SolSchem

ok ok ok but between this post, the ‘wilbur adopts tommy as a brother but phil does not adopt tommy as a son’ hcs, and the fact that tubbo’s semi-canonical box adoption happened when he was found by both phil and wilbur, i’ve realized that c!phil is not actually the serial child adopter you’ve all thought of him as at all. he’s just wilbur’s dad, and unfortunately for phil’s mental stability, c!wilbur looks at random bloodthirsty children with a penchant for mass destruction and decides they’re his new siblings without ever consulting his father on the matter.

wilbur has a tendency to just find animals and beg phil to keep them as pets and phil’s become numb to it and so when wilbur says behind him, “look, phil, meet techno! he’s a pig! can we keep him?” phil says “okay, you just have to feed him and take care of him-” and then finally turns around and realizes wilbur is standing next to an anthropomorphic pig child, and not, in fact, a pig. wilbur decides techno is his brother three hours into knowing him. phil is a pushover and can’t bear to crush wil’s hopes and dreams. techno is just going along with it.

wilbur knows that something is stealing food from their trash cans, and thinks it’s a raccoon. wilbur is also a kindhearted dumbass, and leaves out food for the raccoon. he hides on the porch to see it. it is not a raccoon. it is a feral blond child. wilbur hides said child (aka tommy) in his closet for a week before phil finds him, at which point wilbur tells phil and techno that tommy is his new brother. phil takes one look at tommy, and starts giving wilbur the “you have to feed it and take care of it” lecture while techno pokes tommy with a stick.

phil and wilbur find a small child sitting in a box one day, and wilbur takes one look at him and says “look, phil, a new brother!” and phil, so done, raising one child and having to parent two others out of necessity, sees a small toddler who is very cute and seems sweet and regular and thinks “finally, wil picks a normal one.” they bring tubbo home, and the next day phil’s one hope for wilbur’s taste in adopted siblings goes up in flames, dying with the swingset after tubbo builds a tnt cannon using spare parts and blows it up accidentally. wilbur and techno are delighted. tommy thinks tubbo is epic. phil invests in copious quantities of coffee.

phil, jaded, old, and retired, expected all of the accruement of new family members to stop after wilbur’s death. he’d suspected fundy might be like wilbur, and had watched him fearfully, but fundy has not yet adopted any siblings and so phil felt safe. and then he’s introduced to michael, whom tubbo and ranboo cheerfully declare he is the grandfather? of, and phil looks into tubbo’s eyes and realizes with some horror that it wasn’t fundy who took after wilbur at all, but tubbo ‘i acquire father and older sibling figures like i’m collecting pokemon cards’ underscore.

O OOO THIS IS SO GOOD, I dunno if Ranboo was in-character when he showed off his silk touch to Tubbo and Jack but it would explain his reaction when they said they wanted to experiment on him, he's used to being a lab rat but that doesn't mean he enjoyed it.

Ooohh !!!! Op can you explain the causes of the define features and scars from the art ??? I’m so curious on tubbo’s missing nail :000

YOOO BANGER OP ART WOO !!! I REALLY LOVE THE DESIGN OMG AND I NEVER THINK ABOUT TUBBO’S MISSING NAILS AT ALL BUT NOW YOU OPEN A NEW PATH FOR ME AHHAHAHA ILY OP THANK YOU

sam in his office in las nevadas trying to do paper work but he cant focus bc he keeps hearing this goopy noise so he checks it out and purpled is just beating the shit out of slimecicle bc hes made of slime and cant feel pain and purpled needs the stress relief

you know the spongebob episode where spongebob is getting bullied and when he actually gets punched by the guy it just tickles so the guy keeps punching him over and over until hes so exhausted he passes out. thats what happened with purpled and slimecicle

Sam isn’t paid enough to break up the fight

have i ever told y’all the story about how a snake knew I was trans years before I did

AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RFSEGHAJKSDFNBHSGYIAJFKJNBFDSYGIAHLJDNBFHIUODSFHFBGKGSDFJFNKDGSJDFBISUJKFNM,G AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ALSO OH MY GOD PHILS LITTLE HEART EARRING AAA

just found out pigs are red-green colorblind which would be Hilarious for techno if redza shows up

since technos long server absences have been canonized as “hybernation” and the last genuine lore stream he streamed was the syndicate stream, does that mean all the social interaction was just way too much for techno and he just went back home and passed out immediately after the syndicate meeting because if so. solidarity

tumblr dream smp discourse is hilarious. the political science majors are having a field day dissecting this minecraft roleplay

everyone is collectively chasing the euphoria of being Right in ap english lit class except it’s minecraft roleplay

Ah yes, If I write this long analysis post on characterization and have a thoughtful take on dream smp characters I will get a good grade in Fandom, something that is both normal and possible to achieve,

IM GOING THROUGH IT