#gregmaxxing

embracing someone at a funeral

I didn’t know her well

sometimes she pissed me off

by playing violin poorly

or half assing our school project

but none of that mattered in that building

on that day

when she asked to sit by me

I never once thought of her small annoyances

or how I felt sorrow sorrow for her teen pregnancy

I just thought “isn’t it nice to not feel so alone”

isn’t it nice we can be together

so we sat

and eventually we walked up that isle together

it was so scary, everything felt so real all of a sudden

so I became a shield

she cried into my shoulder

I felt like a man that day

I felt strong

but it was a sorrowful feeling

trying to protect someone from what’s already occurred

facing what you’re shielding them from

walking into the frigid cold air on shaky legs

I had no plans, I just needed to leave

to stop being a comforting shield

no more strength

pink & orange hair that couldn’t hide my face as I cried

pink & orange hair that had no place in a funeral home

pink & orange hair that distinguished me

friendly, somber conversation on a cold metal bench

I don’t think we had talked for awhile, but I don’t really remember anymore

it didn’t matter

with you, I wasn’t the shield

I could be an equally soft body pillow

that had tear streaks down their cheeks

and cried loudly, in an overly expressive way

we were sad little pillows together

shivering in the cold, wearing black tuxedos

you made me smile at the worst occasion ever

a beacon that shone through the thick layers of snow

with you, I could fall apart as I giggled and shivered

you never told me to be a soft pillow

just like she never asked me to be her shield

it’s just what I became in those moments

I think that’s what I needed

was to be comfort

whether I was a brick wall

and not the mention the chess husbands in the UK version !!