dumb

Open up your heart, Judson

Put some AR500 plates in em. 

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

@alyssterinec

@justsomebirdie

How pissed would you be if you were in an M4A3 in 1950 when your buddies behind you get to chill in a Pershing

How pissed would you be if you were in an M4A3 in 1950 when your buddies behind you get to chill in a Pershing