he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
$LAYYYTER
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
trying on a metaphor
Claire Keane
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Jules of Nature
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Andulka
The Bowery Presents
tumblr dot com
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Xuebing Du
hello vonnie
ojovivo
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
cherry valley forever
untitled
tannertan36
seen from Iraq
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@sothisisyourbest
The Best Way to Describe Contract Jobs...or Not.
Was happily reading resumes until I saw:
Staffing Agency/ Network Services 12/2010 – Present (Sporadic Jobs)
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Because "Sporadic Jobs" definitely instills confidence in your ability to hold a position. Confidence that you definitely had "Spotty Employment."
Look, we get that you were working for multiple clients, but why not just say "Multiple Clients"? Anything but "Sporadic Jobs."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
SEO gone completely wrong for job seekers trying to work here...
Do You Still Use a Telephone Phone?
This isn't the worst we've seen, but...
Answered calls to office using telephone phones.
Because we definitely thought you were taking all your calls on cellular phone phones. #BasicAssBulletPoint
How Introverts Shouldn't Lead Their Resumes
"I am a quiet, friendly individual. :o)"
So basically, you won't have shit to say but you don't want us to think you're crazy...you ticking time bomb you. Note: Never use a smiley face on a resume, but in particular, never use one with a button nose. It makes you look crazy.
This is a restaurant, not an Escort service
Professional Profile
Motivated about servicing patrons in a warm, efficient and courteous manner.
Possesses a fantastastic memory and excellent listening skills, resulting in highly accurate order placement.
Known for exceeding customer expectations and maintaining poise and a sense of huomr in stressful enviornments.
Careful, safe and clean when handling food.
Maintaining clean dining areas while ensuring all standards are met.
Randomly tumbled upon this one and couldn't help but laugh.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Don't Be This Job Seeker...
Basic Ass Bullet Points #BABP
Just know that this was on a résumé for a day job:
- Caffeinated myself from 11pm-7am
What else were we supposed to think?
Professional Body Chopper (Or So It Seems)
Job title from a recent applicant's most recent job:
Position: Overnight Backroom Team Member
One of the more covertly sketchy job titles we've seen. Only thing that would've been worse is "Overnight Backdoor Team Member."
How I feel when a candidate arrives 1.5 hours early for an interview, sees nothing wrong with it, and suggests we sit down to "kill some time"...
Who doesn't hate this?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Basic Ass Bullet Points #BABP
-Gained knowledge and skills acquired through practical work experience
So are you gonna tell me what this knowledge and these ambiguous skills are? No? So let me put you in this trashcan real quick...
#TheWorst #ObjectiveStatements
Objective: As a diligent professional I am looking to secure a position in the opportunity available. My intentions are to successfully complete my daily requirements to reach the company’s goal where my hardworking ability and commitment to success will contribute to the growth of your company.
WTF is this? Secure a position in the opportunity? Are we still talking about an office job? And this joint is more generic than government cheese. Get yourself a tailor. A résumé tailor. #TailorGang
Basic Ass Bullet Points
Every now and then we see something on a résumé that intrigues us in an "uncool" way. So when we saw this as the first job and bullet point for a Project Manager position:
Dog Walker - Nyack, NY January 2013-Present
Responsible for safety of each dog under my supervision; common sense required
We couldn't help but think...
Oh how uncommon the sense you've displayed.
We Here Now!
STIYB is in the building! It's time to start showcasing the worst of résumés, cover letters, interviews, and professional interactions in hopes that we'll make you laugh and, most importantly, make you better. A lot planned. A lot to do. Let's get started.
