hi everyone, â^. .^ââ Â i go by vayne (any pronouns). i humbly present to you jo nariâelusive familiar always contending her true nature. beneath the cut, i provide a (hopefully comprehensible, concise and digestible) outline of her story and other (psychological) attributes that i believe will contribute meaningfully to shaping your first impression of her character.
she is nine years old when she transforms for the first time. it affects her deeply, of course. changes something fundamental in the way she views the world. and herself. she does not have the words for it but she now knows something is wrong with her. itâs a suspicion sheâs always had so the feeling strikes her less as a question of how could this be and more so with the closure of confirmation. the definitive this is why that resonates all throughout every empty corridor she feels inside. of course she is something else. the other. she does not know her parents, after all. it must have been her fault.
she is eighteen years old when she comes to terms with it. nari calls this otherness the devil. the internet calls it paloma de punalada. it means stabbed pigeon, named so for the blotch of red weeping down its chest. she does not like when birds are killed. she resolves to continue calling it the devil. the librarian calls her too and says that they are closing. nari takes her bag and she goes where she is supposed to be going. that same, fuzzy feeling of finality tingles all over her again. sheâs been feeling it for years. it only gets warmer the more steps she takes. invisible hands at her back pushing her forward. a good feeling.
a bad feeling. in a village square something else consumes her. another. finality is actually a bolt of lightning. what and where it hits, it vaporizes. she does not mean to kill those people. she kills those people. the real devil is there inside the village, clad in white. the real devil is there inside of her. instead of tears, the blood of enemies; instead of flowers, their arms in ashes. something was there inside the village. invisible hands around her wrists keep dragging her forward. she tries to run.
now she is older. now she is at the school. now she knows that thing gnawing at her is unstoppable and anomalous and rooted inside the flesh of a man. now she knows that they are called familiars. now she knows that pull. it is an intrinsic bond unified through something omnipotent and cosmic. predestined and therefore the rest of her life has been decided.
um. initial thoughts that i have are that nari is very malleable. also very detached. she emulates people and uses that to build a bridge over the disconnection between her and whatever is beyond her. itâs insincere but itâs not underhanded (in the sense of her having an ulterior motive). her experiences with others inform her how she should be (like how animals assimilate to humans essentially). the initial understanding that she is something âwrongâ dissolves as she gets older and now she just considers herself a natural aberration. not anyone definitively âbadâ.
not angled toward a specific purpose because (she thinks) the meaning of her existence has already been decided for her (her bond with her witch) which leads to a kind of⌠depersonalization (for lack of a better term, i guess). it affects every aspect of her character. sheâs methodical, contemplative and meticulous. her feelings donât occur instinctively. they always come after extensive forethought. sheâs not really someone who lives freely and without conscious effort. but she isnât sad! important to note. she is just ghostly woman. phantasmic otherness teetering the edge of existence/what it means to exist. transient. all of this will be better depicted in my actual writing (i hope).
i prefer to brainstorm together instead of coming up with plots on my own, it is true⌠i am available through tumblr ims if you would like to do this brainstorming. thank you and i am very excited to be here⌠thangya...
