°｡⋆⸜ aero ꩜ .ᐟ

although you and maki were just friends, you’ve always been comfortable enough to sleep on the same bed. in fact, you liked cuddling up against him, his body warmth and protective arms always made you fall asleep much easier and faster for some reason.

and tonight was no different.

after a movie night at his apartment, you decided it was best to just sleep over and go home in the morning. but while you rolled around restlessly on his bed, he busied himself screaming away at the massive computer screen that flashed of gunshots and death. something he’d been doing for the past three hours without a care in the world.

all you wanted was to snuggle with him and fall asleep against his bear-like body after such a long week but you knew it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon if that stupid computer was on.

“maki.”

“AHHHH KILL-” the call of his name finally has him turning his head mid scream, eyes wide of curiosity, “yeah?”

“come to bed already, i’m tired.”

“you can sleep first, i still need to destroy this shit with the guys.”

you pout to yourself, annoyed that he wasn’t giving in. but you were just so tired, having not slept properly thanks homework and assignments and of course, not being able to see maki for a whole week.

without much thought, you sheepishly make your way over to where the big kid sat in his gaming chair. you carefully squeeze in between him and the table before settling onto his lap while facing him, even going as far as moving yourself little by little so you eventually straddled him. he’s startled for a moment, the man no longer clicking his life away. he watches in complete silence as you shift comfortably on his lap, your entire body leaning against him now as you lay your head into the crook of his neck.

you and maki had always been close, beyond close to some, but even this was a little too intimate.

“please come to bed... i want to cuddle.”

you can hear the very loud gulp he makes when your ass accidentally brushes over the forming tent inside his sweatpants but he doesn’t dare move.

both nicholas’ and yuma’s voice continues to echo loudly from the headset but maki only responds with was a mere “got to go bro” before abruptly switching off everything. if you knew it was this easy, you would’ve done this hours ago.

although a little hesitant, maki finally places both of his hands at your waist, softly squeezing it to comfort a very tired you.

“lets go to bed then, hm?”

his breath softly hitting your cheeks tells you that he’s dangerously close. there’s a strange feeling brewing in the pit of your stomach, your entire body feels like it’s on fire from from being this close to him.

with his arms securely around your waist, maki stands up with you in his embrace while you snuggled in comfortably. you know this should’ve felt strange... but it didn’t.

and that scared you.

he gently places you down into his soft haven of white sheets before flicking off the lights, switching it with the small lamp on his bedside. the man quickly fills up the space beside before fetching the sheets to cover your bodies. naturally you roll onto your side to get a better look of him and although there’s a lack of light, you could see him already staring at you... but with a look you’ve never seen before.

and nervousness finally kicks in, the uncertainty of what was to come, really starting to mess with your head. you acted so impulsively, a little too shamelessly, without worrying about the consequences.

“i’m sorry for leaving you for so long.”

“it’s okay.”

he scans over your face for a brief moment, eyes darting between your eyes and lips as if asking for permission and in a split second decision, you leaned right in. your mind had barely processed the fact that you were now kissing your best friend, not until you feel him pulling your body closer to deepen the kiss.

there is a very thin line between friends and everything thereafter and by kissing him, you knew there was no going back, that you’ve now crossed into the very grey area you’re both secretly scared of.

but maybe deep down, somewhere in the pits of your heart, it’s something you’ve always wanted and judging by how he’s kissing you back, you have a feeling it was the same for him too.

end.

your eyes blink open, drops of rain smashing against the foggy windows. you let out a grunt from stretching when you feel euijoo move a little closer to you. you halt your movements, not wanting to disturb him. you love him most like this, simply existing. cheeks puffed, hair a little messy.

he slowly opens his eyes, catching your gaze. a soft smile plastered across his face as he turns onto his side, draping an arm over your waist, pulling you in closer to nest his face in your neck. his finger tracing circles on your skin, absentmindedly.

you try to escape his hold when his hand reaches up to pinch your nipple. pulling you closer into him. his half-hard cock now resting against your thigh.

“please,” he whispers.

your plan to be early at work falling apart at once. you roll over, placing sweet kisses all over his face. looking to take revenge on him for resolving your plans, you grin mischievously as a move over to settle between his legs.

your lips move down his body, leaving slow, deliberate kisses as you go. your fingers trace lines on his thighs, sliding up to rest at his waistband. euijoo lets out a little moan, his hand finding its way to your head, gently caressing. a soft, needy plea.

you pull his boxers down in one smooth motion,

his cock springing out. he was gorgeous. thick, fully hard, the head flushed a deep pink. a pool forming in your lower belly. you use one hand to spread him open, leaning down to take one of his balls in your mouth. a low moan escaping his lips as you roll your tongue around his nuts, making sure to give both equal treatment.

you slowly lick up his cock, swirling your tongue around the tip that's coated with precum. you place a kiss on his sensitive tip before taking him into your mouth. euijoo watches as your lips wrap around the head. “Oh my god… oh fuck...” cries falling from his mouth, only making you wetter.

euijoo's moans only grow louder when you take him further into your mouth. you hollow out your cheeks, pressing your tongue against the underside of his shaft. wet, obscene sounds flood the room as you suck and slurp around his cock.

you pull off to catch your breath before his fingers that once threaded so gently through your hair now gripped it hard, forcing you to take him deeper. gagging softly when his tip meets the back of your throat.

you let out a breathless whine against his cock, your movements growing eager when you feel how close he is.

poor euijoo, everything is becoming far too much for him, so he starts to thrust up, fast. his hands following the same cadence.

“i’m gonna–gonna cum–” a choked moan escaping his lips

your head barely moves a fraction more before he completely loses control, coming undone on your tongue, legs shaking violently. euijoo's cock twitches, hot seed spilling into your warm, wet mouth in pulsing ropes.

you suck him through his release, swallowing everything he has to offer as the last tremors of his orgasm fade.

you pull off with a wet pop and lift yourself to meet his lips, kissing him slow, and desperate. the bitter taste of him still lingering on your tongue.

his hands settle on your hips, holding you close as you whimper softly into his mouth. euijoo pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

"my turn baby," he murmurs, his voice low and warm. "please let me make you feel good too."

@yumaszn on Tumblr only!! do not copy or translate my work or feed it into ai.

"If I don't get up, they can't make me leave." Harua is lying on top of you in bed, fully dressed for travel.

His airport outfit is crisp and wrong against the sheets, his leather jacket gone but his jeans still on, his t-shirt still tucked in like he is ready to walk out the door. Instead he has thrown himself over you, chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat, pressing down with his full weight like he can fuse the two of you together through sheer force of will and make himself impossible to extract.

"They'll just carry you out," you say. "I've seen your manager. He's scary."

"What if I just... don't get on the plane?" he asks. "They can't tour without me. I'm essential."

"You are essential," you agree. "To them. To me. That's why you have to go."

"But I'm going to perform terribly," he protests. "I'll be thinking of you the whole time. The fans will know. They'll boo me off stage."

You giggle. "Oh please."

"This is a tragedy!" Harua declares. "Shakespeare could write about this. 'Harua, who loved too much, taken away by evil company who tours too much.'"

You laugh now. "You're so dramatic."

"I miss you already," he murmurs. "I need to be closer. Closer than this. Why are there clothes between us?"

"I'm literally underneath you," you point out. "Being crushed by your ribcage. Physically impossible to miss me."

He can feel your heartbeat through his own shirt, through yours, through the cotton that's suddenly offensive. He finds the hem of your t-shirt with his fingers—it's riding up, just slightly, from the friction of him lying on you. He traces the exposed strip of skin at your waist. It's cooler there. Goosebumps rise under his thumb.

"Why are there clothes," he says again, but what he means is why is there anything. He wants to unzip his own skin and crawl inside. He wants to be the air in your lungs, the pulse in your throat. He wants to feel the way your artery jumps when he says "miss you", like the word itself is a touch, like language has weight and he's dropping it on your neck.

"Your skin is warm," Harua whispers, his lips brushing the curve of your shoulder. "Can I be under it?"

"That's not medically possible," you say, and your voice does that thing where it sounds casual but your heart is doing a drum solo against his chest, thud-thud-thud, traitor, traitor.

Harua's mouth twitches. He knows. He always knows when you're deflecting with vocabulary, using syllables like sandbags against the flood. But his thumb is still tracing figure-eights on your hip, and your body is voting against your better judgment, your spine already curving to give him better access.

"Then just... under your shirt."

The pleading does something to you, unclenching something in your chest that you didn't know was fist-tight. You could keep teasing. You could quote anatomy textbooks or make a joke about needing a scalpel. But his eyes are so dark, and his fingers are hooking in the hem with such deliberate care, like he's asking the fabric for permission too.

He ducks under before you can speak, the cotton lifting, ballooning, then settling over him like a shelter he's built to hide inside. You feel the drag of his stubble first, rough against your navel, then the heat of his open mouth pressing there, breathing you in like he's trying to steal your oxygen. 

"I need to memorize how you feel," he whispers, the word half-swallowed by your skin.  "Every inch. With my hands. And mouth."

He pushes the fabric clear to your chin, baring you to the daylight, and then his lips are there—sealing, warm, drawing you in with a hunger that makes you gasp. He sucks with his whole mouth, tongue pressing flat then flicking, while his palm spans your other breast, anchoring you to the mattress with the weight of his attention. The dual sensation—wet heat and rough palm—sends gravity pooling low in your spine, pulling a moan from your throat. 

"Make it hard for me to leave," he breathes, shifting to lavish attention on your other breast, teeth testing just enough to sting. "Make me want to stay." He drags his mouth lower, planting open kisses down the center of your chest. You feel him smile against your sternum when your fingers tangle in his hair. "Make me late for the airport," he whispers, the words vibrating against your heartbeat.

"Harua..." Your voice comes out broken, wrecked already, and he hasn't even—

"We have thirty minutes left. That's enough for three times." He kisses your jaw, your throat, grinding his hips against yours so you can feel exactly how much he means it. "Four," he amends, "if we're quick."

You smile, a little wicked, cupping his face as you kiss him deeply. "Thirty minutes is enough for one really good time," you murmur, pressing yourself tighter against his obvious hardness.

A low, satisfied sound rumbles in his chest. “Yeah… I like that.”

You see his hands are actually shaking, trembling with need, as he untucks his shirt. He drags it over his head in one rough motion, revealing his dancer's build, every ridge of muscle, every frantic rise and fall of his chest.

He abandons his own clothes to get to yours. Palms sliding up your thighs, hooking fingers in your waistband and dragging everything down. Your panties go with them. Then your shirt is tossed aside.

The air hits you first, cool and indifferent. 

Then his eyes.

You are not someone who gets naked gracefully. You have a narrative about your body—softness in the wrong places, angles that catch light unflatteringly, the thousand tiny betrayals of flesh. But his fingers are trembling as he drags your shirt free, and when he freezes, you want to cover yourself, cross your arms, build the wall back brick by brick.

But he doesn't look disappointed.

He looks undone.

You are open, naked, and he charts you like territory he's losing. His fingers drag slow down your abdomen, counting your ribs like beads on a rosary, pressing into the softness where your legs meet your body. His breath comes jagged, too loud in the quiet room.

His shirt comes off and your brain shorts out—dancer's build, yes, but frantic, the muscle not posed but alive, chest heaving like he's running a marathon. You want to bite the ridge of his hip. You want to leave marks. The want is red, loud, drowning out thought.

He scrambles to the edge, stripping socks, wrestling his belt. "Stupid, why won't you—" He curses softly, metal catching. "I'm nervous," he admits, laughing breathlessly, darkly. "I'm actually nervous. I've seen you naked a hundred times and I'm nervous."

He stands. Lets his pants fall. Kicks them aside and climbs onto the bed—naked but for the watch, the leather band still fastened, the only proof he was ever dressed. He settles between your thighs, buries his face in your stomach, breathing you in like he's trying to get drunk on it.

"Perfect," he murmurs, the word vibrating against you. "You're perfect." 

He hasn't even tasted you yet when he says it.

He drags his tongue up in one long, flat stroke as he gathers your arousal. The noise he makes is ravenous, desperate, rumbling against your flesh like he might die without more.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good," he promises, breath hot and damp.

Then his lips close around your clit, sucking you between them with gentle pressure before his tongue starts fluttering rapid, relentless flicks. Your hips buck off the bed, but he is ready. His forearm pins across your pelvis, heavy and immovable, holding you still while he works you with his mouth.

"Damn," he breathes against you, the vibration making you whimper. "So sensitive today? Is this because I'm leaving?" His tongue circles lazily, teasing. "You gonna miss this tongue?"

You can't answer—can only gasp as he slips two fingers inside you, curling them immediately, pressing against that spot.

"Fuck, Harua—"

He looks up at you from between your thighs, chin shining with your arousal, eyes blown wide. "This is what I'm gonna think about," he says. "Every day. Every night. This right here."

His fingers work you in steady rhythm while his mouth returns to your clit, refusing to stop even when the pleasure borders on too much. He licks you through the aftershocks until you are whimpering and pushing at his shoulders.

He finally pulls back, dragging his mouth across your inner thigh. "Ready for me now?" he asks, crawling up your body, hard and heavy against your hip. "Ready for more?”

Harua crawls up your body immediately, mouth finding yours in a messy kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. He doesn't break the kiss—mouths still tangled, breathing shared—while he notches himself against you, the blunt head of him burning, demanding entry. Then he thrusts deep in one unbroken stroke—no lingering, no delay—just the raw ache to be hilted where you're tight and welcoming and completely his.

"Goddamn," he gasps against your mouth.

His arms slide fully under your back, hands gripping your shoulders from behind, using the leverage to pull you down onto him even as he pushes up.

"You're blushing," he pants, forehead pressed to yours, eyes open. "All the way down your chest. Cute."

His breath comes faster, matching yours, sharing the air between you as he sets a deep, grinding rhythm.

"Three weeks without this," he groans, knees spreading wider, shifting the angle so he hits that spot inside with every thrust. "Without you. What am I supposed to do?"

One hand detaches from your shoulder to touch your face, your throat, then your breast—fingers pinching your nipple before sliding back to grip your hip.

"Fucking hell, I'm not going to last," he admits, the rhythm stuttering, losing its finesse as his hips snap harder. "I wanted to make this slow but you're—" He groans, long and broken, burying himself to the hilt. "—you're too good. Too fucking good."

He comes first, unable to hold back, burying himself deep and pulsing inside you with a cry that breaks against your neck, your name tangled up in the sound. He stays there, twitching and oversensitive, but before he is even fully soft he is moving again—thumb replacing his thrusts on your clit, circling with desperate precision. "Don't you dare leave me here alone. Come with me. Come on me."

You come apart around him, the waves rolling through you. You feel them starting where he’s pressed inside you, radiating outward like he’s struck a tuning fork at your center. Your spine arches off the bed, your fingers find his shoulders and dig in, anchoring yourself to something solid as the rest of you dissolves.

He doesn't look away. Even through your blurred vision, you feel his eyes—fixed, hungry, devouring your unraveling. His thumb keeps its rhythm, merciless, prolonging the shudder until you're gasping, oversensitive, begging without words for him to stop and never stop.

Then his hand shifts to cradle your face, thumb tracing your cheekbone with a tenderness that hurts worse than the pleasure. The kisses that follow are lazy, scattered, worshipful. Each one a stitch binding you back together.

"I love you."

The words land soft in your hair, and your chest does this traitorous little flutter thing—oh, we're doing emotions now? Great timing—but you can already hear the imaginary honk of his manager's van, so you shelf the feelings for later, next to the laundry you also need to do.

"Love you,” you say, already scanning for his socks. “Hate this. Please put your airport face back on."

"My hair's a disaster," he says, patting it down uselessly. "I look like I got electrocuted. Worth it, but still. The airport face is going to be slightly humiliating."

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

hope you enjoyed it 💋 reblogs = my fuel, thank you in advance!

masterlist

debrief time:  HARUA CHILL BRO IM EASY lord this man is too fine for my weak heart. wrote this entire fic being super self-indulgent and i fear i am down astronomically bad. harua i’m begging you just one chance i promise i’ll be so good… anyways as always, no beta we die like my proofreading skills. lmk if i made any mistakes or typos!

you and taki have been friends for as long as you could remember. the two of you grew up on the same street, so you two naturally grew up together. if your parents couldn't find you, they knew you were at taki's, and vice versa.

it was just the two of you until high school when harua joined your group. he was a new student and got paired up with taki for a project. the two of them hit it off leading taki to introduce him to you. you quickly accepted him into your little friend group.

people were a little confused at times at your friendship. you and taki were practically the same- all smiles and energy while harua was more tame. he was more quiet and reserved. they didn't understand how it made sense- not that it matter because it made sense to you guys.

you two were often his voice. if he got something he didn't like, or if he got what he didn't order, you were the first to speak up for him. if there was someone messing with him, taki was the first to step in, even going as far as getting suspended from school for a week for fighting someone who was bullying harua.

harua never complained, loving that the two of you cared about him so much to do these things for him, but there were moments that he didn't feel like he fit in with the two of you. usually, either you or taki were able to figure out when he was feeling like this, and the two of you would make him feel better, but lately things have been different.

it started a few months ago right after you three started college. even though the three of you had completely different degrees, you all still spent plenty of time together because taki was very adamant that the typical friends separating after high school wouldn't happen.

but lately, harua had seemed more quiet than normal. it was subtle, but enough for you to notice. he wasn't as responsive to conversations, often choosing to stay silent and listen. when he did respond, it was shorter and more forced, usually because either you or taki had to beg him to answer.

but then you noticed something. taki had to meet up for a group project, and you needed to study for an upcoming test but didn't want to go to the library alone. when you asked harua to join you, he acted like he was back to like he usually was. he was more interactive and actually engaging in conversation without you having to force him to. you thought that maybe he wasn't feeling well before.

but a couple of hours later when taki joined the two of you, things changed. harua went quiet again, acting completely different than the past few hours. even when taki sat next to him, aggravating him into talking more, he wouldn't budge.

this led you to think that maybe taki had somehow upset him since he only acted this way when taki was near. as soon as harua stepped away to use the bathroom, you quickly followed after him.

"rua." you grabbed his sleeve, stopping him in the hallway. you've done this plenty of times, holding onto his sleeve when you were out in public. he normally let you hang onto him, but this time he brushed you off confusing you. "what's going on?"

"nothing."

"something is clearly bothering you." you argue, knowing that he was lying to you. "how am i supposed to help if you don't tell what the problem is?"

he lets out a sigh. "i don't need your help because there isn't a problem."

"bullshit." you snap, not liking the way he was acting. "you've never acted like this. not when you were completely fine a hour ago."

"maybe i do now."

you frown at his response. "why?"

you hated how that came out, nearly begging him to tell you what was wrong with him. he could tell to, freezing for a moment making you think that he had snapped out of whatever this was. but he shook his head before backing away again. "drop it."

you wanted to argue back and make him tell you what was wrong, but you knew you wouldn't get anywhere. he and taki were the same in that sense- stubborn. if he didn't want to tell you, he wasn't going to. no matter how much you begged him too.

"whatever." you mumble as you back away from him somewhat defeated before leaving him alone which was what he clearly wanted. you quickly walk back to taki, think that maybe he may have said something since that's when he started acting weird is when he showed up. "what did you do?"

taki looks at you as you stop next to him, somewhat offended that you would ask such a thing. "what do you mean what did i do?"

"he was acting perfectly fine until you got here." you tell him. "did you say something to him?"

taki shakes his head but he refused to meet your eyes- a tell sign he was hiding something. "i didn't do anything. i swear."

"you're lying."

"no i'm not!" he exclaims when he saw that you weren't convinced. "trust me. if he has some sort of problem, it has nothing to do with me."

you stood there for a moment. if harua didn't have a problem with taki, then who did he have a problem with? was it you? is that why he was acting like that in the hallway?

your stomach drops at the thought, unease filling your chest. there was only one reason you could think of that could've made him act like this- something you tried so hard to keep hidden.

your feelings for him.

you realized your feelings at the beginning of senior year, and you tried to act normal because the last thing you wanted to do was ruin your friendship or to make things weird. except taki knew you too well, figuring it out out without you telling him. of course you threatened him to keep it a secret, and he promised he would.

but what if you weren't being as subtle as you thought, and harua figured it out? that would explain why he was acting like this. the distance and the attitude he just gave you. that would also explain why taki looked like he knew something you didn't. like he knew that harua knows about your crush, and that he didn't feel the same.

he didn't feel the same- not if he was acting like this. you didn't really think he would like you back, but it still hurts that he doesn't. you don't let it show though, forcing your expression back to normal. if he didn't feel the same, that was fine, though you thought it was ridiculous that he was acting like this instead of telling you.

you move to sit back in your seat. "taki, did you still need help with that paper?"

he quickly jumps up, sliding into the seat beside you. he pulls up the part he needed help with, and you quickly lean over to help him. harua eventually returned to the table, eyes instantly landing on you. you could feel him staring at you throughout the rest of your session, but you don't look at him. maybe it was a little petty, but so was he.

the next time you all hang out together in the student's longue, it feels different- more tense.

you doubted that taki noticed because he was too busy telling you and harua something that happened in class, but you felt it. and you know harua felt it too because he was acting even more distracted than before, almost refusing to acknowledge that you even exist.

you waited for it to pass and for him to say something even remotely towards you, but nothing happens. he just sits there either playing on his phone or staring at you, looking away before you could meet his gaze.

the energy shifted even more when taki pulled out his phone to show you two a video he found, and since you were sitting next to him, you had to lean onto his shoulder to see. taki notices that you were having a hard time causing him to lean back, pulling his arm around you, so you could all three see the screen.

that's when you notice something.

you see harua move out of the corner of your eye. when you glance over, you notice that his jaw was clenched, anger filling his expression before he drops his gaze to his lap.

you thought that it was a one time thing, but then you start to notice even more. every time you did something that involved taki, he would tense in some way. you laughed at his joke, harua was rolling his eyes like it wasn't funny. you fixed taki's hair- something you do to both of them frequently, and harua letting out a sigh.

that's when you realize that his problem wasn't just you, it was both you and taki. harua was completely fine with you, and he was fine with taki. what he wasn't okay with was the both of you together. you tested it one last time and throw your feet onto taki's lap, watching as harua excuses himself to use the bathroom.

it made you think you were completely wrong before because if he didn't feel anything towards you, he wouldn't be reacting like this.

"have you figured out what his deal is yet?" taki asked as you tucked your legs back underneath you.

"i would be stupid if i didn't." you answer. taki nods his head, not saying the exact words out loud, but it was clear that the two of you were on the same page. "you are an asshole though for making me think he had an issue with me."

taki shrugs. "he kind of does. just not the kind you think."

"how long until he snaps?" you wonder. you knew that you weren't going to be the one to confront him, and taki knew that. he knew exactly what you were doing earlier and chose to lean into it as well because both of you thought that harua was going about things wrong. the two of you knew that there would never be romantic feelings involved with between you two.

"it can't be much longer. he looked like he wanted to rip my head off before he stormed out of here." he answered before looking back at his phone. "yuma wants to us to go out with him and some friends tonight."

"us?" you ask.

"me, you, and harua." he answers. "this week has been stressful. let's have some fun."

"i'm all for it, but you know rua isn't a fan of clubbing."

he let out a sigh. "you go get ready, and i'll ask him."

to your shock, taki messaged you a few minutes later saying that harua agreed. you get dressed in a short dress that made harua do a double take, but you didn't get any further reaction out of him. you met up with the others before heading into a club that yuma picked out, and as soon as you stepped in there, taki was pulling you to dance.

the two of you kept your eye out for harua while you danced. even though he was acting like you didn't exist, you were still going to make sure he wasn't uncomfortable or anything. last you checked, he was talking to a mutual friend jo, but when you glanced back a minute later, he was gone.

"taki, where's rua?" taki immediately stopped dancing and started looking around. "he was just with jo."

"i'll check the bathroom. you check the bar." you nodded, watching as taki disappeared through the crowd before you made your way to the bar.

you didn't really expect harua to be at the bar, but you were wrong when you spotted him sitting on one of the bar stools. what shocked you more was that he was sitting next to some girl you didn't recognize.

she was pretty, smiling brightly as she told harua something you couldn't hear. your chest tightened when he laughed at something she said. for the first time in weeks, he looked like the harua you knew- like he wasn't acting like you didn't exist.

the sureness that you feeling earlier that he felt the same washed away the more you watched them. you realized you were wrong and read too much into things because how he's acting now is the way someone is supposed to act when they like someone, not like how he was to you. maybe he did have an issue with you after all.

that thought alone brought tears to your eyes faster than you could blink them away. there wasn't any way you were going to cry in the middle of this crowded bar. you turn before anyone sees you, pushing your way through the crowd.

you don't breath until your outside, letting the cool air calm you some. you pull out your phone to let everyone know you were leaving. you walk away to head down to the bus station that passes campus when a voice stops you.

"why are you leaving?" you turn around to see harua standing there. it was the first time you two have been alone together since he snapped over a week ago. "what's wrong?"

you glance up at him, realizing that you were taking too long to respond. "nothing. just tired."

"you're lying." he accuses, angering you. you know he didn't just say that when he's been lying to you the past few weeks.

you let out a scoff. "doesn't feel good, does it?"

"what does that mean?"

"nothing. i'll see you later." you turn to leave, but his hand catches your wrist before you could get far. you try to pull away, but he doesn't move. "let go."

"what's wrong? you weren't acting like this earlier." his words make you snap, finally snatching your arm away from him.

"how would you know? you've been ignoring me all week, acting like i don't exist, and now you want to know what's wrong?" his eyes widen slightly at your words, not expecting you to go off like you were. sure, he's seen it plenty of times, just never towards him.

"i wasn't ignoring you." he tried to argue, but you weren't listening to him.

"could've fooled me." you let out a small laugh. "but whatever, it's fine. we can just go back to you acting like i'm the worst, and i'll keep taking it because i-"

you stop yourself, refusing to finish your sentence because the last thing you wanted to do was confess your feelings when he doesn't feel the same. you go to move away again even though it doesn't matter because harua follows you.

"because you what?" you don't answer him as he steps even closer to you. "yn, because you what?"

"nothing. it doesn't matter." he almost looks frustrated as you move away from him again. you hear him let out a sigh before grabbing your arms, keeping you from moving away again. "harua-"

"i'm not letting you go until you talk to me. i know i've been awful to you, and i know i deserve the way you're acting, but you were almost in tears when you left. so please tell me what's wrong."

you kept your gaze on the ground. you knew if you looked up, you would break and tell him everything, but the tone of his voice as he almost begged you made you look up at him.

"you really want to know what my problem is?" you ask, waiting for his head not before continuing. "you."

"me?"

you ignore the moment when he looks hurt as you continue. "yes. you. why have you been acting like i don't exist, huh? you've been acting like someone i don't even know when suddenly, you're in there smiling and laughing like there's nothing wrong. am i really the issue?"

"no, you're not-"

"then why her?" you ask, anger slipping into something different. "why are you acting like that with her, but when it comes to me, you won't even look at me?"

you look up when he doesn't say anything. his gaze was locked on you as he stilled, like he finally realized what you were saying. "i've been acting like this because... because every time i'm with you two, you're constantly sitting next to taki, laughing at his jokes and leaning on him. and it's- i don't know."

"making you jealous?" you ask, watching as his eyes widen. he tries to take a step back, but this time you follow him. "come on, rua. you've been acting strange all weak. just tell me the truth."

he let out a sigh, knowing that he wasn't getting out of this like last time- not when you almost had him backed against the alley wall. "i didn't want to act like that. i just didn't know what to do. every time i saw you two together, it got to me."

"good to know that both of the guys in my life are stupid." you mumble, getting a scoff from harua. he tries to open his mouth to argue, but stopped when you stepped closer to him, leaving almost no room between you. "because why would i ever look at taki the way i look at you?"

you lift up your hand, trailing your thumb along his lower lip before running it across his cheek. his eyes drop to your lips for just a second, but it was all you needed to close the distance between you two, pressing your lips to his.

he freezes for a moment, like he couldn't believe what was happening. once he did, he kissed you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. and just like most of the time, you took the lead, slipping your tongue past his lips and deepening the kiss. you could feel his hands shaking, a soft sigh slipping past his lips.

when you pulled back, you heard him make a small sound of protest as you rested your head against his. "now. is there something you want to tell me?"

his hands twitch from where he was holding onto you, fingers digging into your waist like he never wanted to let go. "you already know."

"so?" you shrug, watching as he pouts since you weren't making this easy for him. "i want to hear you say it."

"i like you." he admits. "a lot. and..."

he trails off, almost embarrassed by what he was going to say. "and what rua?"

"i got jealous of taki." he answered quietly, looking away so he couldn't see your smile.

"now was that so hard?" your question made him laugh.

"you're actually the worst."

"and yet you like me." you mention, brushing his hair out of his face. "i guess it's a good thing i like you too, hmm?"

whatever hesitation harua may have had disappeared as you said that. you stumble into his chest when he pulls you closer to him, lips sealing over yours before you could blink.

once you got over the shock, your hands slide to the back of his neck, fingers threading in his hair. his hands trail down your sides, freezing when he felt that your dress had ridden up. you feel him gasp against your lips, and you take the chance to pull away. your lips glide along his jaw, teeth nipping at this skin just hard enough to have him holding back his sounds.

"yn-" you hear him call out your name, making you pause. he hand his head tilted back onto the wall, eyes screwed shut. your first thought was that maybe you went too far.

"rua?" his eyes snap open to meet yours. "are you okay?"

for some reason you weren't aware of, your question made him blush. "yeah. i'm fine- more than fine. it's just..."

he shifted, and that's when you felt it. "oh. you really are more than fine, aren't you?"

"yn." his face went even more red at your teasing. his eyes widened as your hands fell from his hair before slowly sliding down his chest until his hands wrapped around your wrists, stopping you. "you're not helping."

you smirk when you feel him become even harder just by your touch. "do you want me to?"

your question took him by surprise. his jaw dropped for a moment before closing it- not too sure on how to answer the question. you could tell how much he wanted to say yes if the tight grip he hand on your wrists said anything. you didn't think he would answer you at first, but he nodded his head, a small yes sliding past his lips.

"come on then." you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bus stop.

"what about your room mate?" he asked making you shrug.

"she went home for the weekend, so we have the place to ourselves." you smiled when he blushed at your answer. when the bus pulled up, you once again grabbed his hand before dragging him to the back of the bus. it was dark, and there weren't many people on which was perfect for you as you two sat down. you moved close to him, resting your hand on his thigh. "so rua, how long have you wanted me?"

you feel him tense as he tried to hold himself together. "a- a while."

"how long is a while?" you ask, drifting your hand higher up his thigh. his eyes were locked on your hand as it stopped right next to his very obvious bulge.

"yn... we're in public." he whispered, face red as your fingers just barely grazed him. he bit his lip to hold in a groan as you palmed him through his jeans. "yn- please."

"i've like you since high school though i've always thought you were attractive." you answer like you weren't making him lose his mind. "i'm pretty sure it started when you let your hair grow out. but i wasn't the only one who liked you, was i?"

your movement slowed as you watched his reaction. his eyes opened to meet yours, a quiet sound leaving his lips. "you- why?"

"i was jealous of julie because she had the confidence to ask you out." you tell him. "taki figured out my crush when i tried to sabotage that date you two went on."

"i didn't like her. you- god... you know this." his hand wrapped around your wrist, keeping you from pulling away again. you could feel his hips tense as he tried to keep still.

"i know. you had me tell her, remember?" you ask, kissing the corner of his mouth. "i thought maybe it was because you wanted me, not her. but then you started ignoring me."

"i- i was jealous." he admitted.

"i know you were. a part of me almost didn't want to be mad when i figured it out because you look hot when your jealous." you say, pulling your hand away from him making him whine. "it's our stop, jealous boy."

you stand up before moving towards the front of the bus. you hear harua stumble as he rushes after you, grabbing your hand as soon as the two of you get off the bus. his grip was tight as he walked next to you during the short walk to your place.

you could feel his eyes on you the entire time, but you didn't look over at him. it wasn't until you stepped foot into your place and slipped off your shoes that you did, seeing him standing there with the same look he had on the bus.

"are you staying?" you ask, walking up to him. you smile when you hear him scoff at your question. "if you don't want to go any further, i won't push you. but if you stay, you're mine."

his hand finds your cheek, thumb brushing along your lip. "then i'm yours."

he was prepared, hands finding your waist as you pulled him flush against you, lips on his. he didn't have to hold back his sounds anymore, groaning against your lips as you palmed his now painful bulge. "my room now."

he quickly slid off his shoes before following after you. you pushed him onto the bed before climbing on top of him. his hands were digging into your waist as your lips found his neck, teeth grazing his skin. you knew how sensitive he was, feeling him squirm as you continued to mark his skin as you made your way down his neck.

you pull away for just a moment making him groan. you smile as you sit up in his lap, tugging at his shirt. you barely got the word off out before he was taking off his shirt. "good boy."

you lean back down, continuing your trail down his chest. he jumped when he felt your tongue flick over his nipple, a moan sliding past his lips. you let your teeth graze over it before moving down his stomach. you stop when you reach where his jeans rested low on his waist.

"can i?" you ask, tugging at his jeans.

his nod was instant. "yes. please yn."

you unbutton his jeans before sliding both them and his boxers down his legs. you could already see him leaking and begging for your touch. harua let out a moan as you wrapped your hand around him, thumb smearing precum before you start moving your hand at a tortiously slow rhythm. you watched his eyes squeeze shut, your name leaving his lips as his hips jerked towards your touch. your put your hand on his waist, holding him down.

"be still for me." you tell him making him nod his head. you speed up your pace, listening as his sounds get louder, but he stays still. "aren't you being such a good boy for me? why couldn't you be good earlier and not ignore me?"

his whine was instant, tensing to avoid thrusting into your hand when you squeezed him in your hand. "i- i..."

"tell me, harua. treating me like that isn't nice, is it?" he shook his head at your question. "so how are you going to apologize to me?"

"i- i'm sorry. i didn't think you felt the same so i-" a loud gasp came from him when your lips wrapped around him, hollowing your cheeks as you fit as much of him as you could into your mouth. "god- you feel so good."

though his words made you flush, you pulled away from him making him whine. "that doesn't sound like an apology."

he groans when your mouth is back on him. "i'm sorry. i'll do whatever it takes to... mhmm... earn your forgiveness. just please don't stop."

you do what he asks, keeping your mouth wrapped around him as you sped up your pace. your mouth and hand moved in unison, watching his reactions. he eyes were screwed shut, mouth open as his hands fisted the sheets beneath him.

you could tell when he was getting close, making you pull your mouth off of him- your hand moving slowly along his length. he lets out a loud groan, opening his dazed eyes to look down at you. "you look so pretty like this, rua."

"yn..."

you raise your brows at his whine. "what is it? what do you need?"

"i need you." he answered, trembling due to his unreleased climax. "please... please let me come.

"how could i deny you when you sound so sweet?" you smile before lowering your head back down. "come for me my jealous boy."

you barely had put your mouth back on him when he released into your mouth. you held down his hips, hand slowly moving across his length as you carried him through his orgasm, swallowing him before moving back up his body.

"you okay?" you ask as you straddle his hips once again. his eyes open to meet yours, a soft smile appearing on his face as his arms wrap around your waist.

"that was... intense." you couldn't help but laugh at his words.

"don't forget that i know everything about you, rua." you tell him, pressing your lips to his. his hands squeeze your waist before traveling down, making you pull away when he tugs your dress over your hips. "do you want something?"

"i want you." he answers, tugging at the dress again. "take it off."

you sit up in his lap, hands finding the edge of the dress before slipping it over your head. his eyes widen when he sees that you weren't wearing a bra- his hands hesitating until you grab them, placing them on your chest. "don't be shy. you can touch me."

he sat up, lips finding your neck as his hands explore your breast. you tilt your head for him, a soft moan escaping when he squeezes your nipple between his fingers. "you sound so pretty."

his hands get more confident, one sliding down your body making you jerk as he cups your heat. "rua..."

"can i?"

once you nod, his fingers slip into your underwear, gasping when he felt how wet you were. his thumb started rubbing slow circles on your clit as his fingers teased your entrance, sliding one in easily from how wet you were.

"fuck, rua."

he slid a second finger inside of you, feeling your walls squeeze around him. he continued to move his fingers, watching you as you roll your hips in tune to him. he had to bit back his groans as your hips moved against his already hardening again length.

"i want you to come for me." harua mumbled attaching his lips to your neck. "please let me feel you."

you moan at his words, jerking when his thumb speeds up, rubbing your clit to bring you over the edge. "keep going, rua."

with one last flick of his fingers, you buried your head in his neck as you came to your high. he pulled his hand away after you recovered, barely able to say your name when your lips were on his, pushing him back down on the bed.

his hands found your thighs, squeezing as your hips rolled against his. "yn- please."

"please what?" you asked, rolling your hips down harder, making him groan. you could feel him already hard again beneath you. "you want my mouth again?"

"no." he answered, rocking his hips up and making you his when his tip brushes against your clit. "i want this."

you reach into your drawer and pull out a condom. "is this what you want?"

"god yes." you smile at his answer before pulling your ruined underwear fully off. you open the condom before rolling it on him, straddling his hips again after. "please, yn."

"patience, rua." you say as you position yourself above him before slowly easing down onto him.

harua gasped at the feeling of you, nails digging into your skin as you fully took him inside of you. your hands rested on his shoulders as you roll your hips, moaning at the way he fills you. "my god, rua. you feel so good."

"you're unreal." he groans, hips jerking up to meet yours. "so pretty. and mine."

you couldn't help but blush at his words, leaning down to kiss him. "yours, rua."

"i love it when you say my name like that." he admits, moaning when your walls tightening around him. "you drive me crazy, you know? have since freshman year when you made me take you to homecoming because paul didn't ask you."

your hips stutter in response. "you- you liked me for that long?"

"like?" he scoffed. "like went out the window long ago. what i feel for you is so much more than like. that's why i got so jealous."

your lips were on his as soon as the words left his mouth, arms tightening around his neck as your hips moved even faster against his. "i love you too, rua."

his hips jerk, and you could feel him twitch inside you as he buries his head in your neck, lips latching to your shoulder while his fingers found your clit. "please, yn. i need to feel you come around me. please-"

"rua-" your words were cut off with a moan as you came to your high without warning. your body convulses as you fall limp on top of him, walls tightening around him tightly enough to have him coming right after you.

you stay laying on top of harua while you both recover, not like you could move anywhere with how securely he held you to him. you felt his lips press to the side of your head softly. "i'm sorry i ignored you. i- i couldn't deal with you not feeling the same, so i tried to pull away."

"i guess i forgive you." you say as you pull away to look at him. "but only if you ask me to be your girlfriend."

you feel him laugh as he meets your gaze. "will you be my girlfriend?"

"i thought you'd never ask." you say before you kiss him, smiling when you feel him laugh into the kiss.

"you drive me crazy." he mumbles as you pull away making you shrug.

"maybe, but you love me anyway."

he groans quietly, pressing his face further into your hoodie. “it’s too early for talking.”

“you literally talked first.”

“that doesn’t count.”

you laugh softly under your breath.

he sounds so sleepy it’s almost unfair.

you turn slightly in his arms so you can look at him properly.

big mistake.

his hair is messy in every direction, eyes barely open, cheeks still soft with sleep, and somehow he still looks devastatingly pretty.

your heart immediately folds in on itself.

nicholas notices you staring after a second.

“…why are you looking at me like that?”

“like what?”

“like you’re having a full internal crisis.”

you let out a soft laugh. “maybe i am.”

“why?”

you smile a little into the pillow, cheeks warm. “because you look really cute right now.”

nicholas pauses for a second.

then, very quietly, he pulls the blanket up over part of his face like that somehow fixes the situation.

you stare at him.

“…are you hiding?”

“no.”

“you literally are.”

“it’s too early to be perceived.”

you laugh again, brighter this time, and he peeks at you over the blanket like he physically cannot help it.

there’s something so soft about him in the mornings.

less composed.

less careful.

just yours.

you try sitting up again.

before you can get very far, nicholas catches the sleeve of your hoodie lazily between his fingers.

“where are you going?” he mumbles.

“the bathroom.”

he frowns immediately, still half asleep. “again?”

you blink. “i haven’t gone yet.”

“oh.”

he thinks about that for a second.

then tightens his arm around your waist anyway.

“still. don’t go.”

you laugh softly. “you’re so clingy in the mornings.”

“only because you’re warm,” he murmurs against the pillow.

then, quieter:

“and because i like you a lot.”

his voice is lingering when he says it, like it slips out before he can think too hard about it.

and somehow that makes your heart feel even lighter.

because he says it like it’s nothing new.

like it’s always been true.

like it’s just part of the morning, the same way the sunlight is.

your face warms immediately.

nicholas notices, of course.

he always does.

a small, drowsy smile tugs at his lips. “there it is.”

“what?” you mumble, already trying to hide behind the pillow.

“you getting all shy again.”

“i’m not shy,” you insist, though your voice comes out softer than you mean it to.

you pull the blanket up a little more anyway, hiding your face.

nicholas lets out a quiet laugh and gently tugs it back down just enough to see you.

“don’t hide,” he says, still smiling. “i like seeing you like this.”

your chest melts a little at that.

actually, a lot.

you glance down after a second and realize—

“…wait. this is your hoodie.”

nicholas hums softly, still half asleep. “yeah.”

you blink slowly. “when did i steal this?”

“you didn’t steal it,” he says.

“then why am i wearing it?”

he takes a moment, eyes barely open, like he’s searching his sleep-fogged memory for the right explanation.

“because you said yours didn’t smell like me.”

you go completely still.

“…i said that out loud?”

“mhm.”

your voice drops immediately. “that’s so embarrassing.”

nicholas just smiles a little against the pillow. “i thought it was cute.”

you make a small noise of protest and hide your face in the pillow right away.

he laughs softly and reaches over, fingers brushing your hair back with slow, careful movements.

“you were half asleep,” he murmurs. “you also called me ‘home’ like it was a personality trait.”

“nicholas,” you whine quietly. “please stop remembering things.”

“and then,” he continues anyway, way too pleased with himself, “you took my hoodie and refused to give it back.”

you peek out slightly. “in my defense… it’s really comfortable.”

“i noticed.”

you sit up a little, still hiding half your face. “so this is what our relationship has come to?”

nicholas hums thoughtfully, eyes soft.

“apparently,” he says, “i just get robbed and complimented a lot.”

you finally crack a smile.

“and you’re okay with that?”

he reaches for your hand under the blanket, lacing your fingers.

“yeah,” he says simply. “i’m willing to suffer through it."

you peek up at him finally, and he’s already looking at you.

softly.

like he always does when you’re not paying attention.

your stomach flips a little.

“what?” you ask quieter this time.

nicholas shrugs slightly against the pillow.

“nothing,” he murmurs. “i just really like waking up next to you.”

your entire brain goes completely still.

he says things like that so gently too.

never dramatic.

never forced.

just honest enough to make your chest ache.

“you’re being suspiciously sweet right now.”

nicholas hums a little, still half-asleep. “maybe i just like you.”

you blink at him, caught off guard for a second.

then you smile anyway, like you can’t really help it.

“that’s not a fair answer,” you mumble softly.

he shifts closer under the blanket, “why not?”

“because now i don’t know what to say.”

that makes him smile—small and drifting, but so fond it’s impossible to miss.

his hand finds yours under the blanket again, fingers slipping into yours easily.

“you don’t have to say anything,” he says quietly. “just stay.”

your chest feels warm immediately.

“…i was going to,” you admit, voice softer now.

“good,” he murmurs. “then we agree.”

you glance at him, still smiling a little.

he’s looking at you like this is exactly where he’s supposed to be.

like he wouldn’t want anywhere else.

and somehow, that makes you relax even more into him.

“i never want mornings like this to end,” you say quietly.

his expression softens instantly.

he’s quiet for a moment, then breathes out a small laugh that isn’t really amused—more like he’s trying to believe you.

“why would it have to?” he asks gently.

He set his cup down on the glass table and crossed his legs. Sitting in a red velvet armchair, he looked like a therapist straight out of a movie. Was it a great first impression? you didn't exactly know either. 

On one hand, he looked trustful for sure. Maybe you've been watching way too many dramas with the same plot. A teenage girl has problems in school, then flashes to a few scenes with her therapist, who makes her realize that all she needs is love. And the girl is just like 'wait, yes' then just goes and dates the basketball captain. 

You wish it was easy like that. But you weren't in school anymore, and it was never really that easy for you. In highschool, quite literally you were the biggest loser in the world. Someone who even grimaced at the thought of someone loving her deeply, cause even the thought made you seem like it was a joke or something. 

Looking back, high school was the most horrible thing to happen to you. You had friends, but nobody was ever interested in you. And missing out on that well-known teenage romance was a hard pill to swallow, but you accepted your fate after a while.

Then, in your last year, it happened. The thing that you thought never would. Someone asked you out, and that someone was none other than Byun Eui-joo, one of the players of the local water polo team. Everybody knew him as EJ. 

He wasn't the most popular and known guy in the school, but he was for sure one of them big dogs. After all, he got a nickname, and not everybody was important enough to get a nickname. For example, you didn't get one. Never, from anybody.

So, after EJ asked you out, you obviously agreed right away. The first date was so awkward you would never go back to that again, but he was so giggly and cute that your heart nearly melted. Soon, you guys started dating.

But after five years, here you are in your freshly chosen therapist’s room, telling him all about EJ and how he's annoying you even more by every passing day. He's looking at you through his square glasses, and he would look intimidating if you would think deeper into it, but you are too carried away. Your words just flow out of your mouth like a waterfall, and someone finally listens. That's all you wanted, since your boyfriend is not capable of that. 

“That's interesting” The therapist looked down on his notes and flipped a page, looking like he would rather be anywhere than this room.

Your eyes nearly twitched “That's all? Interesting?” 

He looked up without lifting his head, eyes glancing up above his silver glasses. “Is this your first day here? In Hawaii”

You nodded your head “Yes. I just moved here, like two days ago, but we could call it my first day. I haven't had time to get out of my new house. There's too much unresolved stuff”

He hummed, and for a moment you swear you could feel his judgement. That can't be true, right? This is his job, he is supposed to listen.

“You are telling me that the first thing after you got out of your house was to go to a therapy session?”

You gulped. Well, if he worded it like that, it for sure seemed like fatal trouble. But you weren't desperate for answers. You just wanted good advice, or just anyone to listen to you. 

“I mean— I—” you stumbled over your words “I just can't take the arguments anymore. I need a solution”

He wrote something down, the silence in the room suffocating. The only sound being his pen as it chiseled into the paper was the most embarrassing thing you have experienced in a while. It made you think about what he could be writing. 

He turned his head to look outside on the big window that screeched from the room’s ceiling to the floor. The view was straight up amazing from the small room, the beach and the sea’s beautiful image seductively calling you to go down and dip into the water.

The whole session felt so odd. You were uncomfortable, and as the time kept passing and you kept glancing at the clock on the wall, you realized this is surely not how it was supposed to go. 

He wasn't even replying to you most of the times, he just scrabbled down stuff in his notebook like it was some fucking interview. 

You were about forty minutes into the session when you let out a sigh and let your back hit the backrest of the cushion. 

He glanced up from the notebook, eyes heavy on you. 

And before you could stop and think, the words slipped out of your mouth “Do you have a solution or any advice? Or should I walk out helpless?”

One more moment of silence. A big one. 

He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, since it began to slide down. Then, he lifted his chin up. “Yes, actually”

The words made your eyes widen slightly. You didn't think this session was going to end up anywhere. In fact, the past forty minutes seemed like you wasted it from your precious life. 

You sat up straight “And what is it?”

“Try a sport” 

You knitted your brows together in confusion. This was an answer you should’ve seen coming, just pure bullshit that doesn't make sense. 

As if he could read your mind, he began to explain. “I know what you think. But I’m not insane, I promise. We just have our things… different here. You said you came from Portland, right?”

You nod your head.

“You probably had a way more different life so far than you will living here. Look outside, it's so sunny, and happy, isn't it?”

You turn your head to the gigantic window you were just looking out on a few minutes ago. The beach life was still active, loads of people were in the water, or on the sand tanning. 

“Yes, it is” You agree.

“Have you ever tried any watersports?” He asks kindly, a subtle smile on his face now. Okay, that proves he may not be that bad after all. At least he doesn't look like a serial killer now. He should smile more.

You think it through, but you realize you don't have to think that much when you can barely even swim. “Not really” 

“Great!” He claps his hands together, pure excitement radiating from his expression “Now it's time, then.” He looks at the clock, then stands up to guide you out when he sees the one hour has passed.

“Sadly, our time is over” He says, and you stand up too to shake hands.

“Thank you, and I will take your advice” You say slightly bowing to show respect as you shake his hand. 

“It’ll help, trust me. I’m going to send you one of my friend’s social media pages, if that's okay. That man is an expert!” He even lets out a laugh, and you respond with a chuckle on your own too.

❥°  •  ° ・°   ┈┈┈┈┈‪༚༅༚˳ . ୨୧ . ˳༚༅༚┈┈┈┈  ° ・ °  •  °❥

Two days have passed since the therapy session with your new therapist, but you still haven't gotten that message. Honestly, you weren't even sure if he told you the truth or not. What if he just made that friend up in his own mind? He seems like the kind of person who would do that. 

You kept on wondering while standing in the kitchen, slicking up tomatoes for your and EJ’s lunch. It has been a while since you and him ate together, and you thought it might be a good idea to make his favorite dish for this special event. 

He wasn't home since he already found a job, though you moved in only a few days ago. When he stated that and you questioned him, he just said he already got the job when you lived in Portland. He just didn't tell you about it.

Typical EJ. Sometimes you catch yourself wondering: when did you ruin your relationship with him? But every time this crosses your mind, you shake the thoughts away.

Now there's a different thought that gets into your mind. Was it worth it to move to Hawaii? Will things work out with him? You wanted to believe that you moved here for fun, and to change the environment around you. But deep down, you knew the truth. Of course you did, because you and him talked about it. 

Because your old therapist told you on the couple therapy sessions every time. ‘Try a vacation. You don't have to move if it's not that bad… even a simple vacation could help’

Seems like it was that bad that you had to move. And that made your heart ache, every time you remembered his face, his emotionless face when he told you he thinks it could be the best if you move out of your hometown. You lived your whole life in Portland.

But EJ was the only boy who ever loved you, and you knew you can't lose him. Even if he doesn't feel anything. Even if you don-

The buzz of your phone on the countertop makes you get out of your head, the sudden sound scares you so bad that you accidentally cut your index finger with the sharp knife. 

You cuss, then look at the phone. 

+1 808 777 7777: Here's the guy I was talking about. 

LINK

Have a nice day!

You almost immediately drop the knife on the countertop to suck the flowing blood from your finger while with your left hand, you clumsily pick up the phone to open the message.

Opening the link your therapist sent you, even your breath stuck in your throat. You were expecting everything but this sight. 

A guy, probably around the same age as you, in his early twenties. His social media account didn't look like some millennial or a pr team made it. Instead, it was filled with pictures where he was with his friends, pictures of him, places he went to and stuff. Just like if he had a normal life. 

This wasn't shocking just as itself. The only thing that shocked you was that this therapist knew people like this. Cool people.

You scroll up back onto the top of the page to read his bio. There weren't many things written on it, only a few casual information like his age or what country he lives in. His email was also there, where you could contact him. What your eyes stopped on was the very top line.

Surf Instructor.

Your stomach twirled at the thought of standing on a surf board and riding waves. No. That was way too out of your comfort zone. Especially with this guy. He looked way too cool compared to you, he seemed someone that genuinely enjoyed living to the fullest. Someone who had zero insecurities or problems.

You just couldn't imagine yourself surfing with this man. Or even being by the beach with him, your body made yourself nearly throw up every time you glanced at it in the mirror. 

You stopped sucking on your finger for a moment, just to type back a message to your therapist quickly.

you: surfing? no

Short, but it says everything he needs to know. Maybe he might think you are being rude, but… who does he think he is, really? Yes, you are there to ask for advice but if he gives you something stupid like surfing, then he shouldn't be surprised at your reaction.

You don't even have time to put the phone down and continue chopping the tomatoes when it buzzes in your hand, a not so delightful message flashing on the screen.

+1 808 777 7777: Already booked an appointment for tomorrow 10 am. Be there, the guy’s schedule is way too tight. 

No way back now :) 

You scoff in anger, practically throwing the phone on the counter. It ends up in the tomatoes, but you don't even care about that. What the hell does this guy think? Just because he's a therapist he can't make decisions instead of you. 

❥°  •  ° ・°   ┈┈┈┈┈‪༚༅༚˳ . ୨୧ . ˳༚༅༚┈┈┈┈  ° ・ °  •  °❥

After many many internal fights with yourself, you decided that maybe, maybe he was right. This whole moving out is to test waters, which became… quite literal. Coming out of your comfort zone can be positive, right? You asked yourself this exact question and nothing else while you took the bus to the beach. 

Yesterday afternoon wasn't the most pleasant thing you've ever experienced. EJ came home pretty late, and the lunch you made became a dinner, but it also became cold and sticky. He didn't enjoy it, and he voiced it. 

You were about to cry yourself to sleep, because EJ probably had such a bad day at work. He just started at his new workplace, but it was already stressful for him and it was very obvious that he took the tension out on you with his constant remarks. 

Moving was a shit idea. Spending loads of money on a house in the beautiful Hawaii was a shittier idea. You should've stayed in the gloomy and crimeful Portland.

The sand got in your sandals, and it was pretty irritating having it stuck to your feet and having it between your toes, you couldn't care less about it. 

Your mind was already spiraling on lunch. You should be in the kitchen right now. It’s just a little bit past nine, but you should be already cooking. What if you don't have food on the table by the time EJ comes home?

Will he be mad? 

No, he will probably come home at night anyways. You have plenty of time today. A simple surf lesson won't hurt you or him. But if he finds out you found a therapist for yourself, now, that's a different story. That would mean the end of you. 

You looked over at the sea, the sun had just started coming up not so long ago, and its rays covered the top of the water, making it look like a golden bridge made out of veil. 

You get your phone out of your pocket and take a photo of it. Kind of a weird habit, but you always take pictures of everything you find pretty. Especially clouds. If it looks like something, your phone is already in your hand. 

You closed the camera app and the next thing you do is check the address your therapist sent you yesterday. You let your feet sink in the sand while you do it, your sandals fully covered in sand now. 

“Where the fuck…” You mutter when you type it in the maps application, but you waste no time and start walking again. His workplace was pretty far away from… everything.

You kept on walking anyways, and just a little bit before 10 am you approached the place you tapped in google maps. A house.

That's it. Nothing else. Far away from the other houses or the high skyscrapers. Just a small outcrop of sand that looked like a small island but still, it wasn't because it was connected to the beachside with sand and not water. 

The small island however looked like it was made for that house. A few palm trees were around it, and it was made out of mainly wood and bamboo. The roof was apparently made of reeds, but you weren't exactly sure. 

You attempted to walk closer, and as you approached, you realized this was probably where he actually lived. You could sneak a glance at the inside of the house since the windows were pretty big and there wasn't any glass or curtains that would cover up the sight, just a mosquito net, and it looked like a real home. 

“Hey!” A kind voice came from behind your back just as you were about to go closer to the bamboo house, and it made you immediately turn around.

Just like that, you were facing the boy you’ve seen in the photos. In real life size, he looked way cooler than in those photos. His hair was red, even though in some of the photos it was either bleached or black. It all suited him, but seeing it red in real life made you sure that it was absolutely the best choice to dye it.

Suddenly, you felt tight in your own skin. Too big in your clothes. Too small next to him, but that behavior screamed pick me. You never understood the girls in high school who always complained how ‘small’ they feel. But now, you got it.

You swallowed hard, trying to erase the weird tug in your stomach. Feeling anxious when meeting next people was normal for you, but it was never this bad. It might be because it's just you and him. 

He reached out his hand, gesturing you to shake it as an introduction. You did it, mumbling your name with a nearly trembling voice. 

“Nicholas Wang” He said it back, his voice way more firm than yours. “Nice to meet you”

“Yeah, nice to meet you too” You tried to smile too, but failed miserably.

“So,” He clapped his hands together and looked you up and down “welcome to my place. I guess I should show you around a little bit. You seem nervous”

Your body stills at the call-out, but you don't say anything. What happened? Where’s your voice? You are supposed to spend the next two hours with this man, who is, let's just say… nevermind.

You nod your head and follow him as he gestures the way with a head tilt. 

First, he takes you next to the house. There's a small garage or something like that. It’s like his house, but a smaller version. You didn't even see it at first. He opens up the door, and you are faced with a bunch of surfing boards. 

“This is where I keep my work stuff” He explains “You can choose which one you want” He smirks down at you, but you just glance at his face for a moment. 

When you finished looking around, he closed the door. “Are you nervous?” 

You swallow again, feeling like your legs are about to give up at any moment. So fucking embarrassing. “I- a little bit, maybe. I've never been to a… instructor, to be honest” you giggle, but it has no humor to it.

Instead of laughing, he nods like he agrees or something. “Oh, I get it. But you need to loosen up. I hope I can reach that” 

He smirks and gives a pat to your shoulder, and you smile back too, even though you feel the apples of your cheeks get red. 

You look at the bamboo house, the question not leaving your head. You even decide to voice it out “Do you live here?” 

He nods proudly “Yes, I built the house actually. I used to live here with my friends but they moved away eventually” 

❥°  •  ° ・°   ┈┈┈┈┈‪༚༅༚˳ . ୨୧ . ˳༚༅༚┈┈┈┈  ° ・ °  •  °❥

The waters were pretty calm today, and it was not too sunny. It definitely wasn't on the level where your whole body felt like burning after being in the sun for more than five minutes. 

After around one hour into the lesson, there were more things you could take important notes of. First of all, therapists are right, even when it seems like they don't know what they're doing. They do. Coming out of your comfort zone can be nice, actually, fantastic, you just need to find the right way to do so.

Second, Nicholas is a good talker. This might be because he is a professional surfing instructor, but he knows how to talk to people. You loosened up after forty minutes, and you definitely wasn't feeling as anxious as before. 

One thing for sure, he might look super ‘cool’ in photos, and he is in real life too. But that doesn't purposely mean that he will judge you in your swimming suit, even if you cried over it last night. He also doesn't care about how your hair sits on the top of your head. He is a surfing instructor, a teacher after all. You are not here to make friends.

“You already do so good, y/n!” He praises, watching you lay on the surfing board and swimming with your hands. “If you keep being so good, we might reach the point where you stand up next lesson” 

“Already? Isn't that too soon?” You ask, genuinely shocked. 

He shakes his head, his wet strands of hair flying around his head “Nope. I'm actually not joking, you are one of the best students I’ve gotten”

You tilt your head, swimming closer to where he was sitting on his board. “Do you say this to every single one of your students, or am I special?” 

He lets out a small giggle, dropping his head “No, I don't. You really are special. I guess” 

“Wow, I'm honored” You sit up on your board, now being about one metre far away from him. 

For a moment, he just stares at you. You look down, taking a deep breath. “I can't believe you live like this” 

He widens his eyes, the sentence probably catching him off guard. “What? Like how?”

“I don't know” You shrug “So…Calm. Your life is peaceful. You live right next to the sea, you have always been living here and I don't know. It makes me jealous.”

He laughs awkwardly again, hopping off of the board. The two hours had passed and it was time to get out of the water. You couldn't even believe the lesson was already over. 

“Jealous?” Is all he says. 

You gulp as you step out on the beach, sand sticking to your feet. You don't know what to say exactly. Nicholas seems like such an interesting person with an interesting life. While all you do is cook for your boyfriend who doesn't even come home, just sometimes. The worst thing is that you will probably marry that man. No, actually, the worst thing is that you are attached to him. You can't leave him, he has filled up your life ever since your teenage years. 

“Can I be honest?” 

He looks at you, rather concerned and scared than funny like how he looked the whole session. But he nods, and that's all you care about.

“I feel like I want to know everything about you and your life” 

❥°  •  ° ・°   ┈┈┈┈┈‪༚༅༚˳ . ୨୧ . ˳༚༅༚┈┈┈┈  ° ・ °  •  °❥

two weeks later

EJ comes home way sooner than he usually does, and that kind of catches you off guard. He texted you saying you don't have to prepare any lunch. That's another thing that catches you off guard. 

But that meant you had time. You used that time to go to a surfing lesson. In the past two weeks, you went almost every day if not every day. You weren't sure about the stuff that your therapist said about Nicholas having a ‘tight schedule’ cause somehow when you texted him ‘can i come now?’, he always replied with yes.

That's how it went today too. EJ texted you that he will come home at two pm. He sent the message at eight am.

You went to Nicholas straight away. 

You weren't exactly sure why you were enjoying this whole sport thingy so much. The surfing part didn't even excite you that much. It was probably the easiest sport of all the time, but Nicholas kept praising you about how good you were compared to others. And that made you feel special.

Nicholas was your teacher, but it felt like with all the meet ups every day that you guys have become friends by now. 

The best thing was that you and him could talk about anything. You were keeping it professional and you didn't talk about private life, but everything going on in the world, or just casual stuff. It felt refreshing.

And sometimes, lately, the time you were spending together wasn't purposely surfing lessons. Sometimes he just invited you inside his bamboo house, and you talked. Drank wine. Okay, that only happened once. But it still happened.

You went to him again like always, and you were sitting on his couch, next to each other. You talked the time away quickly. It passed so fast that you didn't even realize that it was already half past two. 

“I’m just saying! The red looks amazing” You say, twirling a strand of his red dyed hair with your index finger. It had already faded out and became somewhat pink, but it still looked good. “Or, hear me out. Pink. Make it pink” 

“Nah, I don't think that's a good idea” He shakes his head, keeping his eyes on you. “It wouldn't suit me”

“It would, what do you mean?” You say, completely protesting against him “Pink is literally the best color. Like, ever”

He chuckles “Fuck no. I still think my blonde era was the best. But pink… it would look good on you” He added, scanning your face with his eyes. 

You look down, dropping your hand from his hair to your own lap. Sometimes he complimented you, even if they were just small compliments like this, and it felt… well… you felt something. It felt good. But nothing more. 

“Thanks…” You mumbled under your breath. 

Nicholas laughed and dropped his hand on your knee. “Did I make you flustered? My bad” 

Your phone suddenly vibrates in your pocket, and it isn't a message. It keeps buzzing, meaning someone is calling you. And that someone can't be other than… fuck. 

You pull your phone out of your pocket with the speed of light, looking at the flashing name on the screen. 

“ej🩷”

Obviously. Who else. Your eyes fly to the time on the top of the screen: 14:34 

Fucking hell. You totally forgot about him coming home earlier for some fucked up reason. Nicholas looks at you with a worried expression, muttering a “What?” when you stand up and rush out of his house.

You mumble a sorry before stepping out and swiping up the green button, ready to get scolded. It happens as you expect.

“Where the hell are you?”

“I can be wherever I want to. It's none of your business, EJ”

“What? You are MY girlfriend and I told you to be home. I prepared you a fucking gift! Of course you had to ruin it”

You speed up with your steps, nearly stumbling as the sand keeps getting into your sandals. “I swear to fucking God, I’m not some home wife…”

“Well, I was about to make you one! And —” 

The rest of the sentence is a blur, you barely even let the words you heard sink in. Make you one? If that means… 

“Make me one?” You stop your steps.

“Yes, fucking hell. I was about to take you out on a fancy ass date so you don't have to fucking cook. And then, I wanted to ask you to be my wife” 

You press the red button and put the phone down. This can't be fucking real. For a few moments, you stand still, feet rooted in the sand, the only sound you hear is the sea and the thoughts in your head going wild.

You don't want to go back there. You want to stay here, because it is so calm. Not like him. He is so aggressive. Why would he want to marry you? 

It's probably not even his idea. He would never take you out on a date, those days are over. There are big chances that it was his passive aggressive mother who told him to do this whole thing. They've been wanting him to have a wife and children for so long. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, anxiety spiking up in your whole body as you continue to walk to the bus stop. You are not ready to have children, you can't have children. Not now. It's just not ideal. Especially not with EJ. You believe his whole family is cursed, and you definitely don't want to pass down those cursed energies to your children. 

The thought makes you want to throw up. The thing is that, if someone was about to ask you about your opinion on this about three weeks ago, maybe you would’ve said yes. 

But you forgot to mention something in the important notes thing. 

Nicholas was the perfect man. You knew this from the moment you looked at his pictures. He looked perfect. But when you met him, yes, you did feel anxious, but it wasn't just that. You haven't felt that feeling in a long time.

The last time you felt that was in highschool, when EJ asked you out. It was a long while ago. EJ wasn't able to make you feel like that since that. 

But every time you are with Nicholas… There's something. It feels like he made you less attached to EJ and his toxic family.

You know you can't think about this right now. You have to go home, maybe make EJ less furious with something, his favorite meal? Just get his mind off of the marriage. You would even have sex with him right now. If it takes his mind off of it, you would do it.

❥°  •  ° ・°   ┈┈┈┈┈‪༚༅༚˳ . ୨୧ . ˳༚༅༚┈┈┈┈  ° ・ °  •  °❥

Your hands are straight up trembling when you put the key into the door, opening it as silently as you possibly could. 

But as you step in and look forward, you find EJ looking at you while he stands in front of the kitchen island, leaning back on it with his arms crossed.

“Where the fuck were you, y/n?” He asks, voice low.

“Nowhere” You simply reply, suddenly feeling your ego spike up.

He pushes himself away from the counter and makes his way to you. “Fucking answer me”

“I answered”

EJ runs a frustrated hand through his hair, putting his hands on his hips. “I just… I really wanted this day to go well and you ruined it for me, babe.” 

“Really? Are you fucking kidding me right now, EJ? Do you know how many days you ruined for me? I've been standing in this kitchen for days to make you fucking lunch, and you don't even appreciate it. You never do.” It takes you so much courage, but you say your thoughts out. You were always the one who got silenced in this relationship, and you are feeling brave today anyways. “Suddenly, you want me to be your wife?”

He audibly gulps, his Adams apple moving down and up. “Yes. We have been together since high school, and...”

“It doesn't fucking matter. You ruin me, EJ. You…I…” You broke down, feeling the tears coming to your eyes. Fuck, no, you can't let yourself cry. Not in front of him. 

“I ruined you?” He raises his voice, now it sounds threatening “I saved your teenage years. Come on, Fuma told me you were always barking about how much you wanted a boyfriend. I thought i would ask you out, so you would fucking stop complaining to my friend all the fucking time”

Your heart drops. He never actually wanted you. It was all an act. It all sets into place now. He never actually wanted to ask you out, he did it so his friend (who was also your friend at the time) won't hear about your problems. 

You simply turn around, forcing yourself not to fall to the ground and cry. You simply turn around, so you don't shout at him and send him back to his mother's pussy. You simply turn around, and walk out. You run down on the stairs of the flat before he could chase you, but no, he would never do that. It's clear now. He wouldn't go after you. 

And he doesn't.

You know where you want to go right away. And you don't even question where your feet take you, right to the bus stop. You step on the floor of the bus numbered as 303. You still don't question. You feel like you finally know what you want.

However, you can't stop the tears falling from your eyes as you sit down next to the window. You don't even try to stop them, you know it would be impossible.

The bus is quiet, no one looks at you, everybody just stands or sits there boring their face onto their phone’s screen. You look outside, admiring the way the sun’s rays fall onto the water. 

It takes twenty minutes to get there. After that, comes the walk you hate so much. Half an hour. Finally, you approach the familiar bamboo house, kind of feeling exhausted from the walk. You and Nicholas for sure grew closer, but you can't help but feel a twist in your stomach. He is your surf instructor. He wasn't your friend, even if it seemed like he was. Or was he? You never talked about private things. Life things.

Despite the hesitant feeling in your feet, and the little voice in your head that told you to turn around and walk back, say yes to EJ and have children with him, you took a step.

Then you decided to not think anymore. Your life is fucked up anyways. In the next minute you found yourself knocking on the bamboo door. Nicholas opened it right away.

“y/n?” he asks, eyebrows going up in surprise. Usually, when you come to his house for a non appointment, you always text him first, but that doesn't happen now. 

“Sorry for bothering you” You try to sound normal, but you can't help the small shake that gets into your voice when you talk. “I just-” you lower your head, avoiding eye contact.

Nicholas steps closer, lifting up your chin to make you look at him “Hey, you are not bothering me” his voice softens.

You look up at him, feeling your eyes getting wetter by each second. His eyes are filled with genuine concern and softness, something that you’ve never seen on him before. He was always soft, but he kept it so professional that you could feel: there was a line that you couldn't cross with him. 

Now, that line seemed to blur, even if just a little. “Can I come in?” You insist shyly, and he immediately nods and stands out of the doorway so you could get in.

You go to his dark brown couch and lay down, practically throwing yourself onto the mattress and burring your head onto one of the soft pillows.

He stands by the kitchen, leaning his back against the counter and crossing his strong arms in front of his chest, making his forearm muscles flex.

Nicholas scans you with his eyes, looking at you laying on his couch and watching as you turn around from your stomach to your back, so you can see him since the kitchen and the cushion was placed across both sides of his house in front of each other. 

As you look at him, you notice that he has changed since you went back to EJ. When you were last here, he was wearing jeans and a black T-shirt, but now he's wearing grey sweatpants instead of jeans. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, keeping his voice firm but soft at the same time. 

You shrug and bite down your lower lip. Should you? Is it a good idea to talk about this to your teacher? You think it through quickly, but then you realize Nicholas is basically your only friend here in Hawaii. You really don't have anyone else now.

You bob your head.

“So what's up?” He asks casually, turning around so he can get a glass of water for you. “Who called you earlier and why are you all messy now?”

You run your hands through your hair at that, fixing it. “I don't even know how to tell you”

He hands you the glass of water and sits down next to you on the couch, turning his body sideways so he faces you while his arm rests on the back of the sofa. “Just tell me” He shrugs.

“Okay, so…” you began, looking down to gather your thoughts “I already told you why I moved here. Halfly.”

What you told him was less than half of your story. Yes, your father did die and it was a hard pill to swallow. You don't know why, but it was easier to tell him that rather than telling him about your boyfriend. The truth is that your dad died when you were thirteen. That was not recently.

“But there's another thing. My boyfriend, so, my boyfriend and I have problems lately.” That was another white lie. Not just lately, you have been having problems since forever. Now that you know he never actually liked you was even harder. 

He nods, like he understands. It makes your courage come back. “We went to a couple therapist, and he told us to move. He told us that if we move, the new environment would make our problems look smaller or something like that… Bullshit.”

A subtle smirk was playing on his face, but he didn't say anything. “We moved and long story short, he just told me he wants to marry me.”

A silent moment. 

“Oh” Nicholas’s body stills “And that's a problem because…?”

“Because we have been doing nothing, just arguing all the time, Nicholas! He doesn't even come home. But his mother is a passive aggressive bitch, and she probably wants him to have children so she can be a grandma”

“Damn, that's fucked up” He lets out a sigh, putting his hand on your knee to caress it as reassurance. 

Your gaze slips to his hand, and you are hesitant but decide to ask the question that sat on your tongue ever since you stepped in. “Can I sleep here?”

Nicholas doesn't even flinch, he nods right away. “Yes” after a silent beat, he adds “But…”

You sigh, already knowing what's going to come. He will deny you for some stupid reason, or will say that you have to go home at seven am.

Just like he could read your mind, or expression, he says “I’m sorry y/n. But I’m going to Los Angeles with my friends tomorrow. There's a surfing camp and a bunch of kids are waiting for us and-”

“I can go too” You say suddenly, making his eyes widen “I mean, If you want me to, I wasn't being disrespe-”

“Actually, yeah” He nods in agreement “Why not? You can come too”

❥°  •  ° ・°   ┈┈┈┈┈‪༚༅༚˳ . ୨୧ . ˳༚༅༚┈┈┈┈  ° ・ °  •  °❥

You thought the night by Nicholas is going to be somewhat awkward for multiple reasons. First and foremost, you still have a boyfriend! You keep reminding yourself that when you bore into his eyes too much, but fuck, his fault for being so damn good at having eyes. 

Then, you remember that he is still your teacher. Actually, this even slipped out of your mouth yesterday. You aren't sure what was the topic, but you added ‘who am I to expect an advice from you, you are just my teacher’

Now, that was something you weren't meant to say. But he just laughed it off and told you he actually is your friend now, not just a teacher. That made your heart drop to your stomach.

Nicholas is way too sweet with you, and you are not used to this. EJ was never this soft. You couldn't help but start comparing the two to each other last night, as you watched Nicholas drift to his dreams.

The next day you woke up to the smell of pancakes. You haven't eaten pancakes since you moved out from your mother, even though it was your favorite breakfast. 

You also came to the realization pretty quick that you didn't pack clothes. Nicholas offered to give you his, and you gladly accepted his offer. 

Now you were standing in the middle of Honolulu airport with packed bags, trying to figure out which one is your flight and where are Nicholas's friends.

You looked at the board on the top of the wall with a slightly tilted head. “Why are there so many take-off runways? I swear to god there are at least five different letters and ten numbers”

“Right? So unnecessary” Nicholas agreed. 

You set your gaze at your ticket again, checking what was the number and letter you were looking for. P7. The randomly chosen letters didn't help the situation, because tell me who the hell would choose P, B and Y as runway letters?

You were very close to crashing out to Nicholas about this when you heard a yell calling his name from afar. Nicholas and you both jolted your head towards the sound, and you spotted two people with luggages approaching you.

When they reached you, they both hugged Nicholas. You weren't exactly sure if these were the friends he talked about earlier, but they for sure looked like close friends.

Then, the one in the front turned towards you. He was shorter than Nicholas, around the same height as you, maybe a few centimeters taller. His hair was cherry red, just like Nicholas's. He looked like he was some kind of porcelain doll, suddenly you couldn't help but ask yourself how can someone be this beautiful.

He gave you a subtle smile and reached out his arms for a hug. “Hi, I’m Harua” he introduced himself when you both let go, and now you weren't scared to give him a smile too. 

“Hello, I’m y/n” 

“Nice to meet you, y/n” the guy behind Harua speaks, giving his hand out for you to shake it.

He looks way stronger than the other guy, and he is as tall as Nicholas. He wears a sleeveless top and his biceps are showing off pretty much. He has sunglasses on, but you could still see how his facial features were stronger than Harua's or Nicholas's, his jawline was way sharper. His hair was dyed cotton candy pink, which balanced his strong features. 

He shook your hand firmly “I’m Maki”

The next twenty minutes were spent looking for the flight, getting on the flight and casual inspections. Harua and Maki were seated next to each other, while you and Nicholas were sitting on the other side of the row. He let you sit next to the window, too. 

You were more than nervous before the takeoff. You sat on a plane before, but it was always such a stressful and overwhelming experience for you. You chew on your lips until it bled, tasting your bitter blood on your tongue. At least it distracted you a little bit.

“Are you okay?” Nicholas leaned closer and whispered as he squirmed in his seat, finding the right position to sit in.

“Yeah, just a little nervous” You mumble back, not looking at him.

A few moments later you feel a warm hand touching yours, fingers intertwining with yours. Your eyes widen and you look down at your hand, watching as Nicholas's much bigger palm covers it. The plane began to move, and you froze in your seat. Nicholas caresses the side of your hand slightly, his thumb brushing over the skin. 

After the plane was in the air, your body calmed down, but Nicholas didn't let go of your hand for the whole five hours while you got to Los Angeles. 

It was way hotter there than it was in Honolulu. You just walked down on the stairs of the plane, and you were already sweating everywhere. Suddenly, you felt jealous of Nicholas and his friends, because they decided they come in sleeveless tops unlike you. 

A short sleeve tight T-shirt will be embarrassing in a few minutes, and right now you don't even have deodorant with you. Great.

“Jeez” Maki scoffs, putting back his sunglasses on his face as you got down on the ground from the plane and got your bags. “So fucking hot”

“It's the ground radiating the hotness” Nicholas replies “It won't be this hot on the beach” he puts on sunglasses too.

He threw his leather jacket over his shoulder, and the four of you began to walk out of the airport. The camp is not so far away from the airport, and you decide that it would be the cheapest solution if you would walk there. Maki and Nicholas walk in the front to show the way, chatting about some surfing stuff while you and Harua walk behind them.

The first few minutes pass in silence, both of you being too scared to speak. Then, he suddenly turns his head to you. 

“Are you, like, his girlfriend?” Harua asks shyly, keeping his voice low so Nicholas and Maki don't hear him, even though they're deep into their own conversation.

You jolt your head towards him, breath hitching in your throat all of sudden. “What?” you chuckle awkwardly “No, why would I be? I'm just one of his students”

“Oh” Harua says, genuinely dumbfounded “He usually doesn't bring his students to trips like this” he shrugs his shoulders.

“Does he bring his girlfriends?”

“Not really” He says while opening up his handbag and pulling a chocolate bar out of it “We never meet his girlfriends. I wouldn't even call them his girlfriends, they're usually one night stands or situationships” 

This new information hit you like a sucker punch, right in the stomach. You never expected Nicholas to be a guy like that, but honestly it made your mind light up. It felt like… you got curious. You couldn't help but ask more.

“Seriously? He never introduced them to you guys? Then how do you know they existed? I mean the one night stands” 

Harua let out a sarcastic chuckle, followed with a huff “Come on, we are men at the end of the day” he looked at you, but seeing the confused expression on your face, he explained “He brags about them quite a lot. Nicholas is like that. You don't really know him, I assume. How long have you been his student?”

You gulp, trying to remember the date you moved to Hawaii. 

“For around… three weeks, I guess. But we have lessons every day”

“I see” He takes a bite from the chocolate bar then wipes his mouth with the back of his palm “Every day? That's kinda crazy” he side-eyes you “But congratulations, you are officially his longest…” he doesn't finish the sentence, just keeps walking and eating his chocolate bar “Nevermind” he brushes off.

The topic fades into nothingness, but it stays in your mind. You might be a little delusional for overthinking this, but for now you don't even know where to put the things Harua just said. 

Soon, the four of you approach the camp by the beach and you put your thoughts away for a little while. 

Maki looks back at you and Harua excitedly “Wow, it's a big one!”

“So many children too,” Nicholas adds, patting Maki’s chest.

They were the type of people who genuinely enjoyed their job, and that gave you a warm feeling. You don't see this often in today's environment. 

As you got closer to the gate, you came across a security guard. Nicholas did his part of the work and talked with the guard, while you, Maki and Harua started looking inside. 

“Come on guys” Nicholas gestured for you and the guard opened the gate, letting you in. 

The view of the camp amazed you, you didn't even know where to look. There were small wooden houses lined up along the shore, and gravel paths were built between the houses. It was so modern, especially for a camp. 

Suddenly, a woman came up to you, the biggest smile on her face. “Nicholas! Maki! Harua! Nice to meet you guys again. It was a pleasure last time too” She bowed slightly. Then, her eyes set on you. “Oh! I didn't know you have a plus one”

“Nicholas has a plus one” Maki corrected, but Nicholas hit his forearm playfully.

Her smile faltered for a moment, but it lightened up again when she realized. “It’s no problem! You guys are going to be in two bed houses anyways. At least Nicholas will have company” She winks at Maki, who chuckles slightly.

You feel your ears burn with embarrassment, and you are glad your hair covers it at this moment. You wouldn't want any of them staring or picking at you for this. 

The lady then turns on her heels and begins to walk quickly, the guys and you following her closely as she talks about the story of the camp and other probably not so interesting stuff like that. However, Nicholas seems to walk a little slower, matching your pace in the back.

“I'm sorry” He apologizes, though you don't know why “I forgot to tell her. I shouldn't have pushed you in an embarrassing situation” 

“It’s okay, really” You nod and give him a tight smile. If he was such a player as Harua described him, then why was he so soft with you? He apologized for the smallest things. 

You step into one of the wooden houses, where the woman says you should go in. It probably looks like the other ones. It’s almost a perfect square, with a small kitchen next to the door, two beds by the two walls on opposite sites and a small bedside table under the window in the middle, on the opposite wall from the door.

You throw your luggage on the bed and sit down next to it. Damn, it’s hard as fuck. Sleeping will be a problem, you are already sure about that. You glance out of the room through the window. Nicholas definitely wasn't right about it being less hot on the beach than in the airport. The sun beamed down by the sea, not a single cloud was in the sky. You assume it was good for the teachers though, a weather like this is better for teaching swimming and surfing than raining.

At a soft click of the door you turn your head, seeing Nicholas step in after he talked with the woman. He gives you a soft smile, walking closer awkwardly. 

“So, what's the plan?” You ask, breaking the silence.

Nicholas sits down on his bed across from yours, in the same line as you so you two face each other.

“Today we get to know the kids, just basic introduction and maybe a little bit of swimming” He begins, fidgeting with the sheet next to him “Tomorrow, we begin the hard work and practice surfing. But they'll have a break too. So nothing serious” He shrugs.

You nod, taking his words in. Two days at the camp is not a big thing after all, even though you would like to spend more time here. With Nicholas. 

You find yourself looking him up and down, eyes tracing the way he has his head leaned back towards the wall, and the way his Adams apple moves up and down as he gulps tightly. When you look back into his eyes, he’s looking at you.

You squirm in your place, feeling the tension in the room rise up as none of you say any words.

After a few silent moments, Nicholas breaks the silence, head still bumped back onto the wall “Can I ask you something?”

You nod, letting out a hum.

He licks his lips, unsure if he should ask it or not, but he decides it's the best to communicate. “Why didn't you tell me about your boyfriend earlier?”

The question was expected, but you don't have an exact answer. “I don't really know” You say, pulling your gaze off of him and dropping it to the ground “I guess I just didn't want you to know about him”

Nicholas hums, getting up from the bed. “Why?”

“Why are you asking questions like these?” You chuckle, kind of more out of embarrassment than from humor.

He looks back, his eyes dark but he doesn't say anything for a moment. “I'm just curious about why would he argue with someone like you”

He slips into his Adidas shoes then kneels down to tie the laces. 

“Someone like me?” you echo his words, confused.

“Yes” his voice is firm “Someone like you. I mean, you have everything in you a guy could dream of” He stands up and looks back once, but before you could say anything he opens the door and slips out of the house just like he was never there.

A soft click, and the door closes.

Your eyes are fixed on the floor, trying to take his words in. You feel the heat rising up into your cheeks, making them as red as a tomato.

You drink a glass of water before you go after him to the beach, where the kids are already split up in three different groups. One with Harua, one with Maki and one with Nicholas. One group consisted of about ten kids, and you only realized you didn't know what to do when you fully approached them.

The woman you spoke to earlier ran to you when she saw you standing there all alone and told you to sit down on one of the wooden chairs by the bar not so far away from the place Nicholas and his friends were teaching.

You followed her to the bar, and did as you were told so, watching the boys as they were explaining.

❥°  •  ° ・°   ┈┈┈┈┈‪༚༅༚˳ . ୨୧ . ˳༚༅༚┈┈┈┈  ° ・ °  •  °❥

The day passed by pretty fast, but it wasn't a huge surprise since you arrived at the camp quite late in the morning and they could only do the surfing lesson until the sun went down. After that, the wind’s strength rose up and the waves were too big for beginner surfers — kids — to ride.

However, the three guys were watching those waves with awe, feeling disappointed that they couldn't get in the water and ride them.

“Fucking hell, they're so big now” Maki commented, looking out the window like he was a footballer looking at the world cup.

Harua sipped from his beer and made a satisfied sound. “You better stop looking at them, I stopped too because it straight up hurts” 

Maki nods “You are right” he put one of his hands on his chest dramatically, like he was grasping onto his pearls “It hurts” he sniffs jokingly, then turns around from the window and sits down on the floor in front of Nicholas's bed, across from you and Harua who were sitting next to each other in front of your bed.

“When is he coming…” Harua muttered, looking at the door and expecting Nicholas to burst into the room with fresh cans of beer and a card game at any given moment.

“I don't know but now I'm getting bored that I can't watch the waves” Maki picks up Harua's glass and takes a sip from the only glass of remaining beer. 

“Hey!” Harua snitches from him right away, getting on all fours so he can reach the glass.

Maki just laughs, then makes eye contact with you “y/n, suggest a topic or something. I bet you have a lot on your mind”

You raise your brows “A lot in my mind? What do you mean exactly?”

Maki gives a knowing look to Harua, then chuckles playfully, a boyish smile plastered on his lips “Come on, you know what I mean”

He tsks when you don't answer just give him a confused look. 

“You and Nicholas” He explains, and your eyes drop to the ground. “See! that's what I'm talking about” He points it out. “You become all awkward when it comes to him”

You were never an extroverted person, and you felt like you acted awkward with everyone all the time, that's why you didn't have many people to understand you, but this time Maki could read you perfectly. Was he some psychiatrist in his last life?

“Are you guys dating?” He asks again, desperate for answers.

“No, we are not” You shake your head, looking up at him.

“...But you wish” Maki smiles mischievously, and you kick him playfully.

You open your mouth to say something, but the door opens and Nicholas steps in with a bag in one hand and a small pack of cards in his other one.

“That lady was selfish as fuck” Nicholas says, out of breath “She didn't want to give me all the beers”

“Nicholas!” Maki says, nearly yells, like he's celebrating his friend “We were just talking about you”

Nicholas's eyes shift to you for a moment, then back onto Maki’s “Really?”

“Yeah” Maki nodded, sliding a little bit sideways so Nicholas could sit down next to him on the floor. 

Nicholas looks at you again, but his expression is unreadable to you. He's still just as mysterious to you as he was before. His friends have been talking about him, but you still can't see him as the person they portrayed him as.

He brought the card game UNO, which was one of your childhood games. You were glad that you didn't have to go through the painful journey of explaining the rules to you or anyone else, cause that would've taken forever, given that you never understood the rules at first.

Harua opens up a can of beer for everyone while Nicholas shuffles the cards in his hands. 

“Did you guys say beautiful things about me while I was away?” He asks while giving the cards to everyone.

“Yes, of course.” Maki takes a sip, this time from his own beer “I could only say good things about you, Nicho” 

Nicholas chuckles sarcastically “Right”

Maki lets out a hum “By the way” He kisses his teeth, setting his can down “I was just about to get on with talking about your sex life when you stepped in, man.”

The suddenly blurted out words makes your jaw almost drop, you start coughing on the beer. Harua immediately reaches to your back, patting it. 

“Why would you do that?” Nicholas asks him when you were done coughing and they made sure you were okay and not dying. 

Maki tilts his head “You would do it too if it was me”

It felt like listening to a private conversation, you could tell that Maki and Nicholas were way closer than they were with Harua, because he hasn't said any words in the past half an hour in this conversation. Just like you. 

“No, I absolutely wouldn't. Because I’m a good friend” Nicholas smirks at the boy beside him.

“Okay, well” Maki shrugs, pulling the glass to his lips “We all know you want to get y/n laid, I just wanted to prepare her. With words, obviously” 

You are glad there wasn’t any beer in your mouth, because right now you would surely be coughing and choking from it. Nicholas stops looking at his cards and glances at you, getting embarrassed at Maki’s words. 

For a moment, a very small moment, his whole body stills and his shoulders tense. But after, he drops them like nothing happened and ends up chuckling. “Y/n knows nothing about my sex life” he says casually.

Maki’s eyes drift to you, a mischievous glint in them “She would like to find out things about it though” 

“That's true” Harua joins the conversation in the worst way possible, taking a sip from his own beer. “She was asking stuff from me before”

You bury your face in your palms, absolutely speechless by their sudden bluntness. You are not sure if they're like this all the time or is it just the beer.

“Uno” Nicholas says firmly, throwing a red two at the top of the deck. 

“The way you talk about me is really concerning” you comment, looking at your cards. Fuck, you only have blue. You take up one.

“It's not our fault you are being obvious” Harua answers, putting down one of his five cards in his hands. “But this goes to Nicholas too. Seriously, you thought we would let the fact slide that you never introduced any girl to us?”

Nicholas smiles and bites down his lip, dropping his last card after Maki takes up one from the deck “I won” he ignores what Harua said, and stretches his arms above his head.

Harua rolls his eyes and stands up, beer can in his hands. “It's getting late. There will be a bunch of screaming children around me tomorrow, so I should use my time out and sleep.” he states “Maki, you are coming too” He demands, and Maki stands up and follows him out right away.

They leave the house, and suddenly it becomes all silent when the lock clicks. You and Nicholas stay on the floor across from each other, only about one metre between you. 

He looks at you with a straight face, his eyes dark again, just like they were when he said that thing about you being every guy's dream. 

“How many girlfriends have you had before?” You ask him, kind of all of a sudden. 

The question doesn't make him flinch, he doesn't take his eyes off of you either “I don't know. I only remember one”

“You don't know?”

“I had girls but they weren't really my girlfriends” 

You knew exactly what he meant by this, the things Harua told you at the airport flashes into your mind.

“What's your boyfriend's name?” He asks back.

You swallow hard. “EJ”

The thought of him makes you overly uncomfortable, especially now, in this… moment with Nicholas. Even the way he looks at you, he looks so possessive you could bear the sight of this every day. You squirm in your place, your jeans getting uncomfortable.

Nicholas's eyes trace down your neck to your chest, then back onto your face. He gulps, then says “EJ… What a disgusting name”

You couldn't help but chuckle at that, and he cracks a smile too. “Do you want to… tell me more about him?” He asks, suddenly getting shy.

You bob your head anyways. You weren't that vulnerable, but with Nicholas it was so easy. Too easy. You could tell him everything, and this went vice versa.

“What do you want to know?” You ask, fidgeting with the edge of your shirt.

He looks up at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. Then, when he gets the idea, he smirks at you “Do you guys do it?”

You knit your eyebrows. “What?”

He shifts, leaning a bit closer to you so he can whisper. “You know… You said he wants children and stuff”

You shrug, trying to keep your demeanor nonchalant “I— well—” you swallow.

He sees you fidgeting with your shirt out of anxiety, and he grabs your wrist to make you stop. Both yours and his eyes fall to the place where the skin gets in contact, and you look up into each other's eyes at the same time too. He was still leaning close to you, and it seems like he even shifted closer cause now your knees were also touching as you sat on the floor with crossed legs.

You gulp hard as he caresses your palm with his fingers “Stop that” he commands, and you nod.

After a few moments, you finally swallow the lump in your throat and find your voice again. “We do a couple of stuff…but…” you shrug, but he isn't satisfied with the answer.

He looks at you expectedly, something soft lingering in his gaze. “But?” he whispers. He puts his palm on your knee and presses down, tilting his head.

You hold eye contact, swallowing again. “He never liked me enough to do that” 

His eyes drop down to your knees, shifting closer. Then, he gets on fours so he can get even closer to you slowly, pressing a gentle kiss on your jaw. “Does he do that?” he whispers close to your ear, and you feel a shiver going down on your spine at the vibration of his voice.

You shake your head “Usually not”

Nicholas gets closer, this time licking your earlobe slightly. He was shy with it, the lick was so gentle you could almost not feel it. “Does he do this?” he asks after, and you shake your head again.

He moves down slowly, and you couldn't help but let him do whatever he wants to. You were so shocked by this that you didn't even take in what was even happening, not fully yet. 

He hovers over your neck for a while, still being on all fours. He clearly hesitates, but then he decides to do it and he presses his wet lips to your thyroid bulge, sucking on it ever so slightly. You tilt your head back and it hits the edge of the bed, letting your mouth hang open as he works his mouth on your neck, wandering sideways and up and down too.

He backs up after a few wet kisses, just so he can look up into your eyes and say breathlessly “Does he do this, y/n?” 

You shake your head and let your hands get into his strawberry hair, pushing him back and urging him to continue what he did before, chasing the feeling of his lips on your neck.

And he does just as you wish him to, putting one of his hands on the back of your neck so he can hold you while he kisses and licks all over your neck. He sucks on a spot, and you just hope it won't give you a mark.

Then he moves even lower, his lips finding the exposed skin above your t-shirt, aka your collar bone. He licks on it too, you feel like you are entering heaven. When he stops, he lets go of your neck and sits up. “Does he do that?” He asks, this time his voice becomes a little hoarse as he speaks.

You shake your head slowly. You can't stop staring into his eyes. He looks like a cat, but only just a tiny bit. You swallow, finding it hard to speak. Also, you are sure your whole face is red at this point.

“Nicho” you whisper, or whine when you feel his hands on your hips, ready to get you out of your t-shirt. 

He stops immediately and looks at you.

You shake your head steadily, a kind of disappointment in your eyes when you remember Harua's words from the airport earlier, and also Nicholas's, which confirmed the theories. “I don't want to be one of your girls” you say, voice cracking by the time you finish the sentence. “I'm not like that”

He drops his gaze, jaw clenching in frustration. You could see the way thoughts clouded his mind all of a sudden. “Y/n… you wouldn't be just one of my girls” he says, his voice being soft again.

You feel your stomach drop at that, but looking into his eyes you could see that he was telling you the truth. He was being honest and vulnerable, and you found yourself bobbing your head and insisting him to continue. 

Nicholas takes off your shirt in no time, and his eyes drop to your chest immediately. His eyes were filled with hunger, and he shifts and gets on his knees so he can undo your bra too. While he reaches behind your back, you run your eyes through his shoulders and neck, and you sniff him slightly. Nicholas always smells so good, you already noticed that on the first week when you went to his house for surfing lessons. He always wears the same cologne, seems like he knows what he likes and sticks with it.

When he drops your bra to the floor, he backs up again, looking at your freed titties with admiration in his eyes. Then without a warning he lowers his head and sucks on your right nipple. You arch your back at the sudden friction, letting out a breathy moan. His lips wrap around your hard nipple, sucking your titty in as much as he can while he cups the other one softly with his other hand. He massages it, but he's subtle with it. His mouth may be a little aggressive and hungry, but he's a whole other person with his hands. Nicholas for sure knows how to please a woman. “Fuck, y/n, you have the most perfect tits I ever seen” he mumbles, and you feel the vibration in his voice in your whole body.

You close your eyes, sinking in the amazing feeling. Your tit is now fully covered in his hot saliva. When he looks up, his mouth is plump and wet, and it makes your thighs clench together in desperation. 

His eyes are hazy when he asks, “Does…does he do this?” 

“No” you moan out when his other hand cups your other breast too, massaging both at the same time.

You straighten your legs, so now he's kneeling between them. 

“Open your eyes” he commands with a firm voice when he sees your head being thrown back onto the edge of the bed, getting lost in the feeling of his big palms on your tits. You obey him again, opening your eyes just to face him possessively looking down at you.

He lets go of your breasts, and you want to cry out at the loss of his hands. At the same time, you are glad you have time to catch your breath. Not too much though, because he shifts back so he can lower his head to kiss on your stomach, just right under your chest. 

You let out a moan, hands finding his hair again. He licks the spot he kissed, then starts to make a path of saliva with his tongue, going down back to the edge of your sweatpants.

“Babe” he whispers, and you are very near to losing your mind. You look down at him, finding him looking up at you while his mouth hovers above your pants. “Can you lay on the bed, pretty please?” 

He doesn't have to say it twice. You stand up while he stays kneeling on the same spot. Nicholas watches you lay on the bed, head now thrown back against the wall. You spread your legs slightly, teasing him.

He looks even more mesmerizing in the dim light, now that the sun almost fully went down and the only light was a reading light of a standing lamp next to his bed. Clouds were filling the sky, dark clouds. You could hear a few droplets of rain knock on the roof, and there wasn't much light coming in from outside, only the sound of rain and wind.

He smirks at you and puts his elbows next to your body to cage your lower half while he licks on your stomach again, earning a satisfied whimper from you. Nicholas hooks his fingers onto your pants and pulls it down, hinting small kisses at the edge of your lacy panties now. 

You feel your wetness between your thighs, and you are sure he also noticed it. He goes lower, and you watch as he presses his lips to the wet patch forming on your panties. You shift your body lower, pushing yourself to his face more and more. His tongue works fast, and you already see stars even though he only started just now, though a fabric. 

That part kind of feels ridiculous. 

He moves back, breathing heavily as his eyes never leave your core. He pulls down your panties with one move, revealing your aching core. “Please” you mutter, your voice barely even audible but he still hears it and smirks.

He eyes your wet pussy, your juices already dripping down on your folds. “All wet for me, hm?” Nicholas hums, satisfied with the view. 

He hovers closer, his nose bumping onto your clit teasingly. “Have you ever been this wet for him, jagiya?”

“Never” You breathe out, trying to restrain yourself from moaning, but your chest rising then falling heavily betrays you.

Nicholas finally gives your aching core a lick, looking up to see your reaction. Your head flies back, eyes closing in pleasure. A guttural moan leaves your mouth as his hot tongue darts out again, slowly licking you from your hole to your clit. When you look down, you are faced with those pretty eyes that you have been admiring ever since you first saw them.

You never thought you would see them in a kind of situation like this ever, but the fantasy was always hiding in the back of your mind. Now that it finally happened, you could admit that they were an even better sight than you imagined.

“Fuck, Nicholas” you mumble as he gives you another lick, now getting deeper. His nose bumps onto your clit with every lick, but his eyes never leave yours. “Your eyes… they're so pretty”

He sucks on your clit, and your thighs are beginning to tremble. You try to close them, caging his head between your legs, but he stops them and sets them down on the bed with a firm movement, nails digging into your skin.

Nicholas sucks on your folds, and you can't do anything else other than letting the sounds escape you, and letting your hands run through his strawberry hair. You grind on his face when he shoves his tongue inside of you. He stops the movements with his head as you start grinding, riding his tongue in a steady rhythm. 

You already could feel your orgasm getting closer, Nicholas being able to take you to your climax with only his tongue kinda surprising you. But before that could happen, he pulls out of you with his tongue and smiles at you with that teethy smirk he always does. You whimper at the loss, prompting yourself on your forearms so you could see him better.

“You thought I’m going to make you come with my tongue, and that's all?” He asks, one eyebrow going up. 

You gulp, feeling your stomach knotting. 

“If that's the case, you were wrong” he laughs, looking up and down your naked body. “I'm taking my time. If the thing you said is true, you were never really pleased” he grabs your hips, pulling you down from the bed onto his lap. “You deserve to know how good it feels like” you put your hands on his shoulders, and he looks up at you.

All this time, this was the first moment you truly felt conscious about how exposed you were, while he had all of his clothes on still. “What do you mean?” you ask, voice low. 

“You know what I mean” he teases, vaguely rolling his hips — still in his sweatpants — upwards, so you could feel his hard bulge with your bare pussy. 

He looks down at your chest, looking at your breasts like they're the best things he has ever seen in his life. “Jagiya, I always wanted to do this. Since the moment I saw you” he admits, pinching your nipple with two of his fingers, making you hiss. 

He bites down his lips, grinding up again. “Fuck” he cusses before he gestures you to get off of him. You do as quickly as possible, and he takes off his shirt. Your eyes fall on his toned chest, it's not like you haven't seen it before during lessons, but seeing it like this was way different. You would admire it, but then he takes off his sweatpants with his boxers too. 

You gulp again, your throat getting dry at the sight all of a sudden. He isn't that big, I would rather say average. 

But still, this is like your… second time with a man, and you haven't seen cock in a long time, which was kinda embarrassing. Nicholas didn't look bothered in any way, though.

He looks at you and gives his cock a few strokes before asking “Missionary or cowgirl?”

Your eyebrows shoot up at the sudden question. “What?”

“Whatever, just come here” he urges, pulling you back onto his lap by your hips. 

When he sees the hesitation on your face, he lets go of you “Is everything okay? We don't have to do it if you are not ready” 

You melt internally at his sweetness, the constant checks up making you shy. But you would never miss out on this opportunity. Ever. “I'm okay I just… I haven't done it in a long time” you let out an awkward giggle at the confession, but he still doesn't back up.

“It's okay” he says, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear “I will be gentle”

You nod, feeling way better now. You bite down your lower lip when you sink down on his cock, grabbing onto his shoulders with both of your hands. He lays against his bed on the floor, this time he is the one who throws his head back. 

He clearly tries with all of his strength to not move and fuck into you, and you pretty much appreciate that. You try to get adjusted to his length when you fully sink down, taking deep breaths.

“Are you… are you alright?” he asks, voice shaky. 

You bob your head heavily, letting out a whine “Shit, yes, yes I am”

When he sees you calming down a little bit, he begins to move, grabbing onto your hips while he vaguely grinds up, rolling his hips into you.

You let out a small moan, burying your head onto the crook of his neck, your bodies melting onto each other. 

Your chest is pressed against his, nipples still rock hard. He sets a steady rhythm. Sometimes he gets out of his tempo and fucks just a little too hard, but then reminds himself that he has to be soft with you. And he keeps his promise, he is gentle. 

“Fuck, you are so tight” he grumbles out, collapsing onto you as his rhythm gets fucked up again. He fucks deep into you, feeling every inch of your wet pussy around him. He hits your spot with every move too, giving you a feeling you never felt before.

You can't even say anything, your mouth just hangs open while messy moans leave it. You throw your head back, and when you clench around him, he whimpers. 

He lets out small cries amongst his high pitched moans, and you grab him by his hair to tilt his head back and look into his eyes. “Are you crying?” you ask.

He doesn't answer, just frowns with his lips as he lets out a muffled moan again, looking away from you. But you tilt his head back again, grabbing him by his neck and keeping him like that so he can look at you. He speeds up a little bit, but still keeping it gentle while he is feeling you up, you being on his lap, bouncing on him so perfectly. “Does EJ do this? Hm?” he breathes, and you answer with a loud moan as you shake your head.

You look into each other's eyes as you hold him down by his thigh to gesture to him to stop. He stops immediately, breathing heavily. You run your hands on his chest, then on his worked out abs. You lift yourself then drop down on his cock again, making him cuss and grunt. 

“Do that again, jagiya, please” he begs, and you redo your movements from before. You speed up after a few messy ups and downs, earning him to moan out your name multiple times as you ride him.

When he gets used to the rhythm of you using his cock, he kisses your collarbone again, then moves to your neck to suck on it and leave marks all over it. You don't deny it.

“Fuck, I’m close” he mumbles and whimpers again, looking up at you, then down on your chest, seeing the way your tits bounce every time you lift yourself then sink down again. He was enjoying being used like this, he bites down his bottom lip hungrily. He grabs you by your hips and sets you down on the floor suddenly, trapping you by putting both of his hands next to your head while he's still inside of you. 

He rolls his hips, his balls tapping against your wetness every time he bottoms out. “I would never hurt you, y/n” he admits vulnerably, his breath caressing your neck. Your body moves up and down on the floor, feeling the roughness of the rug on your back. It's going to burn later. 

“If you stay with me” he continues “I will never treat you like that— fuck—” he cusses, moving his hands to your hips and digging his nails into your skin as he lifts you up a little bit so he can get deeper in, a better position for both of you.

“Can I…can I come inside you, pretty baby?” he asks you suddenly.

You nod your head, looking up at him with a hazy gaze, observing the way one strand of his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. He looks down at you when he reaches his climax, giving you a deep and slow last thrust that makes you arch your back. He crumbles onto you, head burying onto the crook of your neck. 

You feel his delicate cum filling you up, covering your walls. The thought makes you come too, your juices mixing together. 

You stay like that laying down a little more, your bodies hugging. Then, after a few minutes of gathering yourself together, he pulls out of you and sits down back against his bed. You get up too, legs trembling when you drop down next to him on the floor, head against the edge of his bed while you both face the ceiling.

Nicholas looks at you with hazy eyes, like his mind is filled with multiple different thoughts at the same time and he can't decide which one to voice out first. 

You reach out your hand, wiping a tear from his cheek. 

He cringes and drops his gaze to the floor, feeling embarrassed by begging and crying to you. 

“What are you thinking about?” you ask, tilting your head.

He looks up at you again, swallowing hard before he milks the words out of himself. “Do you still want to be with him?” he asks, and your eyebrows shot up “I mean, after this”

For a moment, your mind wanders. Did he do all of this to impress you? Because as much as you have a whole damn boyfriend, it might have worked. Then, you remember that your boyfriend is actually a dickhead and you would leave him anytime.

“I don't want to be with him at all,” you reply, shaking your head.

Nicholas straightens his back and looks at you with sparking eyes and a huge smile on his face. “Great. Tell him that you guys are done, and I’ll eat you out again”

You laugh at his suggestion, but deep down you know you would and will do it “Woah, all of a sudden?”

He knits his eyebrows together, like he was confused by your answer. “Yeah? Why not?”

“Over call?”

“No, over text. He was always a dickhead, wasn't he? He deserves it” Nicholas says and reaches up, caressing your face softly. “Right now” he adds.

You roll your eyes playfully before getting up to walk over to your bag and get your phone out. His eyes never leave your curvy body as you stand up, admiring you the whole time.

You quickly type the text onto the chats between you and EJ, but you don't send it yet. Nicholas sees you hesitating, and he pulls you by your ankle, gesturing to get back down on the floor.

He watches your screen when you sit down back to him closely. 

“I don't know what to write,” you sigh.

He shrugs, just wanting this to be over as soon as possible “I feel like you should tell him everything. Tell him that he's an asshole and that you don't want to be with him anymore. Oh, and that you love me” 

He smirks, and you shove him away by his shoulder playfully, but you still type in what he said. Most of the things. 

After a while, you form your text and send it to EJ, but then Nicholas offers to put the phone down. So you two end up talking about whatever, mostly your upcoming plans for the next few days. 

You two decide that it's for the best if you don't tell Maki and Harua right away, and maybe you should try living together for a while. EJ won't leave the house you two bought in Hawaii, and you don't have anywhere else to go. Plus, you have been spending almost all of your days by Nicholas's house, so it's not going to make a difference. 

Now he went to take a shower, and you are sitting by the window sill (dressed up now), watching the rain falling down into the dark night. 

You wonder about a lot of things, firstly about the upcoming days. You never thought Hawaii could bring you so many new opportunities for new starts, in so many ways. You are also not sure if your therapist will like to hear about this whole thing, but that's his problem.

There's one thing that you are sure about: you are happier than ever. You like Nicholas, and just because at first it looked like it was something forbidden, it doesn't mean it can't be fun at the end.

💌 : @trust-me-youll-like-it @cheolscherries1812