was the owner of one of the biggest Publishing companies, and was very willing to help accomplish your dream.

Only that took way more effort than you ever thought possible. Shuhua was very confident in your work, the only problem was that she thought you weren’t being authentic enough. It wasn’t like you weren’t trying to, it’s just that sometimes work dragged on and took most of your energy for the day, and by the time you met the deadline, your work came out rushed in areas.

“Y/N,” Shuhua starts, your voice ringing out and cutting her off before she could continue. 

“It’s the Amusement Park scene right? I was half asleep when I wrote it that morning and I should’ve read over it again before printing it out.” You spit out, words tangled together because unfortunately you were always one to grow chatty when nervous.

“That’s not the problem,” Shuhua answers flatly. Your brows furrow. “Chapter thirty two.”

You flushed red, of course you knew what part that was. Not exactly because of it being your own writing, you could forget your own name if it weren’t for your nametag, but because it was the scene you dreaded most when you went over the draft.

Smut scene, not exactly your forte.

“Y/N, I mean this with all uttermost respect, are you even trying?” She flips open the book onto the page in question. “He kisses me. Very nicely.” She reads the words you wrote aloud and you could feel yourself sinking into the seat with every next sentence.

“I mean seriously,” She tosses the book down once again, “Is there a reason your skills become equivalent to that of a six year old when you write a smut scene?”

“I’d be concerned if a six year old was writing that.”

“You know what I mean,” She sighs, “Look Y/N I mean this as a friend, but even more as a publisher, I know you can do better than this. The rest of the novel is proof of that.”

You smile at the compliment. That means she at least liked the majority of the story. 

“Wipe that smile off of your face,” You frown again. “Tell me, what’s the problem? You can’t exactly have a smut book without any of the smut.”

It wasn’t that you weren’t trying to write smut, it had been the best way to navigate the built up emotions from both characters who seemingly hated each other before that, it was necessary. You hadn’t taken into account just how lacking you were in that department until you sat at four am, your computer brightness at full.

“The problem might be me,” You confess. “It’s not like I have much experience to base anything off of.”

Shuhua sighs, “No, that’s not your fault, some men don’t exactly offer the best services when it comes to getting off.” She meant that. It had been the topic of the first conversation you both shared after about three dirty martinis.

“Guess it doesn’t help that the closest I've been to touching a man’s body in a year is brushing hands with the DreamCafe cashier the other day.”

Shuhua’s gaze is pitiful, “Y/N, are you serious?” You nod. “God this is going to end up published five years from now if we keep up this pace.”

You purse your lips, not exactly knowing how to respond. Your list of experiences was about the size of a quick shopping list, and it wasn’t like you were against the idea of sex either, you just were a bit too busy to just go around looking for the first attractive man in your area. Most of the guys around were ugly too, and if they weren’t then they were clients at your workplace, which meant it was a no-go. 

The last thing you needed was to bump into a one night stand asking for a shot of whiskey. Besides you’d been hit on enough at your job to know that most men were way too easy, and something about that just grossed you out. Your friend's eyes brighten, an idea taking place in her mind that forms into a smirk on her face.

“What?” You ask, looking around the room as if it wasn’t just the two of you in there.

“I say this with all of my heart,” she raises a brow, “if you want a good story, you have got to get laid.”

You chuckle nervously, standing up and wiping off your pants. “No thank you!”

“Nope Y/N I’m serious,” She raises her voice slightly, she always did this with other clients but when it was directed to you it was a bit scary.  “Consider it. It might get your creative juices flowing.”

“I don’t really want to think about any juices right now.”

Shuhua rolls her eyes, picking up your paper and reaching forward to pass it to you. “You have amazing skill Y/N, I am not at all doubtful of that, but I think that this could help you sort things out better. If you don’t want to of course you don’t have to, but if that’s the case then I’d consider publishing this without the smut scenes.”

You were barely out of the door when you began contemplating her suggestion. The smut scene was necessary. There was zero way that you were going to publish the book without it, it would feel like you gave up if you did. 

You groaned loudly, the stares from the workers occupying the same elevator going unfazed with how deep in thought you were. Maybe Shuhua was right? Maybe hooking up with someone would make things easier for you as a writer. You always get the best inspiration when you force yourself to explore new things.

The only issue now was who would be your pick? The last thing you needed was to join a dating app and end up meeting a serial killer, you saw that in a movie once. Time felt like a ticking bomb now. If you wanted this book done by the end of the year, you had to do something about your problem, and you had to do it immediately.

☆ 🎸☆

The subtle bed squeaks and giggles were something Jeno usually had zero problem sleeping through, after all for a good few years he was the main person causing those noises. Countless hookups and one night stands he brought back to the shared apartment that he thought didn’t matter much anyway because the other guys were just as loud as he was, except for Jisung and Mark, and because it’s not like any of the girls they saw were here to stay.

He was regretful now as he laid in bed, his pillow squeezed tight around his ears to try and tune out the rest of the world from outside his bedroom door. Now the problem was simple, he was growing a bit more frustrated the past weeks. The rise of Oblivion was still subtle, but he wasn’t a stranger to the city anymore. 

And most would assume that was the best part of their growing fame but really it was the opposite. Jeno never really got the whole Groupie thing, sure he tried it a few times but really revisiting the same face every night wasn’t his style. Usually because it ended up causing assumptions to be made. Like your balls deep in a girl four times out of a week and suddenly she thinks that means that she can stay over and make you dinner, or call you baby and make arrangements to introduce you to her friends.

Jeno shuddered, the memory of Lia making him cringe. He had been in a dry spell ever since. It wasn’t so bad at first, Jeno was an introvert by nature so unless he was tagging along with Donghyuck and Jaemin at their club escapes he was pretty content staying home and hoping on league. But lately he felt like he was really going to go insane, it didn’t help that every other night there were enough sounds he was shocked there hadn’t been any noise complaints. 

Jaemin had suggested he just cave in, let the groupies run their course explaining that not all of them really searched for something more. Jeno declined. Jaemin wasn’t much of a convincing person when he had a stalker problem not even three months ago. 

But now as he hopes that the pillow on his face can cut off enough of the oxygen in his body to have him pass out for at least a couple of hours so he wouldn’t have to hear the monstrosities happening outside, he thinks maybe it would’ve been better if he did have a hookup he could meet up with right about now just to save his eardrums.

He decided for the next best option. Going on a walk and making his grand escape hopefully before the funny business got any louder. He shoved off the pillow, pulling up his phone to check the time. Right on schedule. 

Jeno tried to open and close the door quietly enough to make his presence unknown, but unfortunately the great squeak from the hinges had betrayed him. Causing both his friend, Jisung, and Jisung’s girlfriend to shoot up from where they sat very comfortably on one another on the couch, in a position that made Jeno wish his vision was worse than it already was.

“I- Jeno! When did you get here?” Jisung stuttered, his cheeks growing red by the second.

“Never left,” Jeno shrugged, “sup Darling.”

The girl only smiled tightly, refusing to meet his eyes after he’d caught the two in a compromising position. Jisung scowled, not a fan of how popular the nickname had become within the group of guys since he’s the one that created it in the first place. There was no use in arguing against it now though, not when their fans had already began to implement the nickname themselves. 

“Y’know if you’re going to fuck it would probably be better not to on the couch, it’s kind of a general rule.” One that Jeno could attest to never breaking.

“We weren’t going to–“ Jisung’s brows furrowed in annoyance? It was always so easy to tease the guy. He took a breath instead, ignoring the obvious bait. “It’s four pm, you do understand that right?”

“Yep,” Jeno starts, “Late night.”

Usually Late Night was code for a more rated R style of living. Now poor loser Jeno used the term for what were nights of binge watching Formula One Race highlights and an occasional jackoff session when he really couldn’t sleep. What? It was scientifically proven that release made for better sleep quality.

Darling chose to finally speak then, “Tomorrow you should post a picture or something, fans are wondering what their favorite drummer has been up to.”

He cringed, not too sure just how much fans would be interested in his new super boring lifestyle. “Yeah sure, i’ll get to that.” He could probably just take some pictures today while he’s out running to post for later. “Everyone else out?”

Jisung nods, his attention on the TV as he scrolls through what shows and movies were suggested. “I think Mark went to go help his mom back home today and Jaemin tagged along.”

“He’s not trying to get into Mark’s noonas pants anymore right?”

Jisung chuckles, “No, pretty sure she’s engaged now.”

In Jeno’s humble opinion as a twenty five year old, engagement at twenty six seemed pretty soon but to each their own. No seriously, because his parents themselves were pretty adamant on him finding a potential girlfriend and or wife soon. 

He shakes off the thought, “Hyuck?”

“Who knows, the guy has been way too secretive lately for someone who loves to be in everyone else’s business.”

“You’re still mad he tried joining us on our first date?” Darling reached forward tugging on Jisung’s cheek, a smile on full display.

Jisung rolled his eyes, “Tried is an understatement, he literally sat at the table right next to us.”

Darling only cooed at him, the two becoming lost in their own little world of smiles and extreme public display of affection. Jeno held back a groan of annoyance, instead choosing peace. Since it was late that at least meant that he had time to stop by the bar, he was pretty sure you were scheduled to work today also so why not make things better by venting all of his problems with a couple of drinks in between.

“I’m going out,” He announced to nobody apparently since neither one of them spared him short of a glance. 

Apparently tonight was an exception to an empty club, what with being a Thursday. He’d made an entrance and beelined directly to the bar, which was a bit busier than he usually found it.

You were busy serving up someone’s drink to notice him, a man who stared at you a bit longer than some may deem normal. It wasn’t long until you slid over a glass to the man, who took it with a small glint in his eye and offered up a piece of paper before whispering to you and walking away.

“What’s that about?” Jeno asked curiously, though he was sure he knew exactly what it was about.

You barely flinched, having already noticed his presence before he spoke. “Number,” You groaned before throwing it into the trash, “Why are all of these rich folks so greedy. I work for tips not for numbers.”

Jeno laughs, “Oh I'm sure he wanted to give you a tip alright.”

You deadpanned, already concocting his drink of choice, “You’re here early.”

“Couldn’t exactly get anything else done,” He smiled sweetly in thanks as you slid over the glass.

You giggled, knowing exactly what he was implying. “Donghyuck?”

“Worse, Jisung.” 

That got your attention, the shock in your face masked by your hand coming up to stop yourself from laughing. “Wait really?”

“Unfortunately,” Jeno sighs, “It seems he’s been getting more action than me nowadays.”

Your brows furrow, “Is Lee Jeno in a dry spell?”

“The worst kind,” He groaned, downing the rest of the drink with a quick chug. “I mean seriously, you know how tired my wrist is?”

You laugh, “Whatever happened with Lia?”

Jeno let out another sigh, “Didn’t last long at all. None of them do, at some point they think that they’ll get a little love story when I make it very clear from the start that i’m in no way looking for anything like that. Doesn’t help that because of Jisung and Darling, people assume the rest of us are looking for that.”

“Ah yes,” You slide over another serving you must’ve mixed while he started his rant. “Who would dare assume a twenty five year old wants to settle down.”

“I’m serious,” You chuckle, proceeding to make another person drink while he continues to rant. “It’s like no matter how up front I am about only wanting casual sex people expect to change my mind. It’s exhausting.”

“Tell me about it,” You sigh, “The persistence of some men around here really does give me the creeps. The other day I had to ask Heejin to walk me to my car cause this guy kept saying he would see me after my shift.”

Jeno frowns in concern, “You could’ve called me to pick you up.”

You shrug it off, “It was late anyway, and I had things to take care of.”

“Ah,” Jeno laughs, “You’re still working on that porno.”

“Will you shut up?” You look around frightened that anyone overheard him, lucky for you the crowd had died down.

“Have a drink with me?”

You raise a brow. “I’m on the clock.”

“Then after.” Jeno replies, taking another sip from his glass.

“I’m not drinking that fuck ass poison you sip on.”

He holds back a laugh, “You forget you’re the one who invented it.”

The memory springs to life, the first time you’d practiced mixing drinks for your bartender certification and Jeno being your willing subject. In his defense, he could handle his liquor quite a bit, and being young and broke meant that he’d take any ounce of free alcohol necessary.

You had mixed the worst kinds of alcohols together, whiskeys and tequila stirred into a concoction that somehow looked purple. Jeno had taken a careful sip, not before asking you just how safe it was, and though it must’ve been the most awful thing he’d ever tasted he couldn’t help but give you a shaky thumbs up. You’d been so excited to make your own recipe, and he was in no way going to burst your bubble.

It became his drink of choice since then, and despite the fact that you had tried it for the first time a year ago and realized just how disgusting it was, he continued to order it anyway. Maybe it grew on him, or maybe he just happened to succumb to Stockholm syndrome. Nevertheless, it was still his first choice.

“Yeah and i’ve since then improved, thank you very much,” You wring out a rag to clean up the table where some drunk had spilled a bit of his beer on the counter.

Jeno hums, “So then why don’t you prove it to me? Drinks later?”

You roll your eyes, never really able to say no to him. “If you can wait a couple of more hours.”

He nods, his eye smile mimicking that of a crescent moon. “Done.”

 ☆ 📚 ☆

Your shift went by quicker once Jeno had stopped by. Most of the drinks for the rest of the night were easy shots of whiskey that you served for the other customers besides him since you’d planned on drinking together. And it was nice, being able to make a bit of casual conversation in between working. It was always a relief when Jeno visited, even if that meant he teased you out loud a few times even in front of customers.

Luckily for him, you spared him a beating because he promised to buy your favorite. Somaek.

“I still remember when you would gag every time I ordered a beer,” Jeno jokes, poking at the last piece of fried chicken from the take out you guys had picked up before arriving at your own place. 

You laughed, louder than you had to because alcohol always had a way of making you giggle over any and everything. “I told you, when you mix Soju you can’t taste the gross beer flavor.”

Jeno hums, smiling at you as you devoured the chicken like it was the last meal on earth. His smile quickly vanished when he got a notification on his phone, the brightness only peeking for a second before he clicked his phone off.

“Who is it?”

“Lia,” Jeno groans, “she wants to know if i’d be down to meet up.” You hum, taking a last swig of your glass of somaek. “The worst part is if I were even slightly more tipsy, I think I would’ve caved in.

“You’re insane,” You laugh, the man only meeting your eyes with a look of desperation.

“Yeah unfortunately.”

You pause for a moment, your mind trying to fight against oversharing because when you were about two drinks in you got to that point. Ultimately you lost the internal battle. 

“I’m not having too good of luck in that department either,” You match Jeno’s energy with a sigh. “What makes it worse is that Shuhua says I gotta get laid cause it’s making my book bland.”

He coughs, “What?”

“Yeah,” You continue. “Don’t laugh but I've been really struggling writing a few of the more.. intense scenes. I’m really trying though, it’s just the idea of sex with a random stranger really is weirding me out. Then there’s the deadline, I wanted to have this done by the end of the year but Shuhua’s convinced that unless I get hands on inspiration then i’m totally fucked. Not literally but figuratively—“

“Wait wait wait,” Jeno interrupts you. “You’re telling me Shuhua told you to find somebody to fuck or kiss the book deal goodbye?”

“No? She said I could always just take out any sex scenes.”

Jeno snaps his fingers then, raising his glass to his lips. “But you’re perverted and refuse to.”

You frown, “I’m not perverted! Last I checked i’m not some freak who got hard on a carnival ride.” The memory of Disco pang pang was horrifying at the time it happened, now it was funny to look back on. Especially when you used it against him.

Jeno flushes red, “I told you to stop with that already! I wasn’t hard, it was my phone in my pocket.”

“Yeah sure thing neno,” You winked, pouring yourself another two to three ratio of soju and beer, Jeno’s hand subtly moving to help steady the glass as you poured the shot of soju into it.

“You’re irritating,” He rolled his eyes, though you could tell by the small smile tugging on the corner of his mouth that he was far from being angry at all. It’s just the way the two of you teased one another.

“And you,” you raise your glass like you were making a toast. “need to get laid.”

He lets out a dry chuckle, raising his own drink to clink yours. “Can’t argue with that.”

As you sip down the now room temperature beer, the bitter taste hardly effective since you were now tipsy enough you could hardly taste alcohol, an idea hit you straight on like a bus. You eyed the man in front of you, him being completely clueless to how you were observing him like he was a science experiment.

He was busy calling out meowy’s name with a few psst psst in between to get her to stop playing hard to get and let him pet her. By the time he set your cat onto his lap your mouth spoke before your brain could stop it.

“We should have sex!”

Jeno’s eyes widened tenfold, and because of how you’d forgotten to adjust your volume before speaking, meowy became startled and ran straight out of the living room space and into your bedroom.

His silence lasted long enough for you, despite the cloudy mind, to understand just how bizarre the suggestion was without any explanation. So you gave him just that. 

“Think about it neno,” The usage of the childish pet name in this topic of discussion caused you to slightly cringe. “You need to get laid because your brain refuses to function without direct stimulation to your– thing.” You emphasized the word by jerking your hand forward in the direction of his crotch. “And I need to get laid so I can get inspiration for my book!”

The man was too stunned to speak, his hands coming up to his face to rub at his eyes like this was a dream. Unfortunately for him, it was not. “You can’t be serious.” He finally speaks.

You nod, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know y/n maybe because i’m your best friend and I don't think we’ve ever seen each other in that way?”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes, “There’s no romance to this at all. Sure attraction plays a subtle part in this but it’s mostly about trust.” He sits still for a moment, pondering. 

“We don’t have to, it was just a suggestion.”

You say it as if the words that left your mouth weren’t just a ticking time bomb in Jeno’s poor mind. You took another swig of your drink, falling into the same ordinary rhythm the two of you had from earlier.

Jeno speaks up barely holding in a cough when he asks, “Trust?”

You nod again, “I don’t really want to just sleep with just any guy, most of them don’t even know how to please a woman let alone charm them. I need inspiration, not regrets.”

Jeno smiles at that, “So you’re saying I know how to please women?”

Instead of falling into his bait you offer a shrug, "I've heard word, why? You saying what I heard is wrong?”

He chuckles lightly ignoring your dig, “Not at all. Just taking precaution. Wouldn’t want you to end up like Lia.”

You suck your teeth in annoyance, “You wouldn’t have to worry about anything, it’s not like it would change anything.”

“Y/N,” He calls your name again. Only this time there’s no teasing, no mocking. “You do realize that sex can change a lot of things for some people.” He speaks honestly, most of it coming from experience of countless horror hookup stories you’d heard first hand time and time again. “I trust you a lot, and i’m not against the idea but I don’t want things to ever get weird for either of us,” Jeno sighs. “The last thing I want is to make things complicated.”

“Well then it’s a good thing that none of us are looking for anything more than sex.” You reply directly. “The best part is it shouldn’t be awkward at all, we know each other well enough.”

Jeno takes a moment, a deep breath of consideration while you’re busy swirling your glass around. 

“Okay,” He answers, your gaze falling over to him in an instant. “We can talk more about this later then, when you’re not drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.”

He hums, “How many fingers?” He asks as innocent as ever, contradictory to his middle finger standing straight and tall in your face.

“One,” You answer, shoving his hand away. “and you can shove it up your ass, asshole.”

He smirks, “According to our earlier conversation you’d probably prefer it up yours.”

“Motherfucker—“

“I’m serious though Y/N, we can talk more about this later.”

You frown. “Fine,” You stand up from where you sat on the floor, “then i’m going to bed.”

“Go ahead,” He says it like it’s his own house. “I’ll clean this up.”

“Sure,” You reply, stretching your arms and legs before heading for your bedroom. “Use the spare by the way, don’t go home this late.”

You were able to afford an apartment with a spare bedroom, one that Jeno often occupied. Especially these days with how many people were staying in the band’s shared apartment these days. 

“Yeah yeah, make sure not to sleep on your back, the last thing I want to wake up to is you dead from choking on your own vomit.”

“Don’t say things like that!” You shout in disgust, earning a laugh from him.

“Goodnight neno.”

“Night, Princess.”

☆ 🎸☆

Jeno always knew you were unpredictable, but this moment really took the cake. 

He had cleaned up your apartment, figuring that the more he kept his mind occupied the less he had to actually overthink the arrangement you had suggested.

On one hand, the message was clear. You both got along so well because of how similar the two of you viewed the world. Hookups were nothing more than a sense of relief for you both, so as much as he loved to tease, he knew that there really was nothing to worry about. The other hand was complicated because for some reason he began to over analyze everything. 

How would this work? Would the act itself be awkward? Would this ruin your friendship? Is this a one and done deal?

There were too many variables to consider, and Jeno wasn’t sure how this would go about if you weren’t just talking out of your drunk mind and really meant it. He took a deep breath as he stared into the mirror in your bathroom, setting down the toothbrush he had there because of course he had his own.

And as he laid in the spare bedroom, the subtle scent of your lavender sheets filling his brain, he chose to do what was either going to be the worst mistake in his life, or the best.

Really though, what was the worst thing that could happen? The both of you have sex and hate it?

“I stand by what I said,” You mumbled over the spoon in your mouth. “I think it could do us both good.”

Jeno had barely gotten the sentence out when you brought up the question again, this time over breakfast without any alcohol in your system to use as a cushion in case Jeno declined. Though Jeno wasn’t too sure you needed it anyway.

You were firm with your question, not in a way that made him feel like he had to agree but instead as if it was a simple request such as, What should we have for dinner? and not Do you want to have casual sex?

“You don’t have to agree with me, I can always figure out a solution to my own problems and I'm sure you’d have zero problems in that department either.” You added, looking over his arms that were pretty distracting. He was wearing a sleeveless tank top, the shirt of his he left with a pile of clothing, largely consisting of hoodies you had borrowed and forgot to give back, and clothes he kept at your place for the times he would stay over.

The issue was the opposite. Jeno has had many problems in that department lately.

“Okay,” Jeno begins, clearing his throat. You reacted with wide eyes. “Yeah sure why not?”

You smile happily, as if he’d surprised you with an all paid trip to the Bahamas or something. “Jeno, you have no idea how much this is going to help me!”

He frowns, surely you couldn’t be that inexperienced. The two of you had countless stories shared. You especially had a habit of rambling about. 

“Wait,” You hop out of your seat. “We need to make a list of rules!” Before Jeno can comment you’re already running to your room, returning slightly breathless with a pen and paper in hand. 

You set it down on the table slowly beginning to move the pen drawing line after line, your writing was surprisingly messy for someone who was an author. Jeno didn’t comment on it though, he doesn’t have time when you’re already pushing him further down the dining bench, scooting closer to him as you set down the paper that now reads. 

Rules for our arrangement.

“What’s this?” Jeno asks, earning a bored look from you that translates to, are you really asking?

“Rules, I think it’ll be best so we can note our boundaries before just hopping into things.” Your smile is tight but genuine, which only makes Jeno realize just how nervous you really are. You weren’t the type to show your fears, but you were always one to be cut and clear about anything else you felt. 

Jeno nods along, smiling softly in hopes that it’ll help you feel less awkward. “Okay, what do you have in mind?”

You smile widely, this time with full fledged confidence. “I’m glad you asked. So for starters, I think it’s best we start this arrangement with a few notes on what we are okay with and things we aren’t okay with.”

“Like?” Jeno asks before taking a sip of water out of his cup.

“Like, Anal!” Jeno chokes on the beverage, coughing repeatedly to regain composure. His scene doesn’t alarm you much, so you press further. “I don’t ever want anything up there.” You state flatly.

“Sure,” He nods, having cleared his throat and this time taking a sip to fully clear out his throat. “it’s not really my thing either.”

“Great.” You write down the first rule, Sex will only involve things the both of us are okay with. And in parenthesis: No Anal.

“Is there anything you wouldn’t want to do?” You question him. Jeno tries to think, it’s a bit harder to think about when you’re put on the spot. There’s nothing he’s too uncomfortable with that he wouldn’t just say in the moment, so he opts for the obvious answer.

“No Anal.”

You let out a laugh, “Great I guess we're both on the same page then.”

This felt almost ridiculous, but as long as you were happy he wasn’t going to question much. “Another thing, I need your permission to allow all of our uh– experiences to be used as inspiration for my novel.”

“I know Y/N trust me i’m cool with it.”

“Okay because the last thing i’d want is for you to be offended or upset if I write something you disagree with.”

Jeno shook his head, “Nothing to be ashamed of, I have quite the reputation i’ve upkept.”

You scowled, his cocky attitude baiting your reaction. “Okay, but don’t be offended when I make sure to add your size.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat? Because I can show you now if you’d like.” Jeno replies mockingly, reaching for his shorts.

You reach to stop his hand, “Let’s keep it in your pants at least a little while longer.” He shrugs, his arms folding around his waist as you write.

“Are there any rules you want to add?”

Jeno ponders for a moment. There wasn’t much he thought he could add with all seriousness. The situation itself was not very serious on his part, sleeping with a close friend all because he couldn't find a regular hookup who didn’t want dinner dates and eventual marriage? He felt pretty ridiculous, but since you had been the one to suggest it, it at least kept him from feeling like a weirdo. 

There was one thing he needed as a rule, something that would give him peace of mind going into this arrangement.

“We have to separate our sex life and our friendship.” He spoke after some time. You had met his eyes with a brow raised.

“I’m sure that’ll be a bit difficult considering we’re going to be friends who fuck.” You joke.

He lets out a small chuckle, before adding with complete sincerity. “I think it’s important that we keep both our sexual life and our friendship separate. There’s no reason to let any of it get mumbled and jumbled, that's why friends with benefits never work.”

“Right,” You breathe out. “So then you’d prefer?”

“I’d prefer that no matter what happens, things won’t ever change. No matter what. Even if we stop sleeping together, we need to remain friends.” 

It wasn’t just a request, what he wanted was a promise. One on paper that was needed in the rare case that everything went to shit. He wouldn’t be able to agree to it at all if that wasn’t agreed upon.

You met his eyes, a reassuring smile on your face. “Then if at any point any one of us want out,” You scribble down the rest in handwriting he could hardly understand. “or for any other reason, we talk to each other.”

The room was met with silence as you finished writing down everything, reading it over like it was one of the ten commandments until the two of you had it ingrained in your brains. 

The quietness only broke when Jeno laughed aloud after teasing you by moving his thumb away from the ink you had to stamp his fingerprint on the paper. All uneasiness or anxieties vanished just like that, the two of you rebooting back into your playful dynamic.

“There!” You exclaimed happily once Jeno gave in and allowed you to bring his red stamped finger onto the paper. 

Jeno hardly had time to admire you, his phone alarm going off reminding him of the Band’s practice today. He locked his phone, the blasting sound coming to a quick halt in an instant.

“I have to go now.” Jeno stood up from the seat, sliding across the floor easily even while you were still sitting. 

“Wait!” You stuttered, a blush reaching your face as all nervousness came back in full force. “Uh. When did you want to start? Y’know.. doing.. stuff.”

Jeno had to use every fiber of his being to resist making fun of you. “Whenever you want to.”

You nodded. “Then how about tomorrow? I don’t have work so we could maybe, I don't know, go out?”

Yeah, Jeno really had to use the last of his restraint. He chose to laugh instead, “You trying to ask me out on a date?”

You scowled, “I’m just trying to set the mood.”

“Yeah i’m not sure that’s how friends with benefits really works,” He says too casually for someone who has never been in that arrangement until now.

“Right.” You reply.

“Y/N,” he calls out. “You can just call whenever you want to.”

He hopes the implication is clear.

“Sure, you too.”

With the way you look at him he knows that you understood. There’s a quick goodbye before Jeno is out the door. He hopes the guys don’t mind his slight tardiness, though if he’s serious almost all of the group had a problem being late to practice.

He feels a bit of relief, the two of you having found solutions to your growing problems. Well, at least a bit of his growing problems, but it wasn’t something he’d like to dwell on at the moment. 

There wasn’t much anxiety, at least on his part, more so the awkwardness radiating off of you not knowing how to start but he was sure that the feeling would shrink with time. If he weren’t booked and busy with practice at the moment, he would’ve probably tried easing your embarrassment using a different method. That was mostly him thinking with his dick, which nobody could blame him for, it had been a pretty hard couple of months.

All in all, Jeno couldn’t feel more confident. It was a win-win situation, and since the both of you had agreed and talked everything over he was sure that nothing would go wrong.

☆ 📚 ☆

The moment Jeno had left your home, you let out a deep sigh. 

To be completely honest, you had woken up this morning pulling the hair from your head as memories flooded your mind. You weren’t even sure you had wanted to step out of your bedroom hearing the man lurk around the place from behind the door. 

You debated resting until he finally gave up and left, but the growl your tummy had let out at the smell of everything delicious wafting into your room had caused you to cave in.

On the bright side, as much as you were stupid and impulsive, he’d actually agreed. It saved you the embarrassment of being rejected, not to brag but that wasn’t something you were accustomed to experiencing. And now all of it was hitting you, at full force.

Friends with benefits.

You genuinely had zero clue just how that worked, did this mean that now at any time either one of you could just call on one another like a booty call? You let out a sigh, Meowy let out a meow in response, like she was asking where the man had gone.

You weren’t quite sure that you made the best decision, but only time would tell. For now you could feel ease creeping up your spine, this would solve one problem for now and in the worst case scenario, it would probably end in bad sex. 

It was a chance you were more than willing to make.

There was nothing that could’ve mentally prepared you for heading into this type of arrangement. And no it wasn’t the friendship thing, it was not knowing just how to jump start into sex without looking insane.

The two of you sat in your living room, barely any distance between the two of you where you lay on the floor, watching the TV. Which was ironically out of the norm when the two of you were usually cuddling during your movie marathons. Everything felt off, even the movie playing on the TV that truthfully you randomly picked and now realized was definitely not something you were rating higher than one star on Letterboxd later.

Meowy had made herself a bit too comfortable with Jeno. Lying on his lap like nothing mattered in the world more than his hands petting her. Ridiculously enough, you felt a short wave of envy, shoving that feeling down immediately because in what world would you be jealous of your cat for living carelessly.

You were sure it had been almost an hour of just sitting next to each other, not a single one of you moving a single bone in your body. You were pretty sure he was waiting for a signal, but every time you had the nerve to try, you shrank in on yourself in an instant, overthinking everything. It was like the moment had long passed, that was until the worst thing imaginable happened.

There were moans blaring out of the TV, the movie having shifted from its weird cultish horror vibe into a porno. Meowy wasn’t a fan of the shift in volume, hopping off of your friend and walking away into her cat bed. You cursed silently, of course your cat would leave you to fend for yourself.

The uncomfortable silence filled the room, safe for the excruciatingly long sex scene playing out in front of you that felt like it was mocking you. You were suddenly thankful the room was dim enough that your redness would go unseen.

“Are you trying to subliminally tell me something?” Jeno whispered, his voice too close to your ear that only made you blush harder.

You refused to meet his gaze, if you did then you’d lose the last of your dignity. For a moment you weren’t sure how to reply, deciding to use all of your strength to sound as confident as ever.  “If I was then would that finally get the ball rolling?”

He chuckled, his hand suddenly slipping around your waist. “Is that what you were waiting for?”

There were always times where the two of you would have a conversation and he’d allow his cocky nature to slip out. This time felt different though, it was like the room shifted with his tone.

“Yes.”

His eyes widened at your response, a slight falter from not having expected you to be so honest. “Then I'm sorry I kept you waiting.” He answers truthfully. His arms suddenly pull you closer to sit on his lap. The same arms that he left on full display with his sleeveless shirt, it really didn’t make things any easier for you. You’d been making subtle glances at them hoping he was into manhandling, which seems now you were right.

“How should I make it up to you?” He tilts your chin up with his fingers. Your faces are only inches apart. Damn he was good at this. You were aware of his game, you’d seen it play out many times in person. But why did it suddenly feel so different when it was directed at you? You suck in a breath, his thumb tracing the side of your stomach louder than the long forgotten movie playing behind you. 

“Y/N,” He calls your name. “We don’t have to do anything.” His voice is soft and reassuring, only adding fuel into the growing heat.

“I want to, it's just,” You frown, hoping you don’t sound ridiculous. “I don’t know how to start.”

He nods in understanding, his palm wrapping around your cheek. “Do you want me to lead?”

“Please.” 

You were sure you came off a bit more desperate than you meant to, but with the way his hips suddenly shifted just a fraction gave you the feeling he wasn’t complaining.

“Okay.” His voice is featherlight, you could feel his breath quicken as he closes the distance between you. “Then is this okay?” He asks, his thumb still tracing over your body, now fixated on the lower curve of your back.

You barely manage to nod before he’s connecting his mouth onto yours, a short peck to feel out the action before fully engaging. If any of your worries still existed they were certainly gone now, tuned out by the heavy beating of your heart. You leaned forward this time, your lips meeting this time with much less hesitation.

Jeno brought his right hand up to cup your face, his left hand around your waist, the grip firm to hold you in place. His teeth bite into your bottom lip, pulling a tiny gasp from you just to slide his tongue over the skin. You take that as a challenge, meeting him with your own eagerness and sliding your own tongue into his to deepen the kiss.

He groans, his hips shifting you into a more comfortable position on him. You’re not sure how many seconds pass like that. You slightly grind against him, the simple peck from earlier turned into a full on makeout session. Your hands fondling his arms to keep yourself from losing all of your balance as it grows heated. And just as your chest begins to tighten with every breath of yours being stolen by him, he pulls away.

You take in a deep breath trying to steady yourself, his eyes meeting yours with a question. One that you already have an answer to.

“Bedroom.”

The word comes out rushed and whiny, earning a low chuckle from him before he lifts you up with him. You had of course made out with people before, most of that happening in your early college years but this time was different. Jeno had taken your breath away but with that all motor function too, you noticed it now as your feet felt way too light.

He must’ve picked up on it, instead lifting you into his arms like you weighed equivalent to a pillow to him, and heading straight towards your bedroom. “Neno–“ You squeaked out, caught off guard by his sudden action. You couldn’t see his face from how he was carrying you over his shoulder but you were sure he was giving his signature samoyed smile.

You were proved right a moment later as he steadily set you down onto your bed. “Tell me, Princess, just how many book drafts of yours played out like this?”

Your cheeks reddened, he was spot on with the question. Male lead plopping the Main Character onto the bed before pounding into her with zero warning. The only thing that was missing was the use of his belt as a restraint for the main character’s hands. As much as that sounded interesting though, it was a little too early to hop into something as complex as that. So for the meantime, this would do.

It must’ve been a rhetorical question, since he doesn’t give you time to answer before he's lifting your shirt up and off your body. You pull him in for another kiss, all tongue and teeth, your patience growing thin with every second building up. You let out a happy sound, one that he drinks up, one hand sliding against your back to unclasp your bra in a quick second.

You push him back, noting the messy hair and the way his chest is practically begging for air. “You are way too good at that.”

“What can I say, i’ve had some practice.” He replies, meeting your mouth for a deep but short kiss compared to the ones before. You get the memo and start removing your own bra, discarding it onto the floor. But as a simple minded woman who believes in equality, and seriously loves a nice chest even on a man, you lift his shirt up all the same, meeting your own pair of fabric somewhere you couldn’t care less about.

He detaches from your lips, his mouth leaving kisses around your neck before slowly making it down to your breasts. “Fuck, you’re just as beautiful as I imagined.”

“Have you imagined me in this position on multiple occasions?” You tease, not expecting an answer.

“Only since I had to leave you to go practice when we signed our lives away.”

“That was only a day ago.”

“Really? It felt way longer than that.” Your words catch in your throat with how close his breath is over your sensitive nipple, every nerve in your body on standby waiting for him to do something. Lucky you, he doesn’t leave you waiting any longer. His mouth connecting around your chest and sucking harsh enough to make you moan.

The pleasure is foreign to you, the only experience you had being your own hands pinching against your chest whenever you seeked pleasure by yourself. Other men had usually disregarded that part of your body at all, unless of course they used it to their own benefit, squeezing onto your chest as if it were their own personal stressball. With every lick to your nub it sent a jolt to your body, growing hotter. 

You could barely keep your eyes open now, focusing all of your attention on keeping the noise down because it wasn’t like you owned the house, it was rented. Jeno’s hand snakes down again, this time sliding through the elastic waistband of your shorts, tracing the thin fabric of your panties slick with your arousal.

“Neno please,” You whine, your hips growing weak even to the slightest touch of his fingers against you, subconsciously trying to grind down on his hands.

He detaches from your lips, his gaze hazy while he meets yours. You can already feel the ache on your chest from the littered bruises he’s left forming. Jeno must be growing impatient too, because he’s pulling down your shorts at your plea in record breaking time. 

“Lube?”

“The bottom drawer to the right.”

The loss of his touch feels like an eternity of hell until he’s back again. Your cunt clenching against nothing as his hand pushes your legs further apart. You have to give yourself a moment to calm your nerves, the sound of the bottle opening signaling them to come back at full force.

“Fuck baby,” Jeno starts. “We might not even need that much with how wet you are for me.”

As cocky as he sounds, it only fuels your fire. Fuck Jeno for living up to his expectations without even having fucked you yet. You already felt stupid enough.

He slides a finger through the lace fabric, shoving it to the side as his middle finger pushes through your folds, the bed talk stalling you for long enough to warm the lube he’d gathered onto his fingers. It worked well, your cunt squeezing around his finger from where he curled it up. His fingers were much thicker than yours, a feeling you hadn’t felt in quite a while because you’d been the one prepping yourself most of the time.

“Another one please,” You breathe out. His ringer finger pushes in next, filling you up more and causing another moan to push past your lips. 

“You’re so tight,” He mutters, his eyes zoned in on the way your cunt sucks in his fingers. His hand is moving on its own then, dragging slowly out of you before pushing in with more force. You let out another whine, your thighs threatening to shut on instinct to which he pinches them.

You wince, caught off guard by the sudden sharp pain as he smoothes his finger over the spot. “Keep them open, be a good girl and do that for me.”

The nickname does something to you, call it a hidden praise kink you hadn’t even realized you had until now. Jeno’s fingers are moving with much more pace now, not enough to completely satisfy you but enough to have you seconds from begging for more. His mouth clashes against yours again, swallowing every low noise you make as his fingers scissor you apart, and when he finally adds the third finger you feel seconds away from snapping. 

You accidentally bite down on his lip, a warm metallic taste meeting your mouth that you can’t help but to taste more of. Jeno has no issue with this, the thrust of his fingers getting more urgent than before, his tongue begging to taste more of his own blood mixed with the sugary taste you have from snacking on artificially flavored gummies.

“Fu–nghh— neno”

You’re close, and all it takes is one sharp thrust of his fingers curling right into the spot you needed him most to have you finishing. Your eyes rolling back with the very welcome feeling of your orgasm washing over you.

His fingers continue to move, dragging out your pleasure for as long as he could until you're wincing from the overstimulation to which he removed them, your cunt suddenly far too empty. You feel like your soul has been knocked out of your body, taking a few deep breaths to gather the last of your energy.

“Are you okay?”

The chuckle slips out of your lips before you can even stop it. “Dude you just made me cum from your fingers alone and you’re asking that?”

Jeno looks around, confused on how that’s a shocking revelation. “Yes?”

You sigh, “I’m okay, just need a moment.” You open your eyes, his large frame still holding your thighs apart in between you. You probably shouldn’t laugh at a moment like this, but he really looks just like an obedient puppy waiting for your next move. 

He catches the smile on your face, his expression growing confused. “What?”

“Nothing, you just look really cute right now.”

He frowns, “Aren’t I supposed to look hot and sexy and so unresistable you can’t help but climb onto me?”

You shrug, “sure you look all of those things too.” 

His frown deepens, he cups your hands with his own, holding them on either side of you, Not rough at all, if you wanted to you could move him off of you, but a part of you really liked the illusion of him pinning you down. Perhaps another time he’d really use all of his strength, now that idea sent another wave of arousal in between your legs.

Jeno catches on quickly, how can he not with the way you’re squirming around. “You like being manhandled?” 

You don’t answer. You trace over his body instead, eyeing the very prominent bulge in his pants. Since your legs were free now you bring up your knee, rubbing it ever so slightly against him. He shutters at the contact.

“Neno,” You whisper his name like it was a prayer. “I think i’m ready for the next round.”

He lets out a short laugh, though there’s hardly any humor in his tone whatsoever. You take note of his ears, the faint pink from how badly he must’ve been holding back. If you were reading him correctly, that meant he was probably too close to snapping. You were thankful he was focused on your knee rubbing against him, cause if he saw your expression now it would’ve given yourself away.

He lets go of where he had your hands, giving you the opportunity to wrap them around him and feel up his muscles you’d been way too distracted earlier to fully admire. 

“Fuck–“ He groans. The sound like music to your ears and further encouraging you to touch him. He pulls his shorts down slightly, revealing the waistband of his boxers, the print of his dick making your mouth water.

You’re already reaching forward, cupping him firmly. A wince sounding from his lips. “Can I?”

He nods. You hook down the fabric, his thick and needy cock slapping against him fully erect and flushed against him. You pump him twice, using your other hand to reach for the condom he’d grabbed earlier when he got the bottle of lube.

There was no going back after this, you did realize that as you rolled the condom down onto him. “You’re sure about this?” He asked one last time, his breathing heavy waiting for your answer to finally cave in.

“Never been more sure.” Within the next second you feel the stretch as he pushes into you, your cunt squeezing his thick girth inches at a time until your hips meet his own. He gives you enough time to adjust, kissing down the side of your shoulder to help calm your nerves.

It’s far from your first time, but this was nothing like any of the men you’d had before. His size fills you up in all of the ways you’d only thought possible in some kind of fairy tale.

The sound of your name being called makes you open your eyes that you hadn’t even realized were shut. You clench around him unintentionally, pulling a groan from his throat that only feeds your confidence. You could tell based off of how his arms tightened their hold around you, how wrecked he was. 

“You can move.”

He wastes no time, setting a slow pace that somehow drives him directly to your sweet spot. He’s way less quieter than you’d assumed he’d be in bed, his noises low yet heavy, matching your moans as he continues to thrust inside you.

It doesn’t take long for you to feel your orgasm approaching once more. And with how patient he’d been, it was like a prayer had been answered. 

“Neno I- I’m—“

“I know baby me too,”

With an embarrassing amount of thrusts the two of you came undone together. His mouth landing on yours to capture the last of your screams as your pussy clenched around him with your release, triggering him to finish into the condom.

After a quick moment of the two of you registering everything, you can’t help but laugh, Jeno's wounded expression only causing you to laugh more. 

“I’m sorry it’s just,” You catch your breath, stopping yourself from looking any more insane than you probably did now. “Fuck, those girls were really not lying.” His head tilted in confusion. “You really are big.”

He laughs then, "That's really nice and all but if you keep saying things like that I might have another problem.” He replies, referring to the fact that he’d just come once and was not quite ready for another round.

“What’s that saying? What’s one’s problem is another's solving?” You smirk.

He scoffs, pulling out of you with a swift action that makes you wince. “You could barely last one round, save it for next time.”

“Me?” You gasp. Jeno stands up already having discarded the condom in your trash. He’s reaching for his boxers from the ground to put on as some kind of shield. You were a bit disappointed, his size while soft was surprisingly just as impressive as it was when it was hard. “I came twice!”

He’s back then, a damp towel in his hand to clean around your sensitive thighs. “And you also scared the living shit out of me when you went limp after you came the second time.”

You roll your eyes, “Not my fault you fucked me dumb.”

He snorts, tossing the damp towel onto the ground as he lays back down beside you, pulling you close to his chest in what could be viewed to some as intimate, but to you two was normal behavior.

“Ew you’re gross and sweaty!” 

He hums, “So are you.”

You groan, “Release me you freak.”

“Aftercare is highly recommended after any heavy sex session, just lie with me for a bit, okay?”

“I’d argue it could’ve been heavier,” You mumble, succumbing to his hold around you.

“Next time,” His voice is light, leaving you with a strange sense of peace. You couldn’t help but stare now. With his eyes shut you could observe him closer than ever before. The soft lips of his that had been on you multiple different times tonight, red and bruised from the makeout session you had earlier. 

You squeeze an arm out of his hold, raising your fingers to trace over the small bite on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry I bit you.”

“Don’t be,” He sounded dazed, like he was seconds away from falling asleep. “If I had a problem then I would’ve stopped you.”

“Oh so you are a freak!” He hums, not denying it. “Oh my god you are, aren't you! No wonder those girls had zero plans on letting you go.”

He opens his eyes then, meeting you with a bored look. “I wouldn’t be talking if I were you, aren’t you the one who was seconds from coming just from me pinning you down?”

“What?” Your jaw drops. “That’s so untrue! This is defamation!”

He shuts his eyes again, seemingly ignoring your remarks yet keeping a smile on his face the entire time. 

“I could sue you! I’d take that drumset from you in a second.”

“Then would you take my job too?” He replies mockingly.

“Hey I could! The guys really happen to like me, you know I think if I talked it out with them we could work something out.”

He hums, “Then I guess i’d have to learn how to make some drinks and fill in for you?”

“I think bartender Jeno would suit you well.”

“Jeno? But what happened to Neno?” You regret even speaking to him instead of just playing dead after sex the second he brings up the nickname. 

You choose instead to turn your cheek to him with a pout. “You really love yourself some pillow talk.”

“I’m not the one who started it.”

“I wasn't pillow talking with you I was threatening you.” You retort. “You’re always so full of yourself you know not everyone is trying to bed you, right?”

He laughs, “Did I not just bed you?”

“Ah but that doesn’t count!” 

You’re both laughing then, every single ounce of regret fading away. You were silly to ever think that things could change between you two, and this was proof enough that sex didn’t necessarily mean everything would be different between the two of you. 

If you could flick off every movie and novel for overdoing the trope you would right now. Because as you laid next to Jeno you realized one thing, it would take more than just one hookup to erase the history you had both built together.

Part Two: 

Dare

☆ 🎸☆

Jeno was in no way secretive, but he also wasn’t the type to tell just everyone every single activity he found himself doing daily. He was quite the opposite to Donghyuck in that way. Where the lead singer acted as if he would die if he wasn’t in the loop twenty four seven, Jeno kept most things lowkey. 

But there was one issue with that.

“Late for the third practice in a row,” Donghyuck popped out of seemingly nowhere, trailing behind Jeno as he made his way over to the couch to set down his bag.

“Don’t know what you mean, Jisung isn’t here yet either.”

“Thats because the dude is probably getting his dick wet right now,” Jeno scowls at the idea, “You, have been getting zero action.”

“You don’t know what I do in my free time.”

“I know you’ve racked ten hours a day on valorant all last month,” Donghyuck hums, tilting his head like he had discovered groundbreaking information.

Jeno sighs. “You’ve been in my room.”

“I told you, your controller runs smoother than mine.”

“So then grab it and leave, why are you snooping?” Mark tunes in from where he’s standing, ironically enough, tuning his own guitar. 

“Because JenJen has been out way more than he usually is, and I know he’s not at any bars or clubs because I've been at all of them.”

“Ever considered he was avoiding you?” Jaemin smirks.

“Well no, that's unlike him.”

“I’m still here, y'know." Jeno shakes his head, nodding over at Mark in a quick apology. “Sorry, time went by quicker than I’d thought.”

It was the truth after all. He had made it very clear to you that he ran a tight schedule today, one that miraculously worked out in your favor considering how easy it was for Jeno to give into your whiny pleas. Especially when they were all he could hear with your hands in his hair roughly tugging as he ate you out slowly. It didn’t take long for you to finish on his tongue, it did however end with a quickie that lasted a bit longer than it should’ve.

“Don’t worry about it. Five minutes means nothing when you compare it to,” Mark checks his watch, the sound of the door twisting open. The creaky door revealed Jisung, who looked too sweaty for someone who drove himself here. “Ten.”

“I’m sorry I’m late I was—“

“Nobody wants to hear about your sex life.”

“I do.”

Jaemin winks at Jisung, the other frowning. Jeno would’ve laughed if it weren’t for the fact that if he made a single wrong move all attention would be directed to him. He moves away from the group slowly, hoping they’re too busy drilling the youngest to notice him slipping by. 

Unfortunately, that's not the case. “You alright man? I feel like the only times I ever see you is when we’re practicing.”

Jeno stops in his tracks, Mark standing before him with a slightly worried look on his face. Mark was a worrier. He didn’t like to make it very known, usually he played it off as just curiosity. But Mark always had the habit of playing with his fingers when he was concerned. 

“I’m great, actually just been spending more time with friends.” Jeno hopes the excuse is enough to let him escape, though if Jaemin was the one he said that to he would’ve been caught instantly.

“Oh,” Mark seems relieved, “Y/N? You should bring her over some time, or better yet bring her over to our set next weekend.”

“Yeah man I’ll let her know but I’m pretty sure she’s going to be busy.”

He knew you’d be busy, you mentioned that the night before, about how busy your work schedule was going to be and so there wouldn’t be much time in between to hang out. You had apologized profusely, to which he’d told you there was seriously no reason to. If he could last months without sex, he could last one week while he was out of town.

“Y/N! We haven't seen her in a while!” Jaemin joins the conversation, “How has she been?”

Mark is quick to give a short answer to him, one that Jeno is thankful for as he steps towards his place, drumsticks in hand. The other guys were still talking to each other, the conversation shifting to how Mark doesn’t appreciate them being late constantly. Jisung arguing about how he’s in more trouble when Donghyuck has shown up late to practice more times than Jisung. 

The guys were certainly not used to the rise of fame they’ve had, adjusting to a busier schedule and way more practice sessions than ever before. Jeno hadn’t even had time to check in with his family so much anymore because of how busy he was.

The reminder plagues his mind, making him reach for his phone to swipe through the family group chat that he hadn’t been catching up with for reasons that would only make him guilty. There wasn’t much to catch up on except for his cousin asking him for tickets to Oblivion’s show this weekend and another asking if he’s bringing Jaemin as his plus one to his sister’s wedding. That one he skipped past because Yeri had really been trying to make moves on Jaemin 

Shit. He had forgotten about how soon that was. He slid out of the chat, noticing a more recent text from his mother.

Mom: I hope you aren’t forgetting about the wedding. I ordered your suit for you and we still need to get it tailored. Stop by soon, I’ve seen my own son on my phone more than in person.

He shoots back a simple reply. He would make sure to visit her soon. More than likely after the show, since his hometown was only half an hour away. 

He hadn’t been home in a while, something he was regretting now that he realized it. He did love visiting his family, the problem was that as much as they supported him they, his mother mostly, couldn’t help but make subtle comments.

Like why wouldn’t he want his own place? She was willing to pay his rent so he didn’t have to share space with all of his roommates. Jeno declined on multiple occasions. As much as the guys were annoying, he didn’t mind their company.

Jeno grew up in a household different to the rest. His parents spent most of their time abroad, his father managing the family business and his mother spending most of her time performing in front of stadiums as a nation-known cellist. He did have his older sister, Seulgi, though she was busy with business school to eventually take on their family business.

He loved his family of course, and they loved him but being with the guys felt like he finally had brothers, annoying and kind of invasive, but brothers nonetheless.

“Okay enough screwing around, seriously.” Mark calls for the rest of them. The guys make their way to their positions, Jeno was about to set his phone down when he spots your message.

Princess: You busy tonight?

You had set your own nickname on his phone when you found out he had you as FN/LN, it stuck around since then. He smirks, typing in his reply. 

Neno: Why? 

You miss me already?

The chat bubble shows that you’re typing. He smiles to himself, awaiting your reply.

Princess: And other things…

I'm free at ten, you have a key.

He’s about to reply when Jaemin pops up from behind him, startling him into shutting his phone off. “Who are you texting?”

“Family.”

Jaemin scoffs, clearly not buying the excuse but choosing to ignore it. “Alright Vin Diesel.” He takes a few steps away, not before raising a brow like he was onto Jeno.

With what little time left before they start warming up Jeno sends a quick thumbs up, hoping that gets the message across clear enough. He can’t say he regrets any of the decisions made in the past few weeks, and if he could make an educated guess based off of how often you ran towards your laptop to write things down after sex, he was sure you felt the same.

He wouldn’t admit it to the guys, mostly because whatever he was up to wasn’t really their business, but also because he liked the sneaky vibe the two of you had going on. It wouldn’t last forever, that’s for sure. But could you blame him for not wanting his friends to ask question after question about you? 

If anything he was doing you two a favor, the guys would probably jump you with questions about Jeno that they would never be able to squeeze out of him. There was also the fear that if any of the guys started to catch on then he’d have to explain himself. They had already had a habit of teasing him whenever he mentioned spending nights at your place, even before this arrangement began.

Especially Jaemin who was always the hopeless romantic, reading into things too much. He always bugged Jeno with questions about you, ones like how nice you complimented each other, and how cute the babies would be if you wanted any. It was a problem that Jeno easily solved by setting boundaries, sure, yet still left him wary of telling his friend.

Jeno decided that it would be best to keep this from them, at least for as long as he could. It wasn’t so bad though, because on one hand while you got to tell your own friends, he kept it to himself. A secret that he cherished on his own, one that he could smile freely without anyone poking into what deeper meaning could be there.

☆ 📚 ☆

The last thing you expected was for you to be drunk out of your mind on a random Wednesday at six in the afternoon. It came as no shock that the reason came down to one single factor. Yuqi. The girl was known for her spontaneous trips all around the globe, so when she texted you to meet with her since she happened to be in town, you couldn’t decline.

So you had reluctantly canceled the plans from earlier with Jeno, one too many sorry texts and gifs until he finally called you to say it was really okay. Practice had gone on a bit longer than it usually was with their show coming up soon. And before you could offer another apology for not being able to go out and travel with him to see the band, he was already stressing that you need to worry less.

So that’s what you were doing now, relaxing with three empty soju bottles on the table to account for that. Yuqi sitting in front of you, picking at the samgyeopsal that you had eaten way too much of since she’d offered to pay. You couldn’t help the smile on your face, call it a buzzed daze or whatever but you felt good.

“Shuhua tells me you’ve been focused on writing,” Yuqi starts, “Says you’re trying to push yourself to release by the end of the year.”

You hum, batting your lashes to snap out of whatever daydreaming you’d been doing. “I’ve been pouring all of my hard work into it.”

Yuqi giggles, “Yeah, she said you’re not bad at all, just lack sex appeal.”

You gasp, “I’ll have you know that’s not true!”

She laughs louder, instigating just as she always did. “I’m kidding! She did say you were a bit stuck with the smut scenes.”

“Wow and I thought there was a non disclosure for book transcripts.” You joke, shoving a piece of the pork into your mouth. The sweet glaze being the first thing you taste as you bite into the meat, savoring the flavor like it was gourmet. You guessed that came with the buzz.

“Hey she said that I should talk to you about it, that I might offer good advice.”

“Cause you’re a sex fiend?”

She clicks her tongue, “Because I am an editor for one of the most recognized Magazine Journalism organizations in the world!” A few customers who happen to be dining in raise their eyebrows, giving you a look of disdain and annoyance. Yuqi bows her head slightly in apology before coughing and adjusting her volume, “And because I am a sex fiend, yes.”

“No need.” You reply, picking another piece of meat from the stove on the table. Yuqi frowns. To be honest, if she would’ve come around earlier offering you her own hook up stories than you probably would’ve taken that and used it for inspiration, but now you had your own experiences to use. Not that you had told anyone about that as of yet, so of course Yuqi was looking at you like you just turned down a million dollar check.

What Yuqi was offering was like a goldmine to early writers, ones who, like you, struggled with writer's block because of lack of inspiration. The only thing is, there wasn’t much left uninspired to you. Not when for the past few weeks since the first time you and Jeno had sex. If anything, you’d become quite the fiend yourself, texting him almost every day about perhaps trying something new. For research purposes of course.

“No need?” Yuqi spoke up, "Don't tell me you’ve replaced me with someone else. I didn’t even get to tell you about my trip to Thailand!”

She forgot that she did tell you about that trip, right as it was happening. She called you straight from the bedroom of some girl named Minnie that she’d met at a soirée where she downed way too many glasses of champagne to remember how she ended up in a different hotel room.

“Not replace you, just got some first hand experience.” You smile, refusing to meet her eyes as a warm smile makes its way on your face. She gasps loudly, having realized what the implications meant, the scattered people around shaking their heads at her volume.

“You found another fuck buddy?” She lowers her voice, leaning in closer to analyze any answer your body could tell her. Blame it on the alcohol and the dry mouth you get after a few too many shots, but you gulp. Her eyes widened once more. “Oh my god you did! Why wouldn’t you say anything?”

“Must I need to share everything?”

“Y/N,” She deadpans. “That’s like your main characteristic. Chronic oversharer?”

You open your mouth to reply but she cuts you off. “Don’t argue against it, it’s true! The first conversation we had was about how your childhood cat died and inspired you to become a Bartender.”

Rest in Peace Martini.

You shake your head, setting down your glass. “Alright, fine. Yeah I do, but it’s not like you think it is!” Yuqi tilts her head. “I mean that! You know i’m not really one to have a Fuck buddy.”

“Yet you do anyway?”

She was right, and your stubbornness hated that. “Only because it’s not just some rando!” This time, everyone’s eyes landed on you disapprovingly. You winced, quietly apologizing for your volume.

“Which is exactly why you kept it a secret in the first place, and why you refuse to tell me without sounding ominous, and also explains the fact that you look so tense right now because i’m putting all of the pieces together and— oh my god.” Yuqi pauses, “You’re fucking Lee Jeno.”

You almost spat out your drink, “How did you even guess that?”

“I had a hunch,” Her eyes trail down to your exposed shoulder, the sleeve of your shirt tugged lower than it was supposed to be. “Also I've only seen bites like that from one man.”

You weren’t sure if you should be concerned or jealous that she was familiar with his bite marks, not because the two of them had ever messed around but mostly because up until this moment you didn’t know she knew of his bedroom habits. You settled on fear. Yuqi’s guesses were never wrong. It was as scary as it was impressive. 

“Calm down tiger, I only know that because he used to hook up with my college roommate.”

For some strange reason that gives you a bit of relief. “I wasn’t going to say anything.” She stares at you for a bit, contemplating whether or not to argue with you, ultimately deciding not to.

“Fine, don’t say anything, just drink with me.”

You wouldn’t dare decline. Yuqi excuses herself, heading out to the bar to grab a few shots for a quick second. You’re left alone, scrolling through your phone and slowly thinking about Jeno. You think back to what Yuqi had mentioned earlier. Jeno’s fling with her roommate that you weren’t aware about. You can feel it again this time stronger, a pang in your chest that you refused to dwell over. Your attempts at ignoring fall flat because within the next second you slide into your recent chat with him, sending a text before your brain could decide otherwise.

Princess: What are you doing?

A few minutes pass with no reply until the notification comes in. It’s a picture of him in dim lighting, the only light coming in from what you assumed was his pc. He had headphones on, the mic barely covering his mouth. From the angle, you could see a bit of his clothing. A black tank top, that he apparently had multiple different versions of, his muscular arms on display. You bite your lip, saliva gathering in your mouth from how badly you needed that right now. The next message is short and simple.

Neno: On league w hyuck.

You feigned chalance, staring at the picture longer than you should’ve. Your eyes roam around the place, searching for your friend’s whereabouts before you could make a stupid decision. She’s nowhere, which meant one thing. Your finger is over the call button about to click when you hear someone come up, assuming it’s Yuqi you set your phone down. 

“Hey, are you lonely?”

A stranger you hadn’t noticed until now stood in front of you, the man clearly intoxicated with the way his speech was slurred. 

“Ah,” You look around for Yuqi, she’s nowhere in sight. “No not real—“

He doesn’t give any time for you to answer, sliding an empty chair way too close to you. From how close he is you can smell the alcohol off of him, even worse with the way he opens his mouth. “It’s not safe for your friend to just leave a pretty girl like you here.”

Your heartbeat rises, his words coming off way more threatening than friendly. You awkwardly laugh, hoping that you don’t at all look as scared as you feel right now. 

“Seriously, you’re fucking beautiful.” His arm reaches forward, holding onto your arm. “You got a boyfriend?”

“I–“ You stutter. Fuck. This was not at all how you were supposed to sound like. You’d experienced enough cat calls to know that the best choice in this situation is to walk away. For some reason though you couldn’t help but freeze up.

“Then how about you come with me tonight? I could show you a fun time.”

“How about you fuck off instead.” Yuqi appears out of nowhere, a deep frown on her face, the drinks in her hand coming down to slam against the table.

The man scoffs, looking more annoyed than frightened. “I don’t think someone like you should be talking like that.”

“And I don’t think someone in their thirties should have a receding hairline, but clearly I was wrong.”

He sneers, standing up from where he’s seated shortening the distance in between them. “Are you crazy?”

“Are you?” She starts, walking closer to him. In most scenarios you’d find your friend’s confrontational attitude inspiring, but right now all you could think about is just how drunk this man is, and just how many things could go wrong.

“Watch your fucking tone,” He stares down at Yuqi. “Bitch.”

You stand up then, trying to deescalate the situation without any hospital trips tonight. Yuqi opens her mouth about to start arguing back, the other people around doing nothing but sitting down in their seats. “Hey, there’s no need for any of this. I have a boyfriend, so if you don’t mind leaving—”

“What and I’m supposed to believe you?” He turns his attention to you. A group of men get up from their seats, quickly grabbing onto the man who you assume is their friend. They refuse to meet your eyes, instead trying to calm the guy down and take him back to where they were seated. 

“No fuck no I’m not leaving!” The man shoves his friend off of him. “These two bitches think they’re better than me or something.”

You hope he’s too drunk to notice the way you roll your eyes without thinking. As a bartender you’d seen many aggressive drunks, you knew better not to react spontaneously since they’d only take it as a challenge. You tried to keep your composure, instead turning your attention to Yuqi who had at some point during the dispute, grabbed onto her phone. 

You meet eyes with her, mouthing let’s go to her. She nods regretfully, holding back all of her anger on the tip of her tongue. You're about to step around him when he focuses on you. He grabs onto your wrist, “The fuck do you think you’re going?”

You pull your arm away, his grip not tight enough to scare you off. Okay, now you were seriously getting pissed off. “Dont fucking touch me.”

He lets out a deep chuckle, “Why? You seemed like that's all you wanted earlier.” 

Call it liquid courage but you felt a sudden surge of anger. All you wanted was good food, fun with a friend, and maybe a booty call at the end of the night not whatever bullshit this guy was on. You were off the clock for fuck’s sake. 

You're not even sure when it happens, just the direct aftermath. The man’s on the floor, blood dripping from his nose as you hold onto your hand. Your knuckles red from the contact to his face, more than likely going to leave a bruise. Yuqi’s eyes are wide, and you can tell she’s trying with all of her power to hold back laughing. 

The sorry guy is still on the floor, holding his nose and freaking out about the blood as his friends try to stop the bleeding and calm him down. You take that as a sign to leave, smiling and nodding at the crowd who are staring jaws slacked. Yuqi throws a quick few bills on the table before grabbing onto your non injured hand and dragging you outside of the restaurant. 

There she finally lets her expression change, her laughs filling the silent outside air. “Oh my fuck—“ She tries to catch her breath. “What the fuck when did you learn to punch like that?”

“I’m a girl who works as a bartender, it’s a safety measure.” You shrug, prompting her to laugh more. You fall into a fit of your own, her contagious cackling promoting you to join. The roads are hardly busy at all, a comforting fact to you when the two of you probably looked insane right now. 

She finally steadies her breaths, at the same time a car approaches the side of the road. One that you recognized as Jeno’s. He parks it, stepping outside of the vehicle and directly to the two of you. You suck in a breath, his hands coming to your face as he looks into your eyes with worry.

“What happened? Are you okay?” You open your mouth to respond when he cuts you off. His hand grabbing onto your tender one, the colors barely visible from where the bruises were forming. “Youre hurt.”

“You should’ve seen the other guy!” Yuqi jokes. 

Jeno’s eyes darkened. “Where the fuck is he.”

“Neno it’s fine he was just some drunk,” You smile tightly, hoping it’s enough to keep him from doing anything stupid. It’s not.

“It’s not fine. I could hear him through the phone and drunk or not he shouldn’t be talking to anyone like that.”

You couldn’t lie, the way Jeno was acting right now was kind of sexy but this was not what you wanted right now. The situation had been dealt with. You were pretty sure with a punch of that strength you’d at least broken his nose.

“Jeno,” You slide your fingers into his hand, the act more intimate than you realized. He seems caught off guard, closing his own fingers around yours lightly so as to not hurt you more. “I promise, I’m okay.” He sighs, his jaw clenched with everything he’s holding back right now. 

“Well,” Yuqi starts. “There’s an obvious connection going on right now.”

You both turn to face the brunette, her smile teasing with a flicker of amusement in her eye. You guessed this was probably the most fun she's had in a while. You expect him to pull away, closing your eyes to brace yourself from the embarrassment. The moment never happens, his hand refusing to let go of you even as he turns to face your friend.

Jeno huffs out a short chuckle, “Hi Yuqi.”

“Hey Jeno! It’s been quite the while.” She looks behind the two of you to a car that pulls onto the side of the road behind Jeno’s. “I wish we could chat longer but unfortunately I do have a flight to catch so..”

“You said you’re staying for a week?”

“Ah,” Yuqi gulps, caught in the lie. “Right well I should start packing early. It was nice seeing you two though, goodbye!”

She's gone the next second, sneaking around the two of you to get into the car. You smile amused by her antics. Jeno doesn’t let go, instead leading you with him towards the car. You follow behind, nothing but the sound of the engine from Yuqi’s mysterious ride fading into the night. He opens the door for you, letting you in and shutting it as he makes his way over to the drivers side.

The ride is full of silence, the traffic lights illuminating Jeno’s face to help you decipher his current mood. He’s unreadable to most, especially when he’s upset. But not to you. Never to you. You knew him like the back of your hand. 

You try and come up with something to say when your phone lights up. 

Yuqi: Oh he’s down baddddd. He called me to go check on you didnt even say hi just said go check on y/n then said he was on his way and hung up. 

I thought it might be best if you wanted to see him so I got a ride lol :P 

Text me when you get home tho!

Unless you’re too busy getting busy iykwim ;))))

You shoot out a quick reply, closing the app to open your recent calls. Jeno was at the top of the recents page. You must’ve called him accidentally when that man snuck up to you, no wonder he mentioned hearing the conversation.

That made things much more awkward for you. For one, you had been the one to cancel plans on him. Then after a few drinks you called him, ruining his game because you couldn’t simply get the stranger to fuck off. That must’ve been why he was silent. He was mad at you. The furrow in his brows gave away that much.

“I’m sorry,” you start, “for ruining your night.”

He keeps his eyes on the road, his eyes only barely meeting yours as he continues to drive. “Is that what you think?”

“Isn’t it? I didn’t even mean to call you. I was going to handle it myself.”

He takes a deep breath, “Stop, that's not it.”

“Then what is it? Are you mad you didn’t get to hit him first? Is this like a weird Alpha Male dominance thing?” He chuckles and for some reason that makes you more frustrated. “I’m serious, Jeno. Why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad,” he pauses,  “Well not in the way you think.”

You lour, “What kind of response is that? Is this some kind of puzzle to solve? Oh great mysterious Jeno, please allow me to discover the truths of why you're angry!”

“I’m not mad,” He stops at a red light, head turning to look at you directly, your own eyes meeting him with slight annoyance. “I-“ He starts again, turning back to the road. “I’m upset. I wish I was there with you and that you wouldn’t have to deal with those poor excuses for men. And it's not that I don’t think you can handle things on your own, it's just that I wish you wouldn’t have to. Call it my ego but I want to be there to prevent shit like that.”

You blush, remorseful for your tone seconds prior. You were jumping to conclusions quite a bit. No, a lot a bit. Jeno wasn’t the type to want to admit how he felt, so you knew it did take him more courage than the average person to open up.

If his pride was hurt doing so then you thought the best option would be to hurt your own back. “If it helps, I was upset at you earlier too.” You can see his brow raise slightly. “I texted you mostly cause Yuqi mentioned you used to hook up with her roommate. If it’s like an ego thing, I guess technically I’m the same.”

“Miyeon?”

You wince at the name. “Sure.”

You weren’t aware of when the two of you made it to your apartment, just that suddenly you were in the familiar dark garage, cars parked all around the grey space. He turned the key, his car turning off as the two of you stayed quiet.

“Miyeon was just a fling, I didn’t tell you because it was over as quickly as it began.”

You refuse to move a muscle. You couldn’t explain why the thought still bugged you but it did. “Okay.” You say, and you're reaching for your seat belt when his hand stops you.

“I’m serious, there’s nothing you need to worry about.”

You knew that was true. The two had probably gone about their life without acknowledging each other. Jeno probably even lost track of her within the list of girls he’d already been with. For some reason the thought bugs you.

You shake it off, “I know, Neno. It’s okay, it was just a lapse in judgment.”

He nods, refusing to look away from you. You're not sure when he removed his own seat belt but he did, because suddenly his hands moved to remove your own. Your heart was pounding, his breath featherlight against you, raising the hairs on your arms.

He pulls away slightly, looking into your eyes for any words you left unspoken, all of which he’d taken right from your mouth. Speaking of, you couldn’t help but look at his lips, the overwhelming urge to pull him closer taking over your entire being. He must get the memo, because with his next move he’s cupping your face and kissing you.

The kiss is not at all like the ones you’d had before. Where those before were pure adrenaline, his lips met yours with an apology. Slow and gentle. His tongue grazed your bottom lip like he couldn’t get enough of you. And when you were about to deepen the kiss, he pulled away.

“Goodnight, Princess.”

You felt like you’d been slapped in the face. Was he insane? You snapped out of whatever daze you’d been in, facing him. He was already turning the car back on.

Wow so he really is insane.

You scoff, about to get up and out of this car and block him on every app to ever exist when you stop yourself. You bring your legs up onto the seat, hooking your hand under his seat to slide it further away from the wheel. 

“What are you doing?”

You ignore him, and once there’s enough space between you move over, hopping onto his lap. His hands hold your waist on instinct. “It’s bad manners to leave a girl hanging after kissing her like that.”

He smiles mockingly, “Like what?”

You bring your hand up, mimicking the way he held onto you. “Like it hurt you to pull away.”

“Maybe it did,” He whispers, one more word and his lips would be touching yours. You aren’t sure who made the move, just that all of a sudden you were both on each other once again, this time with a sense of urgency.

His hand slid into your shirt, fingers trailing up your spine to push you closer to him. The action only fueled your hunger more, you kissed him harder. It was possessive, like you wanted to leave a mark on him, one that told him that for now he was yours. You rolled your hips once, the two of you sucking in a breath in sync at the feeling.

He pulled away, his chest heaving. “We shouldn’t be doing this here.” You knew him well enough now to know he was trying desperately to come up with an excuse. Why he was, you weren’t sure.

“Why not?” You ask, taking a moment to give him time to think. He didn’t answer. Feigning innocence you grinded your hips down once again. His jaw clenched, a tell sign that he was holding back, redness creeping up his face. “Nobody’s around.”

“I don’t have condoms in here.”

You shrug, condoms were the last of your worries right now. “I don’t mind it as long as you don’t.”

His gaze darkens, a smile creeping onto his face. “Is that what you want?”

More like what you needed. If he didn’t dick you down right at this moment you would probably just end up getting yourself off then going to bed frustrated. There really was no comparing your own smaller fingers to his thick ones, and even your pussy was starting to tell the difference.

You nod and that’s enough for him to curse a fuck it and bring his mouth to yours. This time it was all teeth and tongue. Nothing but pure fervency to consume every part of each other. You let out a gasp as he slips his fingers under your skirt, dragging them against the damp fabric.

“You’re so wet baby,” He pulls away, whispering against your sensitive neck. “Is this all for me?” You nod, wishing for nothing more but him to fill you up already. He clicks his tongue, “Come on Princess we’ve talked about this before, use your words.”

“Yes, since you sent that picture of you.” You ramble. You think it would probably be best if you were shot dead at the moment. What was that one animal that gets so embarrassed that it just dies on the spot called?

He chuckles, finding your confession flattering. “Then I shouldn’t tease you any longer.” He says before sliding your panties to the side and shoving two long fingers in you at once. The squeeze is tight, but in all of the right ways. You whine, grinding down on them to feel them hit deeper.

“Fuck,” He says, fixated on the way you squeeze around his digits. “Use my fingers to get yourself off.” You waste no time listening, riding them slowly as he watches. You’re biting onto your lip, holding back sounds as much as possible because technically you both were still in a public area, as silent as it was.

He kisses you, swallowing every single one of your sounds. Your brain feels like it’s working overtime, hyperaware of every action. You feel him slide another finger in, curling them against you barely grazing your g-spot. You bite down against his lip, offering a poor apology as he hisses, your orgasm approaching rapidly.

Jeno doesn’t reply, instead he uses his mouth to trail against your neck making sure to leave bruises around the sensitive skin. You’ve given up on holding back any sounds, your moans building up just as your climax is, and right as you’re about to finish Jeno bites down on your skin. You cry out loud, the pain and pleasure meshing into one, a tear sliding down your cheek.

He pulls his fingers out, a whine falling from your mouth from the loss. “Color?” He asks, his pupils dilated as you look at him.

“Green.”

“Good, I knew you could take it.” He slides the waistband of his sweatpants down, pumping his cock twice.

“You didn't wear anything under?”

He shakes his head, “Had to hold myself back from fucking you the second you started grinding against me.”

You laugh, “You should’ve just done it.”

“Stay quiet and I will.” 

“Okay,” You take the challenge, sliding your panties down your thighs and hovering over his dick. You don't give him any time, sinking down on him in one full go. You bite down on your lip to keep yourself from groaning. He’s breathing heavily holding back his own sounds. “That goes for you too.”

His arms come up to guide you, helping lift until it’s only the tip before sinking down again. Nothing but heavy gasps of air and low curses slipping from you both. There was nothing like a fun challenge, trying your hardest to hold back your moans while simultaneously trying to get the other to slip up.

As he continues to pound into you, you try your hardest to keep your eyes open, the slight sting of the mascara in your eyes from your earlier tears. You made a note to buy yourself a sex proof one soon. Jeno’s trying his hardest to stay composed, but you can tell how good he feels with the way his fingers dig into your skin.

“Fuck.” He gives in, lifting you fully on his own and setting a harsher pace. You can feel him hit directly against you. You gasp, using your hand to cover your mouth and try to keep silent. It’s no use, from the angle you feel him even deeper, moans coming out of you as the pressure in your stomach signals your release.

“Neno– mmh. fuck—“

You shout, louder than you meant to, your legs aching with how much they were being put to use. You swear you notice a twinge of mischief in his eyes. The next second he’s bringing the same hand that was just inside you to your mouth. “Open.”

You do, still managing to taste yourself as he swirls his fingers around your tongue. He pulls them away, a string of saliva breaking away as he uses his thumb to tilt your head down. He traces your bottom lip, slightly bringing you closer. Then when you think he’s going to kiss you senseless again, he spits into your mouth.

“I told you princess, keep it down.” He whispers, thrusting into you with no remorse. You can feel yourself about to come undone.

“Neno I’m gonna—“

“I know baby, me too.” You can hear it in his rough voice. “Cum with me.”

With one last thrust you’re orgasm hits you, fast and heavy. He curses, filling you up with his seed. You whine, it’s the first you’d ever let a man finish inside you and damn had you been missing out. Any attempt of speaking is cut short, you’re brain is too fucked out to process anything. Instead you fall forward, curling into his neck that’s damp with sweat that is a little gross but mostly comforting.

“You smell familiar.”

He laughs, his hand scratching your scalp, you hum. “It’s your shampoo.”

“I fucking knew it.” You pout, not daring to move from his hold. The two of you stay that way. Curled up against one another in complete silence. You’re fighting your sleep, you had been the second he started scratching you. His low breathing isn’t helping either.

“We can’t stay like this forever,” His whispers, yet makes no choice to move. And even though you knew what he meant, your mind couldn’t help but picture different scenarios.

Was that what he would tell his other hookups? 

Did he warn them before they became too attached?

You shove the idea down, refusing to think it over. He was oblivious to your sudden concerns with your face hidden away from him. You suck in a breath, the light lavender scent of your shampoo hitting your nose with an underlying musk from Jeno himself. You should say something. It wasn’t abnormal to be curious about his past arrangements. You open your mouth, closing it just as quickly. 

“I know.” You say instead and you swear you can hear his heart pound a bit faster when you do, but just as you shoved down your own thoughts earlier, you do the same now.

 ☆ 🎸☆

For a long time there was nothing Jeno loved more than performing on stage.

He was destined to make music. He knew it from a young age. Cemented by his aunt who had gifted him a drum set as a kid. His mom had only further encouraged him, he was the one to take on her love for music, even if it was through a different instrument or way of expressing.

During every stage his heart was pounding with adrenaline, never becoming exhausted and instead waiting for his next cue. It fueled him, every slam of his drumsticks, the vibration felt throughout his entire body, and of course as he grew older he only became more confident in his abilities. He felt it every time he was on stage, a smile growing on his face as each song came.

The growing fan base wasn’t something he ever prioritized. He didn’t make music to become famous and make money, hell he was the son of some of the most known and respected people in their fields. You would make jokes about his nepotism, and maybe if the guys had any clue who he was before he joined then that would’ve been the case, but none of it mattered anyway.

Now suddenly, he wanted to show them the best of him. That meant being himself at his core, and what better way was there to show that side of him than drumming?

Oblivion were finishing up their last song, the sound of the fans screaming crescendoed as Donghyuck’s low nasally voice rang out the final verse. Jeno’s heart was going one hundred miles a minute, pure ecstasy flowing through his body. Then within a half second, he blinked and suddenly his smile had nothing to do with the crowd and the energy they had been radiating all night that directly translated into his performance. No, this time he pictured you, in all of your glory. 

The song came to an end. The crowd made sure to be the loudest they were the whole night, one particular high pitched squeal pulling him from his own thoughts. He rolled his eyes at Jaemin who was winking at a fan that resulted in another scream. He dragged him off of the stage, following the rest of the group as they walked back to their shared waiting room.

“Great show out there,” Darling cheered, specifically running into Jisung’s arms to give him a quick peck. The action made Jeno slightly envious in a way he’d never felt before by the couple’s frequent pda. “I swear there were way more people in attendance than any other show!”

“Thanks Darling,” Jaemin smiles. “You might just be our good luck charm.”

Jisung visibly deflates at the usage of his nickname for his girlfriend, pulling at her waist to keep her close like Jaemin would snatch her at any second. Jaemin was only messing around, he’d confessed to Jeno a few months ago that he loved how Jisung’s face scrunched up when he was annoyed, so he made it a mission to piss him off as much as possible.

“Yeah Jisung is more focused than ever,” Donghyuck smirks, “unless we count the time he was busy getting his dick sucked before we had to go up on stage.”

“That’s not what happened!” The couple shout in unison, matching shades of red in their face. Jeno was sure the group would never let them live that down.

Mark laughs. “Well we should be staying here for one night only, remember not to end up so drunk that you sleep through hotel maintenance pounding on your door so hard they assume you died.” 

“It happened one time.” Donghyuck groans.

“And it won’t happen again, you and Jaemin are sharing a room tonight.”

“What? Hello, way to be a cockblock, Mark. I was planning on going out tonight.” The implication that he was bringing someone back to the hotel was clear.

“Not my problem,” Mark sighs out before turning to Jeno. “You’re staying a few days longer, right?”

“Yeah, I'm gonna spend the weekend with my parents.”

“Nice, have fun.”

“Then what about you, Mark? You just got a room to yourself?” Donghyuck pouts.

“Yep,” Mark answers honestly, "gives me time away from you guys.” 

Darling laughs, "Don't worry, the nahyuck fans will love it.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“Aww,” Jaemin coos, his arm wrapping around Donghyuck’s shoulder, “We have our own ship name!”

Donghyuck looks like the revelation is causing him physical distress. Jeno takes that as a cue to leave before the two start fighting because once they started it was hard to stop them.

“Youre not going out with us at least?” Jisung asks, his fingers intertwined with his girlfriend's, a soft smile on his face that Jeno never saw from him until the two of them reconnected. He was happy for his friend, he always did wish the best for them all, and for people like Jisung and even Jaemin, he knew as much as they contradicted it with their past or current actions. They wanted love most of all. So seeing Jisung as he was now, so open and honest with his feelings was relieving for the most part. Though on one hand it did open a can of worms he was actively avoiding paying any mind to.

He could tell the guys were growing a bit curious. He wasn’t spending much time at the apartment, opting to spend the night at yours instead. A privilege you weren’t aware of that none of his past hookups ever got. Once again, a can of worms he really didn’t want to open. 

“Nah not tonight.”

Jisung raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t ask anything. With that, Jeno’s saying a quick goodbye, making his way out of the door as Donghyuck and Jaemin start one of their petty arguments.

Jeno had to give his parents credit, as much as his parents were busy, they always made sure to provide their children with only the best of the best. That included hiring Miss Kim, their personal chef, to make the best meals for their children.

He sat at the kitchen table, plates of breakfast being served as his Mom read the morning newspaper, his father sitting next to her and feeding her some of the washed grapes that Miss Kim had brought earlier. Jeno felt a twinge in his chest at the sight, covering it up with a quick cough as if anyone around would notice it.

“Is Seulgi here yet?”

His mom sets the paper down, “She’s late, overslept after a late engagement party her friend, what's her name?”

“Joy.” His father answers, feeding her another grape.

“Right. I think She's set to be one of her bridesmaids.”

Jeno nods. Miss Kim is setting his plate down in front of him, he mouths a thank you receiving a quick smile and bow before Miss Kim heads back to the kitchen.

“Speaking of which,” Mrs Lee sits up, eyeing Jeno with a mischievous expression as he digs his spoon into the side bowl of rice. “You aren’t coming alone, right?”

Jeno smiles smug, “Are you implying I bring back Jaemin?”

Jeno had invited Jaemin to a family gathering of his about two years ago. His mother was not immune to his charms, taking a liking to his carefree and confident way of speaking. She was adamant on setting him up with Seulgi until she had came out. And even though both parents were very supportive, Jeno had a feeling that his mother hadn’t yet given up on her dream of having Jaemin as a son in law. Though her target had shifted to Jeno.

“No actually, though im not opposed to inviting him. I’ve already told your cousin all about him.” That explained the consistent texts from her. “I just think it would be nice if you brought someone back home with you. Show her around a bit. How about that friend of yours you mentioned? Y/N is it?”

He almost spat out his food, choking it down instead to which his father passed him his handkerchief. He grabbed onto it, coughing until they finally died down.

“I’m not too sure ive mentioned her before,” He finally answers.

“Oh if not you then, perhaps Seulgi?”

Jeno has to hold back from groaning. There was a time where he and his sister went out for drinks, she had introduced herself to you and the night ended with you and her exchanging numbers. Clearly he wasnt aware that you both had stayed in contact since then, he’d definitely be asking you about that soon. “Yes, perhaps.”

“She told us about her, mentioned shes a very sweet girl.” His mom’s smile widens. “I’d like to meet her.”

He hums, praying for any possible distraction to appear. The sounds of rushed footsteps approaching from none other than Seulgi herself. “Sorry I’m late!” She says, taking a seat next to Jeno. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing.” Jeno says at the same time his mother says, “Did you invite Jeno’s friend to your wedding?” 

Seulgi pauses for a moment, “Jaemin?”

“Y/N.”

“Ah,” Seulgi smiles a thank you at Miss Kim who brought her a serving, “I assumed he was going to bring her on his own.”

“Never just assume with a man,” Mrs Lee sighs. “Jeno, I hope you can consider it.”

It’s not that Jeno refused to consider inviting you. It’s just that, his mom could be kind of stubborn. If you were to come by and she grew to like you then she’d automatically assume that you and him were meant to be together. And Jeno had a feeling she would like you, there was nobody in the world who wouldn’t. 

The last thing Jeno wanted was to make you uncomfortable by introducing you to his family, meeting Seulgi was enough, and you end up running away scared. On the other hand, you were someone important to him, so what was the difference of introducing you to his family when he’s introduced Jaemin before.

“I’ll talk to her about it,” Jeno says finally. His mom, grinning happily, is about to reply when he continues. “But I'm not going to force her. If she doesn’t want to, then she doesn’t have to.”

“Well of course not,” Seulgi punches his shoulder lightly, “We’re not expecting you to kidnap her. Although considering the book drafts she’s shown me, I don’t think she’d mind it.” She jokes. Jeno’s eyes widen, and a part of him is scared that his parents might have heard, but when he turns to see them both in their own world he knows they didn’t.

Then again, there’s that familiar sting of envy. Only this time he can’t blame it on the overdone PDA from Jisung and Darling, now it’s from his own parents. His parents wore their hearts on their sleeve constantly, and never hid their love from anyone. He’d grown used to it years ago, so what changed now?

Something must be severely wrong with me.

☆ 📚 ☆

Things are the worst they could ever be. Okay that was dramatic but it was what you felt like in the moment. For starters you had a suspicious feeling you were growing sick, you sneezed way more than the average amount of times a person sneezes today. Then second of all, you were drawing blanks both literally and physically.

You had been sitting in front of your laptop for what felt like hours, and absolutely nothing would pop up. There was also another issue, one you didn’t want to speak aloud to anyone other than the incognito mode on your safari search. You felt pent up. Something that you didn’t even know could happen with two days of abstinence, but unfortunately it could. 

It was like you were going crazy, you’d lasted years without sex so why did two days suddenly feel like eternity. Your head missed Jeno a lot, but your body did so much more. Especially late at night, like right now that you were in the darkness of your room with only the bedside lamp to illuminate the space around you. You tried to get off, maybe that could help with your writer's block in some weird kinky way. It was no use.

Not even scrolling Twitter videos could save you. You tried to sleep it off, perhaps a break would help. But the longer you laid down in complete darkness the more insatiable you became.

And then there was the bright idea. Jeno was a night owl, perhaps he was awake right now? You blushed in the dark room, there was no way you were even considering sexting him while he was spending quality family time. No you couldn’t stoop so low.

You flopped onto your right side, squeezing your eyes shut to clear your mind. Only instead your mind began playing tricks on you, images of Jeno’s body flashing through your mind like they were stored in a hard drive from your brain. You visualized the curve of his muscles, the definition and ridges of his back muscles that you hooked your nails into when he drilled into you so—

Oh gosh. You were seriously thinking about Jeno like that right now. This couldn’t be right, right? Your body seemed to think differently, with the way you felt your panties begin to dampen from your arousal.

You took a deep breath, snatching your phone from the charging cable on your desk and opening your message tab with Jeno.

Princess: Are you awake?

His typing pops up faster than you’d expected. You were hoping that he wouldn’t reply, then you could call it a night and pretend this never happened.

Neno: Yeah. Can’t sleep?

Princess: Not really…

You’re about to chicken out, your finger hovers over the do not disturb button when your familiar ringtone, one of Oblivion's earliest songs, blasts out of your phone. You jump, sliding the answer button.

“Hello?” Your voice comes out way more weak than you intended, and mentally you’re beating yourself up about it.

“Hey,” His voice hits you like a truck. The deep timbre sliding down your spine in a way that makes your body react on its own, goosebumps raising on your skin. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I–“ Just miss you. It’s funny how now the tables have turned. “Can’t sleep.”

He hums, and you can hear him shifting on the other side, perhaps trying to get comfortable. “Do you want to talk?”

You wanted more than talking but maybe that was being too greedy. “Yeah, tell me about how the show went.”

He pauses for a second, “Went great, fans seemed to enjoy it a lot. Spent the rest of the day with my family.”

“Oh,” You forgot that he mentioned a breakfast date with his family. Your family was far too busy for those kinds of gatherings so it was a bit surprising but sweet. “How was that?”

“Not bad, it was nice seeing them with how long it’s been.”

“Can you tell me more?”

He chuckles, “Like what?”

“Anything. What about that game you play, how's that going?”

There’s another pause, and for a moment you feel like you’ve been caught. “Princess.”

The nickname goes straight to your core, your thighs pushing together on instinct. “Yeah?” You reply, voice weaker than you meant it to come out.

“Why are you awake right now?”

“I- I told you. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Right,” He pauses again, and you missed the way his voice deepened. “How can I help you with that baby?”

You suck in a breath, a curse slipping from your lips. You swear you can hear him smile through the phone. “Come on, tell me what you need.” 

“I need you.”

You can hear him move around again, your chest tightening with how honest you were. You meant it in more ways than one, but there was no time to dwell on it now.

“Why don’t you let me hear how true that is?” 

“Like right now?” You squeak out, suddenly embarrassed.

He chuckles, “Or is that not why you called me?”

“I don’t know what you mean—“ “Princess. Never in a million years have you asked me about my games.”

“What if I wanted to change that?”

“You’re stalling.” He states, “If you’re shy you don’t have to be, your voice alone made me crazy the second you picked up.”

His honesty scares you a bit, but it also gives you room to relax. “Do I have that effect on you?”

“More than one.” You take a shallow breath, and he definitely notices it. “Are you gonna be a good girl and spread your legs for me?”

There’d be no way for him to know if you were really following his instructions, but with how needy you were you made sure to do it anyway. Sliding your fingers past your bellybutton and tracing the light fabric.

“Tell me, just how wet are you for me?”

“Fuck–“ You clench around nothing. “Since earlier. I couldn’t sleep without thinking of you.”

“Is that why you texted? Were you just waiting for me to call you to use my voice and get yourself off?”

“N-no I didn’t know you’d call.”

He hums mockingly, “Really? Then what were you going to do? Give up and wait for me to get back home to fuck you? His words were harsh. For some reason it was working for you, a wave of want rushing through your veins. “Or maybe, you were going to go out and find someone else to do the job?

“No Neno I wouldn’t,” You plead, “I only want you.”

“Fuck,” He whispers Beasley audible through how fast your heart was beating. “Then use my voice, and I’ll make sure to fuck you good tomorrow as an apology.”

You take that as a promise, your hand slipping down into your panties, fingers gliding across the folds of your wet cunt. You gasp, “Fuck Neno I’m so wet.”

“Yeah baby?” He grunts, and the familiar sound only drives you crazier. “Go ahead, slide a finger in.” 

You do as he commands, your pussy squeezing around the digit. Only there’s no relief, you were used to Jeno’s long thick fingers, yours were nothing in comparison. “It's not enough.” You cry, desperately wishing he was there.

“Shh,” he coos you. “It’s okay baby, come on just imagine it’s me.”

You slid another finger in, it wasn't long enough, but it would have to do for now. You rocked your hips, slowly fucking yourself with your fingers, your panties pushed to the side as the wet squelches filled the room.

“Fuck I can picture how tight you are,” he groans through the phone and youre barely registering now just how quiet he’s trying to make his own voice. “Youre taking my fingers so well huh?”

“Fuck Neno please.” You whine, scissoring yourself to fit another finger in.

For a moment all that can be heard is the heavy breathing through the phone. The two of you are trying to keep as quiet as possible. You register it then, the wet slide of him on the other side. You’re not sure how you missed it. He was jacking himself off as you got off to his voice.

“Neno.” You call out his name.

“Yes, princess?” He stutters through the line. 

“I’m ready for you now.” 

He laughs at being caught. “Yeah? You gonna be able to take it?”

You nod like he could see you, “just please fuck me already.”

“Alright then,” he plays along. “Spread your legs for me more baby.” 

Your eyes are shut, visualizing him over you, his hand gripping your leg harsh to keep them from shutting. You slide a third finger into your cunt, it wasn't close to his girth but it would have to do at the moment. You clenched around them, imagining your fingers were his cock instead, filling you up so good. “Neno–ngh fuck youre so big.”

“You can fit me baby, you know why?” His voice is low. “cause that pretty pussy of yours was made for me.” 

You moan, setting a strict pace to match his own through the phone. The light sounds of his breathing getting heavier with every thrust of his hand. You could imagine him now, he’d probably be biting his lips to hold back his noises, trying to keep quiet from his family who were only a few rooms over. Your stomach tightens, your release approaching quicker than it would when it was just you to get yourself off.

“I’m close.”

“Me too,” He replies. “You gonna let me cum inside you again? Fill up your needy cunt?”

“Fuck yes Neno—” You scream out, your orgasm washing over you in the next second. Your fingers are cramping up, continuously thrusting inside you to help milk out your orgasm. 

He grunts a bit louder, calling out your name from what you can assume is from him reaching his own climax. You keep your phone close to you, your breaths evening out. Your legs felt like jelly, the energy you’d had before dissipating. The tiredness from the time being four in the morning finally hitting you.

“Baby?” Jeno called out. You hummed low, using what was left of your energy to do so. He chuckles through the line, having realized that you were seconds away from knocking out. “I’ll see you tomorrow, princess.”

You don’t even remember if you answered or not, only that the call ended. Your breaths fall into an even rhythm as you drift off to sleep.

Part three:

Do I wanna know?

☆ 🎸☆

Call Jeno what he was. A simp, a manwhore, a little bitch. That one was specifically from an angry Donghyuck whom he had declined going out with for the fifth time in a row to see you today. He’d gotten back from his parents house, and assuming how early he woke up to drive back into town he wasn’t surprised you were still sleeping. You had a habit of a minimum of twelve hours a night and he’d taken up most of those last night at four in the morning.

He blushed slightly at the memory. You hadn’t answered, which would’ve worried anyone in his situation if he didn’t know you well enough to know that you were probably busy writing like your life depended on it after gaining a surge of inspiration.

He gripped onto the plastic bag in hand. He stopped by the convenience store for some of your favorite ramen. Nothing else, truthfully, the pack of condoms had somehow made their own way into his bag. “Y/N!” He opened your front door, being sure to lock it behind him.

The apartment was unusually silent, safe for the meows coming from Meowy who greeted Jeno by rubbing against his feet. He cooed at the cat before making his way over to your kitchen to set the bag on the counter. “I brought you some noodles! Oh and they had a discount on the condoms so I thought why not!”

You didn’t answer. He frowned, looking out at the front door he’d just come from to spot your shoes in their place. You were home, so were you just sleeping in?

He walked over to your bedroom, knocking a few times. A low groan sounding through the door followed by a “Come in.”

He opened the door, the darkness of the room enveloping you as you laid in bed, Your body curled in itself like you’d exhausted all energy for the rest of the year. He frowned, approaching you with soft footsteps. Your eyes met his with a squint.

“Princess?” He called your name, to which he immediately regretted the second your lips started wobbling.

“Neno I’m sorry,” your eyes began to water.

He panics, sitting on the corner of the bed to get closer to you. “Hey, what's wrong?” He feels a slight panic from seeing you like this, it’s not the first time he’d seen you cry but it wasn’t a sight he’d see often.

“I didn’t want to text anyone and I know I said I wanted you bit then I woke up and it was like a crime scene everywhere and I spent the whole morning washing the sheets but then my washer broke so I hand cleaned it all and these cramps are seriously going to kill me—“

“Hey it’s okay,” Jeno cuts you off, his thumb wiping the tear threatening to fall from your eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” You reply bashfully, “Ugh I’m so annoying I always get so sad on my period. It’s gross.”

“It’s not gross.” He replies in an instant.

“Youre right it’s just human nature or whatever,” you sigh, wiping at your own eyes and sitting up. He reaches forward, his warm hand wrapping around your waist to stop you. “Hey it’s okay, I can go. Just get some rest.”

You pouted, “But I don’t want you to go.”

He smiled, “Okay, I won’t.”

Jeno wasn't sure how much time had passed like this. Just that as soon as you could you had cuddled into him. Something about his natural body warmth being the perfect temperature to help your cramps, so he held onto you, your breaths eventually evening out into sleep.

He didn’t even bother to grab his phone, instead just staring at you like some creep. He was grateful no one else was there to call him out on it though. After a few minutes, you shifted. Your head peaked up from where it laid flat on his chest.

“Sorry did I trap you?” You mumbled the question, sleep still evident in your voice.

“No, it was pretty comfortable actually. You're like a sloth kind of.”

You rolled your eyes, laying your head down again. “You look like one.”

“Rude, and after I canceled plans with Donghyuck to come see you.” Jeno was only joking, he would’ve declined plans with Donghyuck even if he didn’t come to see you.

“Sorry again,” you whisper. “I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

He scoffs playfully, “Hey I’m your friend before anything else.” He’s not sure why it felt so icky to say it but he continues, “I don’t need sex just to want to see you.”

You blush at his words, hiding your face deeper into his chest. “Yeah well, you're the first guy I’ve ever met like that.”

Jeno wasn't sure of most of your dating history, he wasn't the type to just ask but now he couldn’t help but be a bit curious. “Have you dated men like that?”

“Not dated, I’m not one for a relationship.” He knew that. The two of you had related plenty, but now he was itching to know more about you.

“Is there a reason?”

“No, not particularly at least.” You stir, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you lay on your back, looking up at the ceiling filled with the tiniest glow in the dark stars that had been there for years. “I mean for some time I did want that, but then I lost my virginity and I guess I realized that love isn’t something that happens in real life.”

There’s not a single ounce of pain in your voice. “I held it off for the longest time, save for love kind of thing. Then in college I ended up sleeping with a crush and really it didn't live up to any expectations. The guy hardly even acknowledged me at all except for my body.”

Jeno scowled, the stupidity of men would be their demise. He could understand why women wanted nothing to do with them, there were plenty of fish in the sea sure, but just how many were the parasitic kind that drained the life out of women.

“It was alright I guess, led me to now. And congrats, you're the only man to actually care enough to make sure I finish.” You joke, though there’s an underlying embarrassment in your voice. One that he catches quickly.

“Do you regret it?” He asks. No malice in his words, just pure curiosity.

You shrug, “I guess I regret that it wasn’t like the books I write. There was no attentiveness, just impulsivity. If I could’ve then I would’ve wanted my first time to be with someone I could fully trust, someone who would treat me carefully knowing it was my first.”

He nods, though you don’t notice it at all. There’s too many things running through his head. You deserved better, even now you deserved the best. He wanted for you to fall in love just like the stories you wrote. The uneasy heartbeats, the anxiousness of not knowing if your feelings were reciprocated, then eventually the love confession that brought on a happy ending.

You deserved it more than anyone in the world.

“But it’s already passed so it’s nothing to dwell on,” You say, sitting up. “Now how about the ramen you brought?”

Jeno knows better than to argue, offering a smile instead.

“Coming right up.”

☆ 📚 ☆

The rest of your week had gone about as well as it could while you were on your period. You of course had to show up to work, despite the cramps and lower back aches, keeping a smile on throughout your shift while experiencing some of the worst discomfort ever.

The only way you survived was because of the pain killers Yuqi had given you and the take out from the restaurant down the street. Jeno hadn’t stopped by as often as you hoped. He told you that Mark was becoming more strict with practice as the group went viral for the third time in the month. You had seen a couple of videos, more recently one that was a q&a with Jeno. You had already known every answer of his, so anyone who considered themselves Jeno fans could suck it.

Speaking of which, he had also told you to hurry home tonight, which you figured was because he finally had time to visit. Your spirits were lifted now, you only hoped it wasn't so obvious as you left work to head straight home.

You squeaked open the door, expecting Meowy to meet you the way she always did with everyone who’d set foot into the apartment. Instead, you were met with a floor full of rose petals, candles (not real ones of course that was a fire hazard), lining up the hallway into your kitchen that was fully decorated with more roses and dinner plates. Your heart skipped a beat, the thought of an intruder stopping by and setting up all of this as a passing thought until you met eyes with Jeno.

He stood wearing a black buttoned up top tucked into the jeans he had on. It was casual enough that you didn’t feel underdressed, having come home straight from work in jeans and a basic tank top you’d put under your work uniform.

“Hey.” He beamed, the same puppy-like way that you were used to but somehow now made your heart feel like it could burst any second.

You freeze for a moment. “What is all of this?”

“Dinner. Oh don’t worry, this is a recipe my family cook taught me how to make so it should be edible.” He jokes, grabbing onto your hand to lead you to your seat. You sit down, overwhelmed by the burst of emotions flowing through your chest, he sits ahead of you.

“Japchae?” He nods. “I would’ve cooked up something like steak but I thought maybe this was a safe bet.”

You pause for a moment, only this time he must notice the shift in your demeanor. “Are you okay?” He asks, a slight tone of fear in his voice, he must’ve thought you were upset.

“I’m just I don’t understand,” You say finally. “Why all of this for me?”

He doesn’t take a single second to think about it, “Because you deserve it.”

“But I'm not- I've never even had a date treat me like this,” You stammer.

He chuckles a response. “Y/N, because I wanted to. How’s that for a reason?”

You still don’t understand it fully. This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for you, the previous being your mother who gifted you a custom typewriter for your sixth birthday, only this made zero sense. It wasn’t even your birthday.

There must be a hint of hesitance he picks up on, because in a second his hand is over yours in a comforting gesture. “If it helps, think of this as part of our rules. I’m trying to give you inspiration.”

Right, of course. That made perfect sense, why else would Jeno have gone all of his way to set up such a nice dinner like this. You offer a small smile, nodding as you reach for your chopsticks. “Okay, then let’s not let this go to waste.”

Jeno smiles, relieved.

Dinner went well as soon as the alcohol was brought out. One glass was enough to make your nerves disappear , the conversation between you stirring from small gossip he’d learned from Jaemin’s loud mouth to early memories the two of you remember from the first years of your friendships.

The japchae was more than just great you came to find out. Jeno could seriously have become a world class chef if he didn’t stick to his career now, speaking of which had only become way more demanding than ever. But he was happy, and you were even happier than he was. The man was a once in the lifetime talent, he deserved all of the love and recognition in the world.

“Neno,” you said suddenly. “It’s getting pretty late.”

He hums, “Yeah I’ll clean up and I can g—“

“No!” You scream shutting him up. “Stay. Please.”

He laughs, “Okay princess.”

“I’ll be back, just–” You’re suddenly shy, avoiding any eye contact with him. “I’m going to go clean up a bit, maybe after we can cuddle or something.” You hope he doesn’t make you explain more and just gets the memo. Luckily, he grins knowingly. “I’ll be back!” You shout as you run towards the bathroom.

You were never the shy type, but as you step outside of the shower, you feel an overwhelming amount of anxiousness. You slipped into a loose fitting shirt. One Jeno had left behind. He was lying down in your bed, scrolling on his phone until you entered. Jeno’s eyes turn to you, discarding whatever he’d been watching on his phone and sitting up straight on the edge of your bed.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he states with an expression that you could only describe as want, though it didn’t feel fitting enough.

“I hope that’s okay,” you answer, approaching him until you’re right where he sits. His hand comes up, brushing your cheek. You shiver despite his hand being warm and inviting.

“You’re breathtaking.”

You blush at the compliment, pulling his hand away from your face to move it to your hips, climbing on top of him swiftly. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me—“

“Not for that, for everything else.”

“I meant it when I said you deserve it.”

You lean in, his breath catching as your lips connect to his. There’s a subtle desperation in the way he kisses back, where most of your kisses were fervent, this one was full of something more. No fight for dominance but rather a way of expressing your gratitude.

Jeno tugs at his shirt, lifting it off of your body. “Can I?” He asks, earning a nod from you before he’s flipping you onto the mattress. You’re laid completely bare, at least figuratively with the way he’s looking at you, like he’s undressing you with his eyes alone.

You have barely a second to catch your breath, Jeno’s lips trailing over your breasts as he unclasps your bra. You shudder, your chest laid naked as the cool air hits you.

“Fuck– Neno.” You moan as he takes your left breast into his mouth, his tongue flat over the sensitive nub. His hand comes up, palming your right breast, his thumb circling against your nipple.

You’re only growing needier with every second, every lick sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. He pulls away, and you take the opportunity to pull him in for another kiss, this one heavier than the last. You button his shirt while he’s distracted, pulling it down and discarding it to the floor.

Jeno’s breathless as he pulls away, his eyes full of want. “Can I taste you?”

You nod, and he’s kissing you again. His hand moving to slide your panties off. He reacts in an instant, leaving kisses down your stomach until he’s face to face with your needy cunt.

His breath fanning over your folds, driving you insane with every second he spends refusing to take action. “Please,” you whine. He snaps out of whatever haze he’d been in, his tongue tracing against your folds that leaves you panting.

Your legs fight to close, his hand keeping them stretched open enough for him to continue lapping at your juices in peace. You call his name, moans growing louder as he presses closer against you, his nose pressing against your clit.

Your hands are moving before you can stop them, reaching out to tug on his hair. He moans into your pussy, the sound traveling through you evoking you to moan.

You cry out, twitching around his tongue as he begins to fuck you with the muscle. Your juices mixed with his spit sliding down his chin in a beautiful mess.

His name trails off of your lips like a melody. The sound meshing with the loud squelches of him devouring you. He pulls away, substituting his tongue for his digits.

“Oh my– nghh Neno—“ You can feel tears threatening to spill. The pace of his fingers fucking you rough as he sucks your clit. He continues to fuck his fingers into you, curling them to hit your pleasure point directly. Your legs squeezing around his head as you cum with one last cry of his name.

He laps up your fluids, his nose pressing against your sensitive clit with how messy he is. “Jeno baby, please,” you beg, the overstimulation getting to you. He doesn’t seem to notice, continuing to lick against your folds until you're dragging him to look at you.

His hair is a mess with how much your hands tugged at the strands. He meets your gaze, his lips and chin wet with you, pupils completely dilated. “I’m sorry baby.”

You shake your head, tugging at him to come back up. When he does you’re kissing him, sucking on his tongue to taste more of yourself. He groans into your mouth, pulling away to let out a gasp. “Fuck.”

Your brows furrow, meeting his eyes where he looks down at himself, a small wet patch visible through his pants. He just came untouched from eating you out. A burst of pride shoots through you, drawing you to kiss at him again.

“You’re so fucking hot, can I please take these off of you?” You ask, batting your lashes.

“When you ask like that, who am I to say no?”

You smile, unbuckling his pants and rushing to rip them off of him like the fabric was life threatening. Your hand palms against him, his size growing with the slightest touch of yours.

He’s holding back a groan when you start sucking at his neck, leaving hickeys on display for everyone to see. For everyone to know that he’s yours.

He helps you take off his boxers, another piece of fabric meeting your floor. He's fully erect, the thick muscle hitting against his abdomen with a slap. Your mouth waters at the sight, taking in his size with your eyes and zeroing in on the thick vein that runs along the shaft.

You suck in a breath, envisioning how nice it would be to feel him inside your mouth, his hand forcing your head down until your gagging as he fucks your face. That would have to do another time, for now, you wanted nothing more but to feel him in your guts.

“You like what you see?”

“Corny.” You answer, earning a chuckle from him before he’s pecking your lips again.

“You love me.”

He says it so casually, yet it still makes you feel weak in the knees. “And other things.”

Jeno lines up to your entrance, knocking your breath out of you as he sinks into you. The squeeze is tight, but it’s not unbearable. He’s giving you a few seconds to adjust until you nod at him to continue.

The first thrust is enough to pull a loud moan from your lips, your hands coming around his back to steady yourself. It’s obscene, his hips slapping against your thighs as he drills into you over and over again.

You can already feel pressure start to build up again, your nails digging into his skin drawing a curse from his lips.

“It feels that good, baby?”

“Neno– please please don’t stop—“

“I won't princess.” He says before fucking into you faster, this time his lips swallowing your moans as he kisses you like his life depends on it. Your body feels light, consumed by the feeling of him. You’re crying, you can taste the saltiness of your tears as he kisses you through it.

He must tell you’re close because his hand goes down to rub against your clit, the circular motion sending you close to the edge.

“Come on princess, let go for me baby.”

With those final words you’re clamping down around him, your orgasm flooding down your thighs only producing a wetter sound as he continues to pistol into you. His thrusts grow sloppier until he’s finally reached his own climax. His cum spurting into you, filling you up.

Your words are barely coherent, voice wrecked with all of the screaming you did. You’d have to bake a few apology cookies and offer them to your unlucky neighbors. Jeno kisses around your face, cooing you until your tears stop, his final kiss being one to your lips.

You open your eyes, his own meeting you with what you could only assume was fear, but quickly disappearing just as it happened shifting to one of… you couldn’t tell.

The previous you who had felt bare had nothing on you now. Because even as Jeno pulled out, his cum dripping down into the sheets, you couldn’t help the feeling in your stomach.

Something had changed.

Part Four:

Heart-shaped box

☆ 🎸☆

Jeno was in a funk. Ever since the date he set up he felt insane. Something was different, he knew it deep down. It wasn’t an obvious fact, you had continued to text him like normal, even sending him dress options for the wedding he had sprung onto you so late.

You didn’t mind, casually sending him your finds from shopping trips you went on with Shuhua. He took in a sharp breath every time you sent him a picture, his lungs felt like they would collapse at any moment with how great you looked. Though it was mostly you, even showing up to the wedding with your hand around his arm would provoke that reaction from him.

He imagined it now, you being so close to him as he introduces you to his family. A smile on your face and a light blush because as much as you were a confident speaker you would probably still feel nervous to meet his parents at such an important event.

Jeno got that same weird feeling in his stomach, covering his face so the rest of the guys wouldn’t see.

“Yo are you good” Mark asks, “Your face is all red, you're not sick or anything right?”

“He could be because you can’t help but keep the fucking air conditioner on all through out the night!” Donghyuck argues. Mark rolls his eyes.

“Jeno isn’t sick,” Jaemin moves the back of his hand to check Jeno’s temperature. “Yup not sick.”

“I’m fine guys, really.”

“I don’t think so, you’ve been spacing out a bit lately.” Donghyuck sing songs, “kind of like when Jisung was heartbroken and slumping around like a kicked puppy.”

“I don’t think I was that bad,” jisung replies, earning a “you were” from everyone else.

“Seriously I’m just thinking a lot lately.”

“Wait like really?” That seems to get the group's attention, they get closer, gathering around him like a kettle of vultures.

“You say that like I’m an idiot.”

“An idiot no—“ “debatable.” Donghyuck starts, earning a scowl from Jeno to which he hides behind Mark. “You aren’t one to think about things too much, you're level headed like that.” Jaemin finishes his thought.

“Yeah hyung, so no offense but it’s a once in a lifetime experience to see you act so–“ Jisung contemplates, “so lost.”

Jeno wasn't sure when any of them had caught onto any of that but apparently they did. He really wasn't the type to open up, but there was a time for anything. “Okay yeah, I guess it’s just a lot of changes lately.”

“Go on.”

And so he did. Jeno went on to explain every detail of yours and his arrangement, well the ones that mattered, up until now. The date, the sex, the way he couldn’t help but feel like he was stuck in a Train going down a different path than he ever expected yet he wasn't even mad about it.

“Oh my gosh,” Jaemin squeals. “I knew you were both meant to be!”

“Great going Jeno, I owe him five dollars now I hope you're happy."

“What?” Jeno asks.

“Jaemin did always say he had a gut feeling that you and Y/N would end up together,” Mark agreed. “That bet lasted shorter than expected though.”

“I think you’re confused,” Jeno starts. “It’s not like that. Me and Y/N are just friends with benefits.”

“Right and the benefits include date nights, home cooked meals, and life altering sex after?” Donghyuck taunts. Jisung makes a look of disgust at the last part.

“As much as I don’t think the last part was necessary,” Donghyuck shrugs. “I do agree. That's not at all what friends with benefits do.”

Jeno isn’t sure what to say. Was he at fault for this sudden shift? It felt like he was, but then again you didn’t seem to act like anything was wrong either. Maybe the guys were being dramatic. Jaemin looks at him like he knows what Jeno is trying to do.

“Answer this one thing,” Jaemin starts. “Do you feel your heart beat a little faster around her?”

Jeno nods.

“And when you think about her. What about then?”

Jeno felt the blood creep up his neck. How the hell would Jaemin be able to tell that.

“Think about it Jeno, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

Jeno frowns. Could he be… no. There’s no way. But then he thinks back to you, your contagious laughs and smiles.

Oh.

“What does this mean now?”

“Well you’ve already got the grand gestures down, loverboy.”

“This time, just add the confession.” Jisung adds.

☆ 📚 ☆

Time had gone by quicker than you’d thought. The continuous dress shopping leading up to this exact moment. You had packed up well, joining Jeno in road-tripping to Jeju island. It consisted mainly of sleeping, singing along to music completely off key, and feeding Jeno snacks while he drove.

You hadn’t felt the subtle shift in the area around each other, not when every time you looked away he made sure to keep his eyes on you until he couldn’t.

The wedding was in the afternoon. A ceremony that would end with a sunset. This made for really good inspiration for the third part in your book series, so you made sure to make a mental note of it.

You changed into your dress, hidden in one of the hotel’s rooms as Jeno got ready with the rest of his immediate family. You felt nervous, the outfit fitting way more exposed than you were used to.

“Y/N! Can I come in?”

“Uh, yes!” Seulgi walks in, a bright smile on her face as she does. “I didn’t think you’d have time to stop by and do anything.”

“Yeah well, I promised Jeno I would check in on you,” She gives you a look over, “You look beautiful.”

You blush, “No of course not, you look great.”

“I do, don’t I.” She does a bit of a twirl, the sleek yet elegant white gown hardly moving except for the flared fabric at the bottom.

You’d never imagined a life of marriage for you, but seeing Seulgi look so bright and happy made you second guess. Perhaps there could be someone to change that? Perhaps even–

“Jeno’s waiting outside. I’m going to go set myself up for pictures before the ceremony begins.” She gives you one last nod. “I’m glad you came.”

You offer a smile in return, “Thank you for inviting me.”

You had unfortunately not been able to catch Jeno before the ceremony began, sitting on the outskirts as the family sat front row to Seulgi, as did her wife’s family in the opposite direction. Jeno had made sure that even with the distance, at any opportunity he would look at you.

Goosebumps rising on your body with the way he looked into your eyes so sure. And with every vow spoken, it almost felt like he meant it to you. You had to take a breath the second it ended, being pulled by one of Jeno’s cousins who had claimed you as her new best friend. She dragged you towards the drinks, offering you a glass of champagne that you held onto.

Beyond the live orchestra that you were sure you would only live to see once in your lifetime, there was nothing but cheers for the happy couple. You were a bit too invested to have noticed Jeno sneak behind you, his hand tapping on your shoulder.

“I didn’t get the chance to tell you how beautiful you look.” He says, staring at you with a quiet longing you didn't pick up on.

“You can tell me now,” You tease.

He chuckles, his hand hesitating for a moment before it finds its way around your waist, pulling you closer as his lips graze your ear. “Youre the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” You don’t even get the chance to reply, the words falling flat on your tongue.

“What an honor it is to meet you.”

You look up to see the same woman who had stood up on stage before, Mrs. Lee. The musical genius in the flesh. Jeno, quickly moving to give the two of you space to talk, though remaining close enough.

You bow quickly, a perfect ninety degrees. “No, it's an honor to meet you. Your work is truly inspiring, I tell Jeno everyday just how lucky he is to have a mother so efficient and hardworking.”

She brightens, “Do you study music as well?”

“No ma’am, unfortunately I’m tone deaf but I appreciate it all the much more.” You reply shyly. “I’m a writer.”

“Ah,” Her smile widens, “That’s beautiful. I am quite fond of authors myself, please do tell me what you happen to write?”

“I’m only now starting, but if all things go to plan I should have my first novel released soon.” You nod, looking at Jeno who hadn’t once let go of his hold on your waist. As if sensing it, his mother turns attention to the area, smirking playfully.

“Well I do wish to own a copy once it does release, and Jeno.” She beckons her son. “Do bring her again more often, I think the two of you make the perfect pair.”

She apologies, stepping back into the celebration. You feel like a weight was lifted off of your chest, somehow wanting nothing more than the woman’s approval.

“Oh my god, I shouldn’t have mentioned that. How do I even talk about my book with her when you inspired half of it.”

Jeno laughs, “I don’t think she minds. She knows more than she lets on, she just likes for people to introduce themselves anyway.”

Your eyes widen, "You're saying she probably has a hundred page long history on my entire existence?”

“A hundred pages sure sounds humble,” he jokes.

“Neno!”

“I know, I'm only joking.” His hand comes up to smooth over your cheek. You can’t help but lean into his hold, breathing in the subtle hint of wood from the cologne he must’ve put on as he got ready. “Can I show you somewhere?”

“That sounds like something a murderer would say,” He sighs and despite your heart thundering you continue. “But yes.”

The first thing you notice is how silent it is besides the waves crashing into the sand. The entire property had been closed off, a subtle flex Jeno hadn’t intended when he told you about the place on the drive over. It was dark despite the fairy lights hanging off the building, the only real lighting coming from the full moon that was cast up above you.

You think of all of the possibilities that could come about in your book. Every piece of inspiration coming from the past few months up until this moment. Only you knew it couldn’t continue this way, not with how risky it became. Not when you realized just by looking at Jeno in his suit, laughing with the rest of his family just how easy it would be to get used to this. To crave more.

“Do you like this place?”

“I love it.” You speak carefully, suddenly overwhelmed with how comfortable the silence was between you two. You're not sure when your chest became so heavy, or when breathing felt like a pierced blade to your chest.

“Princess.” Jeno calls you, and you wish you could answer him but you just can’t. He must’ve repeated himself again, because the next second he’s at your side forcing you to look into his eyes.

And even with the rough lighting and the blurry vision, he still took away every last bit of your sanity. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

You can tell he’s stressed, and you aren’t even sure when you started to cry but here you were with your makeup probably ruined, struggling to catch a breath. When did it become so hard to look at him without feeling like the world was crumbling beneath you? When did his pure existence have such profound meaning to you? No, that you could answer, because even a panic attack couldn’t take away from the fact that you loved Lee Jeno.

“I–“ You try to speak, only embarrassing yourself as you choke up on the words, warm tears spilling down your face.

“Hey, look at me. It’s okay, we’re okay.”

No, everything was not okay. You had fucked up the only rule that really mattered. You had done yourself the worst by falling in love with him.

“Y/N.” He’s clearly worried, though he masks it well enough. You look up at him, “I’m sorry, I made the rules myself and I couldn’t even follow them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think I– no. I know it now. I’m in love with you.” You close your eyes refusing to look at him. “I didn’t mean to, and I know this is so sudden and you don’t feel the same at all but I just—“

You never get the chance to finish your sentence. His lips come crashing into yours, the same passion from the kiss you’d shared only nights before. He’s pouring every ounce of a love confession to you, hoping it will be enough to clear your mind of any doubts you had that he wasn’t yearning for your love.

He’s the oxygen you need to breathe. That’s your first thought when he pulls away. “I was supposed to be the one to tell you first.” He whispers.

“Then maybe you should’ve said it sooner,” You taunt, his thumb tracing over your tear stained cheeks.

He frowns, “I promise I was going to. It just took me a bit longer to realize.”

You gasp, feigning offense. “Wow, here I am pouring my heart out to you and instead you let me embarrass myself!”

“It’s not embarrassing to see you cry, you’re pretty even when you do.”

You hope it’s dark enough for him not to notice how flustered you are. “Don’t use flattery to get out of this!”

“Oh?” He pokes at your cheek. “But you seem to enjoy it a lot.”

He closes the distance, pecking the corner of your lips that results in a bashful smile from you. “Don’t worry, you have the rest of our lives to get used to my compliments.”

“Is that your way of saying you’re madly in love with me?”

“I think the kiss established that earlier. But yes Y/N, and I’d love for you to be my girlfriend too.”

“Ah,” you contemplate. “What are the benefits?”

“Everything we’ve done the past few months and more, you just got to experience the free trial.”

You shove at him playfully. “Then I gladly accept.” You say, and before he can give a snarky response you’re pulling him closer. Closing the distance between the two of you to share a kiss, this time as lovers.

Epilogue

Scary Love

It was Déjà vu. You sat anxiously in the same office you’d been in before. Only this time, you were confident that Shuhua wouldn’t turn you away, oh and of course the fingers you had been fiddling with happened to be of the man sitting right beside you.

Shuhua sets the papers down, her expression flat.

“So?” You grow more anxious, biting your bottom lip.

“I’ll let the graphic design department begin searching for an artist to go along with your cover art.” Your eyes widen. “It's wonderful.”

You jump up, dragging Jeno up on his own feet to celebrate with a hug. He smiles, not at all minding the fact that you’d just manhandled him.

You turn and face Shuhua then, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes. “Shuhua!”

“Don’t cry you big baby, you were always going to make it, you just needed more time.” She smiles, pulling you in for a short hug. “I’m proud of you y/n.”

“How am I not supposed to cry when you say things like that!”

The two of them laugh at you as you hug Jeno, hiding your face in his shirt. “I told you she’d love it.” Jeno says, patting your back. You look up at him, “It’s really thanks to you.”

He chuckles, “Thanks princess, but I wasn’t the one who wrote it.”

“Ah but you're the one who inspired it all!” You tease him, “Maybe I should add you as a co-writer.”

“Mhmm I’m sure my fans would be taken aback.”

“I don’t think they’d mind. Lee Jeno is known for being multiskilled after all.”

“Don’t you guys have places to be,” Shuhua groans. “I heard you booked a sold out show.”

“Oh right!” You exclaim, “we should really get going, don't want to keep anyone waiting.”

“Right, go on and leave! Take your puppy with you!”

Oblivion had really reached new heights of popularity, they’d been working so hard these past few months working on pushing out a full album that you had almost forgotten how your boyfriend looked. You giggle at the thought, you were Lee Jeno’s girlfriend.

The fans quickly took a liking to you, with how loud and relatable your personality was. They’d even spotted the two of you on a date (if you can call grocery shopping that) not too long ago, asking for a picture with Jeno that you quickly agreed to. Jeno, as humble as ever, had gushed at their compliments. And when the fan suddenly turned to you asking if they could also have a picture, Jeno was way too quick to take fifty of them.

Things were great, even with the busy schedules between the two of you, you made sure to make time to go to his shows.

“Guys, we’re going to need you on stage in the next ten minutes.” Chenle, Oblivion’s new manager, reminded everyone.

“Yes sir!” Mark saluted the man, “You heard him guys, hurry up.”

“I’m going to miss you.” You pout, running your hands over your boyfriend's forearm.

“Don’t be silly, I’m going to be looking right at you.”

“I don’t think the fans will appreciate that.”

“No they will,” Darling adds into your conversation. “They’ll add it to your cutest couple moments compilations.”

“You sound like you know them so well.”

“She has secret chat rooms with them,” Donghyuck squints at darling. “Where else would they have gotten those pictures of me and Jaemin.”

Jaemin wrapped an arm around the tan man. “Nope, all me.”

You laugh at the two of them, Jeno’s arms wrapping around you and he snuggles into your neck. “Do you want to come up on stage later?”

“Neno you know I can’t.”

“You can if it’s an encore,” he sighs. He really does look like such a puppy when he makes those eyes. “Please baby.”

You couldn’t say no to him. “Fine.”

He smiles, pulling you in for a short and sweet kiss that's partially interrupted by Chenle stopping by again to shout, "Five more minutes!”

“You guys are kind of disgusting.” Jisung scowls but from where he has his head laying to rest on darling’s shoulder.

“You say that, but need we remind you of the heinous acts the two of you got up to before our show?” Jeno threatens the couple with a smile on his face.

They match each other’s beet red. The rest of the band turned to laugh at the pair, teasing the couple further. That reminded you.

“Neno,” You ask. “Have you ever considered red hair?”

By the time the last song ended the crowd pushed for more, which meant that you could make do of your promise to your boyfriend. Security allowed for you to pass through and onto the stage, Jeno capturing your entire body the second you got close. “I missed you.”

“I thought you said you’d be looking right at me.”

“Yeah but that only made me miss you more.”

The band, as per fan request, chose to perform their final song again, this time with a twist. Jisung was to take over lead vocals as the rest of them swapped instruments, safe for Jeno who instead had to direct you to play for him.

You sat on his lap, a bright smile on your face that was battling the stage lights. You’d never felt happier, you think, sitting with Jeno. A part of it scared you, not knowing what could come out of this. You hadn’t ever expected to be living as one of your novels, but here was the man in front of you willing to give you your happy ending. Loving you so openly despite his similar fears.

“Here,” he gives you a drum stick. You accept holding onto it as his bigger hand wraps around yours. “Follow my lead.” He brings the stick down, hitting the snare with light force. Not enough to have you jumping off of him but enough for you to squeal in shock. 

His laughs fill your ears despite the heavy music and crowd. And as you turn back barely able to look straight into his eyes, you find him already looking into yours. This time with an expression you find easy to recognize with how much you love him too. 

You realize it then, you’d follow his lead anywhere.

࣪𖤐 the end ── ★ ̟

FINAL NOTES: This one was so much less angsty than the other one and I was scared if that would affect the readers experience but my beta reader said that both stories were on par with one another… Anyway i’m happy to write more of these two in the next part.. Donghyuck biases i hope ur excited!!

“Long time no see, Y/N.” You heard the familiar voice from behind you, pulling you from your very heavy mind. You’d felt uneasy since the second the plane landed, your memories flooding back to you with zero remorse.

You turned to face her, the luggage in your hands weighing them down enough that you only gave a polite bow. You’d hoped that you came off nice enough and not like you were awkwardly avoiding any physical contact after not having spoken to your friend for so long. Even if thats exactly why you hadn’t met her eyes for longer than three seconds at a time.

She sucked her teeth playfully, “Is that any way to greet your friend?”

You couldn’t help but smile, her tone all so familiar and comforting. “Hi Giselle—“

”Aeri,” she cut you off pulling you in for a tight hug. “My closest friends call me Aeri.”

You let out a sigh of relief, allowing yourself to hug her back even after you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t cause anymore trouble than you already had  before booking the first flight out. “Aeri, i’m sorry to call you so abruptly.”

She shakes her head that you’d only now noticed was pink as she pulled away from the hug, “Don’t say sorry you idiot. I’m glad you called even though I was like ninety percent sure it was a prank call when you asked for a ride from Seoul Airport.”

Your cheeks reddened, to be fair you weren’t exactly the type to pull off spontaneous trips. It was just as uncharacteristic to her as it was to you, though you weren’t really the type to prank call either.

”This way,” she slid one of the carriers out of your grip, dragging it as she made her way through the terminal.

The drive was silent apart from the sound of the air flowing out of the air conditioning and the occasional sorry Aeri offered when she turned a little too close to the edge, driving over the curb. You hadn’t anticipated the easiest reunion after the years that had gone by, but as the seconds went by you only felt more awkwardly trapped within the Toyota. 

You’d been overthinking over what to say for the past ten minutes your mouth agape with hesitation until you finally built up the courage. “You dyed your hair.”

Aeri giggled, flicking the blinker as she made yet another sharp turn. “Yeah like two years ago.” 

Your heart sank, thats right you had seen it on her instagram story last Halloween right before closing the app at the sight of—no that didnt matter. It shouldn’t at least. 

“I’m sorry,” you stuttered, only making her giggle more.

”You’re so awkward now,” she spoke through the laughs.”What did they do to you in France.”

You pouted, the place you’d been at more than twenty four hours ago had been alright to say the least besides the rude pedestrians and pitpockets. “What do you mean you’re the one who’s been acting so normal! Pretending like nothing’s changed when I haven’t seen you for five years.” You crossed your arms, burning holes through the side of her face.

She hummed playfully, “And who’s fault is that?” The words stung which was certainly not her intention yet caused you to fall silent. She wasn’t wrong, if anyone were to blame it was definitely you. 

“Hey,” She called out, her voice regretful. “I’m just kidding you know, seriously there’s no reason to be so awkward.” She spared you a quick glance with an apologetic smile, “You’re overthinking it, i’m not mad you made it out of this shit town. Hell, I would’ve done the same.

“So why didn’t you?” You ask, curious. Aeri had always wanted to travel, it’d been her dream since diapers.

She shakes her head, “You talk like we don’t have the rest of the world ahead of us.” 

You bit your tongue, maybe for her it was that way, for you the future had different plans. You nod, the rest of the conversation falling into another silence. “I’m acting normal because everything is normal. Don’t think of this as time lost think of it as time catching up.”

Before you can get a word out she continues,”And I wasn’t like trying to make things awkward. Just thought silence fit the whole angsty quarter life crisis vibe you’re going through right now,” She jokes.

”I’m not the one who turned twenty five this year.” You deadpan causing her to gasp.

“Oh wow you’re not that far off I hope you know that.” She replies, the two of you laughing together. You both had a way of poking at each other, of course knowing when to stop, but in most cases it wasn’t ever necessary. It was the way the two of you showed love.

“I’m guessing i’m the only one you’ve told?”

Aeri was always very attentive so you were sure she’d have figured it out before the week ended, you’d only wished she could’ve at least realized after you’d had showered and changed into clothes that weren’t full of sweat.

“Yeah.” You felt your heart racing in fear of her mentioning his name.

“Wow I still have best friend privileges then?” She jokes, helping ease your stress a little more.

“You never lost them.”

“Right, well that must mean something then.” She smiles, before adding. “It’s the same for me, even now you’re still my best friend. I tell everyone, even told my friend Renjun before heading this way.” 

You smiled, she had answered the phone quicker than you expected and before the phone call ended had already stated she was on the way. You were grateful even if in that back of your mind you had already known that she wouldn’t have just left you alone. It was even stupid for you to think that things had changed in the first place, Aeri wasn’t going to drive an hour away into Seoul for just anyone on a Friday. 

“Renjun is?” You ask, curious about what she had been up to before she had picked you up.

“Oh he’s a cool guy I met doing some volunteer work for the Children’s Art program. He was a bit annoyed about me leaving right as we were getting ready for tonight but he shut up when I told him it’s cause I was coming to get you.”

“He knows me?” The thought scares you. Other people you’ve never met perceiving you was not really something any introvert would want.

“Yeah well me and Ning talk about you a lot.”

Ningning. You’d more recently seen her in person about a year ago. Her family had some business to take care of in France so you had the chance to have brunch with her before she was on her way out of the country.

“I hope I get to meet him.”

Her eyes light up, the next turn sharp enough to make your body slide over from one side of the seat to the next. “You can tonight! We were going to go over to some bar later on and getting drinks.”

“Aeri I have nothing to wear.”

“You can borrow some of my clothes!” 

You groan in frustration, she was still the stubborn type. “I’m not really in the mood to socialize right now.” That wasn’t exactly the full truth but you’d rather get ran over than admit the real reason.

“I think it’ll do you good.” The rose haired girl replies, eyeing you through her peripherals. “I’m like one hundred percent sure that your grandma has zero idea that you’re even here right?”

Your silence tells her enough to know that she’s correct in that assumption. “It’ll be fun! You can wipe that kicked puppy look off of your face and get to socializing! Ning will be there too! It’ll be like you never left.”

You sigh. It wasn’t that you were avoiding contact with anyone from your past it’s just that you were avoiding seeing him.

Truth be told you really didn’t even know what made you come back here in the first place. Things were even more messy than they were in France right now, and that was a lot to say considering that you hadn’t replied to a single missed call from your mother. 

You’d get around to it eventually. For now you just needed an escape. If your grandma knew she would tell you to not argue with your mom and go back home. But you didn’t want whatever kind of home that was supposed to be you wanted–

“Fine.” You spoke before you could even finish your thought. “I’ll go.”

Aeri squealed in excitement, pulling her phone out as soon as the two of you reached a red light to call and let everyone know that she had a very important person she was bringing over.

You hoped tonight could be a night of silence. You’d been thinking way too much about everything the past few days, it was important that you cleared your mind before your thoughts fried it. You weren’t sure how much time you had left before you had to come to terms with reality. France was where you were supposed to be no matter how differently you wish it were. 

You were here for clarity, not for your own personal gain despite the urge to reach out because what you wanted wasn’t going to happen. Not after things ended so horribly. 

You at least owed him that.

☆ 🎸 ☆

“You okay man? You’ve been playing that same chord progression for the past thirty minutes.” 

“Leave him alone he’s just pissy because his last hookup tried the groupie route.”

That wasn’t exactly true. Naeun seemed like a pretty sweet girl but she had a score she was hoping to reach and Jisung wasn’t interested in fucking a girl who planned on hopping on his bandmates afterwards.

“I told you man,” He feels the weight of his friend's arm on his shoulder, sighing in annoyance at the familiar action. “You should be more like Jeno, tell them you’re only hitting it once and then you’re done.”

“That’s not at all what I say.” 

Jisung could hear the scattered laughs from around him, breaking the cocoon of peace he’d been in while strumming to his own tune on the bass. 

Most of the band’s rehearsals began this way. He’d be in his own funk until the rest of them snapped him out of it, usually by poking at him until he finally gave them attention, and then they’d all practice. Only now, instead of ten minutes of being in his own world he’d somewhere along the way picked up the habit of playing for over twenty minutes, now thirty, all by himself.

It wasn’t that it affected the group’s intense practice schedules, actually he’d argue that Donghyuck’s habit of bringing his latest hookup for an exclusive behind the scenes tour was much more disruptive. It was, however, becoming increasingly irritating to himself. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

Jisung was no psychic but he at least had some kind of intuition. It came with having a Scorpio Moon, or whatever Jaemin had told him when he was hanging out with the tarot card girl. 

“Are you good?” Mark asked, his words full of concern yet low enough that only Jisung could hear him as the others continued to mess around paying them two no more attention.

Mark had pretty easily taken on the leader role when this whole band came about, being the eldest of the group and also the voice of reason. The lead guitarist was known for his friendly demeanor and knowing just about everyone, which made it easier for him to book gigs all over the place.

That’s also how the two met, Jisung having covered for the older’s friend’s band, Frequency, when their bassist caught food poisoning three days before they had to do a grand show two cities over. 

If it weren’t for meeting Mark then it would’ve been safe to bet that Jisung would’ve given up on his dream of playing in a band. He was eternally grateful even now, which is why he’d grown more frustrated at himself. It was unfair to space out all the time, but it was even more unfair that he couldn’t get his own head straight all the time. He had to get his head straight, he couldn’t run Oblivion into the ground.

His breath was shaky. “I’m fine.” He answered, much less tranquil than he’d hoped for but it got the point across. Mark gave a tight smile, choosing to accept the pretense, before clapping loud enough to disrupt the other’s shenanigans.

The guys turned their attention to Mark, who had made his way over to where his guitar stood. “Come on guys, it’s time we take things a little more seriously.”

“It’s nothing we haven’t played before,” Donghyuck started, his confidence high and sprung as always. “We have practiced these songs more times than i’ve seen my mother.”

“Doesn’t mean we’ve mastered anything,” Mark replies swiftly. “This is the most packed schedule we have these next couple of months. We have a couple of venues sold out, that festival downtown  in a few weeks, not to mention the fact that we’ve been needing new music since forever.”

“Songwriting isn’t exactly my forte,” Jeno retorted, taking a seat and adjusting the cymbals on his drums.

“Doesn’t matter, practicing beats sitting around and doing nothing.” 

“Doesn’t Jeno do that anyway?” Jaemin teases, picking up his guitar and sliding the strap over his shoulder.

The drummer responds with his signature smile and his middle finger raised. 

“Let’s make things easy for Markie,” Donghyuck grabbed his mic from off of the stand. “Start with Déjà Vu?”

Jisung starts with the bass line, the familiar weight of the tune soothing his head as the others join in. It was easy to get lost in their music, rock was always his safe space.

The music built up, Donghyuck’s vocals filling the space around them. They’d rehearsed the song so many times it came to them all like muscle memory at this point, the five of them having some of the best musical chemistry ever. 

The bridge was coming up when Jisung’s mind blanked. His fingers faltered over the strings, not enough to make the others stop playing but enough to garner questioning glances. He came in once again right before the ending chorus, all of them playing as if he hadn’t just ruined the entire practice performance.

He tried to stay focused on the music but as the song neared its end it only broke the illusion Jisung had put himself under. There was really no way he could keep up with the rest of the guys if he kept on letting his mind wander. 

“Jisung buddy, you okay man?” This time Jaemin was the one to ask. Great that meant his internal struggles were already becoming more obvious.

“Yeah, sorry, guess you’re right about a few things.”

“I told you Ji,” Donghyuck says far too loudly as he speaks directly into the mic. “If you need something I know plenty of women ready to be at your beckoning call.”

“Once again,” Jisung sighs, running his hand through his hair. “I’m not interested.” Donghyuck shrugs.

“It’s not a problem this is just a practice anyway,” Mark says as leaderish as ever, “Let’s take it from the top.”

Jisung knew Mark was probably a bit more stressed than he let on, this whole gimmick had been happening way more often to call it a stroke of misfortune. He wouldn’t ever let the man see that though, he already knew just how hard Jisung was on himself. Could you really blame him, though? Now was not the time for mistakes, the band themselves were booked and busy for the next few weeks. If he kept tuning out and fucking up simple songs that he could play in his sleep, he’d be responsible for the reputation of the band.

He bit his bottom lip, closing his eyes to clear his mind before starting up the same bass line as before. He’d have to hurry up and fix whatever limbo he was stuck in. And hurry up fast.

☆ 💫 ☆

Dinner went about as great as you’d expected. Lots of awkward moments up until the drinks started pouring in, and only then after almost zero persuasion you took the drinks and joined the rest of them in the fun drinking games you hadn’t played since you were all sneaking sips of your mothers expensive wine. It wasn’t alcoholic in the slightest, but that hadn’t stopped your young minds from acting drunk anyway.

It had been almost a week since then. And you were no monster so you had already come clean about your whereabouts to your grandma who, after lots of convincing, agreed to not tell anything to your mother under the condition that you would visit her in the time you chose to stay here before leaving again.

You weren’t exactly sure when that would be, after all you still had too much on your mind and according to Aeri, lots of catching up to do. That included, checking out the newly remodeled venue thirty minutes away and having drinks with everyone. 

Unfortunately for you, no introvert was safe from your friends' shenanigans. So tonight you were expected to show up, no excuses. Not even the ‘you don’t have my foundation shade’ that used to get you out of going most places when you were all younger. Turns out having a friend who worked as a beauty consultant took some getting used to.

You took in the scene around you, low lights that were full of color. There was a subtle fog that filled the room you were sure was there to add to the aesthetic appeal. 

You’d been sipping on drinks for what felt like hours just waiting for the main performance to begin. Some band was running late for the past thirty minutes.

“Isn’t there supposed to be a performance?” You click your tongue in annoyance, speech slightly slurred.

“I think they might just move on to the rest of them, probably gonna end up being a hefty fine.” Renjun replies, gulping down the last of his mocktail.

“How many bands are we here to see?” 

Ningning giggles, just as tipsy as you. “As many as we can! Who doesn’t love live music?”

You groan, “Well i’ll be right back then,” You scoot off of your seat, pulling down your dress fabric that had risen just a bit too high for comfort as you were seated. “Anyone else want another drink?” Your friends politely decline, choosing to stay behind and keep your section open for when you come back.

The bodies around made it a bit more difficult to find your way around, but anytime you were tipsy you’d gain enough confidence to convince yourself you could run a marathon in ten minutes, so there was no way you were backing out. You chose to try a different route, heading closer towards the stages in the back since there were less people and crowds weren’t exactly your scene.

“You look like you’d rather be anywhere but here right now.” A low voice sounded from behind you, startling you into turning around.

“Do I know you?” You take in the appearance of the man in front of you. He was handsome but that didn’t really mean anything considering that he was a stranger, and you were alone.

He chuckled, his smile only growing larger. “Guess not.”

You nodded awkwardly, turning away from the guy and praying he wasn’t some creep.

“If you’re here for the show then I’m pretty sure the stage is that way.” He calls out, pointing from where you just came from.

“Not where i’m headed but thank you.”

“Hey look I promise i’m no creep,” He says and though the words are meant to be comforting your drunken mind can’t help but take it as a threat. “You should really be careful out here though, if security finds you they’ll kick you out without even hearing you out first.”

You’re not really sure what to say so you nod. This guy was kind of annoying, it was obvious enough you didn’t want his help. You looked at him again, your brow raised this time actually taking in his appearance. He had blond hair, his eyes were big enough you could probably spot him from a mile away, and his smile seemed genuine yet all the more unsettling. 

“You like what you see?” He jokes, his smile growing wider.

You pretend to gag, causing the ladder to laugh. “Okay okay fine i’ll leave you alone.” He looked down at his watch like he’d lost track of time. “Oh by the way, the bar is that way!”

He pointed in the direction you had already planned on going in before running off into one of the many rooms that confused your tipsy head.

When you’d appeared once again with your friends this time with a drink in hand Aeri was the first to speak up.

“Where have you been? I told these guys you have zero sense of direction who gave them the bright idea to go by yourself.”

“His name is Jack Daniels.” Ningning blurts out.

“I’m serious, you missed out on a lot, Renjun’s friend Chenle is some dude who owns this place. He invited us for more drinks later when the show ends.”

Renjun nods happily, “He also offered us rides home so I can actually drink now.” 

You smile, “Don’t worry, I met some weirdo but he kind of helped me find the bar so he wasn’t so bad after all.”

Aeri’s eyes widened with worry, “He didn’t try anything did he? I’ll find whoever the creep is and kill him.”

“I’m fine, really.” Before she can argue the crowd erupts in cheers, five silhouettes filling the stage. It was hard for you to even make out their faces with all of the fog and distance between you and the main stage. 

The first few chords strummed, the low notes of the bass powerful enough to cloud your mind before the rest of the ensemble joined. Whatever song it was was captivating. The entire crowd swayed to the heavy sound, your friends following suit.

The next few songs went by almost too quickly, and it was safe to say that whoever these guys were on stage were something special. The crowd cheered loudly after every performance up until the final song.

The lead singer stopped for a moment introducing the last song by title. Once more to see you.

The final song began, a slow bass line that felt so familiar. You took in a sharp breath, the vocals were different than they were before. This time a low voice took the mic. You felt as if your heart stopped beating, your friends were distracted staring up at the stage not having noticed your pale complexion.

You couldn’t breathe. What ever made you think you could come back down and avoid him? The lead singer had taken the mic again but it was much too late. You knew exactly who it was on that stage. You’d spent your childhood with him. You helped him find his voice. You were there when he first began composing his own music. 

You were there, until you weren’t.

☆ 🎸 ☆

Jisung took one long breath, soaking in the applause from the audience before looking up as the final chorus ended. His heart sank for a split second, staring out in the distance he swore he saw–

“Come on,” Jeno called out, his figure covering his view. He moved over, looking into the crowd again to see nothing. He must really be out of his mind these days. He followed the rest of the group off of the stage, the cheers fading into the distance.

“That was fucking amazing!” Donghyuck shouted excitedly, “Did you see the way the girl in the front row kept looking at me? I threw her a wink and she got all shy.” 

Jeno rolled his eyes, “Yeah I'm so sure that happened even through the thick ass fog.”

“What was the deal with that?” Mark added, taking a sip of a water bottle that Jisung was almost sure appeared out of thin air if it weren’t for the mini fridge in the break room they’d noticed earlier. “Swear I could barely see where my own guitar was.”

“I for one could see perfectly,” Jaemin sighed, “The girl with the black dress.”

The rest of the guys collectively groaned in annoyance, it was so like Jaemin to pick out a random girl from the crowd to offer his entire soul to for the night. The hopeless romantic surely had a weird way of envisioning his future.

Jisung scrunched his face, deciding to take a water bottle from the fridge as a means of cooling off. He wasn’t exactly interested in the other guys sex lives, so he found himself wondering back to what he thought he saw. There was zero way that it was you. Like it had to be scientifically impossible, you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with him anymore so why would you be back in town?

He had to be losing it or something because seriously what the fuck. First he was spacing out now he was suddenly seeing shit? Seeing you of all people too?

“Jisung!” Jeno shouted, no anger in it whatsoever but it was enough to make Jisung jump anyway, “Dude what’s up with you lately?” 

He had no answer to that.

When he didn’t reply Jeno started up again, “Look I don’t really understand what the heck is going on and clearly you’re just as lost as I am, but how about you join us after this?”

Ah of course there was always the post performance clubbing his band mates would go to for drinks and more specifically, the warmth of another in their bed. Honestly he should say no. He always did anyway, but he figured that if for even more than a second he was left alone with his own thoughts he’d certainly lose his mind for real.

“Okay.” Jisung agreed, not completely confident in his decision but the other guys seemed happier than he was at the answer.

“Finally!” Donghyuck buds into their conversation, poking his head in between the two as he hangs off of Jisung’s shoulder. “I met this girl a few shows back and her friend couldn’t stop asking about you! I promise you, you will get some tonight.”

Mark laughs, “Yeah i’m sure that’s exactly what Ji was worried about, going home without some groupie.”

Donghyuck shrugs, “You never know, Jaemin could die if he doesn’t get his dick touched after every show.”

Jaemin smirks, “Good thing I don’t ever have to worry about that.”

Jisung knew he had made a grave mistake the second they had entered the building. For one, most of the bodies filling the room stank of cheap cologne and alcohol. And the second he even made his way in every single one of the guys disappeared into the abyss. 

This was seriously not his scene. He let out what felt like the hundredth sigh of the night, making his way over to the bar. He ordered rum and coke, hoping that was good enough to get a little bit of alcohol in his system so he wouldn’t feel like dying until the rest of the guys gathered up to get back home.

As time went on he’d grown bored, the drink was seriously not helping him get his mind off of anything. Some woman tried flirting with him about half an hour ago who was obviously not in the right mind when she confessed to forgetting her name. Her friend popped up right behind her apologizing and leaving with her.

He contemplated another drink as he scrolled his phone once more, a few texts popping in from the Oblivion group chat.

Donghyuck:

Im out

Don’t bother me

I’ll be back in the morning

Of course the dude had left on his own. If Jisung knew that was the case he would’ve left a long time ago. He set down the empty glass in his hand, going straight through the crowd to find the exit door. His phone began to ring, he was sure it was Jeno or Jaemin calling to hook him up with a random person he’d never met. It was annoying how often they’d pull that, even when he was already settled in his bed at home.

He locked his screen, ignoring the call as he spotted what looked like a door out. The crowd was really getting to him, even if his height was an advantage between all of the people, he didn’t particularly like the feeling of someone standing so close to him. He was a bassist for crying out loud, that didn’t mean he had to be a people person. That was all Hyuck’s job, anyway, as the lead singer. 

As he finally reached the door he felt like a weight lifted off of his shoulder, reaching out to open the door when from the other side someone pushed it forward. He muttered a quick apology before looking up. 

Right in front of him you stood, in a black dress that didn’t do enough to hide your figure from everyone else’s eyes. Paired with a huge fluffy puffer jacket he never would’ve imagined you’d buy for yourself. Though his imagination proved to be very inconsistent since he would’ve never imagined you’d be back here of all places.

It hit him then. The anxious feelings he’d been experiencing for the past weeks, the girl who could’ve bet his entire life on being in the crowd. So he wasn’t going crazy, not yet at least.

☆ 💫 ☆

You should’ve trusted your gut. That’s the only thing that you could think as you met face to face with him. He looked even better up close than he did on the stage. Only where he looked comfortable and free playing before, it was nowhere to be seen now. Now he stared back at you. For just a second as you opened the door you thought you could see a hint of relief. It was all gone now. Now you looked into the eyes of the man you knew so well before. Now you looked into the eyes of your best friend who eyed you back with…

Well, honestly, you couldn’t even pinpoint how he felt, all you knew was that it was definitely not a happy feeling.

“Jisungie?” Ningning called out from behind you, completely oblivious to the dense atmosphere that surrounded the two of you.

His expression changed in a quick moment, a smile masking his features as his attention shifted to greet hers. You weren’t sure why it hurt so bad to see the two of them interact that way, but it did.

“Hey,” His voice was as deep as you remembered, goosebumps erupting on your skin as you moved to the side, offering up space so the two of them could talk more easily.

“I haven’t seen you in like forever!” She rested a hand on his shoulder, “You look great but out of place, I don’t remember you being much of a clubbing guy?”

“Jeno dragged me out tonight but it seems he made himself pretty busy.”

Ningning laughs, “Seems just like him.”

You felt like an outsider, not knowing any of the people the two of them were referring to. You shrank into silence, hoping the two of them would end up distracted enough that you could make a run for it. Surely there had to be at least one late night flight back to France, or Portugal, or Spain, or really any European country that could hide you for the rest of your life.

“You could join us where we’re sitting? We’re in a vip booth, supposed to be meeting some of the bands from earlier.”

Your eyes widened, there was no way she really asked him that. It wasn’t completely known to the rest of your friend group what really happened between you and Jisung but it didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure it out either. 

“Ah,” He looks down awkwardly. You held back a smile, he was never really one for direct eye contact, not with anyone but you. What were you talking about, that was in the past. “I actually played earlier, I'm the bassist for Oblivion, the last ones that played.”

Ningning’s mouth was in the shape of an O, “Really! I would’ve noticed but it was pretty foggy where we stood!” She knocked on her head, scolding herself for not paying enough attention to who was actually on stage. “You should come by anyway! I’m sure the others might be just as surprised seeing you now.”

Things couldn’t get more awkward. It was fine though, Jisung was obviously pretty occupied before you bumped into him, so clearly, he wouldn’t want to stay here longer when he’s busy.

“Sure.”

It was not fine.

“Great!” Ningning smiled, “Y/N can show you where the rest of the group is i’m going to order us a round of drinks!” 

It was definitely not fine.

Jisung nodded, prompting Ningning to leave the both of you alone. You barely let out a small “This way,” before even more uncomfortable silence filled the air around you two. 

You knew your friend certainly didn’t mean to make things weird, she just happened to be a very talkative drunk. You could forgive her in the morning when she would apologize to you profusely just as she always did after a night of drinking and bad decisions. 

What plagued your mind now wasn’t that, it was why Jisung would even agree in the first place? He didn’t seem to want to talk to you at all. Or had you been imagining things? You did have a habit of making things out to be what they weren’t. Perhaps he was actually happy to see you? Perhaps he was interested in catching up with the others? Maybe he wasn’t mad at you for leaving him hanging the last couple of years and dropping off the face of the earth.

Jisung was always a sweetheart growing up, he could hardly hold any resentment towards anyone. Some things never changed.

Time changes everything. 

You’d told yourself that right before you clicked to confirm your flight, mostly so that when you came back and realized that change was inevitable and happening no matter what, it wouldn’t cause you to panic but instead give you better insight on what to do with your life.

Now, as you sit quietly at the table, Aeri to your left pouring yet another glass for the man seated in front of you. You realized that there was no comfort in change, not when you ruined what left you had to live in your life. 

Jisung hardly looked at you, avoiding every fiber of your existence as he laughed along with the rest of the group. You had tried to make a comment somewhere in between the night that he ignored flat out. It should’ve pissed you off more, you were a prideful human being, but you’d figured that was better than him looking at you in disgust, the way he did earlier when you first introduced him to everyone at the table. 

He was always one to have his emotions written on his face afterall. 

You took another shot of soju, your friends so deep in conversation they overlooked your presence, talking loudly about some things you’d missed out on when you moved away. You were a few shots deep enough to know that you had about one more shot left in you before you completely passed out here on this table, which honestly seemed like the worst fate possible, again because of your pride.

You tapped your finger, absentmindedly, your overthinking soon to be reduced by the thoughts of ‘could I jump over a twenty foot van’.

You weren’t sure how long it’d been of you doing that until you heard the sound of a glass sliding towards you. Looking up, you see the same dark head of hair that had been hard to not notice all night.

“Drink.” Jisung says, his tone flat and uninterested, like he didn’t actually care if you did what he said at all.

You eyed the glass with what you assumed was filled with water since it was clear. “Water?”

He sighs, as if replying to you physically hurt him. “What else would it be?”

You shrug, holding the glass with both hands and taking a few large gulps of the cool liquid. It was definitely water, and for some reason it was really hitting the spot. You set the glass down, wiping your lips from where at some point it spilled. If you were sober enough you would’ve seen the way he looked at you, the shaky breath he let out when you wiped your mouth. 

“It could’ve been tequila.”

His patient demeanor is back, “Do you really think i’d offer you more alcohol in this state?”

You shrug again, this time not really knowing what to say. You felt shy all of a sudden. Those were the only words he’d directed at you and you only the entire night. A selfish part of you knew that if you let the conversation die now he, rightfully so, would probably never talk to you again and go about his own life. You felt like that was the worst possible outcome, so you opted for another. 

“Where’d everyone go?” You ask innocently. Truth be told you hadn’t even noticed the empty chairs around until now. Damn did you really drink that much?

As if he read your mind he replies, “Did you really overdo it? They left for the dance floor a few minutes ago. They invited you but you claimed your feet would fall off if you stood up for more than a minute.”

Well props to your drunk self, you at least knew your own limits. Jisung scrolls his phone, the silence somehow louder than the music playing throughout the place. When did things become this way? You knew why, but that didn’t make it hurt less. He could hardly even look at you, but when he did he looked at you like it hurt him to. He looked at you like you were the bane of his existence. Of course, after a certain point you were also an emotional drunk. You’d learned of it back in France when you had too many rounds of champagne at your mother’s Orca release and rescue charity gala event and bursted out crying as the slide show segment took place. 

It was embarrassing then, the last thing you needed was a repeat of that time. You swallowed down more water, hoping it would ease the cry in your throat from fully forming.

Jisung’s phone began to ring. He looked at the caller ID and rolled his eyes. You thought maybe he wouldn’t answer when he proved you wrong, sliding the answer button and lifting the phone to his ear. 

He answered softly, “Hello?”

Ah it must be his girlfriend if he’s answering so kindly. That makes total sense, he was always a subtle charmer. You’d look into his eyes and fall deeper and deeper without realizing it like he was some sort of black hole. 

“No it’s okay,” He spoke again, making eye contact with you again and tapping the table for you to finish the last of your water. You groan but obey, sipping down the rest in one last gulp.

“Yeah really hyung i’m fine, just got things to take care of.”

Hyung? 

You ponder for a moment before realizing that it wasn’t a girlfriend he’d been on the phone with. Wow what a way of jumping to conclusions. You’d laugh at yourself if doing that wouldn’t result in a psych evaluation.

He seemingly ends the call, typing something into his phone before setting it down.

“What was that about?” He raises an eyebrow in what seemed like he was offended that you’d even ask. He was about to give you an answer when you cut him off. “Fine then I didn’t want to know!”

You had enough of whatever game he was playing. Since he hated you so much he could leave. There wasn’t anything holding him hostage here. You were done being a sad drunk now you were just annoyed.

You pout, refusing to look at him when a low chuckle sounds from his mouth. You turn towards him again, scowling in annoyance. “Stop laughing! You’re being such an asshole.”

“I’m an asshole?” He scoffs playfully, “Why?”

You roll your eyes. He couldn’t be serious. “You’ve been looking at me like i’m stupid all night!”

“We haven’t even been together all night.” You roll your eyes, making him laugh more. “Okay, i’m sorry I was joking.”

You refuse to speak now, staring off at some random painting on the wall like it was an official Van Gogh exclusive. 

“Darling,” His voice is low as he calls for you.

Darling.

You hadn’t been called that since before you left. The nickname has always been his for you, an exclusive that nobody but him could ever call you.

“Why do you do this to me?” You question him, your cheeks growing warm as you fiddle with your fingers. “I understand you must want nothing to do with me after...” You trail off, not knowing how exactly to word anything but continuing anyway, “after everything, but if you hate me so badly then you can just leave.”

He’s silent for a moment too long, making you grow more embarrassed at your sudden outburst. Only Park Jisung was able to drag this kind of reaction out of you. You hear him shift in his seat, the music on the dance floor not anywhere near as loud as the way your heart thumps when he approaches you.

He’s right beside you, standing what you can only assume is straight and tall when he clears his throat. You lift your head up on instinct to meet his gaze, only this time the playful glint from before is gone. He’s nothing short of serious when he finally speaks, “Is that it? You thought I wanted nothing to do with you?””

You’re so close in proximity now, closer than you’ve been in years. He looks behind you but for just one moment before his eyes are back on yours again. You suck in a breath as he leans in close, making sure that you’d be able to hear him over the loud chatter around. 

“I wish that was the case.”

Your brows furrow. What the hell does that mean? “What–“ You don’t have any time to ask, the tall man had already stormed off. 

“What’s up with him?” Aeri asks, taking a seat next to you.

You don’t even know how to reply. If anything his reaction only made everything more confusing. You leaned your head in your hands, groaning in frustration. This was not at all what you had been anticipating when you left, but one thing was for certain, this was only the beginning to your problems.

Part Two: Early December

What difference does it make?

☆ 🎸 ☆

The atmosphere was warm and comforting. He snuggled into your touch, the soft touch of your hand trailing through his hair. He felt himself drift asleep, the tiredness from school and practice enveloping him as the seconds passed. You whispered something, your voice too light to make out. He was too tired to ask though, deciding he could just ask you about it in the morning. His breathing evened out as he allowed himself to rest.

Jisung woke up with a headache that felt like he’d been shot in the head. Twice.

A part of him knew that whatever drink Jeno handed him was probably going to taste like it was mixed with a horse tranquilizer. In his defense, he really did need it. 

Ever since he’d last seen you two weeks ago he couldn’t help but think of you. You overwhelmed every thought in his mind, every dream he had, every daydream. It was a bad idea to stay to chat. It was an even worse one to talk to you. Now you plagued his mind constantly.

He barely had time to explain anything to his hyungs, and lucky for him, they didn’t really ask. They did, however, offer ways of help. That’s how he ended up at parties or bars or clubs after every performance they had. And Mark wasn’t joking when he said the next few months were booked and busy. It seemed like every week he found himself waking up after a night out with a killer migraine, but it beat the alternative. 

Mark didn’t seem so pleased, but as long as the partying wasn’t interfering with practice or actual performances, he would let them go about how they wanted to spend their free time. So for some time, he’d hang around with the guys until they found some girl to take back to a hotel, then he’d call a cab and pass out the second his head hit his pillow. It was a controversial way of living, sure, but it at least left him with an empty mind.

You hadn’t shown up to any other performances. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it at first, but he figured it was for the best. He made his way into the kitchen, the guys laughter from the living room sounding like they were screaming in his ear. They didn’t pay him any attention until he closed the fridge, Jaemin calling out to him as his Sonya Blade completely annihilated Donghyuck’s Johnny Cage. 

“Yo Jisung! Do you wanna play?”

“We still haven’t finished this round, asshole,” Donghyuck replied.

“Yeah but you suck,” Jaemin teases, finishing the round with a signature Fatality.

“You sleep well?” Mark calls out from the other couch, Donghyuck passing him the remote in defeat.

“Uh,” Jisung’s mind drifts for a second, remembering his dream before ignoring the memory. “Sure.”

“You’re pretty quiet,” Mark says plainly, “Anything happen last night?”

“Nothing fun if that’s what you’re implying, dude couldn’t even stand a chance when Jeno passed him that concoction of his.” Donghyuck answers for him, paying no active attention to anything but his phone.

Jeno smiles to himself in the corner, which sounded creepier than it actually was. “That’s not even my go-to, if you want a real drink next time let me know.”

Donghyuck looks up from his phone, offended like Jeno had punched him, “Dude, what kind of monster are you?”

Jaemin laughs maniacally, having beat Mark’s Sub-Zero in record breaking time. 

“Dude? How?” Mark asks in genuine shock, looking over the remote like it had betrayed him.

“He’s a hacker I tell you!” Donghyuck shouts, the sound still too amplified for Jisung’s poor ears.

“I made breakfast,” says Jaemin, ignoring the others' theories. “We already ate so you can help yourself. There’s some pills on the counter too.” 

It hadn’t been that long since they all decided to live together, it made getting to rehearsal easier. The only issue was having to deal with multiple roommates bringing someone back home, the walls weren’t as thin as they hoped. A good pair of noise cancelling headphones later though, and living here was really great.

Jisung was sure if he’d been living alone he would’ve ended up starving to death, so having Donghyuck and Jaemin as roommates was like a gift from the heavens above. As soon as he bit into the Kimchi Stew he felt cured of all things evil, devouring the rest of the meal like he hadn’t eaten in years.

Once he finished and washed his bowl he passed through the living room much more energized than he was moments prior. Mark sat alone now, stretched limbs over the couch as he watched the Animated Spider-Man Series.

“Where’s everyone?”

Mark shrugged, eyes glued to the tv, “Jeno’s in his room probably, Donghyuck went out, and who knows with Jaemin.”

“No practice today?”

“Nope,” he replies, popping the p. “Free day today.”

It was the first Wednesday they had off in almost a month. Jisung pondered for a moment, debating how to spend today, before realizing he had things to do.

“I’m going out!” He yells out after switching into a casual outfit, slipping on his shoes at the door. “I’ll be back later!”

Mark shouts back a quick, “Okay man take care!” Right as Jisung shuts the door. 

Wednesdays were reserved, for the most part, or at least Jisung tried to keep it that way. It was pretty hard though, this new schedule kept him booked and busy with back to back shows and practice. 

He gripped the bag of fruit in one hand, politely knocking on the door and waiting. There was scuffling from inside, someone making their way over to the door. He adjusted his shirt, making sure he didn’t look like he had been run over. 

The door twisted open, revealing you. A plain black shirt, partially revealing the bra you had on with the way it flowed over your shoulders. You wore baggy jeans, the boyfriend style that made him short circuit at the idea of you wearing any one of his clothes that’d fit on you oversized. He could smell your familiar fragrance of cherries, one that he’d assumed you’d eventually outgrow but had proven to be false.

You spoke first, his words stolen out of his mouth before he could even get a greeting out. “What are you doing here?”

He wasn’t sure you meant to come off so accusatory, but you did, his headache from earlier coming back.

“Jisungie!” Your grandma called from behind you. A smile reached his face in an instant.

“Auntie,” He starts, “I apologize for not coming by sooner.”

“Don’t apologize!” She cuts him off, “Come in, come in.”

He nods, removing his shoes as he steps inside the familiar home. “I brought you some fruits, as an apology.”

“Ah you didn’t have to,” She smiles, accepting the bag.

Jisung keeps it in his arms, “It’s a bit heavy, i’ll carry it.”

She nods in thanks, heading towards her kitchen. The entire interaction leaves you standing there, mouth agape, in confusion. Looking at the bag in his hands and back up at him.

“Grandma!” You call after the elderly lady, following her into the kitchen.

He can hear you as you try and speak quietly, you really were bad at whispering, asking the woman why the hell he was here. She ignores you, dicing up more vegetables and adding them into the pot.

“Jisungie, you can sit over there.”

He sets the bag of fruits down on the table, “Ah i’m okay, I can help if you want.”

The lady laughs, “Your hands are better for playing, sit, sit.”

“Ah, yes.” 

You groan in frustration, your grandmother ignoring you as you try to talk to her, telling you to quiet down and take a seat. After a few minutes of lingering around, you finally decide to oblige, taking the seat next to Jisung.

“I asked you a question,” You observe him, looking over him like he was on the FBI’s most wanted list. 

Your grandmother passes him a glass cup that he accepts with thanks. He takes a sip, her banana smoothies were always nothing short of exceptional.

“I always swing by,” He replies, barely sparing you a glance. He knew if he allowed himself to look at you again that he’d be putting himself in a worse position. 

Your brows furrow, he holds back a smile, you were always so easy to read. “Why?” You ask plainly, this time with zero irritation.

He looks over at the woman, hoping you were able to put two and two together. Your grandma was a kind woman, but she was also lonely. Her only child left years ago to start a life elsewhere, and though she was so proud of her, Jisung constantly heard of your mothers accomplishments anytime he visited, he could tell a part of her missed having her daughter around. 

It was different when you lived there, she would watch over the two of you when you were young. Jisung spent most of his time with the two of you since his parents were always away. He started coming over on his own a few weeks after you moved. At first he wanted to make sure that your grandma was doing well, he checked over her house to see if she needed help with anything. She appreciated his visits, cooking for him and telling him to stop by whenever he wanted to.

He stopped by more often after that, at least once a week when he wasn’t busy filling in for random bands around the area. She had been the first to congratulate him when he joined Oblivion. It was nice being around a place that he held so dear to him, even when he knew he should’ve been trying to get over you. A part of him knew that wouldn’t ever happen.

You understood the message clearly, quieting down after that. The atmosphere became dense again, words left unsaid. It was weird, he hadn’t ever expected your conversations to ever be this frail, let alone you ever coming back.

The rest of the day went by quickly, the sun set by the time all three of you finished eating. Your grandma had asked him about different topics, mostly making sure he was well fed and not just running off of junk food like the kids did nowadays.

“Show him out,” Your grandma turned to you.

“Me?” You ask, avoiding your grandma's hand as she began to swat it annoyed. “Why?”

“You ask too many questions,” She replies, making her way back to the kitchen, “Don’t be rude and show him out.”

“Thank you again, auntie!” Jisung calls out. 

“Come by again soon!”

You stand quiet for a moment, sighing and sliding on your shoes before walking ahead of him. “You’ve been here more than me, not sure why you'd need help all of a sudden.”

Jisung barely fails to resist a scoff. It’s like you were trying to make him hate you.

The night air is chilly, your arms hiding into themselves to cling for warmth. He held onto the leftovers your grandmother gave him tighter, the atmosphere proving dangerous to so many of his hidden desires.

You led him outside of the gate, your hand hesitating over the lock. “Thank you,” Your voice was soft and genuine, “for visiting my grandma all this time.”

Jisung paused. He wasn’t sure how to reply, not wanting to ruin the moment but also guarding himself from you. He settled with, “I didn’t do it for you.”  regretting it only slightly after seeing your reaction. He bit his tongue, hoping you were too lost in your own pout to notice his smile.

“I know that!” You scoff, obviously annoyed.

The tongue biting does himself no favors, his smile so obvious now, even to you who refuses to meet his eye. Your expression is different now, you’re hiding something, he knows you well enough to notice it.

“Just say it.”

“What?” You’re startled, looking up at him just as you did before. You were seriously so cute from this angle. He clears his throat, “You always make that face when you want to say something, so i’m telling you to just say it.”

You pause, like a deer caught in headlights, shaking your head the way you always did when you wanted to get the nerves out.

“What did you mean when you said you wished that was the case?”

He snickered, it was so like you to replay such a simple moment in your mind, a conversation in which he was sure you knew exactly what he meant. He leans in again, hoping you won’t be able to hear his heart palpitating, “Nothing, I was drunk.”

Your brows furrow, “You’re lying,” You call his bluff. He only laughs again. “Tell me, please.”

That please was almost his breaking point, the idea of you begging for him flooding his veins with want. He turns away feeling vulnerable, heat pooling in his stomach that he’s so desperately trying to avoid. “You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out.”

He walks away, heading straight for his car with no disruptions. He barely acknowledges the sound of the lock turning, his mind and body racing to leave now before every hint of self respect was lost.

He sat within the driver's seat, his hands gripping the steering wheel with pressure, his head falling forward, a groan escaping his lips. He shouldn’t have come today, he should’ve stayed home and caught up with some very much needed rest.

He needed to forget about you, but it proved to be so much more difficult than just avoiding you. You consumed every fiber of his being, appearing in places he wouldn’t have even imagined, okay maybe your grandma’s house was his fault but you hadn’t been there for the past years so how should he have known. 

He felt like he was going insane. Picturing you in the back of his mind after every show, hooking up with a random girl from the bar after his hyungs suggested it just for him to feel like shit after. And finally, when he decided to put all of his efforts into his music, the second he thought maybe he could finally get over you, you came waltzing back into his life. 

Even now, as much as he tried to piss you off, he knew. There was no winning, not with you. No, when it came to you, he was at complete mercy to you. The worst part was, you didn’t even know it.

☆ 💫 ☆

You laid in your old bedroom, staring up at the ceiling like it could answer all of life’s biggest mysteries for you. You had texted Giselle saying you’d be staying at your grandma’s for a few days, You weren’t even sure she’d read it with how occupied she was the past few days with some random man she’d met dancing at the bar while you dealt with Jisung trying to sober up.

Speaking of the devil, he was the reason you were even awake this late. You had fixed your sleep schedule the first few days of landing, who knew an awkward dinner with your– Jisung.

He’d left after whatever the hell kind of conversation that was, and he didn’t even say bye! Not that you needed it but it would’ve been nice. 

You had been replaying the conversation from earlier in the night in your mind. He didn’t have to be so condescending, since when did he become so.. so stupid!

You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out. 

The worst part is the way he said it. You locked the door as quickly as you could the second he walked away, your heart racing at his attitude. Your cheeks were flushed, your grandma pointed out as she asked why you were so red before you ran up to your room to avoid her.

You reached for the pillow beside you, pulling it over your face as you hid yourself in shame. You were very close to screeching in it, stopping yourself because then you’d have to admit seeing him did something to you.

You let out a sigh, disconnecting your face from the pillow, trying to ease your mind into thinking about something else. You still hadn’t spoken to your mom, you weren’t sure what the woman was planning since it’s the longest time you’ve gone without contacting her about your every move since you lived with your grandma. For some reason you had an overwhelming sense of danger, like there was a ticking time bomb that was close to exploding any second now.

Great, what an amazing way to get your mind off of the raven haired man. Who would’ve thought thinking about how terrible the things were that you had left behind could snap some sense into you. What happened earlier meant nothing. It had to mean nothing. There was too much in jeopardy if you were to admit anything you felt about Jisung, and honestly you were already in deep enough trouble.

As you stepped back into Aeri’s apartment, using her spare key to lock the door you jumped at the sight of a shirtless man in front of you. 

“I’m sorry!” The handsome stranger apologized, calling out to your roommate who walked into the room like this was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Hey.” Aeri walked forward, snatching the bag of leftovers from your hands, peeking into it and observing the food like a vulture.

“Grandma couldn’t help but pack up every last bit of leftovers, said we wouldn’t eat anything otherwise.”

Giselle smiled mischievously, “Send her my regards,” your friend makes her way towards the kitchen, not before eyeing her boy toy who was still standing there, chest out. “Put some clothes on, freak.”

You and Aeri sat down on her table, her fling, that you’d learned was named Eric, long gone as he had some kind of business to take care of. She was scarfing down all of the food you brought back while you sat in front of her with a full stomach from breakfast, a drink in hand.

“What’s wrong with you,” She asked, mid bite of kimchi fried rice. “You look like you barely slept.”

“Nothing,” You regretted answering back so quickly, maybe if you hadn’t then you could’ve hid everything for a bit longer. But your friend could slice you open and dissect you easily.

She set down her spoon, raising an eyebrow. “What happened?”

Let’s see, there were actually way too many things that happened. For starters, your best friend made an appearance at your grandma's house where it turns out he’s been visiting since the day you left town. There was also the fact that for some odd reason you felt like your chest was going to burst after the first full conversation that you shared with him in a long time. 

There were other things, like France and everything you were so scared to talk about because then it would be put into reality and you’d have to actually face your problems face on. The calls from your mother that were becoming more and more persistent these days and it only put into perspective how much time was running out and would eventually catch up to you.

Sometime during your short existential crisis, Aeri’s expression changed from that of suspicion to worry. “You don’t have to talk about it!”

You nodded forcefully, your brain on overdrive, taking a drink from your glass and hoping that the water would be enough to cool your brain back into its normal setting.

Aeri contemplates for a second and you could practically see the lightbulb light up above her head as an idea sparks through her mind. “I have an idea!”

“I couldn’t notice.” You reply dryly.

“Come with me, tonight.”

That’s right, that Eric guy had mentioned some DJ gig he had at some club across town tonight, inviting the two of you to attend with free drink vouchers he had attained as per agreement with the club owner. 

You weren’t so sure going out would help sort your thoughts out, but you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that a few free drinks sounded very convincing at this moment. You wanted to let loose enough that you could barely count your problems on one hand, and what better way to do that than a night of alcohol? What’s the worst that could happen? 

Aeri’s never ending connections never really seemed to phase you these days. The two of you had made it into the club faster than you’d ever made it into anywhere in your life. The air outside was way too cold for you to be in the outfit you had on but Aeri refused to let you go out without either a skirt or dress three inches above your knee. So here you stood in line to pick up a glass of really anything strong, three shots of soju deep that wasn’t hitting hard enough for your liking.

Your friend had been escorted on stage about an hour ago, joining Eric’s side as he played music that was actually not so bad considering he was a man. Your body swayed to the rhythm of the music as you awaited your mystery drink from the cute bartender who had complimented your boots, after which she introduced herself as Heejin.

“Thank you!” You shouted over the loud music as she slid over the mystery glass, earning a warm smile from her before she moved onto the next drink.

You crossed through the crowd with your drink pressed tightly beside you as you tried to navigate through the group of people surrounding the bar to make it back to the front of the dance floor that had become more chaotic than before as the night went on.

The music was loud enough to fill your entire body, the heavy bass sounding through your every cell. You tried squeezing through a couple that were a little over crossing the line of dancing and full on intercourse, catching your balance as you tripped a bit over someone’s foot. 

You breathed out a sigh, regretting your choice of drink when the shots had clearly traveled their journey from your stomach  into your veins, the buzz taking its effect on you. Aeri waved from above, Eric’s hands around her waist as he back hugged her. You had a feeling your friend might keep this guy a bit longer than she usually did.

You took sips of your drink, trying to get through whatever insane mixture it was, plugging your nose as you chugged it down. Better to drink the rest of it before the buzz wore off and you ended up with a shitty drink in your hand.

More songs passed, time moving on what felt like another dimensional plane. You were just as buzzed as you wanted to be, aware enough to take care of yourself and drunk enough to not overthink it. You danced and danced, until your drink was completely finished, opting to get water just so you wouldn’t die of dehydration.

Before you could reach the bar a random dancer bumped into you a little harshly, almost knocking you over if it weren’t for the hand at your waist catching you. You sucked in a breath, the familiar scent of citrus with an underlying woody aroma masking the slightest hint of smoke, there was no way.

His voice was low with warning when he spoke from behind you, “Watch where you’re going.” He directed towards the man who had knocked into you. Your skin buzzed, his touch warm and comforting even if you convinced yourself the last thing you wanted was to see him again.

The man uttered an apology, leaving you to turn and face the man you had been drinking to forget all night. 

“Should I refer to you as my personal stalker now?”

He chuckled though it sounded fake, “A babysitter sounds more like it when i’m the one always having to watch over you.”

You scoff, “I didn’t need you just now.”

“Yeah i’m sure you would’ve much rather fell straight on your ass.”

His eyes roamed over your body, taking in every fiber of your appearance. You resisted a blush, being seen in such a spectacle by him was out of the ordinary, his usual calm demeanor faltering at the result of your mini skirt. There’s a new sense of warmth pooling in your stomach, one you can’t blame on the alcohol, you brush it off.

“What do you want Jisung? Are you here to kill the mood?”

“I’m here because I spotted a lost kitten that needed rescuing.”

The nickname should gross you out more than it really does. You frown, this time really taking in the appearance of the man. On the surface he looked just about as irritating as usual, sporting a grey graphic tee you could successfully guess was a band from the eighties worn atop a pair of distressed jeans. You looked up at him, his face and neck the slightest shade of rose. 

“You’re drunk.” It’s not a question, more so a state of disbelief.

“Buzzed now,” He doesn’t even deny it, “sobered up outside about an hour ago.”

He must’ve still been drunk enough to be so willing to share that, regardless you laugh, as if you caught him committing a crime. “Wow, I can’t believe I get to see Park Jisung drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“No?” You raise a brow, stepping closer to him. You were glad to have caught him like this, it was so much easier to read him when he was buzzed. You took notice of every detail he could give you, the way his breath hitched just as you moved forward, the way his eyes trailed over your face falling onto your lips, and the way his brows crinkled with worry as if he was holding onto every last ounce of his sanity.

“Don’t,” He whispered, more so to himself than you. You were having a bit of fun now, the game of cat and mouse the two of you played since the moment you spotted him on stage now giving you the upper hand. You debated playing with him a little more, ultimately deciding to take a different approach.

“Fine.” You smirked, pulling away from him, his disapproval evident in the way his face fell flat as you widened the distance.

You turned away, not really sure where exactly you were going but knowing he was following close behind anyway.

“Where are you going?”

You snigger, “I thought you didn’t want me here.”

He was so easy right now, excuse you if you wanted to keep the upper hand for a while longer. There were less people here than where the two of you stood moments prior, the lights from the dance floor dimmed from this section of the club. 

“You’re being childish.” He called out, making you turn on your heel.

“Why?” You're back in his face, this time all fire. “Because i’m doing just as you wanted?” 

He smiles, this time approvingly. A sense of uneasiness fills you, second guessing just how much of this interaction was really you having the upper hand. 

“Is that what you’re doing?” He asks, his voice a low whisper barely audible over the music if you weren’t so hyperaware of everything he says or does, he gets even closer. “Or are you just being fussy cause I didn’t want to kiss you?”

It was the first time any of you had come so close to acknowledging the tension the two of you built up. Your heart skipped a beat, what you could only assume was the alcohol telling you to lean into him closer.

“Is that the truth?” You finally build the courage to speak, taking note of Jisung’s gaze fixated on your lips. “Cause If I could make one guess right now, I’d say you’re lying.”

“I’m not.” He replies, though he doesn’t sound like he’s even convinced himself.

“Then prove it.”

The last thing you wanted was for him to leave you hanging, but call it an inkling or a gift of the prophecy, a part of you knew he wouldn’t be able to walk away. Not with the way his hand had somehow found its way around your waist again, pulling you even closer than you’d been moments prior.

You were always the impatient type, so it was you who ultimately gave in, leaning into him to finally close the distance that felt like it was holding on by a thread. He reacted slowly, his breath hitching as your mouth met his, the kiss experimental yet powerful. Before either of you could deepen it you pulled away, a part of you waiting for a reaction you were honestly quite terrified of. You were beginning to turn away when you felt him move, his grip on your wrist firm but not uncomfortable as he spinned you to meet his eyes once more.

You barely had a chance to apologize when he kissed you. This time without the worry of the two of you finding out just how much each other wanted this, this time with both your hearts on the line. You kissed each other roughly, all of the pent up anger from before taking its course in the way you tasted each other.

It felt like a zap of electricity through you. The way his palm cupped your face as the kiss became heavier, every second building the very fire you had been fighting against. 

You’d never expected any of this, and though you knew in the back of your mind that every part of this was wrong and that you couldn’t stay here forever, you pushed it back into the corner.

The both of you tore away from each other for a moment to breathe, the look in your eyes suggesting that the last thing you wanted was to be apart. 

“Bathroom?” You suggested the first place you could think of that wasn’t far enough to give you both time to second guess anything.

He laughed, your heart churned at the idea that he might’ve changed his mind, but that same panic ceased when he spoke.

“I know one place better.”

☆ 🎸 ☆

You had barely given Jisung anytime to shut the door and twist the lock before capturing his lips into yours again. He thought back through the night, the glimpse he’d gotten of you passing through the bar that he convinced himself was a ghost of his imaginations now standing in front of him, tasting of alcohol and something sweet as you kissed him with no worries in the world.

He had brought you to one of the private rooms this club had that he only found out through the guys’ excessive use of them. Every club this big had made for VIP guests and of course musicians, though they weren’t that famous enough to have access to that begged the question of how Jeno had secured access to this place. A thought that slipped his mind the second your tongue swiped against his bottom lip for permission to deepen the kiss.

He accepted, your mouths clashing in what was all desperate in a drunk frenzy. You let out a low moan, one that only made his pants grow tighter.

You pulled back, all confidence from earlier gone, your eyes hazed and cheeks flushed as you finally took a moment to soak up the surrounding area. He held back a smile, you looked like you were trying your hardest to stay on this plane of existence, trying to calm your heavy breathing.

“What’s this place?”

“Exclusive VIP room.” He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. Your face slipped for just a split moment. He thought maybe saying that would give you ideas, ones he didn’t want you to have of him. He opened his mouth to speak again but you cut him off, a shimmer of mischief in your eyes as you noticed the couch sitting against the wall of the room.

“Well since you know this place so well,” You tugged his arm towards the couch, giving him space to take a seat before climbing on top of him. “Why don’t you let me take the lead?”

Jisung knew his ears were hot to the touch, hoping it at least came off as the alcohol even though his body told enough to point out that you were the reason alone for his current state of disarray. His hands found their way around your hips as you connected lips again, this one building up to be heavier than the ones before.

The needy sounds you made before pulling away just to kiss around his throat, you wanted to mark him as your own, not knowing just how much he had already been yours. He let out a groan when your hips rocked against him incidentally, or maybe not when you smiled so proudly before grinding down again, this time with much more intention.

His voice came out breathy, “You’re drunk.” He repeated your words from earlier to you. His grip on your hips tighter, trying to keep you from pressing down against his growing erection.

“So are you.”

There was another meaning to the excuse, the both of you knowing internally how much was on the line. The last thing Jisung wanted to do was to let you go, it had been a century since he last felt your touch and he couldn’t imagine going through it all over again, but the last thing he wanted was for you to change your mind in the morning.

“I don’t want you to regret this,” He spoke probably the most honest that he’d been with you in a long time.

Your palm cups his face, staring into his soul when you reply. “I’ve never regretted any moment i’ve ever shared with you.”

You kiss him again, this one short yet burning with the shared promise that he accepts. His breath is knocked out as you both find the same quick rhythm as before. It’s all breathing and taking in each other with every suck of skin now, bruises forming on your delicate neck that he couldn’t resist but to taint just as you did to him.

You shift above him giving enough space for him to slip your petty excuse of a skirt up, your panties soaking with your arousal. He pulls you directly on his fully hard bulge in his pants, a loud moan pulled from your lips as you feel the stimulation to your clit even through the fabric.

“Fuck–“ You curse loudly, his strong hands forcing you to move harder against him. “Sung please.”

Jisung wasn’t sure just how much harder he could get, the plea in your voice going straight to his dick. He loved just how needy you could get, even though you refused to admit it every time he pushed you to that point. You were full of pride, that’s why it was so fun to play with you, to see that facade break and to get you to admit every truth you had hidden, one by one.

He wanted to test your limits now, and what better way to do that than talk to you just as you really wanted. “Come on darling,” he reused the old nickname that always worked on you, “I thought you were the one taking the lead?”

You groaned out in part annoyance and pleasure, “F- fuck you.”

“Maybe next time,” He smirked, capturing your lips again, sucking up your moans while helping you chase your high. Your thighs felt like fire, grinding faster and rougher against him, his groans matching yours as the both of you felt your climax approaching.

Jisung’s mind slipped into imagining another scenario in which you were riding his thigh all by yourself. He couldn’t help but think about how lucky he’d feel being used by you to get yourself off almost coming in his pants just thinking about it.

“Ji please i’m so close,” Your voice pulled him from his thoughts and instead to take in the you who was right in front of him. Your panties proved you right, wetter than before and soaking up all of the juices that fought to come out of you. 

He knew he wasn’t that far from finishing either, the last time he jerked off being a month ago so the dry spell wasn’t helping him last longer anyway. “Me too darling, come with me.”

The nickname triggered your orgasm, your juices spilling out of you as you clenched around nothing, wishing you could have come with him inside you and not just from the pressure on your clit. Nonetheless your body felt like you had just reached nirvana.

“I’m sorry my darling girl,” Jisung whispered a quick apology when he heard your whine, the last few movements overstimulating you but enough to get him off untouched. He bit his lip, holding in his sounds as he came in his pants, feeling all kinds of relief with a mixture of embarrassment now since the last time he came in his pants was back in high school.

“Fuck,” he sounded breathless, looking down to see the wet mark you left on his jeans, his cock firming slightly at the sight.

The room was silent, except for the muffled music from outside where the club was still in full swing. Your body was warm, slumped against him in an almost domestic way. His hand found its way to your hair, scratching your head and earning a small purr of comfort from your lips. 

He’s not sure how long the two of you sat like that, time had lost all meaning when he was surrounded by you. Your voice trembled out almost regretfully, “We shouldn’t do this again.”

He knew it was coming just as it did before, the memories of the shared night between the two of you right before you completely disappeared springing into his mind again. 

“I wouldn’t ever hurt you.” He whispered to you, oblivious to how your fear never stemmed from him hurting you. You stopped yourself from crying, knowing everything that he didn’t. 

You kissed him over and over again, as many times as you could hoping it would convey your deepest affections to him.

His heart beamed, every single moment of happiness in his life could never result to the way he felt now. And when you pulled back this time, you met his eyes so full of love that you were so scared of admitting yourself. He always wore his feelings for you so open and honest. 

“I want you,” You spoke slowly at first, hoping that he’d understand what you meant without having to finish the sentence. He sat there innocently, brows furrowed. You let out a shaky breath, “I want you to be my first.”

The night that almost felt like a dream now, one that he could never forget. One that he was aware of that ended with you never speaking to him again and not coming back for five years.

With that he sighed, “You’re right.”

And though the two of you seemingly didn’t want whatever any of this was, none of you took the initiative to leave. Clinging onto the silence like it was the only way you could keep time frozen, and keep hold of one another.

Part Three: Mid December

Stained Glass Eyes and Colorful Tears

☆ 💫 ☆

You really did mean it when you said you shouldn’t do this again, it’s not your fault that somehow for the past few weeks the two of you ended up meeting up more than once. 

His hands made towards your shirt, removing the garment with a swift motion as he pinned you against the door. You caught his lips, biting down enough to make him wince before wiping your tongue over the spot. 

He pulls away chuckling, wiping at his mouth with his thumb. “You’re impatient today.”

You don’t deny it, instead further proving his point by removing his shirt. He smiles and you can’t help but want to wipe the stupid cockiness off his face. Instead of biting his face off you kiss him again, hot and heavy. There was nothing you needed more than him right now.

He seemed to feel the same, or at least understand how badly you’d been wanting him since the second you showed up unwarranted at the Oblivion practice room. You knew he was going to be busy all week, so why not stop by for a quick greeting in holiday spirits. 

“You’re busy aren’t you?” You reply to his earlier statement, unbuttoning his pants as he kissed down your neck. You can feel him laugh from where he stands, pulling away from you ever so slightly making you pout. Why did he always have to drag it out? You could probably show up with nothing but his T-shirt on and a pair of panties under and he’d probably still find a way to make you whine before giving in.

“No, not for another thirty minutes until the guys come in.”

You shrug, “We have enough time then.” Your hand reaches into where you undid his pants, pulling a sharp gasp from the raven haired man. 

He groans before grabbing your wrist, “You’re really going to regret starting this.” 

Maybe you were, but it’s not like your mind was fixed on how this arrangement would ruin everything and only create more chaos, right now you just needed to touch him and preferably get off some time within the next half hour. 

He gave in, lifting you up where your legs wrapped around his waist as he brought you to the relaxing side of the room filled with a mini fridge, bean bag chairs, and finally a couch that he set you down on. 

“Are you gonna fuck me now?” You said blatantly. It wasn’t that you both hadn’t gone the whole way, for fucks sake you’d fucked before you even left in the first place, but you knew for some reason he was holding back from completely giving in. The last few hook ups were mostly handjobs or his tongue and fingers but you were starting to grow a little more desperate. Clearly.

He ignores your question, pulling your pants off of you and eyeing the set you had slipped on with no ulterior motives, truly. You were only trying to see if maybe lingerie was more his style, who were you to decline him if he finally decided to get you off with more than just his fingers? 

“Darling,” His voice was laced with want as he took in just how much you were dolled up for him. “Are you trying to drive me crazy?”

“That depends,” you muttered, “is it working?” 

He dives back onto your lips, answering with his tongue because talking was overrated anyway. You moaned into the kiss, gripping onto his back, the muscular muscle was admittedly not what you were expecting when you first saw him without a shirt but it was not something you were opposed to either.

You whined into his mouth as he pulled away again, all frustrations bursting as you cried out, “Are you fucking serious?”

He giggled, like you were a damn comedian and not two seconds away from pinning him down and riding him until you could finally feel relief. The bastard would probably find a way to make you beg even if that were the case. That was a great tactic for another day though.

“Relax,” He uttered, kissing down your neck and chest all the way until he reached your lower belly, to which he liked a stripe just over the hem of the fabric. You sucked in a breath, he was so close to where you needed him now, his breath fanning against your clothed cunt that began clenching down on nothing, just desperate to be touched.

“Fuck Darling your thighs,” He sucked down on them everywhere that he could. “You don’t know how many times i’ve imagined them, how much i’ve been holding back from leaving them without any marks every time you showed up in front of me with your legs on full display.”

His fingers smoothed over your skin, the redness blooming against your thighs where the bruises had already begun to form. He lifted your legs up sliding off your panties before  throwing them over his shoulder. Your heart raced, was he finally giving in?

He pulled his hard length out of his jeans, pumping his huge size twice for good measure. You salvitated at the sight, it was long with a slight girthiness, a long thick vein passing through the middle just barely meeting his pink tip. You’d gotten a taste before and could barely wrap your whole mouth around it without gagging let alone the whole length. You imagined taking it now with zero prep.

“Wait!” You called out, “I don’t think it’ll fit just like that sungie.” 

It definitely wouldn’t, but you didn’t want to kill the vibe when you’d been begging him to fuck you for days.

He chuckled, “I know baby, so keep your legs closed tight for me alright?”

You didn’t have time to ask, you felt his size squeeze between your thighs, the wetness of your arousal being the only form of lubrication as his cock slid against your cunt. You let out a high pitch moan as he made contact with your clit.

He holds onto your legs, keeping them from moving as he slowly begins to thrust. You felt the air knocked out of your lungs, the feeling so pleasurable and despite the fact that he wasn’t fucking you it felt like he was. 

“Fuck–“ You whine as he built a pace, the slide rough and desperate. You hardly had any control with how good it felt, your entire body was like putty.

He groaned, “Come on darling, keep your legs tight it’ll feel better.”

You nodded, closing your eyes as you tried your hardest to keep your voice quiet which proved to be harder than you were expecting with how insane every movement rubbed your clit. Jisung was out of breath, probably using up what was the last of his control to make sure not to completely slip inside you. 

His hand came forward suddenly, undoing the clasp of your bra.  Before you could ask, you felt as he began to fondle your breasts, teasing his thumb against your sensitive nipple. You were about to moan when you heard it. The muffled sound of his phone ringing from wherever the fuck he’d left it in this room. 

He let out a groan that you only assumed was annoyance, choosing to disregard the call to focus on getting the both of you off. You were close, you felt it in the way your legs shook and the pressure in your stomach threatened to snap. Jisung didn’t look like he was going to last much longer either, his hold on your legs faltering as his thrusts became sloppier. 

“Ji- jisung please,” Your body was threatening to release at any moment now, when suddenly you felt him slip, the tip of his cock sliding ever so slightly into your pussy. It stung but it was enough to finally trigger your orgasm, a desperate plea of his name over and over again until you finally came down from your high. 

His ruts continued this time at a faster pace as he reached his own peak, the cum spilling out of you helping him slide against you faster. “Fuck baby i’m gonna cum.”

You nodded, a whine leaving your lips as he finished, a few final movements to milk out his orgasm. You fought to keep your eyes open, watching the way his warm liquid covered your stomach, clenching at the thought of it filling you instead.

He tried to steady himself as he came down, bringing one of his hands up to run through his hair where small beads of sweat had formed. The room was silent save for the two of you trying to catch your breaths. A few seconds later you felt him move followed by a piece of fabric on your stomach.

“Sorry,” he whispered shyly. You almost laughed, the cuteness of his just too adorable to go unnoticed. 

“It’s okay, I liked it.”

The tips of his ears had gone red, and you knew he was embarrassed because he avoided any eye contact with you, instead cleaning off the, honestly impressive, amount of cum he’d left on you as well as what was dripping down your thighs.

When he finished he helped you slide your clothes back on, the act being a bit intimate if you thought about it too much. So you didn’t, instead paying all of your attention to his body that you wished you appreciated more in the moment. He was fairly sculpted, his abs detailed, you wanted so badly to run your hands against them.

“Are you already imagining round two?” He broke the silence, the shyness from earlier replaced with his same old cocky demeanor, only this time instead of it making you want to strangle him, you found yourself smiling. 

“Hmm. Maybe,” You fake a thought, “now i’m thinking about the next time you’ll be free.”

He smiles, and for the first time in a long time you feel your heart beat faster remembering just how happy it made you to make him smile. You allow yourself this moment now, being close enough to him that you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. It wouldn’t last long that’s for sure, but you knew this time at least he wouldn’t be the one with his heart on the line.

“There’s a festival we have booked next week, a Christmas one,” He starts, voice low, “I’d want you to go.”

You don’t even allow yourself time to think about it, already having known about the festival since Aeri had brought it up a few weeks ago, granted at the time you didn't know that their band was part of the performing list but it made the decision to go easier.

“Then I will.”

It was a simple answer, one he appreciated a lot by the way his cheeks reddened. He was about to speak when there was a knock from the door. His eyes widened in horror, picking up his phone from where it was long forgotten on the floor to check the time. 

He rushed forward to throw on his clothes, the frightened hamster look on his face getting worse with every knock. You had to hold in a laugh, the situation just too awkward to fully process.

You stood up as casual as you could look with your hair tussled, skin slick with sweat, and a subtle shake in your legs. Jisung ran towards the door with you following right behind him to take the exit as soon as he opened it.

He opened it, revealing a tan skinned man who looked not at all happy. “Hey,” The guy you now recognized as the lead singer from up on stage spoke, “What the fuck took you so damn long, i’ve been waiting here in the freezing cold!”

“Don’t you have a key?” Jisung replies.

“I lost that shit two weeks ago,” he pauses, “don’t tell Mark.”

It’s only then that the man registers you, not having noticed you standing right behind Jisung’s tall frame. His brows raised, like he was trying to decipher who the hell you were and why you were in their practice room when Jisung wasn’t really the type to bring a fan into their spaces. He runs his eyes over the two of you, noting the disheveled hair and clothes. 

Right when the guy was about to speak to you, Jisung grabbed onto your hand, and with a quick kiss to your cheek, he helped you sneak around the other male, muttering a “See you soon, darling.” As you did your best to scurry away before the man could ask you any questions.

“It was nice meeting you?” The man yells almost like a question.

You find yourself laughing the second you’ve put enough distance, what should’ve felt way more embarrassing felt ecstatic. One thing was for certain, you would never regret him.

☆ 🎸 ☆

“Alright everyone, we can take a break now.” Mark uttered, setting down his guitar to begin stretching his arms. 

This practice had lasted roughly two hours so far. Usually Jisung would be dying for a break when they hit the hour and half mark but this time he was anything but happy about it.

“Yo Jisung Park,” Donghyuck set the mic down, running towards Jisung in record time speed, stopping him as he made his way over to the mini fridge. “You gonna come clean now? ”

Jisung rolled his eyes, Donghyuck had been dying to get more information out of him he knew it because throughout practice after every song the brunette would stare at him with an uncomfortable smirk on his face. He was only able to avoid it because Mark, Jeno, and Jaemin all came in a minute after you left. When Jisung refused to acknowledge the singer he only added, “Or maybe you already did that.”

He was seconds away from shushing him until Jaemin joined the conversation. Poking into Jisung’s arm, “What’s this guy on about, huh? You keeping secrets now?” 

Jisung barely had time to speak when Jeno suddenly spoke from beside him, “Ah ah we don’t allow secrets here.”

“Didn’t you keep a secret about hooking with Mark’s noona?” Jisung spat towards Jaemin, his wide smile never leaving his face.

“Anymore,” the lead guitarist replied, “We don’t keep secrets anymore.”

“I forgave him a long time ago,” Mark shrugged, an apple in his hand as he took a seat in one of the bean bags. “So what’s got Hyuck on your ass?”

Donghyuck answered before Jisung could, not that he would’ve since he’d recently gotten really good at stalling, “Jisung brought a girl here.”

Jaemin gasped in his typical dramatic flare, “When was this?”

“Earlier today!” Donghyuck answered, earning a scowl from Jisung that he ignored, “She left right before you guys showed up.”

“What about it?” Jisung retorted, patience waning, “You guys bring girls over all the time.”

“That’s true for most of us, but what’s surprising is that it was you.” Mark answered, biting into his apple.

“That’s not all either–“

“Donghyuck don’t–“

“A hunch of mine tells me she’s more than just a friend or a fan.”

That got Jeno’s attention, “Oh? Do we know her?”

Jisung rolled his eyes. Out of all of the people in this room that could’ve found out, why did it have to be Donghyuck?

“We’ve definitely heard of her, my guess is it’s that friend from highschool. Ning, was it?” 

“Couldn’t be, i’ve met her and I'm like ninety-nine percent sure her type is not Jisung.” Mark adds.

“Jisungie wouldn’t just sleep with anyone, this has to be someone important to him.” Jaemin pondered.

Jisung groaned, “Who said anything about sleeping–“

“Quiet, hyungs talking,” Jaemin fluttered his lashes, “So if I were Park Jisung and i’m bringing a girl back that I don’t want my hyungs to see then it would have to be—“ He turns around, facing everyone as he snaps his finger, “Mark’s noona.”

“Man?” Mark frowns from where he’s sitting.

Jisung resists the urge to argue when Donghyuck speaks again, “Wasn’t her, I saw the girl. She’s hot alright, might even be a bit out of your league.”

“Who would it be then,” Jeno asks aloud, taking a shot in the dark with his next answer, “Y/N?”

Jisung knows just how obvious he is when the sound of your name alone is enough to make him freeze.

“Y/N?” Donghyuck practically shouts, “the same y/n that disappeared half way across the world?”

Jisung knew one of these days he’d regret going out for drinks with his friends and showing up back at the apartment wasted. Unfortunately for him, he becomes quite the chatterbox after one too many drinks, and his favorite topic is you.

“No fucking way!”

“When did she come back?”

“Can we meet her?”

He ignored all of the questions they asked, looking to Mark desperately for some help, since he was the only one who they all really listened to. Mark cleared his throat, “Guys come on don’t pressure him if he doesn’t wanna talk about it then he doesn’t need to.” Jisung smiled, thankful for Mark’s effort to back him up.

Mark stood up from his seat then, tossing the core of his now finished apple into the trash, “But I am curious on what she was doing here.”

Jisung shut his eyes in disbelief but mostly just acceptance, the rest of the guys starting over with their round of questions until he finally decided to shut it down. “Fine. Yes, I was with y/n. Yes, she did come back and it was a few weeks ago. And no you can not meet her if you guys keep acting like this.”

Donghyuck points and laughs at the others, “I already met her.” 

Jisung shook his head, was this really his life? 

“Wait,” Jeno started, “You didn’t answer Mark's question.”

Jisung’s face goes red, he turns away trying to avoid any and all eye contact as he walks towards the mini fridge, Mark really made that apple look good.

“Uh Oh he’s hiding something!” Jaemin cackles maniacally. Jisung still wonders what makes women attracted to him and not just want to file a restraining order on him, he was clearly insane.

“Wait.” Donghyuck thinks for a moment. Looking back on when he first ran into Jisung and you, the way you both stood like deers in headlights, how protective he was of you, the way you wobbled away. “Oh my god. You guys were fucking in here weren’t you?”

Jisung took a second too long to dismiss the older’s claim, the others collectively gasping as they realized Donghyuck was right.

“I knew it!” Donghyuck cried, “Oh my god Jisung. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“We didn’t fuck!” Jisung replied since technically it was true, you both hadn’t gone all the way.

“Man please don’t tell me it was where I was sitting.” Mark’s frown grew worried.

“We didn’t have sex on the bean bag Mark,” Jisung reassured the guitarist, him sighing in relief.

“But you did have sex.”

Jisung groaned, if he had to admit it just to get the rest to shut up then perhaps what was the harm. He thought back to you. If he admitted that the two of you had a sex life and that  wasn’t something you wanted everyone to know, he would never forgive himself. In the end he let the guys do what they do best. 

Theorize. 

“If they did have sex it would’ve had to have been on the couch.” Jaemin concluded like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Jeno shook his head, “Gross man, I nap there sometimes.”

“Alright guys that’s enough, break is over.” Mark called, the rest of the guys groaning as they walked back to their places, tuning and adjusting their instruments.

Jisung was about to walk back with the group when Mark stopped him, “Look, i’m not going to bug you or anything but I just want to make sure that you know what you’re doing. You’re not just my bandmate you’re all like a family to me, and I know things didn’t end too well with y/n the last time so I just want you to know,” He took in a breath. “I’m here for you.”

Mark always meant what he said, and though he wasn’t the type to meddle as the others did, he only took a step in when he wanted to make sure everything was okay. He cared a lot about the guys, and in the same way he said it, Jisung always viewed him the same way. Growing up an only child they were the closest thing to brothers that he would ever have. And since he didn’t really have his family around, all he had was them.

He nodded at Mark, “Don’t worry, I have a good feeling about this time.” Mark hummed, making his way towards his own place, Jisung following right after him.

☆ 💫 ☆

“You’ve been suspiciously busy lately,” Aeri stated as she observed you from where she sat in the living room, eyeing your body from head to toe. 

“Good afternoon to you too?” You said, unscrewing the cap from the water bottle you stopped at the kitchen to grab, gulping down the liquid because running away after sex really did make you dehydrated.

Aeri scrunches her face, “You had sex with Jisung didn’t you?”

You choke on your water, coughing and surprising the girl enough for her to get up to pat your back. Once you finally regain composure you look at her again, contemplating how to answer when your own body practically gave it away. “I—“

“Was probably never going to tell me right?” Aeri rolls her eyes, “you and your darn secrets, have I ever kept a secret from you?”

Right as she says that, a woman you aren’t sure you’ve ever met steps out from her room, a baggy t-shirt on with splotches of red and purple marks on her neck, waving a quick hi before asking where the restroom is, to which Aeri points to the down the hall door to the left. 

Your eyebrow arches at your friend, no question needed since she understands exactly what you’re trying to imply. “Yoona isn't a secret!”

Yoona emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, now without the marks on her neck being visible, the power of makeup. She offers a quick bow to the two of you before waving at Aeri to call her later. You make a face as in, hello there’s your secret right there.

Aeri tries again, “Yoona isn’t a secret, she's a new edition!” 

“I didn’t even know you were into girls.”

“Yeah well neither did I until I volunteered at the meat association and met a girl named Hazel.”

“What?”

“Not the point,” Aeri changes the subject from her back to you because the two of you had been friends for long enough that she knew how much you loved to deflect. “You’re keeping secrets, you have been since the beginning and usually I would let you just come to me on your own time but now i’m really worried about you.”

You sigh, “Aeri, there’s nothing for you to worry about I can handle this on my own—“

“Really?” She cuts you off, her tone is far from angry and more so coming from a place of worry, “Cause you’ve been ignoring any and all calls from your mom for the past week that she even somehow found my number and tried to ask if I knew anything about where you were.”

Your heart stopped, suddenly feeling sick. It was stupid to think that your mom would just let you leave, she wasn’t the type. She was calculated, she knew how to handle things. Of course she wasn’t going to just allow for you to leave without knowing exactly where you were going. The call to Aeri wasn’t really her asking, it was a warning to you.

“Hey,” Aeri calls out again, “I’m not mad or anything I’m just worried. Jisung is my friend too, and I know that if you’re getting involved with him again and this ends up the same way as before then— I really don’t know how he will react a second time.”

You take in a breath, thinking over her words. Your leaving wasn’t going to affect Jisung, the two of you barely started hanging out together you were sure you meant at most, nothing to the guy other than someone he felt comfortable enough sleeping with. The only one who was going to end up heartbroken was going to be you, and you’d make sure of it. 

“Jisung doesn’t like me, not like he used to.” You respond flatly, though now a part of you isn’t sure how true that is anymore.

“Okay,” Aeri sighs in defeat, “If that’s what you think.”

You stand still for a moment, your friend taking her seat on the couch once more as if the conversation had never happened, because Aeri was like that. If you weren’t going to come clean then she wasn’t going to force you to, but she sure as hell was going to make sure you thought things over a bit.

The festival was much more packed than you had expected, with loads of trucks and vendors surrounding the place targeting any and all visitors who were awaiting their favorite bands' sets to begin. You took a deep breath, the anxiousness in your body only getting worse since you first started getting ready with Aeri earlier in the day.

You were a bit nervous, but more specifically shy to see Jisung perform. He mentioned that he would more than likely be busy most of the day, but he’d definitely find you after the show because there was a lot he needed to tell you. So now you stood here, Aeri having escaped from your grip to go check out some candy apple stand that honestly you should’ve gone to check out with her but the idea of eating anything right now only made you feel like you’d vomit. 

It didn’t help that you dressed up with a skirt, the pair of linen tights were the only thing keeping you from freezing since you had forgotten to bring a thicker jacket. The sun would be setting soon, so you hoped that the crowd would be able to produce enough uncomfortable heat that would help keep you from freezing.

You let Aeri know that you were going to be waiting around, maybe checking a few early performances before Oblivion had to go in, scheduled about an hour from now. So you did, squeezing through a few people to hear this newer up and coming band called Cosmic Love. 

By the third song you felt a sneaky hand wrap around your waist, a gasp pulled from your throat at the contact before you noticed who exactly it was. Behind a stupid black cap that barely hid his eyes, and a black mask that at least did a little better at not giving the man’s identity away if it weren’t for you being able to recognize his tall lanky figure in an instant. 

“You’re cheating?” He teased, looking over at the band that were still performing on stage. 

“It’s a girl band i’m cheering for, is that still considered cheating?”

He nods as if it were obvious, making you erupt in giggles that you were lucky weren’t loud enough to drag the audience's eyes onto you both. Jisung wasn’t exactly unknown, the band had a pretty solid fanbase now so people noticing the Oblivion’s bassist out in the crowd would definitely pull a reaction.

You can tell he’s smiling through his uncovered eyes. He leans in closer, pulling the mask down slightly to whisper, “Come with me, I want to show you something.”

You agree, holding onto his hand as he drags you away, music fading into the background. The two of you make it to what you assume is the artist's rooms, groups of trailers with different names written all over the place, leading you to the one with Oblivion written on it.

The room is silent, except for the distant music that you could hear from the stage being only a few feet away. You looked around, taking in the room around you. The heater was definitely on, since it was warmer than outside, other than that it was pretty empty. Most of the space was taken up with the band's equipment and a random table with uno cards left all over it. 

You raised a brow, grabbing onto one of the cards and turning your attention back over to Jisung, who stood coolly, his eyes already on you before you even turned around. 

“You brought me here to play uno?”

He laughed, “Yeah, picked you from the crowd just to make you eat four cards.”

“Hey,” you argue playfully, “I’m actually really good at uno!”

He hummed, walking towards you steadily, urging you to continue.

“I’m serious!” You grin just as he finally makes it straight to your face, his hands coming up around your waist again making your heart flutter.

The two of you stay like that for a moment, breathing in each other's scents as he pulls you into his hold. You pray that he couldn’t hear how hard your heart was beating, or if he did that he at least wouldn’t ask. He smelled the same he always did, only this time slightly of cherries. 

“I missed you.” He broke the silence, his voice barely over a whisper.

You were thankful for the position now, his face in your neck allowing your body to be a bit more vulnerable, warmth spreading on your face with just how intimate the moment felt.

You didn’t have time to respond when the front door slammed open, a group of men walking in with one who you recognized in as the guy who definitely knew you and Jisung were fucking since he had caught you guys a week prior, the other being that dude with a creepy smile. Jisung had already moved away from your hold, well not fully, as his hand still held onto you in an almost protective way.

“You?” your eyes widened, the creepy smile guy making the same expression as you only with his wide smile on display. “You’re that one guy from the hallway!”

“You’re Y/N right?” The lead singer answers, assuming he was the one you were referring to. Your brows furrow, “It was just a hunch, i’m Donghyuck.” He says cutting you off again.

Jisung groans, “What are you guys doing here, I thought you guys were busy sneaking around and grabbing food!”

“Yeah well we did too,” The quiet one with a mole under his eye interrupts, “Until we turned around and noticed our only bassist had disappeared.”

Jisung doesn’t respond to that. You try to hold back a smile, wondering if he had left the group after he spotted you.

Smiley dude sighs walking towards where the two of you stood, “Look it would be different if it were Mark who disappeared, I could cover his parts.”

“Dude?” A man replies who you could only guess was Mark.

“But we don’t have another bassist, so try not just escaping without letting any of us know,” The guy says, patting Jisung's shoulder. “Hey there by the way, long time since I last saw you.”

Jisung turns to you in confusion, “You know Jaemin?”

He doesn’t seem angry when he says it, but you panic anyway hoping there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings, “No! I mean no not really, remember how I told you one of the first days I came back I met some creep who was way too talkative.”

The guys laugh, mostly at Jaemin while Jisung puts two and two together. Jaemin rolls his eyes at the group, “I met her first technically so I’m not sure why you guys are laughing so hard.”

Donghyuck laughs, “Yeah and almost scared her away!”

Jisung tugs you a bit closer, leaning close as the other guys are completely distracted with bullying Jaemin, “He didn’t make you uncomfortable did he?”

You shake your head, “No, I mean he just kind of talks a lot.”

Jisung chuckles, “Yeah unfortunately that’s just how Jaemin is. A man of too many words.”

“I’ll have you know,” Jaemin defends himself to the others, “Many women love how free spirited and confident I am!”

“Oh i’m sure,” Donghyuck replies sarcastically, ignoring the other to look closely at the proximity between you and Jisung. He walked forward, ignoring Jisung who’s obviously trying to play body guard with how close he’s standing next to you, Hyuck could laugh, Jisung was always so obvious.

“Hello!” Donghyuck starts, “You remember me right? I’m the cool lead singer, i’m sure you at least remember my voice right?”

You’re about to reply when Jaemin starts, “Ugh can you be any more conceited. Na Jaemin,” He introduces, this time he seems pretty chill without the whole wide smiling in a dark hallway, “amazing guitarist. Have heard a lot about you, didn’t think Jisung was your type.”

“Hey don’t be rude,” Mark warns, taking the time to introduce himself simple enough you think he might be the only normal one. “Mark, i’m the leader. It’s nice meeting you—“

“Darling?” The last one responds, provoking Jisung to get a reaction.

“Jeno—“

“Ah,” you nod in understanding, “so then you guys must already know a lot about me.”

“No not really, we’ve just heard Jisung sleep talk and call out to a Darling a looooot— Ouch!”

Donghyuck earns a slap to his arm.

“That one is Jeno, our drummer,” Jisung hurries the introduction, “Are you guys leaving now?” 

“Why would we do that, if you haven’t noticed buddy okie preshow is currently on stage and we’re going up in the next hour, we found you to tell you that you need to hurry up and tune your shit.” Donghyuck replies.

“I would’ve said it in a nicer way,” Mark says, “but he’s right.”

Jisung groaned, it was so like the others to jump in just to tell him to hurry up, if anything Jisung was always the first to get ready, he’d already tuned his shit how was it his fault the guys still hadn’t done their duties. 

You smiled, patting on his shoulder. “Hey it’s okay,” You say, “I’ll be in the crowd waiting for you.”

He contemplates for a moment, before coming to an obvious decision. “Go with me, I promise it won’t take long.” You frown, looking over at the others wondering how they’d feel about that. “they won’t mind.” Jisung assures you. He knew you so well that he could practically read your thoughts straight from your head.

“Okay,” you whisper. He smiles, relieved by your answer.

“Alright then,” Mark coughs, bringing all attention to him, “Let’s make this quick, the sooner we finish the sooner we have free time for ourselves.”

The group nods at the guitarist, hurrying out of the trailer. Jisung’s hand never once leaves your own, dragging you with him to be a part of something you never thought you’d ever be in the position to see. Your stomach churns, the wave of anxiety from earlier threatening you as you try to distract yourself from it.

💫/🎸

The guys finished up quicker than you’d thought, well at least most of them did. Jisung had already tuned and did a few practice sessions before he went out with the guys. Now as all of you stood backstage in one of the smaller practice areas, he ran up towards you, “How is it being back here?”

You fake contemplate, “Hmmm, I don’t know, I guess I can see the appeal of groupie life.”

His brows raise, “I’d hope that you just mean me.”

“Who else would it be? The other band from earlier?”

He rolls his eyes, grabbing your hand once again and tracing his thumb over your palm, “Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Ji,” You start, looking behind him to see the guys in their own world doing a few practice warmups on their own, “You have like thirty minutes until you have to be on stage.”

“Yeah but what can I do,” He comes in closer, his lips tracing barely a centimeter from your neck, “I want you so badly.”

You bite your lip, hoping to stifle to gasp you almost let free, your neck always so sensitive. He shifts his head, looking into your eyes with his pupils wide, his desire so obvious and enchanting. You couldn’t say no even if you wanted to, and right now you wanted him just as much.

The slightest breath of a yes is enough to have him pulling you out from the room, the other guys asking where he’s going to which he ignores since he’s clearly a man on a mission right now.

He led you to a room that was fully empty and a bit crowded. The sound of the pre performers could be heard so clearly from here. “Where’s this place?” You ask, curious.

“Crew room,” He replies coolly as he twists the lock. “Don’t worry, it’s mostly unoccupied since they built the new one on the other side.

He doesn’t give you much time to ask anymore questions before he’s pulling you up into his arms. You yelp, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you onto one of the last few pieces of furniture in the discarded room which happened to be a counter.

“How do you know this?”

He lets out a small breath, his hand coming to your face to admire you. “I made sure to look around before running to get you.”

Of course he did, you could almost laugh now. It seems like the two of you were on the same page of where things were going for tonight. You placed your hand over his own, leaning in to kiss him deeply. Jisung immediately let in, groaning into the kiss needy as ever.

You pulled away to catch a quick breath, Jisung already kissing down your neck to repaint it from the ones he left last week that were already fading. Your hips shift on their own, body begging to be touched.

“Jisung,” You moan his name, he hums, the vibration adding to your arousal with how sensitive your neck was. “Fuck—“

He cuts off any of your previous thoughts, his hands sliding through the thin sweater of yours, through the scrappy shirt you had under to discover you wearing no bra underneath. He groaned, his huge hands cupping your breast to feel you up, thumb tracing over your sensitive nipple making you stifle a moan.

“Ji–“ He pinched, the pain quickly fading into pleasure, your legs wrapping around him tighter, craving any and all kinds of proximity. 

“You never told me,” He starts, his other hand moving to lift your skirt up, sliding the fleece tights down, the sudden open air grazing your hot skin. “You never said anything about meeting Jaemin, why?”

His fingers trace over your soaked panties, refusing to fully come into contact with where you needed him most. “What?” You call, voice high and dry and mostly confused. 

“You didn’t say it was Jaemin, why?”

“I–“ you squeak out, your brain short circuiting as he pushes his knuckle against your sensitive clit. “I dont–“

He clicks his tongue, “Come on darling,” his knuckle rubs against you with slightly more pressure, “use your words baby.”

“I– I didn’t know his name.” You whined, “Please– Fuck please Jisung.”

Jisung hums in response, “He was trying to impress you earlier, he’s always been an attention fiend,” You felt your heart race, not having expected Jisung to be so overprotective over you. It was super hot. “I guess he’s also trying to get back at me.”

You let out a cry, the pinch to your nipple this time felt stronger, his voice low as he disconnects his hands from where he cupped your tit, "Since I'm the only one who gets to have you like this.”

“Please–“ you beg again, earning another click of his tongue.

“What did I say about using your words?”

“Please Ji I only want you.”

His pupils dilate at your confession, “I know baby, so why don’t we let him know that.”

You let out another sob of pleasure as he moves to undress you, your sweater discarded onto the floor as he lifts your shirt to uncover your chest. He pauses for a split second, “Color?”

“Green– fuck.” You groan. When either of you would take on a rougher play you’d both make sure to have your safe words ready. As much as Jisung seemed mad, he wasn’t, but he knew how much you liked when he pretended to be, taking control over your body and leaving you begging for more.

He yanks your panties down, giving you barely a second to breathe before he’s plunging two of his fingers knuckle deep into your soaked cunt. You moan, the stretch is a bit rough but pleasurable. He stretches them a bit, trying to diminish the pain from the abrupt invasion, your wetness offering enough lubrication for him to push his long and slender fingers deeper, reaching parts of you that you on your own never seem to reach.

You fight a string of curses from leaving your throat, one hand of his pistoling his fingers in and out of you, the other rubbing circles around your tit. You feel like you could cry, the stretch hitting you just right. Your hips raise up, struggling to stay still with how fast he was fucking you with his fingers.

“You’re so beautiful,” He murmurs, adding another finger. A rush of pleasure running through you with how full you felt, his thumb coming to rub around your clit. “Jisung–“ You cry out, feeling your orgasm coming any moment now.

“Come on,” He says, “cum for me darling.”

With a few last rough thrusts, you squeeze around him, his fingers continuously fucking you at the same speed, milking your orgasm until it’s overwhelming. 

You whine, the overstimulation becoming almost unbearable as he continues his movements. “Jisungie please I can’t—“

“Yes you can baby,” He coos, “one more on my fingers, you can do that for me, right?”

There’s tears streaming down your face when you nod, already feeling your second high approaching just around the corner.

“Color?” He asks, his breath heavy like he’s been holding himself back the entire time.

“Green—“ You scream out, cumming for the second time around his fingers.

“There baby I knew you could do it,” He encourages you, his fingers coming to a stop once he notices your face scrunching in discomfort, he slips his fingers out of you, bringing them to his mouth to suck on the arousal you coated them with. He hums, “You taste so sweet, like cherries. Do you wanna taste it?”

You whimper, nodding softly. He kisses you then, this time the heaviness from earlier is all gone. He kisses you like you're delicate, like if he kisses you any harder you will disappear. You can taste yourself on his tongue, sucking on it pulling a groan from him.

“Come on baby,” He says after pulling away, “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He’s about to reach down when you hold onto his arm.

“What about you?” You whine, lifting your shaky knee to rub against where his bulge is visible through his pants.

He winces at the touch, “I’ll take care of it on my own.”

You bring your arm forward, cupping him through his pants, “But I want to help you,” you pout, “please baby can I help you?”

Fuck having any self control, Jisung nodded. You pulled him into a deeper kiss, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out from his boxers. You pumped it slowly twice before bringing his tip to your entrance, he winces again wrapping a hand over your own to stop you, “Fuck– are you sure about this?”

You hum, “Please Ji,” You call his name like it’s a prayer, “i’ve wanted you to fuck me for so long.”

He groans, “I don’t have a condom.”

“Please?” Your bordering tears, still fucked out from your two orgasms and yet deperate for more. Ready for him to take you however he wanted. “I’m on the pill, you can finish inside.”

Jisung’s breath catches in his throat, fuck you were not making it easy. He’d wanted you for the longest time, but a part of him was worried that if he gave you this then he’d have to come clean. He looked into your eyes, contemplating his next choice.

He’d been wanting to confess to you, the fear eating him up all this time. He needed to tell you how you never once left his mind, that even for the five years you were gone he couldn’t move on, countless women and yet none of them were you. The way he looked at you now told him enough, your eyes looking into him just as he always looked into yours. 

Then it struck him, maybe you did want him just as much as he wanted you. Maybe things were different this time. He invited you today to tell you everything. Well more so sing you everything. One of the many songs he’d written about you that he showed the guys who had no problem adding to the setlist. 

You called out his name again, this time soft and sweet. He knew then that the order it played out didn’t really matter, he wouldn’t say no to you. Not when you looked at him like you knew how he felt because you felt it too.

He pulled you in for a kiss again, this time hoping you could read his heart with every breath shared. He lined himself up this time, the tip of his cock red and angry, desperate for your touch. 

“Are you sure?” He asks once more.

You nod, “Please.”

He concedes, pushing slowly, allowing your cunt seconds to adjust to his size despite the amount of time he spent stretching you out. You wince, his girth feeling much bigger than you remembered. 

“You–You’re too big—“

“It’s okay, darling,” He coos, praising you as you take every single inch of his until finally his hips meet yours. He gives you a moment to adjust, your cries winding down as you adjust to his size.

He lets out a shaky breath, your walls gripping him so tightly. You look at him through tear stained eyes, nodding at him to try moving.

His first few thrusts are agonizingly slow, dragging moans from your lips without even trying. You clench around him causing him to wince in pleasure, “Please go faster” 

You feel as his thrusts become sharper, every slide enveloping your entire body in what felt like a higher ground than the one you were on now. You couldn’t even hear yourself only registering the sound of skin slapping skin and his own groans.

And when he angled his cock deeper you screamed out, every thrust hitting your sweet spot.

“Fuck– your taking me so well,” He groaned, “Your pretty pussy was made for me, huh?” You nod. “Come on say it baby,” He thrusts even harder, your voice cutting out as you try to moan.

“‘Was made for you, you croak out. Your body feels numb, completely cock drunk, saliva pooling ever so slightly out of your mouth as he makes you see stars. You feel your orgasm coming too late, clenching down on his cock as you finally cum.

Waves of pleasure hit your body, the sound of knocking not even registering through your brain as you come down. Jisung is quick to follow, his warning coming out just as quickly as yours. You feel as his cum shoots inside of you, soaking your walls and filling you to the brim.

He groans, his final thrust sloppy, pushing his cum in deeper and causing you to whine. Silence fills the room for barely a second, the knocking at the door hard to ignore with how loud it is.

“Yo Jisung, we gotta be out in less than five minutes!” The leader shouted out.

Jisung sucked in a breath, looking at you like a scared hamster. You shook your head like ‘I don’t know I just got fucked to next sunday’.

He cleared his throat calling back to Mark on the other side, “Yeah, I’ll be out.” He cringed, making you laugh.

“Okay yeah just like,” Mark pauses awkwardly before adding, “Clean up fast and hurry the fuck out!”

You laugh, hearing the footsteps leave in quick steps. Jisung looks absolutely horrified.

He gulps, “Do you think they–“

“Heard everything?” You ask rhetorically, “Yeah probably.”

He groans, his head resting on your shoulder for a quick second before he’s quickly moving off of you. He slides out of you, the two of you groaning at the slight sting.

His cum is dribbling out of you, the sight is hot and if he didn’t need to be on stage within the next three minutes he would definitely ask for another round. He shakes the thought off, panicking and reaching for the first piece of fabric on the floor, using it to wipe his liquid off of your thighs and cunt where it keeps slipping out of you. 

“Ji, just give me back my panties, leave it.” You say, sitting up. He passes you the fabric, you slip it on hoping it’ll hold it enough until you’re back home. You look up, Jisung helping you put your clothes back on until you notice the fabric in his hand.

“Ji,” He hums. “That’s my sweater.” You say, staring at the now cum stained piece of clothing.

He goes red, profusely apologizing for using it and not realizing that it was your sweater. You laugh, he was always so cute. Guess that would never change.

“This isn’t how I wanted things to go.” He sighs, the two of you looking fairly more composed than you did a minute ago.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“I mean that I wanted to tell you something before all of this,” He trails off. You tilt your head, waiting for him to further explain. He takes a deep breath before finishing his sentence. “Just, watch me on stage. I can help you understand better then.”

You nod your head, ignoring the way the anxiety from before was beginning to creep up again, this time the feeling barely able to be ignored. You hope he doesn’t notice it.

There’s another strict knock at the door, calling him to hurry up. His eyes shine as they look at you, pulling everything you feared back onto the surface as if it never left in the first place.

“I’ll see you,” He says, kissing your cheek before running to go follow the guys onto stage.

You suck in a shaky breath, giving yourself a moment to breathe. It’ll be fine. It has to be, you promised it would be.

☆ 💫 ☆

You spotted Aeri early on in the performance, she was a few feet away with a candy apple in her hand dancing along to the music with a guy right next to her that you didn’t recognize at all. She called out to you in between the third and fourth song where you said hello to the new guy she introduced as Johnny.

You were lucky enough that since the music played you had something to put your entire focus on while avoiding Aeri’s gaze that later turned into a smirk once your hair shifted while dancing revealing a brand new purple bruise there. She winked at you, before turning to the guy and dancing along with him.

The performance was going well, though there was still a part of you full of anxiety you at least were able to tune it out and focus along with the loud music, more specifically the bass. It didn’t help that after every song, Jisung was looking into the crowd, eyes landing directly on you like it was muscle memory to just find you through thousands of others. 

It was during the last couple of songs when they changed a few things, instead of their regular garage mixed sound they shifted for a more soft rock melody. You heard the opening keys, Jaemin having swapped from guitar to a keyboard, the first few chords producing such a sweet and melodic sound and right as Mark strummed the first few notes, Jisung began to sing.

Every lyric flowed nicely, his vocal tone had always been one that you appreciated, the deep voice of his felt so comforting, transporting you back in time to when he first started singing. You remembered those days so clearly, coming home from school and he would sing to you, or even on your sad days when you missed your mother and she would decline every one of your calls. Those times he’d make sure to sing you your favorite songs, and at some point he’d even started writing songs for you.

Most of them you weren’t allowed to listen to, he told you it was because they weren’t ready, but a part of you knew it had to be because of a different reason. There was the time on his fourteenth birthday, you’d saved up all of the allowance your parents had given you to buy him the bass he’d wanted. He looked the happiest you ever saw him, then. 

As the song progressed you listened to each and every one of the lyrics directed towards you, his eyes never once shifting from where you stood.

‘I would take the chance to live the rest of my life alone just if I could see you once more.

Cause I couldn’t live a life without you, not when everything I do is for you.

Not when you’re the only one for me, so please don’t leave me lonely.’

You took in a harsh breath, feeling as if your world would collapse. 

Fuck. 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to play out. Aeri wasn’t supposed to be right. 

Almost as if she sensed you thinking about her she called out to you, your phone in her hand as she gave it to you. “I forgot to tell you, your phone has been ringing since earlier.” That’s right you had given her your phone earlier since she was the one with a bag. 

You glanced down at the caller ID, and suddenly it felt like your entire world was falling apart.  Aeri looked at you worriedly then, her eyes running over you head to toe and asking if you were okay. You could barely hear her over how hard your heart was beating. 

The last thing you could remember was telling her you had to go, then running through the crowd before she could even try to reach you. You breathed out, debating answering the call at all. Away from the music there’s barely any food trucks open, about two or three people are actually in line but even then you still feel paranoid. 

The phone keeps ringing, only this time you choose to answer it.

“Miss L/N?” You almost broke down hearing his familiar voice. He must’ve heard you enough that he started again, “Ah, Your mother told me I should communicate with you since you’ve been too occupied to answer her. She was wondering if we could push up our wedding date.”

Wedding Date.

Of course, because no matter how long you thought you could run from everything you still had your duties to attend to for your mothers sake, even if it was to marry a man that you didn’t even love.

☆ 🎸 ☆

When Jisung finished his song to you he noticed your absence immediately, but before he could allow himself to succumb to any anxious ideas he stopped himself, because maybe you had snuck backstage to see him after the show.

By the last song, he knew it wasn’t the truth. He could even spot Aeri from the crowd, trying to call someone through her phone. A part of him wished that this wasn’t exactly what was going on. Maybe you had stopped to go get some food? There were still a couple of trucks left behind, he forgot to mention that afterwards the guys were planning on going out for dinner. He was going to mention it after talking to you, he was hopeful that he’d get to introduce you as his girlfriend as you all were seated at the table.

The guys sensed it. He could tell by the way they quieted down as they all stepped off the stage noticing your lack of presence. Jisung should be mad at you. You left him, again, but even when he tried to be angry the first time you’d left, he couldn’t be mad at you. This time though, unlike before, he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad at himself.

He allowed himself a breath, the guys had left him to himself in their shared trailer for a moment, so now every possibility was flooding his mind. In the end it didn’t matter. There was no other way to look at this situation. He should’ve listened to Mark, or even to Donghyuck of all people. But he didn’t, and in any other timeline he was sure he wouldn’t have either.

Because everyone else were assuming that he’d fallen into a trap he’d so cautiously been trying to avoid, what they didn’t realize was that he went in fully content with the outcome. 

Part Four: Late December

You

☆ 💫 ☆

It had been a week since all things went to shit. You’d hung up the second you heard the words wedding date, choosing instead to grab and pack as many clothes from Aeri’s place to run away. You were seriously going to leave again, but then you thought about Jisung. Every word he spoke through the song. You couldn’t leave him, not again.

So here you laid in complete isolation, staying in your old bedroom at your grandmother's. She stopped by to bring you food every so often, but other than that even she had a feeling that you wanted to be alone. 

Your mother had called a few more times, probably expecting you to have already booked your flight back to France. But you hadn’t, and you still weren’t sure you were going to. There was too much going on in your head. How everything you didn’t want to happen happened anyway, and again, it was your fault. 

It was your fault how you stupidly thought that you could come back home just to leave again like nothing ever meant anything. Because everything meant something, every place, every person, but especially him. 

And now even if you were to stay what justice would that do? If you were Jisung you would never want to see you ever again. Judging by his silence, you were sure that he was on the same page. You wouldn’t even allow yourself to cry over him when you were the one who fucked up.

There was a subtle knock on the door, you wiped your eyes making sure that there wasn’t a single tear before answering with a weak, “Come in.”

Only it wasn’t your grandmother with a plate of breakfast, not unless the plate of breakfast had transformed into a pink haired woman who looked way too much like the best friend you had run away from. 

You refused to look at her, not when you were already way too close to crying and seeing her look at you pitifully would just be the stick that broke the camels back. 

The door shut then, leaving you and Aeri in silence. The sound of her footsteps approaching until she finally spoke, “You left me like a bad hookup.” There was humor in her voice, one that you glossed over with how sorry you felt.

“I’m sorry,” You admitted defeatedly, as if to say she was very far from being wrong, and you should’ve realized it sooner. 

She sighed, “Don’t be sorry, I’m not mad I understand. Sometimes I'm too right about everything that it makes me want to leave myself behind.”

You don’t answer, nothing but your faults flooding your brain so much that you could barely register the world around you. She must’ve understood the sort of funk you were in because she moved a step closer. 

“Y/N.”

Your heart squeezed at the mention of your name, which was starting to annoy you. You were acting like a kid in trouble for the first time. The idea of how aggravating you must be to everyone right now made it so that you actually made eye contact with the woman, her face full of concern.

“You always were your own worst enemy,” she sighed, before clapping her hands together loud enough to make you flinch. “Okay no more sulking. I, as your friend, am required to be here for you whenever you are sad and I've been a pretty shitty friend that I left you alone in your own thoughts for a week too long.”

You frowned, “No that’s not true all you’ve done is be a good friend. You let me stay with you and I just left without even giving a thank you.”

She rolled her eyes, “Y/N, do you think i’m here for a thank you?”

You pause for a moment, the obvious answer being no, of course not, but one part of you is still faulting yourself for not having given one anyway. 

“God, I love you y/n I really do but seriously?” She scowls fully offended, “I’m not here for a little sorry, or for a thank you, I’m here because my best friend needs me and even if she thinks that she doesn’t deserve to be around anyone I know otherwise.”

Your brows are furrowed, her finger shushing you before you could reply, “Shh no no no, you’re just going to guilt yourself more and then want to push away everyone because you think you’re the problem.”

“Aren’t I?”

“Y/N, things happen. Feelings happen. The unexpected happens and you can’t just put the blame on yourself.” 

“You don’t understand,” You can feel the tears forming in your eyes, using all the last of your strength to fight them from falling.

“Then help me understand! Help me see it from your point of view because all i’m getting is that you’re sitting here soaking in self hatred when I know you as one of the most selfless people in the world.”

You shake your head, the tears flooding out. “I’m not, i’m far from that. I got involved with Jisung again even when I knew this couldn’t last forever.”

“Why can’t it?”

“Because Aeri,” Your voice cracks, “I have to go. My mother is content with setting me up with some man I barely even know because it’s my duty to her as her daughter. To marry into a wealthy family and play as a puppet for the rest of my life.”

She’s silent, listening to you as you rant on about everything, finally breaking from the amount you’ve held back from telling. “I don’t even get a choice. Not if I want to be heir to everything they built. I never even wanted to leave you all behind the first time but I had to.”

“Why?” Aeri asks, and the question itself is harmless but you shake your head because how could you explain. As far as you knew, your mother wanted nothing to do with your upbringing. Yet she showed up anyway one day. Telling you that there was no other option, if you were to stay behind then she would cut you off. 

“She promised to fund my education if I left with her.” You were fully sobbing now, “and grandma was only getting older so I thought it would be for the best if I left with my mother. To come back with a degree and be able to support the two of us.”

Aeri sighs, pulling you into a comforting hug. Those first few months in France had been nothing but stress and pain. Taking on an education in a foreign country where you hardly understood any of what they were talking about. Even as a graphic design major it proved to be more challenging than ever.

You thought after the last years of school you would be able to come back home. To start up a small business and pursue and build your own career, maybe then when you proved to be successful enough you would talk to Jisung and admit just how much you missed him.

Everytime anyone had left you a message you felt a huge lump in your heart. So you began to ignore each and every message, and as the years went on you grew more and more stuck. Your mother had come to you on a random day, inviting you to some dinner with another family, the Lee’s. 

Hyunjae Lee was the man you were set to marry as long as both of your families had kept their promises. You’d realized it then. The reason your mother had come back for you was to secure a business deal with this family, and what better option than to a contractual marriage.

She expected it from you, she’d told you repeatedly how you owed her this. She’d given you freedom for more than half of your life that not many other kids get to entertain, so now you must pay it back.

You couldn’t do this, not after you made a promise that you would return home. If you were to marry into the family of a man that you had just met then you were to be tied down for the rest of your life, but if you were to leave now then you were to walk away from the future you had promised to have. To repay your grandmother for all of her struggles, so you had made your choice, though it didn’t last long at all.

A day after brunch with your new fiancé you had panicked. He was a decent guy, actually pretty kind for someone who came from such a high class. You exchanged numbers with the man, hoping he couldn’t read your solemn expression. And the next day when he texted and it wasn’t the man you had really wanted, you couldn’t take it anymore. 

You needed time away before you locked yourself in a cage, choosing to book the first ticket you could back home. It’s how you ended up here. A trip that you thought would give you the strength to move on, only leaving you facing everything you thought was over head on.

Aeri held you tightly as you recalled to her every single event, the calls the texts you’d ignored just because if you answered you knew you’d come crawling back home fighting for Jisung to forgive you. You weren’t supposed to see him ever again, it was the best that way, at least that’s what you thought. Now you weren’t so sure.

“Look,” Aeri starts after your sobs from earlier come to a few sniffles, “I appreciate you finally letting everything off your chest, but I think you know that i’m not the one who should be hearing all of this.”

She was referring to Jisung. Of course she was. And you knew you should talk to him but how could you explain everything and expect him to just forgive you? You had played with his emotions, whether you meant to or not. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you again and remind himself of all of the pain you caused him. 

“I can’t Aeri not when he's so much better off without me.”

“You can’t say that, it’s unfair. He decided to keep seeing you even when he could’ve avoided you like the plague this entire time, and honestly everytime i’ve so much as spared him a glance this past week I've realized that he never once has appeared that way.” 

You hadn’t really seen anyone this past week, but that didn’t stop you from knowing how he was doing these past weeks. Your grandma had mentioned something about seeing him in passing when she was coming home from groceries and he apologized for not making time to visit her. He hadn’t looked too good, maybe a bit like he needed a friend, your grandma had said.

She’s frowning at you now, no longer holding back as she speaks with zero remorse, “The least you can do is try to talk to him, he deserves to make that choice for himself so who are you to decide for him, because it’s clear to everyone else that he had already decided to forgive you. You just took that chance away from him.”

Her words clicked then. Could it have been so obvious? Everytime you distanced yourself from the people around you only because you thought it was for their best interest, in your mothers eyes that was the same way she thought of you. It was in your best interest that you follow every rule she had set out for her. 

In a lot of ways, Aeri was right, because if you really loved the boy you grew up with the way you claimed to, then you would’ve allowed him the opportunity to admit that he had forgiven you. The only person left was you who hadn’t forgiven yourself.

What did that mean now? It was simple enough for you to understand. You had to find a way to talk to him, at least after you made a quick pit stop.

☆ 🎸 ☆

Jisung hadn’t spent a lot of time doing anything except for spending all of his time in the practice room. Even with no performances coming up because of the holiday season, he needed a release. The guys had forced him to go out with them at least once, for a quick stop at a convenience store because really he had no desire to talk to anyone let alone deal with any kind of crowd at a club right now. They at least understood that part, though he had a creeping suspicion that there was something else.

He spent Christmas with Mark’s family, they were pretty welcoming and didn’t make him feel like an outsider even though he very much was, with his very solemn stray kitten look that made Mark’s mom slide over an extra slice of homemade lemon cake that her friend back in Canada had given her the recipe to.

Jisung had decided maybe it was best to spend the rest of his time in solitude, mainly because he hated being the vibe killer to everyone around him. It’s why he had declined joining any part of Donghyuck’s New Year celebration, and also because the last thing he wanted was to get drunk and wake up with a hangover on January first.

That’s how he had ended up roaming around the area, bungeoppang in hand as he sat with the thickest sweater he owned at the local park. Don’t get him wrong, he was semi aware that he looked like a weirdo, like what kind of grown man sits on a random park swing in the middle of the night on new year’s eve. This wasn’t just some park though it did mean a lot. It was where he’d first met you. 

You, with a pretty bad haircut and a little bit of a thick accent when you spoke Korean that he couldn’t exactly put a name to because as a seven year old the only places he knew were school, home, and space. You must’ve been from the moon, it would explain why you spoke a bit weird and why you’d never tried bungeoppang before.

Jisung smiled at the memory, he ended up being wrong about a lot of things, but one thing stayed true. You must’ve been from the moon at least in another life because for some reason even when he couldn’t see you he felt your presence. 

The air was honestly freezing, yet he felt all the more warm with the precious memory. He promised the guys that he wouldn’t allow any of his own problems to affect the band, and with their schedules becoming more and more busy since the festival he knew he had to set his mind straight. So now, he sat with the idea that once the clock struck twelve he would wash every piece of baggage from the past five years, and start a fresh and clean beginning.

“Jisung!” He heard your voice then, his body scrunching up in response because seriously he hadn’t had a sip of alcohol so was he losing his mind. A psyche evaluation was not what he was expecting to take into the new year. But then he heard you again, this time closer than before. Standing up off of the swing and turning around to see you, who seriously looked like you ran a mile to get here, a bag in one hand and a pair of shoes in the other that only made him realize you had been running barefoot.

“Wait give me a minute,” You spoke, clearly fighting for an ounce of air to fill your lungs because you had spent the last of your breath screaming out his name. “Fuck I really underestimated how long it would take me to get here.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked, not in a rude way but because seriously the last thing he expected was to see you.

You had finally caught your breath, gulping down the last of your fears before you came clean. “I had to see you.”

When he didn’t reply you stepped closer, “I haven’t been honest, and for the longest time I told myself it was in everyone’s best interest that I kept it that way because I didn’t deserve any of you in my life. But after a long enough time and really some slaps of courage from Aeri I realized that I never once considered how you felt. So i’m here to tell you everything but mostly to allow you the choice to choose how you still feel about me afterwards.”

Jisung wasn’t really sure how to reply but he did know that you had always been the type to put yourself down, it was always something he wished he could help you see differently.

He nodded, encouraging you to continue. “I love you, I think I always have but for some reason I just was so scared that I would only bring out the worst from you. When I left back to France with my mom I thought space away from you was the best for you.” You sniffled and even with how rough things were Jisung still wished he could hold you close to comfort you. 

“That’s not the only thing though, I also needed a good education so I could come back and finally be enough for everyone here, and my mother was going to fund it all as long as I did everything she wanted. So I sat through years of huge galas where I had to learn the names of people who looked at me like I was never going to measure up to my family’s legacy, until eventually my mother had the brilliant idea that the only way i’d ever make it was by attaching a new last name to my own.”

Jisung felt his heart twist, had you really suffered so much being alone? He remembered Ningning mentioning having visited you once on a business trip within the last year. How you had said you were relieved to see a familiar face, especially with how lonely the atmosphere was. She said one of the main things that stood out though was that even as much as you smiled and said things were going well, it never met your eyes.

“I came back here spontaneously but it was because I needed time. I needed to feel like my life was in my control even though it hadn’t been for a long time and wouldn’t ever be if I went through with the arranged marriage.” Your voice kept its composure despite the way your hands shook. “I was never supposed to stay here, but then when I saw you again it’s like I couldn’t leave. I wanted to be around you, in any way shape or form even if you didn’t see me as anything other than a warm body.” 

He couldn’t believe it, because never once had he seen you as such. You have always and would forever be the woman who taught him what love was. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come to see you sooner and tell you all of this,” You added, “I had to see my mother and let her know that the wedding wasn’t going to happen. I talked to her a bit, she wasn’t too pleased but as long as i’m out of her hair she doesn’t really care. I’m free now so I took the first flight back and got your address through Aeri–“

“Aeri has never once come over to my place?”

“Yeah she said not to mention that because it was a secret, anyway I thought you’d probably be home but clearly I was wrong and it took me even longer to convince the guys to tell me where you went.”

“I didn’t let the guys know though? I shut my phone off just so they wouldn’t follow me.”

“Yeah well Jaemin said he had his ways.”

Jisung groaned, already knowing what exactly that meant in Jaemin’s language. He definitely had an airtag on him.

“I also passed by a small vendor and,” you opened the bag in your hand, revealing a few of the fish shaped bread hidden inside. Jisung couldn’t help but smile, you had remembered just as he did. “I packed one of each, just in case you wanted to try them all and argue about which was the best filling.” Your voice grew quiet then, “That’s only if you want to.”

The answer was obvious to him the second you had appeared in front of him explaining yourself. He was never going to forget you, it’s not what he was planning on doing in the first place. He just wanted for things to be honest, none of the confusion on where the two of you stood, just true and open love. All he ever wanted was you.

He took a few steps closer, his arms coming up around you in a tight hug, “There’s never been anything else i’ve ever wanted more than you.”

You let out a breath of relief, a few tears streaming down your face with how much pressure was lifted from off of your shoulders. Like there was a magnetic field between the two of you that you had no interest in fighting against, your lips met one another’s. The kiss was sweet and soft with all of the emotions you both felt over the years combined into one moment. Both of you accepting this change with each other because that’s what love was.

It was feeling everything all at once but willing for it to consume you. An unstoppable force that left you vulnerable and sometimes wondering if you were deserving, but also proved that you were ready for wherever it took you even if it was unexpected.

And like the sky was a paid actor, it was met with blasts of colors as fireworks went off celebrating the start of what’s to come. 

Jisung of course flinched, pulling away from the kiss with an apologetic sorry for ruining what was a perfect scene out of a movie. You laughed, locking your fingers through his hand to stare up into the sky with him. His gaze occasionally falling to you, in pure joy with rose colored cheeks from the cold, something he’d never let go of.

Epilogue:

Francis Forever

Who ever thought that booking a show last minute as a filler band for a canceled performance by some popular band that fans had already bought tickets for would have the domino effect of Oblivion reaching new heights of success.

Not Jisung, but you had always known it was only a matter of time.

Since that show in February, March had become chaotic. Oblivion had regular shows booked back to back, and had even recently just been referred to some guy under Zhong Management, for help to sort out how the rest of Oblivion’s year would go.

There were also an influx of fans, fanpages, fan accounts, fanfics that Jisung definitely made sure to steer clear of considering the fact that he was in a very public relationship that was not hidden from fans in the slightest.

The fans loved you, which Jisung knew they would because who didn’t. They loved the dynamic between the two of you, researching and finding out that you had known each other since childhood which only fueled them to ask more questions about the two of you which Jisung had no problem doing during the last Fans Ask and Answer that you scheduled for each of them.

You took the job as their social media fan club manager very seriously by the way. So when Donghyuck had answered a question asking ‘What are some preshow superstitions you have?’ with ‘I’m not sure about that but we have special rules in place about no funny business before a performance.’ You had quickly ended the online questionnaire, right before running towards Donghyuck at full speed with the first thing you could find on the desk in front of you, a pencil, as your weapon of choice.

Jeno had held you back, because Jisung refused when he had already warned Donghyuck before he clicked post.

Things were going better than ever, even for you who decided to take a break from school after already having completed a two year program. 

The only thing left for today was the movie marathon date you and Jisung had planned for tonight, which wasn’t the first you both had since dating, but felt brand new since every other roommate had made plans that left the house empty except for the two of you.

“I don’t understand why people like Jake Sully, he seems a bit conceited.” Jisung muttered from where he sat on the couch, your body resting against his chest as you munched on popcorn, focused on the movie.

“Cause he’s hot.”

He scrunched his nose, “He’s blue.”

You shrug, “It’s an alien thing probably, I always thought Neytiri looked better.”

He frowned at you, pulling a laugh from your lips with how cute he was when he was jealous. “I’m just kidding! Those things are way too tall anyway.”

He sighed, “I don’t wanna watch this anymore.”

You laughed again, setting down the bowl of popcorn and sliding around to wrap your legs around him. He refused to look at you, but you knew he wasn’t really upset with the way his hands found their way around your waist, soothing over your skin. “I’m kidding, no blue alien could compare to the alien right in front of me.”

He let out a snort, finally turning to face you. “As if I was jealous of that guy.”

“Oh yeah i’m sure you weren’t,” you smile, leaning in close to him. His gaze fell to your lips, silently hoping you would lean in closer so he could kiss you. You thought it would be fun to tease him for a little so you stayed there, barely a centimeter apart. 

He sighed again knowing exactly what you were doing, choosing to close the distance himself. You never really got used to his kisses, your stomach fluttering anytime the two of your lips connected.  You couldn’t help but want more, sliding your tongue through his lips to deepen the kiss. He tasted sweet, more than likely from the candy he’d been eating since the start of the movie.

It wasn’t until you could feel his slight bulge against you that you pulled away, smirking up at him in satisfaction over his disarray, his lips swollen and hair tussled from the quick makeout session.

“We have the house to ourselves,” He broke the silence with a whisper, leaning in close to lessen the gap between you

.“Hmm,” You answered, not even daring to hide your smile when you’ve never felt happier than this moment. “Then let’s make use of that while we can.”

࣪𖤐 the end ── ★ ̟

FINAL NOTES: if you made it until the end I’m hoping you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing! Next up is Jeno’s story so stay tuned for that! also, im wondering just how many of the songs used for every section did you guys know…