Wandering Mind

Writing is the only thing that calms my nerves  When the noise becomes overwhelmingly loud, it’s the only thing that comes to my rescue.  It’s where i’m able to breathe,  Where all my thoughts come together without everyone else having a say. The only place that I let no one in. It’s where my heart calms down, Where I feel the happiest, knowing I’m pouring my all into something that is…

Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as giving too much.  It feels as though I do at times. I’m not sure how but I just do I give because I can, because I care, because I want to But sometimes it becomes hard.  There are days when I wake up and feel a sense of resentment creeping in, a line I hope never to cross.  But how do I avoid getting there?  How firm do my boundaries need to…

The pen is my power Weaving through my thoughts, piecing words together, trails of me echoed through each line I write,  each piece I put together  The good, the bad,  the almost didn’t happen, the fantasies, the past, the present, the anticipated future. Some encouraging,  others sad,  leaving echoes of questions, yet they all belong to me  allowing me to speak through words,…

The term ‘hanging by a thread’ doesn’t begin to describe the level of exhaustion that I feel. At this point, a 100 meter hurdle race might be easier   It’s been a year of cycles. Dark skies and heavy clouds, with the sun peaking through once in a while Weekends feel shortened and work days seem to drag on endlessly.  With chaos and loud noises everywhere I turn -leaving little room for…

All she ever sought was to be safe. Yet turmoil after turmoil stripped her bare It became a constant battle, more like a never-ending war.  Armouring up constantly, always on guard.   Sanctuary and safety turned foreign— like a distant dream. Growing tired and weary, retreating into solitude. Taking knock after knock, almost falling.  Holding onto the little pieces left.  Still, not giving…

The ache and loneliness of being away from home; From familiar faces and sounds  To a place with no names, a place with strangers  You try to find your footing, Navigating this new chapter,  Starting new connections Where silence is all that echoes in your new home. You whisper ‘this is my life now’  The ‘new’ life you once prayed for  Now real. Full of surprises, both kind and…

We have a great relationship. Our banter? Out of this world, and I absolutely love it as it is mentally stimulating.  Our conversations are filled with quick and back-to-back witty remarks with a touch of subtle flirting. It’s humorous and keeps me on my toes.  It doesn’t mean anything,  but it’s nice.  Just words.  We play mental gymnastics with each other, like we go there without really…

My fingers trace the curve of your lips,With eyes too shy to linger If only I dared to lean in closer,To taste the longing in your mouth Breath by breath, I etch closer to you,Pulse stirs, pricking through my skin Whispers of doubt creep into my mind as I try to hold myself together,Caught between what is and what could be

I lost a man I loved to death, and nothing was ever the same again. It all came crashing down. I came crashing down. It felt as if the one thing holding me together was gone, and that was the beginning of my downward spiral. Nothing made sense. My heart was sinking, I was sinking, and holding on for air became exhausting. I felt exposed to the world—my sanctuary was no more. Waves of sadness…

It’s been weeks of non-stop activity. There always seems to be something to do or think about. My mind refuses to rest, as if slowing down or taking a break is considered a failure.  This constant push, even when drained is becoming exhausting. A pattern I’m working hard to unlearn-embracing the idea that it’s okay to slow down and enjoy the present without the pressure to be five steps…

The desire and temptation of touch, knowing very well you are not supposed to. The temptation of touch, the warmth of being embraced, the hair on your back stands erect as your skin touches one another. One finger traces the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your spine, a whisper of a forbidden connection. A connection of lustrous desires, causing a spike in your pulse, heat flashes…

Settling into a new place is both terrifying and exhausting. Each day comes with its own stories. Some days I am okay and bubbly, but on other days, I panic and question how I will be able to live through the next years. How can I deal with this new reality? So much is going on in my head, with many emotions floating around. The noise grows louder and louder, no matter how much I try to quiet…

Being far away from home, far away from everything you know and love marks the beginning of a new journey in a new place, with different cultures. The excitement quickly turns into sadness as familiar sounds and sights are replaced by the unfamiliar.  The struggle to adapt awaits you, as you feel disoriented in a new world, different time zones and different people. Each day being a balancing…

You know that moment when you’re coasting through life, like everything is mellow and floating, with no splashes or crashes around, just floating. It feels like peace, but I question it. Is peace this calm and quiet? Or have I become so used to turbulence that silence now feels suspicious? I keep waiting for it to happen, but nothing, zero, zilch. Everywhere is calm, calmer than I’m used to. Not…

Echoes of pain travel through you as you mourn what once was. Reminders of loss of shared moments.  No more communication as it all disappears into thin air. Nothing feels the same anymore as your mind is filled with thoughts of the past with your heart clinging onto them. Memories of what was lingers on You navigate through these conflicting emotions, learning to embrace the reality of life

I visualize being on the phone as usual listening to him ramble on about any and everything, laughing at the silliest thing he says. I listen with intent, aiming to unravel the essence of the person on the other end of the phone- how he expresses himself, and what he thinks of the world  This has now become a routine for me. Constantly awaiting for the revelation of what he truly wants to say,…

Our sweet baby, it was not a long ride but I cherished every minute spent with you  I still see your face, your tiny hands, your eyes, your full hair with side burns just like your mummy The will of our lord superseded our wants for you. You are forever etched in our hearts I remember smiling when you opened your eyes. You looked so beautiful.  I still hear your loud cry, when I held you in…