#solkovs

#SOLKOVS  :      an independent   &  selective  adaptation  of    “  ALINA  STARKOV  ”   from  leigh bardugo’s    GRISHAVERSE   with  minor  influences  from  the  netflix  adaptation  of    SHADOW  AND  BONE.      multi - everything   &   mutuals  only.    as  portrayed  by  maggie.        OTHER  BLOGS    :   +    +    +       ART  CREDIT :   +   +   +

             𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ; frightened of his own power & desperate the feel the light of the sun upon his face. Terrible nightmares he could not escape until he accepted a simple but painful truth. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 & 𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒. It is the same for her , he thinks. Years without ever using her power have sucked her dry of energy , of feeling comfortable in her own skin. You can only deny who you are for so long. Grisha power only enhanced Grisha. It brought them to life - benefitted them in unimaginable ways. He has seen the proof himself. 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 ; who cannot without revealing who she is to him to every one else. She now searches for a warmth that seems unavailable to her , shivering and shaking and clenching her teeth. He wonders if Alina understands now now - accepts the truth of who she is , what she is. Grisha.              He arches a brow. “Do you still think i’ve made a mistake Miss Starkov? that you are not who i think you are?” 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒? ; until she could see herself as he did? as the others? she was the saviour , the promised. “I do not think even Baghra could explain herself to Baghra.” 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 - and yet he thinks there is a truth to them. The old woman would argue with herself until she was blue in the face if given the option. He was the very same way. 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋. “A journal.” This was a dangerous move but he must make her believe as he does - must instill in her that the antlers existed and to do so , he required Morozova’s journals , or at least , one of them. His mother thought them the ramblings of a mad man , that her father had lost his mind but he knew better.  “I know it all sounds terribly boring but i promise you will not be disappointed.”

it  felt  so  entirely  different  to  feel  like  light,    rather  than  to  feel  frail  and  weak.    it  was  a  true  testament  to  who  she  was  at  her  core    —-      she  wanted  to  feel  like  this:      ALIVE.          she  always  wondered  why  she  felt  like  she  was  falling  further  and  further  behind  and  couldn’t  keep  up  with  mal  when  they  were  younger.    repression  of  herself  only  amplified  those  feelings,    and  instead  of  dwelling  on  it  for  too  long,    alina  chooses  to  allow  herself  to  bring  her  focus  back  on  the  darkling.      she  understands  it  better  now  .  .  .      allowing  herself  to  lean  in  to  who  she  is  only  made  her  feel  more  and  more  like  herself.      even  in  her  moments  of  doubt,      she  feels  like  she  can  trust  him  completely  and  that  pull  only  deepens  when  they  are  in  each  others  presence.  

once,  he’d  been  angry,  confused.  he’d  been  lost.  now  he’s  been  found  –  heart  changed,  more  accepting  that  she  is  and  always  has  been  something  more  than  they’d  both  had  ever  known.    (    even  if  he'd  doubted  for  even  a  moment  that  she  kept  this  big  secret  from  him.    )    even  more  important:  the  fact  they  both  no  longer  deny  that  there’s  always  been  something  there.    (    something  they  tried  to  hide  or  ignore.    )

now  it’s  all  out  in  the  open.  and  as  he  holds  her  close  to  him,  leaning  into  that  kiss,  he  feels  a  grin  tug  at  his  lips  the  moment  they  part.    ❝    i  missed  you,  too,  alina.  –  i  won’t  ever  let  you  go  again.    ❞    that  time  apart  and  those  moments  of  confusion  had  plagued  him.  but  he  promised,  and  will  always  keep  that  promise  of  making  his  way  back  to  her.  a  hand  reaches  up,  claiming  her  cheek  within  his  palm.  gentle  stroke  of  his  thumb  runs  along  the  underside  of  her  eye  as  he  holds  her  gaze,  unable  to  contain  the  grin  that  only  grows  in  size.

there  are  some  days  she  wishes  she  could  go  back  in  time  to  see  if  she  was  capable  of  discovering  her  power  early  on,    but  then  she  wouldn’t  have  gotten  the  chance  to  know  someone  as  genuine  and  kind  -  hearted  as  mal.      perhaps  their  hearts  wouldn’t  have  walked  down  the  same  path  if  that  were  the  case    —-    they  never  would  have  had  the  opportunity  to  be  where  they  are  now.    she  wouldn’t  have  traded  that  for  anything.      she  understands  now  why  everything  had  happened  in  the  ways  that  it  did.        they  didn’t  have  to  hide  anymore;      they  could  exist  in  peace,    just  the  two  of  them.