❝ ꜱᴇʟꜰ-ʀᴇʟɪᴀɴᴄᴇ ❞

He thinks he can feel his heart soar, that weightless, particular happy feeling that Jim has experienced on rare occasions. Still – this one, this moment, felt all the more unique in a way that Jim couldn’t quite place. You see, Jim Ayer believed in soulmates, and all that sappy stuff that came with love at first sight.

Jim is certain that that’s what had just happened.

A clink of the beers. Eye contact that held, and a smile that threatens to explode off his face. George is undeniably handsome; jeez, swoon-worthy to Jim and he steps in a little closer, nodding towards the beach. “Let me grab us another round, and then why don’t we head down to the water?”

               JIM  STEPS      in  closer  and  george  feels  his  pulse  kick  up  a  notch ,  his  eyes  bright  with  a  silly  giddiness .  the  man  is  beautiful ,  no  denying  that ,  though  quite  a  bit  younger .  to  his  somewhat  surprise ,  that’s  not  dissuading  george  as  much  as  is  it  normally  might .  he  finishes  off  his  beer  then  nods .  

               “Oh, not the dogs!” He exclaims, patting George’s chest tenderly. “I pinky promise that I will not do that to you again on our anniversary.” An accent is placed on the word before Jim grins again, peppering the other man’s face with kisses. “But how can I help it when you’re the most desirable man in all the world, and I want said world to know that you chose me?” 

Jim guides George to the spread, parting for just a moment so that Jim could pull out a chair for his husband, “Sir?” He says, winking before sliding in the chair once George seats himself. Jim busies himself with opening the wine, pouring them both a generous glass before he seats himself across from George. 

              “Happy Anniversary, my darling.” He begins, raising his glass, “May you live to be a hundred, and I live that minus one day, so that I never have to live without you.” Quoting Winnie the Pooh? Absolutely.

                HE’S  TRYING      not  to  be  wooed .  really  he  is       (       okay ,  that’s  a  lie      )      ,  but  jim  makes  it  so  bloody  difficult .  he  sits  down  in  the  chair  that’s  pulled  out  for  him ,  watching  all  of  jim’s  actions  with  amused  fond  eyes .  he  lifts  his  own  glass ,  but  then  scoffs  at  the  ‘ speech ’  he  gives . 

            “For good.” Jim tenderly tells George. The hand that was on George’s back now slides down to interlace his fingers with his lover’s. “It’s as real as it can get. You’re not imagining me, and I’m certainly not imagining you.” A broad grin as the descend down into a theater-like room, and Jim gestures, motioning for George to sit. “Everything will start to make sense,” Jim continues talking, “ – the reel of your life. And the…aftermath, too.” He tells him, gesturing at the screen as he goes behind the projector to start it up.

                 HE  FEELS      thoroughly  confused  by  what  jim  is  telling  him ,  what  a       reel  of  his  life      is .  then  again ,  exactly  what’s  happening  hasn’t . . .  fully  caught  up  with  him  yet .  it  will  get  there ,  in  time .  for  now ,  he  can’t  do  much  but  stare  at  jim ,  to  drink  him  hungrily ,  gone  so  long  deprived  of  him .  it’s  like  he  can  finally  breathe  again .  

and the more george seems to understand and accept what’s happened to him, the more jim seems to become clearer, less faded, more color. jim looks like he did when george had first met him, and he smiles gently, hands coming up to return his kiss, feeling that desperation, feeling that love as he soothes his soulmate. 

                  “ it’s alright now, george. everything is alright.” his voice lulls, and he breaks from george’s lips only to press a kiss on the other man’s nose, a habit that he’d always done when they were together. jim’s hand comes up to brush george’s tears away, hand then running through his hair. jim only takes a moment to look at him, beaming; so proud of his old man. his beautiful, lovely, wonderful george before he wraps his arms around him in a warm, all-enveloping hug. “ there’s lots i gotta get you acquainted with – there’s also –….” a brief pause, “ — other options, if you’re interested, but we’ll get there. ” he tells him, still holding george tightly. “ you’re home with me, okay? that’s all that matters. ”

                 HE  CAN     actually   hear   jim’s   words   now   ,   though   he’s   still   having   a   difficult   time      understanding      them   .   there   are   a   lot   of   things   he’s   saying   and   george   is   having   a   hard   time   following   .   so   he   nods   ,   pressing   into   the   solid   warmth   of   his   lover   as   he   lets   himself   be   guided   along   . 

the dinner table is set, and jim makes sure he’s in casual, yet… still stylish clothes. after all, they only get to celebrate their anniversary once a year. of course, regardless of the occasion, he likes to go all out. birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries, sometimes he thinks, to george’s dismay. 

still, he is giddy, and seeing george will bring a broad smile to his face. george falconer still gives him butterflies every single time. but seeing that look upon his husband’s features, jim has the right sense to look apologetic, and he’s glad he jumped the gun on making sure to apologize straight out the gate. hands will slide underneath, wrapping around george’s middle as jim will pull him in close, kissing him soundly on the lips.

                    “ yes, professor. ” is said quite solemnly, at least for jim’s standards, though he won’t be able to completely hide the slight quiver of a grin that wants to form. “ i’ll make it up to you, i promise. scout’s honor. ” he’ll say boldly, pulling george with him now to the dining room where jim has set out their fancy plates and glasses. where he he has put on their song on on the record player, and where he’s perhaps filled about half the room with roses.

                  “ our favorites from coppa entoca. they sent a very nice bottle of wine just waiting to be opened. don’t stay mad at me…please? ” and here, another kiss, this time on george’s forehead. 

                  THERE’S  A      sigh   on   his   lips   as   he’s   slowly   led   by   jim   from   the   foyer   toward   the   dining   room   .   not   for  the   first   time   ,   the   image   of   jim   is   likened   to   one   of   their      puppies      in   his   mind’s   eye   .   how   jim   manages   to   make   that      ENDEARING     ,   george   has   no   idea   .   but   when   he   sees   the   spread   in   front   of   him   ,   the   food   ,   the   roses   ,   the   music   ,   george’s   irritation   melts   .   not   that   their   evening   was   in   particular   danger   of   being   ruined   by   it   anyway   ,   but   this   certainly   soothed   it   even   more   . 

it certainly may not have seemed like it – what with jim’s easy ‘ go-with-the-flow ’ mentality, but he did try and choose his battles ( i.e. when to get george to stay home with him ) correctly. though, he’s got to say it’s not so much of a battle as a favored hobby. a laugh escapes jim happily, wrapping his arms around george, taking the hint and sidling up as close as he could, pressing a soft kiss to the other man’s nose. 

                 “ oh, i’d desert for you in an instant, old man - to hell with the consequences. ”

                  IT  MUST      say   something   about   george   that   the   two   most   important   people   in   his   life   that   he   would   lay   down   absolutely   anything   for   are      also      the   two   most   aggravating   people   in   his   life   .   and   yet   ,   the   love   and   warmth   radiating   out   of   his   eyes   as   jim   presses   a   kiss   to   his   nose   couldn’t   possibly   be   missed   ,   not   even   when   the   affection   makes   george   close   said   eyes   . 

his smile falters only for a split second when george mentions love, but it’s back when he says friend. if jim is bold, it’s because he’s learned that life was fleeting; life was too short - even without a war! he shuffles in place, as if steadying himself but still with an ease about him that not many had left. jim catches george’s eye, and hopes that he isn’t imagining it, that perhaps this george and he were connecting in a way that he hopes that they were.

             “ well, ” jim begins, humming slightly as he tilts his head up for a moment as if to gaze at the night sky, the stars winking down at him before he looks back down, and this time, his smile is wider, smiling at his new companion. “ i think i’d like to get to know you better, george. ”

                      AT  FIRST      he’s   confused   ,   unsure   how   his   question   to   jim   has    anything   to   do   with   getting   to   know      him     .   and      AS      he   has   that   thought   ,   his   brain   makes   the   connection   ,   and   to   his   embarrassment   ,   he   actually   feels   his   cheeks   go   hot   .   his   smile   and   following   laugh   are   tinged   with   a   hint   of   awkwardness   but   the   look   in   his   eyes   says   the   idea   is      very      welcome   . 

LAST SONG: alpha shallows by laura marling

CURRENTLY READING: they both die at the end by adam silvera

CURRENTLY WATCHING: binging all of the nanny

LAST MOVIE: as above so below cause it’s my favorite horror movie

CURRENTLY CRAVING: iced chai tea latte from starbucks, but I am not wealthy aksdhj

Tagged by: @illfatedpartners