it's alright.

… Oh.

 There’s a flicker of surprise in his eyes before his expression melts into one of mild guilt. All of his questioning and his way of doing it must’ve scared a guy who doesn’t have much of a memory of what they went through.

 Joe rubs his own arm, trying to find anything to say in response. His curiosity is overwhelming, tearing at his chest while his heart begs for some answer on the status of his friends. Still, he lets out a small sigh and kicks at the ground for a moment, hands now stuck in his pockets while trying to reroute this conversation to anything else.

 “ … It’s fine. It’s fine. ” The smile Joe offers is shaky at best, but it’s one nonetheless. Getting further upset about all of this wouldn’t help either of them, especially since Sou doesn’t know enough to defend himself from whatever he says.

 ( Sou might not be the most trustworthy person out there, but Joe wants to believe in him. )

 One hand is out and pats Sou’s shoulder, a comforting gesture before tilting his head to gesture elsewhere. “ We don’t gotta talk about anything then, ” he starts, spinning around and pointing out in a completely different direction than seconds before. “ I haven’t seen much of this place yet, so lets go exploring! If you want, we can go help these kids personally or hunt for items they need! Not like I have a weapon or anything and I doubt you do, so we’d have to be real careful…”

 ( No point in bothering the man with questions he won’t answer. )

 Joe’s hand is out again, grabbing Sou’s sleeve and pulling him forward. “ C'mon, lets go! ”

   … Huh?

   Even Sara had been wary when last he used this lie; his performance in the first Main Game made sure that no one would ever fully trust Sou again. Even those most trusting couldn’t believe his act at first, and rightly so — and yet here Joe was, taking the barest minimum from him and accepting it as absolute truth.

   A memory that seems as if from years ago instead of mere days comes to mind; even after his performance, Joe defended him and gave him the benefit of the doubt. Even until the end, Joe tried to trust in him, even when he deserved it the least. It’s a shame he can’t return the favor.

   And just when Sou thinks the younger is done surprising him, he feels a light weight on his shoulder and he can’t help but flinch; not because it’s unwanted but because it’s unwarranted. It’s supposed to be a comforting gesture, but it only further serves to confuse him. If he thinks about it, Kanna’s the only one who’s tried to comfort Sou like that, the only one who got close enough; the only one who wanted to.

   ( At the very least, it’s reassuring to feel that both of them are real. )

   ❛ O-Okay... ❜ Sou’s relieved at the quick topic switch, and he feels his breathing start to regulate again — but something else heavy weighs in his chest instead. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling but it’s no less uncomfortable, and he does whatever he can to ignore it. The last thing he needs is to feel guilt about any of his lies.

   Thankfully the younger doesn’t give Sou much time to think on it because in the next minute he’s already being dragged along on an adventure he’s not sure that he’d ever sign up for. What little he knows of the kids and the sickness and everything about the new world that makes this conversation even possible rushes back all too quickly, and suddenly everything is overwhelming on an entirely different scale.

   ( And between the two options, Sou vastly prefers this one — he thinks. )

   ❛ A-Ah, are you sure we should be rushing off like this? ❜ There’s nothing more that Sou would like now than to get away and be alone, to fully process everything that’s happening on his own terms, but Joe can’t be that naive. He’d catch on if Sou left now — so he lets himself be dragged away with weak protest and just hopes this misadventure ends soon.

it’s only been like. a week and I’ve done Two (2) whole things here, but even that was fun! I’ll keep checking this blog occasionally if any of the Two (2) people I rped with want to finish out threads or move them somewhere; otherwise, I’ll be remaking and moving on to isola, probably !

   There were still parts of him that doubted any of this was real — he did die, after all, and so did Joe. It made far more sense for this to be some kind of afterlife, and even after his conversation with the younger, he at least half-believed it.

   Until he saw Sara.

   Sou was less concerned with the possibility of her being dead too ( though he finds himself hoping that she isn’t ) and more concerned with the fact that he would have to face her. There were a million reasons he could think of not too, to turn around and pretend he hadn’t seen the girl and to avoid seeing her again. It’s a shame that the excuse he’d just given Joe would only make that more suspicious.

   Though, without this excuse, he wouldn’t have any way to face her at all. At least this was a sure way to stave off an unfortunate conversation that he’s certainly not ready to have. Now it was just a matter of her believing in him.

   ( He sighs, blessing and cursing the charade in the same breath. )

   Sou raises his hand in a small greeting and places a smile on his face — after all, she’s still their trustworthy leader.

  … Huh?

  Why… is Sou puzzled? Shouldn’t he know at least something past his own demise? The panic in the elder’s voice and reaction makes Joe recoil, taking his hands off his sleeves and leaving them hanging in the air. Worry glosses his features even harder than before, mouth opening and closing as words trickle out without being spoken.

  Joe doesn’t know what to do. A certain dread settles onto him, hands reaching up to his own scarf and balling his fingers into the fabric.

  He can’t ask Sara, not after how hard she sobbed upon the reunion, how guilt seems to be eating her alive. Questioning Gin is marked out already as well; Joe refuses to make such a younger child dwell on the Death Game further than he’s already been forced to. While putting the responsibility on Sou is nearly cruel… where else can he turn?

  Finally, after moments of bated breath, Joe’s hands slowly release his scarf and limply fall to his sides. He turns away from Sou to recollect himself, thoughts a frantic scattered mess at the idea the other can’t answer him.

  Piecing his words back in order the best he can, he returns his attention to Sou and breathes out.

  “ I mean what’s been goin’ on with everyone else! After the Main Game, where did everyone go? What’s the rest of the building look like? Did… they get you guys to put another doll together and vote? ” he asks, hoping he doesn’t trip over his words too much when spitting them out. His eyes plead for an answer, any sign that he’ll learn about his friends and how they’ve dealt with the situation.

Breathe.

The brief pause is a blessing for Sou and he works to recollect himself again. As soon as Joe releases him his body relaxes again, but his mind is still frozen in place.

Get a grip.

There was still time to turn this around. Joe had a right to know about what happened — more than that, he would probably understand. Maybe the boy was loud and seemed pushy and overly emotional ( basically everything Sou tried to avoid, especially now ), but he can’t imagine that Joe would actually keep pushing the issue. He had some basic respect, after all, and he was more sensitive than he let on. Sou had seen that much.

He just had to say something.

Sou looks the boy in the eyes and opens his mouth and… nothing comes out. Mouth closes and opens again, trying to coax the words out. He just has to say something, anything — it doesn’t even have to be about the main game, just tell Joe something—!

❛ ...S-Sorry... ❜

The word barely comes out and his gaze drops as soon as it does. He’s not sure if it’s part of the apology or because of it ( just like he isn’t sure if the apology is part of the lie or because of it ), but he couldn’t look at Joe now. Instead he reaches to pull his beanie further over his head, trying to hide away. It wasn’t too late to back out; there was still a chance to come clean, to tell Joe the truth.

But he never really intended to do that, did he?

( Sou’s voice is unsteady, and he isn’t sure if it’s part of the lie or because of it. )

hey, event starter call, perhaps? capping at 2 excluding castmates. im basard but still baby.

  Oh, shit, Sou isn’t speaking either. He could’ve expected a snide remark or… well, anything aside from dead silence and the stare he’s getting in return. Joe retreats a touch, opening his mouth only to close it again. Jeez, how do you talk to this guy?! Joe’s hands shove themselves into the pockets of new sweater, expression drawn into a grimace as he wracks his brain to say something, anything.

  “ You’re… ”

  That’s a start! C'mon, Tazuna, continue that though! He takes a deep breath in and puffs out his chest, gathering a hint of determination to put on his face. “ You’re here ‘cause you got a wish too, right?! ”

  Nope, definitely not what he wanted to say since that’s the reason the guy is able to be here. This is a place for wishers, those that had something to fulfill– Joe finds it odd how being dead didn’t deter that for him.

  … Now isn’t the time to think about that.

  Hands shoot out and grab onto Sou’s sleeves, anchoring him into place so Joe can continue trying to find the words he’s misplaced severely. His expression is… stupidly intense for a starter conversation and he almost lets out an agonized yell before hurriedly repressing it. No need to scare a man that already looks like he’s ready to pass out given the opportunity.

  “ How’ve things been back there? Is everyone else safe? You’re not here because somethin’ real bad happened, right? ” Joe asks, keeping his voice low. There’s a heavy emphasis on the worry that comes out with his words, the excruciating details of his final moments replaying in his mind. Kai… right, he would’ve died next and then–

  Then what?

  He waits for an answer.

   The first question catches him even further off-guard than Joe’s appearance here. He knew vaguely about the wish system and wasn’t really sure what to make of it. It sounds like a dream, after all, coming to a place solely to try and have your wish granted. Funny how being dead didn’t lock him out of the deal.

   But it’s the following barrage of questions that stick out in his mind and allows his shoulders to slacken ever so slightly, even as Joe accosts him. Sou was certain his own hallucinations would know all of this already and would not hesitate to use these events against him. He couldn’t even argue for this Joe being a doll ( after all, he knew firsthand how Joe’s AI would react to him, and this wasn’t even close ).

   Of course, this could just be a really weird and terrible afterlife. If it is, he wants a refund.

   Not that any of that matters at the moment. Sou needed to answer the other somehow, but his voice refuses to work. Why was it this hard to answer? Joe had a right to know about what happened; to Kai, to Alice, to Nao, to hi—

   His whole body stiffens, and for a moment he forgets to breathe.

   Didn’t he promise to tell them the truth?

                               Something bad happened, right?

   ❛ W-What!? ❜ Panic slips his tongue to old habits before Sou could think it through, and the outburst surprises even himself — but he doesn’t try to cover it up. Instead he clings onto it like a lifeline, a wall to keep him in and all else — memories, people, everything — out.                                                                                                                         He clings to Sou.

sou hiyori || your turn to die

+1 to the death game crew

friendly, soft, timid man — i promise.

yes, i said man. he’s at least 20 years old. no one knows why.

yes, his name is like that for a reason.

look, i might have been crossing my fingers back there, but he’s trying his best.

probably the definition of drinking three monsters at 2am and going behind the dumpster to fight god

real talk, he’s outwardly friendly and approachable, seemingly nervous, and has some hardcore millennial vibes. self-described job-hopper, described by others as “that loner”, “weak”, and “someone who needs to go find a job” (most of these by a certain sixth grader). he’s very a little off balance right now, and he is actually weak, so he won’t be doing anything strenuous any time soon (or ever).