IMEMYSELF

27-04-2022

I have created my resume and started working on my professional skills.

I have cleared all the subjects in my first semester of my masters but still got a very low grade. Need to improve my cgpa(6.12) which was hardly a passing grade.

I have cut my hair very short. Transformed from very long hair to very short.  

Made small changes in diet: 

1. Taking lemon water with honey early in the morning.

22-04-2022  -- Day 1 thoughts

I have realized that I have nothing in me. I am a waste.

I do not know why I still do my job that I do. May be its only for my family to help them financially.

I hate the way I am living. I have neither have good personality nor have looks. I have nothing in me to feel good about my self. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.

I want myself to be happy but I don’t know what I want.  

I can’t even accept myself till now now everyone want me to accept someone else in my life or get accepted by that someone else .

I lost the feeling of love or like in my life. I have distanced myself from everyone. I can’t share anything with anyone. I don’t want to be a bother and they already have a lot themselves.

I can’t even complain about anything. When I tried to open my heart and say things and in return I get responses that involve me get compared to others. It is my life and not others.

I may not be perfect but I am me. I know I am not at all good.

I don’t trust anyone. I do not want to be used by someone with or without knowing.

I don’t know if the friends I made are still my friends. I wonder The one I was with them is the real me.  

I know there are walls around me but there is still a door which no one knocks.

I am not interested in money or in anything else.

I just want to be happy in my life. I do not know how to be happy. What makes me happy? I only know I am not happy right now.

I want to know what happiness is. I want to have memories that I want to cherish but I can’t remember any.

I want to live for myself.

I want to change for myself. I want record the change.