Fridge Bunny

Hell is empty and all the devils are here - William Shakespeare

apparently at some point when my now-girlfriend and i were flirting with each other but not quite in a relationship, she asked me how i felt about pet names, to which i replied “well you have to call them something” 

the fact that i have managed to end up in a relationship is really testament to my girlfriend’s patience 

wait

call that a freshlight

nothing like deep dicking an ice cold frussy

learning how to read was the biggest mistake of my life

Must be an important raccoon.

Someone didn’t do their transformation spell right

Did you think the mouse was just smooth and had yellow skin like a little Simpsons demon

The weirdest thing I’ve learned while working for pest control is that snails love rat poison and will actively eat it but hate seseme seeds

I should add that rat poison has NO effect on snails, and they just get super fat cause they gourge themselves in boxes of rat poison

absolute units

sassy comic

invite Her in

Oh if it isn’t that bitch-ass Italian city next to mine!!!!!!

You ever meet someone who is the human version of the sun and every time ur with them u just feel so warm