ROYAL PARDON

all portrayals are some form of mixed canon/headcanon based. you'll find characters from film/tv, literature, and musicals here, as well as a handful of original characters. please check out my carrd HERE for rules and updated muse list.

STARSEIZED. private multi-muse; featuring original and canon characters. ✮

“You’re with me on this one, right?” “Your strength gives me strength.” “Hey! Don’t you close that door!“ “Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies! Locusts! Anything but you! Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy!” “My girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You… are a catastrophe!” “Why do I put up with you?“ “Have you no respect for the dead?” “Ha! [NAME], please, I’m really not in the mood for you.” “I have just the thing to cheer you up.” “Oh, no, [NAME], not another worthless trinket. If I have to take one more piece of junk to the curator to try and sell for you– Where did you get this?“ “I lie to everybody. What makes you so special?” “Could you tell me how to get there? I mean, the exact location.“ “Oh, I’m so sorry. Now we must watch him strangle to death.” “Well, personally I think he’s filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don’t like him one bit.“ “Can you look me in the eye and guarantee me this isn’t some kind of a flimflam? Because if it is, I am warning you–“ “You’re warning me?“ “Oh, no. What are you doing here?” “I only gamble with my life, never my money.” “The only thing that scares me, [NAME], are your manners.” “Still angry about that kiss, huh?“ “Angry about that kiss? Well, if you call that a kiss.“ “Did I miss something? Are we– Are we going into battle?” “Um… by the way… why did you kiss me?“ “I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time.” “My good friend, you’re alive! I was so very, very worried.” “You always did have more balls than brains.” “Oh, for heaven’s sake, girl, it wasn’t that good of a kiss, anyway.” “Relax. I’m the map. It’s all up here.” “We’ve lost everything! All of our tools, all the equipment!” “Never did like camels. Filthy buggers. They smell, they bite, they spit. Disgusting.” “I think they’re adorable.“ “So, uh, what are these old mirrors for?” “Uh, here, this is for, uh, you.” “If I don’t make it out of here, don’t put me down for mummification.” “You don’t believe in curses?“ “I believe if I can see it and I can touch it, it’s real. That’s what I believe.” “Hey, tough stuff, try a right hook. Ball up your fist and put it– put it up like that. And then mean it. Hit it right here.“ “Okay, it’s time for another drink.” “Uh-huh. And unlike him, [miss/mister]… you, I just don’t get.“ “Ah. I know. You’re wondering… what is a place like me doing in a girl like this.” “Look, I– I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure seeker, or a gunfighter, but I am proud of what I am.” “I… am a [profession/being]. And I am going to kiss you… [NAME].” “Oh, I’ve dreamt about this since I was a little girl.” “That’s called stealing, you know.” “According to you it’s called borrowing.“ “It’s just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.” “Damn it! It’s a trap door. There’s gotta be a switch or something around here someplace.” “Come on. Let’s get out of here. Whoa!” “I thought you said you didn't believe in that fairy tales and hokum stuff.” “[NAME], I appreciate you saving my life and all, but when I signed on… I agreed to take you out there and to bring you back. I have done that. End of job. End of story. Contract terminated.” “That’s all I am to you? A contract?“ “You can either tag along with me or you can stay here… and try and save the world! What’s it gonna be?” “Yes, that is very romantic, but what has it got to do with me?” “You can’t leave me behind like some old carpetbag.“ “Coward that you are! [NAME], you are not leaving me in here!” “What friend? You are my only friend.” “I’m goin’ downstairs, get me a drink. You want somethin’?” “Patience is a virtue.“ “Come with me, my princess. It is time to make you mine for all eternity.” “You better think of something fast, because if I’m turned into a mummy you’re the first one I’m coming after.” “Do something! Do something! Not that! Not that!” “Well, I guess we go home empty-handed… again.” “How ‘bout you, darling? Would you like a little kissy-wissy?”