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I really hated this girl in my class and we kept exchanging notes with various threats of violence on them but then on a Zoom call I saw that she kept a bunch of them pinned on her wall with little hearts around them and I got the biggest crush on her after that.
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We imagine incest as an action β an assault a perpetrator enacts on a victim. But incest is much more diffuse than that. Incest is the background context, and it structures the entire family system. Incest is a dynamic of power, control, domination, sexualization and eroticization within the family. All the adults are taking part in the incest dynamic unless they are actively and permanently removing the children from the dynamic. All the children are victimized by the incest dynamic whether or not they are the direct target. Sometimes children go on to become perpetrators in the incest dynamic too. Incest denies the victims appropriate differentiation, separateness, and boundaries, and exposes the victims to adult sexuality. Incest denies the possibility of empathy and attunement and completely violates the expectation that home and family should be spaces of safety and protection. If there is a child that is perpetrating incest, that child learned that incest dynamic from somewhere, and somewhere along the line it was learned from an adult. Incest is never an isolated event. Incest is always a family dynamic.
clementine morrigan, the realm of unreality: an incest memoir in essays
Abolish: (through laughter) What? (Rusty laughs) I-who-what?
CC: Has Rusty made another art project?
Abolish: Question mark, question mark. Question mark? (Abolish and Rusty laugh) [while this was happening Nom stopped attempting to hide, and moved to be next to 4c on a painting]
4c: So I know what's about to happen, and I'm a-I'm real upset by this. (Nom begins to laugh)
[Nom uses a red brush to sloppily write '4c' on his guy's torso]
4c: I know-I see you. You're not-you're not slick. (4c laughs, as Nom continues to giggle) [Nom uses a thicker brush to draw an arrow on the legs of his guy]
Nom: (through laughter) I don't know what you're talking about, man. (Nom laughs harder) I don't know what you're talking about.
4c: (quietly, under Nom) It's okay. I understand Nom. For the bit.
Shauna: Aw, aw.
CC: Do you, are you having, is he-is he snitching?
4c: Yeah... (Nom laughs)
Nom: (through laughter) No no no no. [Nom wipes his guy's body clean, and moves away from 4c]
Abolish: I'm ready. (the sound of a clock ticking happens every second)
CC: (imitating Sponge-Bob) I'm ready, I'm ready.
Nom: I'm cooked.
Shauna: So am I, the game justβcompletely changed the colors on me.
4c: (to Nom) Are you not still here? Did you back out?
Nom: Mm mm.
4c: Oh. (three seconds of the clock ticking)
Shauna: 4c got excited for a moment. (CC laughs)
Nom: I wasn't gonna rat you out.
CC: So you're safeβ
Nom: I was just in it for the bit. (4c laughs)
CC: There's one bit that might be visible but that's about it.
4c: I see what you're talking about, that bit. (three seconds of silence)
Nom: Honestly, probably just leave-just leave it.
4c: I'm leaving it, I'm leaving it, to see how they do.
Rusty: Yeah.
4c: How did Rusty get that close, that's scary.
CC: Yeahβ
Nom: Yeah, the fact thatβlike, that's the thing, that's how good 4c's spot is, is the fact that you can do this, [Abolish moves up the painting, barely missing 4c's body] and he's still not being seen. Like, it's ridiculous. (4c laughs in disbelief)
Shauna: Oh wow, he's like really flatβ
Nom: Yeah, his spot is really really good.
(the sound of a whistle)
4c: Oh god, oh my god, oh my godβ
4c: Oh god. Oh god. (4c giggles nervously)
Shauna: Let's go.
4c: (through laughter) Oh god.
Shauna: Uh oh. (the sound of a whistle)
Nom: Like if I take-if I turn nameplates off, he's just gone. (sound of a gun firing)
4c: (high pitched) Oh!
CC: Yeah, no, he-he's just straight up gone.
Nom: Like he, like even whenever I zoom all the way in on him, like it's. It's crazy. (four gunshots go off)
4c: (through laughter) Oh my god. Jesus Christ.
Nom: What a day.
CC: Yeah, he is in that, yeah, he's right there. (the bell dings, signifying the Hunters won) (Nom laughs) Hey heyyyy.
Abolish: Yep.
Shauna: Oh my god.
Nom: That's-that's insane.
Abolish: I had to likeβlook, and it was only the slight gray thatβmade my eyesβ
4c: I wanna go see the other ones. I wanna fly around.
Shauna: Do not look at me. (Nom goes up close to 4c's now visible body, zooming in to view the differences before flying away)
Abolish: (overlapping) That was really good 4c.
CC: (overlapping) You can-you can just press left click and teleport 4c.
4c: Oh, ooh. Honestly Nom, for the-for the lack of time, that was actually (noise goes off and banner appears on bottom left that indicates that 4c gave Nom an 'eeyan' [thumbs up]) that wasn't bad.
Nom: Bro no my-mine was chopped, immediately, man, it was fucked. (Nom goes back up to 4c's painting and a clicking noise happens to indicate that Nom gave 4c an 'eeyan' [thumbs up])
I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like heβs only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????
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hi el you should unleash more of your 4c brainworms :D
ok ! basically cute things must die. i mean i don't think he's cute. unrelatedly it's perfectly fine to fall for bait. it's bait like what else are you meant to do, not fall for it? i mean we need to kill him. because he's cute. or whatever. ? he just needs to die for very vague and unspecified reasons. probably something to do with nom. or. whatever.
ugh fuck i need to come up with an actual post now. here's something that 4c said once:
4c: i'm not the, uh, the biggest karaoke enjoyer, and there's a reason for this, okay? it's not because of like, singing. i don't mind singing. singing is fun. but the reason i'm--i was nervous about karaoke is because i am the type of person who really hates being put on the spot with things. um, and, and because of this, um, how do i--how do i describe this?
4c: i'm very--i'm very like, stubborn. and so like, if i don't--if i feel like, awkward and uncomfortable and i don't wanna do something, i will say no, and i won't, uh, i won't do like--or like--i'll say no and i won't do it.
4c: um, so like on previous stream, like a long time ago, friends of mine wanted to like, karaoke stuff and they wanted me to sing. and they were like, "come on, 4c! sing! sing! sing!" like chanting, right? and i did not want to sing. so i said no, like i'm not gonna sing. and it was really awkward because i said no, and then they tried to like, push me to sing, and i didn't sing, and then it was like, this really awkward situation, right? and so that's why i've always been afraid of like, karaoke stuff.
which is quite something, when you contrast it with these two moments from day 5 of bannerfall, where he was forced to meow (meuw, mow, idk) on stage for entertainment, and he actually does do it the second time in an incredibly. affected? voice
the original stream was a year ago, and in it he talks about getting over the karaoke thing. so. choose ur conclusion. did he actually successfully get over his discomfort with being put on the spot? did he do that in an unfortunate way where he was forced to get over it as a consequence of being a streamer and being subject to so many fuckass bits that he has to play along with or risk ruining the atmosphere? is he actually just completely fine with all of this in bannerfall, and the fact that he's not really saying no is his way of asking for it? i mean um. hey look here's another moment from bf day 5.
shan: i can do that.
4c: no, no, no! {repeatedly} wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
shan: i'll wait! i'll wait, i'll wait!
4c: no, don't--don't--no!
shan: what am i waiting for?
4c: it's not a--that wasn't a--that wasn't a request to wait! that's just saying no.
shan: what am i waiting for?
4c: waiting for--for me to say, "please don't do that."
i wish there was more social existence you could participate in laying down. I wish there were cafes that were two little futon beds parallel to each other with a low table in between so you could eat and drink while lounging. I wish there were group activities like painting or glazing clay or theaters that were designed to have beds and bed-height tables instead of chairs. I wish there were beds alongside benches outside for anyone to use. I wish air mattresses or roll-out beds were as common as cheap shitty chairs at things like barbeques, beaches, and concerts. so much life would open up to me and be enjoyable if I could lay down instead of sitting or standing for prolonged periods and completely wearing myself down with pain.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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