january  5  2021.

for such a prominent singer, jiyeon smokes as if her days are numbered.

there’s not much around for ready complaints, kiarra could chide her for the lack of self care but what would that do? she could feign disgust over the smell yet she probably wouldn’t be able to keep up that lie for long enough. her consistent muttering bleeds into background noise that’s comforting enough, at least she doesn’t have to be the one to do the talking, the company compensates for the smell she supposes..

“this doesn’t bother you?” it appears she’s a mind reader, all smiles despite the clear distaste she feels for everything.

“no” her mouth feels dry, the new years air is stark and cold, seizing her by the throat in an attempt to keep her in place. “my mom smokes”.

it seems jiyeon thought she was going to say used to, her mother isn’t that genuine, it’s easy to be miserable all openly now that she hasn’t seen kiarra in a good four years.

her eyebrows furrow. “every time you give me an anecdote about her she sounds awful”.

kiarra would never say that, possibly having her childish naivety cloud her better judgment no matter what. she’s an adult whose seen enough of what that woman is capable of, still, she’ll never utter those words herself.

her knees knock together, hands clasping in a hope that heat will emanate from the embrace.

she assumed rooming with two she’s pretty much incompatible with, the insanely outgoing jiyeon and the easily mischanced madoka, she’d possibly have a heart attack before debuting even rolled around, gone insane from the tumultuous arguments that plague the two, not that the company would do much in the considering department if she did leave, they offer replacements on several platters, they’d have no problem swiping her out.

she finds that they happen to be sweeter than they appear, somewhat off putting comments aside.

madoka often drones on about stupid stuff in her sleep, of course that doesn’t make for a good night but kiarra finds sleeping terrible either way. she’s occasionally afraid the other is having nightmares she isn’t communicating to anybody else about, wouldn’t be the first time somebody close did such a thing.

jiyeon, for all her exuberance, gets unequivocally silent post-10 pm, she creates certain limits for herself. she doesn’t sleep easily per say, simply quiets down so that kiarra doesn’t have consistent headache fodder when she’s supposed to finally relax before spending all day at the company.

kyuhyun’s always asleep early, kiarra isn’t anxious about reaching out, simply unaware of when he’ll see her late night messages.

he’s about the only person she’s got in this group of pseudo strangers.

you could always just come stay with me.. （>﹏<）it’d make things way easier

you’re such a baby.

how certain people would feel about that is beyond her understanding, that entails eavesdropping, and she’s unsure of how she’d be able to succeed at that one.

january  10  2021.

practice makes kiarra wish exiting the group were a viable option at a time like this.

certain things happen in the same manner as they always do; they do great for a good hour before somebody (though there’s only three specific people who do) messes up the formation, they have to restart, somebody else (gianna, ever so persistent) starts an argument with another member (always narae), and they go at each other’s throats whilst the rest take that as a gracious opportunity for a break.

in moments like this kiarra forgets she’s sort of obligated to break up fights like these. how does she earn any semblance of respect from her members if she’s much too anxious to break up a stupid fight? what’s the point of being chosen as a leader if she can’t even act like one?

dasom looks a blink away from sobbing and moeka continues to egg it on. madoka keeps tripping on her feet, eleanor is somehow in the middle of this argument and hyejin’s gonna start recording if it gets physical, possibly noting down in her head who she thinks the winner of the showdown is going to be.

kiarra rubs her temples together.

“do you not know what a cue is?”

“of course i do, are you aware that people make mistakes? you probably aren’t right because your seolhee’s perfect little girl that can do no wrong, right? you’re such a suck up—“

kiarra (gently, very gently, for an indescribable reason she’s afraid of breaking eleanor) moves eleanor out of the way, instead taking her spot. “okay, great, amazing you two let off some steam, can we practice now?”

and she isn’t exactly putting her foot down, not yet..

“could you tell gianna to stop being stuck up?”

“how am i— were you not just yelling at me!? you’re a hypocrite!”

as they drone on, kiarra claps her hands. “can we all get back to our positions please? you all know where you go..”

and fortunately they listen, shuffling footsteps somehow bringing solace to her ears. she then glances between the two, sucking her teeth. “you two can go at each other’s throats when our debut isn’t a week away, you don’t have to get along, just don’t hold us up every single day”.

she wishes her irritation would manifest in something much more intimidating, but if the others are listening then it happens to be a step in the right direction.

“could you tell gianna—“

“tell me what? please enlighten me, i’d love to hear another one of your sorry insults”.

“for the love of god could you two be quiet!?”

if kiarra were preaching what she sowed, she would throw a punch, however, that’s a very different story for a very different mode of practice. “it’s everyday with you two! if you can’t get along like the civil adults you’re supposed to be then we can just do it without you, wouldn’t be the first time..”

yes, she’s angry, they deserve it.

“and if that isn’t the case then get back to your positions”.

she drops her arms at her side, pleased with herself, then sighs as she gets back to her own.

“alright! are we ready to continue?”

kiarra takes a glimpse to her side, smiling at their dance teacher. she nods, no need to check if the others desire her attention.

“okay! from the top then!”

january  14  2021.

“you always been such a hard worker miss?”

seolhee has an extent of a superiority complex kiarra can barely comprehend, she’s afraid the older woman is going to murder everybody in this building when they don’t comply with her every need. it’s a continuous cycle she struggles to keep up with, afraid to utter such a thing.

she then glances back at kiarra and the other wants to die, she really is terrifying. “well— um.. yeah i guess so”.

“is that why kyuhyunie likes you so much?”

the nickname causes a scrunch. seolhee pinches her nose, placing a curse upon her fellow partner in the room. “give the poor girl some credence, fucking idiot..”

kiarra is unsure of how much she appreciates such a defense. sam kwangseon is.. well he’s a talker, the staff typically irk her in all their muddled mutters and shifty looks, besides kyuwon unnie along with the rest of the managers.

“you better watch your mouth, you’ll make way for another scandal”.

“nuri doesn’t call anymore so now you have to take it out on me!”

apparently caught red handed, seolhee crossed her arms, acting as if she was completely unaware of kiarra’s presence in the room. she had heard mentions of such a woman, she was still working here when kiarra joined the company; nuri, vandelia, mrs. baek, half of the groups creative team, they had something of a falling out and she left, taking aejeong with her.

she retains no more information besides that one.

“don’t mention that in front of her, kiarra!”

she again startles backward, like a child caught between a parental argument, though seolhee could never be bestowed as ‘parental’, she probably hates kids, wouldn’t be completely out of character.

“if you want to, you could always pitch in yourself”.

kiarra is aware that statement is a bit of a lie, choreographing is serious, too serious for her to just ‘pitch in’, but seolhee thinks she’s a magician of sorts. maybe she does know everything like she implies, but kiarra can only ever investigate silently in the confines of her mind.

“debut is in a week, my contributions won’t be much..”

it’s as if she thinks kiarra has never eavesdropped on conversations like this before.

seolhee smiles, kiarra is never sure if it’s any real no matter the context. “well you won’t know if you don’t try”.

kwangseon scoffs at seolhee’s after school special of a response, the former actress running through her veins, she’s such a performer.

kiarra guesses she can’t exactly blame her, it was a disaster in the early days, the persona was simply formed as a sort of coping mechanism..

however that may help, she’s rich and powerful now.

“well that’s all we needed, go home now, it’s late”.

and for a single, naive moment; kiarra almost believes she cares.

˖ ࣪ ،̲،̲ ⊹ ִֶָ with the typical five tracks to its name, empyrean serves as a silly introduction for an otherwise much darker story. flames arising and implications of a corrupted government aside, the ep is eaisly a fun time, described by reviewers as ‘surprisingly refreshing’, it indeed was more of a success than anybody could have expected..

. . .    ⊹     a clear distinguisher to the tracks which follow after it, empyreal serves as a confusing opener which appears to have a sinister undertone. it appears so sweet, but then you watch the corresponding film and bitches are dying! astra has some blood on her hands, so much for being a good guy. the song is sweet, serving magical girl realness!

. . .    ⊹     okay so now we're taking a complete 180, guys why is the world ending? anyway, the title track dreams come true appears as more of the end in comparison to the beginning. the lyrics, the instrumental, the bridge?!?!???? okay apocalypse soundtrack!! fuck the bsides being better, this song is pretty much phenomenal.

. . .    ⊹     again, complete 180, i'm sure seolhee hates cohesiveness, kinda.. our second bside love o'clock stole the ranks of music charts, and really, it's no surprise as to why. it's catchy, has that repetitive chorus, and the girls know how to use those voices, hit the notes narae! it isn't exactly all replay worthy, after a while the repetition bleeds into your ears, but it's cute.

. . .    ⊹     a pretty sweet way to depict the monotonous nature of sleepless nights, somnolent, a tune which results in levitation, they might actually be participating in actual witchcraft. it is perhaps the most relaxing song of this album, the serenading vocals could put you to sleep, i fear it's my favorite. the last forty seconds of this song saved lives, so serious.

. . .    ⊹     now coming to a perplexing conclusion, speed of love is the bside which, though a confusing addition, is beautiful. the backing vocals make me rise, the lyrics are heavenly and it's all packaged up in a perfect three minutes and fifty-five seconds song. it leaves the story on an uncertain note, a genius move storytelling wise, when it fades out, all you want is more, you desire the truth of a barely coveted tale, and i think it was beautiful.

˖ ࣪ ،̲،̲ ⊹ ִֶָ the publics general consensus of this album was that it was a 3.75 out of 5 ☆'s.

. .  . ﹙ ଘ ﹚ the story ¿

beginning not exactly in the beginning, more in the center, the overarching tale of empyrean transcends the greek myth regarding that of fate's three sisters. clotho spins the thread of life, lachesis measures its lengths, and atropos decides on the exact moment the thread snaps. when we are dropped into the story, the thread of life has been snipped by the scissors of the final sister, the prospect of animation draining from the pupils of the saint, blood staining the hands of a girl cloaked in white, she was meant to be a symbol of protection, she ended up orchestrating ones demise.

the endless linear notes and hidden messages in the flashes of music videos introduce us to the universes center, the phoenix, less of a woman, more of an entity. her subjects had been massacred, her own life culminated into an incident of purging, now risen from the ashes of a torched resting ground, she vows to make each of them pay. arising flames or severed heads, she doesn't allow for them to pick their demise, yet it draws itself out anyhow. following her demise and subsequent rebirth, she becomes akin to a deity, worshipped by those around, collecting disciples with every fallen man.

. . . ⭑ the leader

kiarra is synonymous with the concerned furrowing of eyebrows, she is a worrier through and through, compassion naturally coursing in the blood running continuously among her veins. she keeps the confrontation at a minimum, less of condescension and more of disquietude. it appears to her that the leader role is a wobbling stool just about to collapse under her feet, and when it does, she won't be able to handle the pressure.

born 05.10.01, described as loving, compassionate & concerned, positioned as leader, main dance, sub vocal, played by kwon nayeon.

. . . 𖤐 the star

jiyeon remains a force of nature. her strength outweighs the sweetness of her smile, the action typically drawing perturbation from those outside. her perfectionism is her biggest flaw, because for all the fortitude, the act crumbles when she is pushed too far, when the prodigious power slips from her fingertips, what can she do but break down? what happens when the star can no longer shine?

born 08.19.01, described as resilient, vigorous & notable, positioned as lead vocal, lead dance, played by kim minjeong.

. . . ꕤ the hapless

madoka is prone to messes, nothing of a four leaf clover on her side, it's more akin to a collection of black cats perched atop her windowsill, shards of glasses from her broken mirror spread across the floor. though masked by sugary delights, she can't help her scoffs, the twitch of her facial muscles and suffocation of her expressions barely get past anyone, she too often lets herself be put alongside the effervescent feeling of vulnerability, but if they attack, she won't be afraid to let blood paint her hands.

born 12.20.01, described as cataclysmic, blissful & tenacious, positioned as lead dance, lead rap, played by honda hitomi.

. . . ଘ  the servile

eleanor keeps her blood pumping organ as the ruler of her several mannerisms, the only way to fit is to let the others reign above. they step all over her, belittle her, figuratively stab until all that's left is her crushed resolve, and she simply allows for it to happen. how amusing, disliking others yet almost bending to their whims whenever met with them, her squeamish nature cracking her down piece by piece. she doesn't enjoy the divulgence aspect, yet the feelings always appear to pour out against her will.

born 02.02.02, described as obsequious, amiable & abashed, positioned as main vocal, played by yoda yuki.

. . . ❥  the sanguine

gianna can bring the assurance you need to the table, though far from fully equanimous, such an adjective could be an appropriate term. she's a good voice of reason, despite the clear difference which can't help but lace her expressions, she has the ability to calm most situations. her mind can equate to a scrambled mess, though the tranquility outshines the villainy she's portrayed to possess.

born 03.20.02, described as assertive, self aware & prideful, positioned as main dance, lead vocal, center, played by noh hyojung.

. . . ꥟  the scornful

narae really isn't all that bad, the abrasion may put you off for the first few weeks, but she's not all that. she's sure of what she deserves, and she remains self assured no matter the challenge thrown her way. if you peel back the layers, there's the realization that she can be amusing, a pleasant person to be around, hardworking, that one is a clear distinction. the nose scrunches and glares may be excessive, but is there something necessarily wrong with staying on your feet?

born 10.29.02, described as domineering, diligent & mystifying, positioned as main vocal, lead rap, played by kim jimin.

. . . ᪥  the actress

yinuo often has her traits attributed to the several fronts she keeps screwed up. though bashful in some cases, she can be a loud mouth, uninhibited, her mind trails off much too often for her to take the time to genuinely take thought. the thrusting into fame at such a young age fucked with her mentally, and maybe that's why she constantly feels the need to put up an act. everyone already does it anyway . .

born 11.09.02, described as impulsive, theatrical & unsure, positioned as lead vocal, lead rap, visual, played by wang yiren.

. . . ✧  the audacious

hyejin is ready for anything you'll throw her way, sometimes, people feel as if she's an alien who crash landed on earth by accident, her fearlessness seems to extend as far as her questionable choice of words. she doesn't pick sides, if there's a fight, she's simply awaiting the oncoming punches. grins are permanent marks across her facial features, snickers a taunting sound, it's clear that she remains a topical figure.

born 11.28.02, described as daring, valorous & aberrant, positioned as main dance, lead vocal, played by baek jiheon.

. . . 𖦹   the curious

eunbyul is best characterized by the inquiring scrunch of her nose, something of a curious cat you can say, it just seems to be a mystery on if the intrigue will be her very own downfall. of course, the slightest bit of naivety carries her forward, an uncanny trust in those who seemingly don't like her. she wants to prove she can be more than a tool, but the believability of that fluctuates as much as her own childlike curiosity.

born 01.02.03, described as gullible, probing & amicable, positioned as lead rap, sub vocal, played by kim suyeon.

. . . ❅   the analytical

moeka thinks if she were left alone with her own thoughts, insanity would soon follow. she's the kind of person who thinks deeply, scrutinizing every single detail of every possible situation. there's always an undertone, always something off about the movement of someone's eyes, it's terrifying in a way, it seems everyone is strange in one way or another. she knows much more than she lets out, courtesy of her endless listening.

born 07.17.03, described as methodical, picturesque & reticent, positioned as lead vocal, lead rap, dance, played by serika nagano.

. . . 𖧷   the artistic

honami truly only needs the muddled terms dancing around in her brain, if insanity were to follow for the previous member, prosperity would most likely follow behind her. though reserved, she's expressive through dance, analogically written song lyrics, scribbled diary entries which get the perfect look of her innermost thoughts. the anger reflects in the pressed strokes of her paintbrush, if it had a specific color, she assumes it would be red.

born 04.21.04, described as perceptive, ingenious & indecisive, positioned as main rap, lead vocal, played by hirokawa mao.

. . . ᡣ𐭩   the divine

dasom truly exemplifies her name, as if the sole mission was to aid in the excessive spread of love around her. she loves like she breaths, her hugs tight, her words stuttered, and the affection .. somewhat prevalent. it's a shame that such a good trait can simply be put off by those around her, she cares, but they don't seem to. she keeps it all completely tucked away, unable to dictate her anger towards those who deserve it. she hangs around to be a shoulder for others yet not have one of her own, she spreads love, yet can't even earn it herself.

born 05.18.04, described as mousy, affable & a peacekeeper, positioned as main vocal, maknae, played by kim jiwon.

beginning in 2017 after a company rebrand, the concept was put away immediately, the idea for a girl group shelved in favor of a boy group instead. still, seolhee would not be deterred, as she kept her position in louvix audio, she continued with her insistence, secretly collecting a group of twelve girls who the group would compose of. without the company knowing why they suddenly had an influx of female trainees, seolhee created the group with just her and the girls knowing.

with the groups initial debut cancelled as it collided with the debut of their labelmates, their creative director almost gave up, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel, their debut would fall barely a year after that, they were in the clear. through the turbulence, seolhee was somehow able to persevere enough ( she actually opted to ‘persevere’ through yelling! )

meeting the world on january twenty first twenty twenty one, the group was a full lineup of twelve split into two parts, the first subunit is called lumis ( 루미스 ), latin word for daylight consists of your run of the mill heroes, the good guys, the all-knowers, the second subunit lucid ( 맑은 ), meaning to shine in latin, are your certified bad guys, the evil ones, your worst enemies. with their concept simply consisting of ‘ witches that have beef ! ’, it made for great intrigue.

. . . the name phoenix symbolizes that of rebirth, the group will rise up from the ashes in a beautiful display of renaissance. their fandom name pixiz is a combination of the well known tales of pixies, which are those of fairies, and the addition of the letter ‘ z ’, which, in some cases, can symbolize a degree of ‘ spirituality ’.

the groups lineup, split into an equal 6-6, consists of the typical; the six lumis members astra, eden, narae, hyejin, honami, and dasom. then, the six lucid members kiarra, madoka, gianna, bea, eros, and cherry. your usual battle against good & evil full of love confessions, punches, and interesting morality deep dives. is there really genuine evil in this story? what contrasts the good characters from the bad ones? will this story have a happy ending?

phoenix represent the fire and flames, the act of vengeance, fighting for what you believe whether or not it may be right. the music itself usually isn't that deep, but the music videos, concept films, and insider album notes delve into it all in stark detail. is rejoicing better than the act of revenge? or should those who've been reborn carry on with their own malignancy in an effort to rebuild?