dan wants to control the narrative or at least feel like he has control, meanwhile phil is driving this bus and he's daring you to jerk that wheel because bb he'll crash this motherfucker before he lets you know what's going on

Am screaming bc Dan recently did an interview where he admits that Phil will read over drafts for him and heavily critique them: “this is self-indulgent, you’re rambling for ten minutes about something only you care about, this joke will get you canceled” (actual critiques Dan cited). According to Dan, Phil will cut like 90% of his stuff and then they’ll argue and then he’ll stick with the remaining 10%. Like, to be a fly on that wall…I’m so proud of Phil for sparing us…

Dan: making money is my husband's job I'm just here to be pretty.

nora said it all

Dan is man coded (doesn’t know how to do laundry)

can't get over dan asking for a glass of oat milk and being pissed at phil and phil fully ignoring him

My new headcanon is that when Phil ignores Dan anytime he needs attention he tweets horny shit as revenge (Too bad that Phil still won’t give a fuck)

Yeah I don’t think he wants to get rid of his fans either because if he’s still somehow relevant is because of phannies having a toxic relationship with him and he knows he needs them so he can sell them stuff. He’s doing what he used to with self deprecation: make jokes after jokes on the topic until he finds something else to base his entire personality on

once again i am asking for a gay man, anyone, to publicly flirt with dan so we can see how he would react, i wanna study him