sorry for casterly rocking

secretary birds look pretty normal but for some reason people have collectively decided to photograph them like they're [takes a moment to find an acceptable way to say this] women

#more people should take pictures of women swallowing lizards whole

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

The real antagonist of Fullmetal Alchemist is the nameless Xerxian alchemist who bought a teenage boy to sweep his floors and then was like "hey, I'm going to take your blood to try to play god, you can't legally say no because I own you. If this, say, backfires horrifically in 20 years time, then I guess it's you and your descendants' problem since it's your blood lmao"

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

When cats put their whole body into making a sound. Only to be squeak.

Thank you, I desperately needed that

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

the only thing the video game industry hates more than piracy is making video games

normalize sexualizing that old woman without having mommy issues. maybe i don't want to be her pet because i'm traumatized. maybe i want to be her pet because she's hot. you ever think of that.

Me to Mitch: Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for?