{ do not go gentle }

            She’s stunned for a moment. A flash of Jasper on the rocks with a spear in his chest and the sound of him choking. The nightmares she’d had for weeks after the incident bubbling to the surface. Except it’s not Jasper’s blood soaked gasping and the blonde blinks a few times to come back to the just as nightmare-ish REALITY in front of her. It’s Thalia’s. Clarke remembers to suck air into her lungs and then pushes herself out of the tight confines of her now-crunched seat and maneuver to the soldier’s side as Bellamy forces his way out of the driver-side door. A well-oiled machine in their synchronization. 

           Clarke’s heart aches as she get’s closer, blood shot eyes pleading with Clarke to do something. To stop the pain. To fix her. To end it. Jasper’s wound had missed major organs. He’d had internal bleeding that Trikru had stopped with their healing salve once the spear had been removed and he’d been bandaged. Thalia’s wound was something entirely different. How high it was on the chest, the blood seeping from her mouth… it had torn through her lungs. So wide and jagged that Clarke was helpless. Already too late and there’d only been moments since the crash. The medic takes her friend’s hand, Thalia’s grip already weak and eyes knowing. Like Atom in the forest, Clarke has nothing but MERCY to offer. 

                         “ Thalia… ” Her voice croaks and the other woman shakes her head, not ready to leave just this moment, though she had seemed to accept her fate. It’s then that Clarke remembers how devoted the soldier’s family had been on the Ark. How they’d always been so full of faith, attending the sermons at what they thought was their last living tree. Clarke can’t help but feel bitter at the thought. Look at where her FAITH had gotten her, and yet she recites the goodbye they were taught. The one she’d recited too many times for such a short life. 

                          “ In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. ”

          The next line burns on the tip of her tongue. There was nothing safe about their journey to the ground. It’s sour and tarnished, and it’s as if Thalia can hear her thoughts because she squeezes Clarke’s hand one last goodbye before she let’s go so Clarke can move her. A deep breathe and the blonde positions her arms around the soldier, to cradle her entire body before they shift. “ May we meet again. ” A gasp of pain is muffled in the crook of Clarke’s neck as she’s pulled into the Commander of Death’s arms and off of the metal rung to breathe her last breath. 

            It was all so quick that Clarke barely has time to process it when she hears Bellamy’s ROAR and the shot of his gun. She sets the lifeless body on the floor, covering it with one of the travel blankets and suddenly the back doors are open and she feels someone grab her leg. She can’t breathe, feeling not only the real hands pulling her out of the rover, but imaginary ones around her neck, breath in her hair and the snarl that’s haunted her for months. It’s only momentarily before she grabs one of the benches to hold before she’s fully out of the vehicle, trying to pull herself out of a grip as she cries out in frustration, fighting off the flashbacks as well as the grounder rebel. Finally Clarke squirms a leg free and without hesitation it cracks back down, her captures nose cracking under her boot and she manages to catch her breath enough to scream;

                         “  BELLAMY! ”

       There aren’t many grounders, but they’re still outnumbered. It’s just him and Matt against them — and his comrade’s hand is shaking. Bellamy can see the terror in the young recruit’s eyes. Barely out of training and this is what he gets. ❛ Keep steady, ❜ Bellamy murmurs to him before pushing from their scarce hiding place against the rover and turning to shoot. Only a couple left.

      Matt follows him and takes one down with a fierceness that only real battle can inspire. But it’s not enough and Bellamy sees it happen before it actually does. The grounders arm pulls back and the spear is thrown and Matt isn’t ready for this kind of thing. He was so young when they came down on the Ark. He hadn’t been expected to fight, unlike the teenagers sent down with Bellamy. The spear slices through the other boy’s chest with the ease of death and he slips away before he falls to the ground.

       Bellamy nearly expects himself to be next — after all, his eyes are on Matt, not on the last single grounder left to fight. But nothing happens and it’s not until a shriek of his name comes crashing through his ears, landing with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he understands why. He turns, gaze wide and fearful, and he sees Clarke, pulling against the grounders grip. Of course it’s her they want. The rest of them are just collateral damage.

      ❛ Clarke! ❜ He yells her name with anguish and fury, but he can barely hear it as he rushes forward, grabbing at the grounder’s shoulders, yanking him off her. Gun forgotten in the rage that Wanheda still exists in this group’s eyes. He’s stupid to drop it, but he can’t think straight. Doesn’t even consider pulling the trigger to get rid of the threat easily because he wants his hands on the grounders throat. Wants to know when this will all be over.

      They fall back, away from Clarke, and stumble together. A tree stops their descent to the dirt and Bellamy’s back is pushed against the bark, his arm still wrapped tightly around the grounder’s body. But the other manages to turn and, as soon they’re facing one another, Bellamy pulls his arm back to send a punch flying. Only his fist falls because there’s a tearing in his skin, near his side. In his own desperation to save Clarke, he hadn’t noticed the knife. Hadn’t seen the grounder pull it out as they landed against the tree.

      It’s not painful at first — a soft grunt from his lips the only indication of injury — until the grounder yanks it back out, twisting slightly, ripping through Bellamy’s flesh. Eyes move down to where the knife had just been and he brings shaking fingers to the wound, drenching them in blood almost instantly. He doesn’t know what happens to the grounder, but he’s no longer in front of Bellamy. Can’t even tell how long it’s been.

      But she’s here and he feels his legs lose their ability to stay steady. He falls against her, away from the tree, and his hand tries to grip her shoulder as she catches him, but he only leaves a bloody handprint on the fabric. Her fingers are gentle as she lowers him and he’s not here anymore because it’s like a time long ago. He can’t forget it. Her hair had been streaked with red.

Only, she’d come to save him then.