fangirl on fire

viggo mortensen’s appeal as aragorn is 70% the voice, 25% the scene where the wild horse saves him from drowning, 12% hair, 8% ‘the beacons are lit!’, 3% swinging around the broken blade, 1.03% spitting soup back into the bowl on a windy day, .3% the way he speaks elvish (which mostly fits into the voice, but its elvish so its special), and .0004% when he kicks the orc head and screams

This is blatant “smoking a pipe with his hood on in Bree” and “shoving the double doors of helm’s deep open” erasure and I will not stand for it.

It’s at least 60% shoving the doors of Helms Deep open and y'all know it

bard is a combat class which is true bc I’ve never met anyone in marching band that didn’t want to throw down

playing tuba in marching band means you can power walk 2 miles backwards on your toes in 16 minutes whithout bending your knees while carrying a 35lb blunt metal object with your arms held at right angles and blasting every extra gulp of oxygen you can spare without asphyxiating to make sounds loud enough to deafen the dead in an an act of pure unchristian violence, your bard is the party member who will teach you how to kill god by example

Color guard are the monks of marching band

the year is 2012. the avengers fandom is full of happy fics about clintasha and what happened in budapest. life is good