I am not who I once was... I’m different. I have a voice. I don’t care what people think of me anymore. I allow myself to be seen—the real me, not the one I think will win people’s approval. I base my self-worth not on what anybody else thinks of me, but on what I think of myself. I’m a bit of a rule-breaker now, and I don’t apologize for that. I will never be who I once was because of what I have been through. The truth is, challenging circumstances in our lives change us. The death of a child, escape from an abusive relationship, a life threatening illness, an affair that forced you to face who you really are instead of who you were pretending to be, coming out from the other side of an addiction that almost killed you—those things change us. We pass through them. And we are never, ever the same. When these things happen in our lives, the experience lifts our energetic vibration and gets our attention. It forces us to pause, reflect on what we have been through and own who we now are, or who we want to be, now that our masks are off. These experiences happen to us to shake things up. Get us out of our fog. Reveal things that may have been hidden or we just weren’t willing to see. I wanted to be a better version of myself after my life fell apart. I wanted to be more compassionate, more understanding, less judgmental and more accepting of myself and my own flaws. I wanted to take my pain and use it to help others. There was a moment in my own process of grief where I couldn’t give of myself. I couldn’t be vulnerable or loving or affectionate the way I had been. I said, “I’m not this person. Why can’t I be the person I was?” The truth is Because you are not the same person anymore. You will never be the person you were before this happened to you. You are forever changed from that experience and now you need to discover who that new person is.” Our job is not to apologize to the people in our lives who knew us before because we can’t go back to being the person before the crisis. The crisis happened for a reason. We can however learn from it and grow , come back a better person , stronger then before. More compassionate , renewed .