Random Rants About Life

I remember one time in high school one of my classmates, who is now one of my friends straight up asked me if I was a dyke when it was passing period, at the time I didn’t know what it meant so I just said no. Now I look back and ask myself how did I radiate such raw gay vibes that someone had to ask me if I was gay, when in reality I was bisexual and how do I use it to get a girlfriend ?

I just remembered something that happened when school was still a thing, in biology me and some friends were working on a group assignment, we were discussing what shows we watched as kids and one of them says if we have watched Chavo of eight which I didn’t know at the time that he was referring to El Chavo del Ocho, which is a Spanish show about a kid who lives in a barrel in the middle of a neighborhood. Everyone who I have meet and even when you look it up on youtube most of the time it’s in Spanish, so when he said it in English I was very confused and so was everyone else because everyone one of know Spanish so we would recognize the show’s name in Spanish when he finally told us the name in Spanish after a couple of minutes, the rest of us facepalmed because we all saw the show and it was only available in Spanish for us, so he made it harder to recognize the show by saying it in English 

My mom asked me how i would react if my brother is gay and i said he would be my brother i would not think any different of him. I asked her how she would react if he is gay, instead she said she would be mad if I was gay. because she wants grandchildren, first of all i’m bisexual and don’t want kids, second we were discussing this about my brother, not me. So now i’m not coming out to her until i move out and not have to deal with what ever will happen, i will also ask my brother to not tell my parents that I am Bi since i have already told him that I am Bi, so until i move out my life is one big YIKES.

I don’t really know the color of my dad’s eyes, because i don’t look at him in the eyes. When i do they look different then what people tell me they look like. whenever i have looked at him in his eyes they look dull, and grey, but when people describe his eyes they say it looks like shiny emeralds, a nice green color with some blue. Sometimes i see that he looks at everyone with some brightness in his eyes at everyone, but when it’s just me, my brother and mom he doesn’t do that he just look stern and angry. Sometime i just him to see him be happy when i look into his eyes instead of just dealing with him being angry. I don’t want him to yell at me just because i don’t know something and just blames it on why i’m in the computer if i don’t know anything, i just want to get away from him, then maybe i can stop feeling like i don’t matter just because he says that what ever i do on the internet is not useful and is worthless, just because it won’t help me in the real world.