“if you have time to lean you have time to clean” ohhh fuckin if i have time to work i have time to jerk. bitch

when people talk about cop propaganda and other people are like “no! the characters in my favorite cop show are diverse and sympathetic and not racist at all!” great observation that’s why it’s cop propaganda

remember to always tip 300% and offer to kill yourself to the server

I used your bathroom 15 times last night… yeah. Toilet’s gone basically. Worn down to a nub

everygirl should get. 10 hrs a day to play video games 8 hrs to lie on the floor 6-8 hrs to do literally nothing 22 hours to sleep per day.

''Whats your snapch-'' I will skin myself alive right in front of you