ECLIPSE WEEK DAY 7: free day

[Day 7 : Free day]

[ @solar-eclipse-week ]

[Tw?? : visible eye damage]

ECLIPSE WEEK DAY 6: forged/broken promises

eclipse week day 6: forged promises

[Day 6 : (forged) Promise]

[ @solar-eclipse-week ]

Wyvtpzl?

solar eclipse week day 2

solar eclipse week day 3

solar eclipse week day 4

solar eclipse day 5

ECLIPSE WEEK DAY 5: forced apology

Heart was incredibly distraught today. He was being bombarded by things he didn't want to remember. Ever since breaking the vase, he couldn't stop thinking about all of his horrible violent outbursts, all the times he'd hurt Mind one way or another, all the times he'd lied. God, he'd lied so much. 

I'm sorry, he remembered saying. It had been some stormy night and he'd left Mind's windows open earlier in the day, resulting in soaked bedding and a ruined book. Heart hadn't had a great day, and neither had Mind, with Cacophony blurring the very edges of their visions. Mind had yelled and cried and pulled at his hair, and Heart had stood and rolled his eyes and tapped his impatient foot until Mind shut up so he could utter the more sarcastic, insincere I'm sooo sorry that he hated now. That argument had been close to that day. It was not even seventy hours later that they were so cruelly separated and… 

Heart sobbed into his hands. He missed Mind awfully today. He wished Mind was alive and here with him. He wished they could take care of each other and hold each other like they used to, watch movies like they used to, talk softly and cook and bake and lay and do all the other things like they used to. He couldn't bear the fact that he hadn't been doing his best for Mind in their last moments. 

He thought he was speaking, but he couldn't hear himself. He thought he was wailing, but the only audible thing was the ringing that had started right after the vase. 

He was sorry now. He was so sorry that he hadn't been the person Mind deserved, that he hadn't been what he swore he'd be. He was sorry for every little thing. For using the last of the milk and not saying something, for hogging the couch, for hurting plants when he'd collapsed in the garden, for… for everything. 

If he saw Mind tomorrow, would he be granted forgiveness? 

It was a silly thought, but maybe if he thought hard enough, he could manifest Mind back into existence. If he imagined really hard, Mind could appear beside him, or behind him, or in front of him, and they could hug and kiss like they'd always done. Oh, Heart couldn't take it, he needed to have Mind back some way or another. He needed to get out of the miserable place he was in now and find a way to feel close to Mind again somehow. Visit his grave, or something, he had to! He had to! Nothing else would do today! Heart sniffled and wiped his eyes aggressively. 

Clumsily, he shoved some clothes and some loose bills into a bag and stumbled out of the house. Mind's grave wasn't far. Just a couple of minutes if he didn't trip over his feet every couple seconds. The building he wanted to visit, however, was quite far, several days of walking and guessing where he was going. But that was in the future, and this was now, and he was knelt in front of Mind's headstone. He ran his hand over the engraving. The Mind Electric, 2001—2027, loved immensely and missed dearly. It had taken everything he had to pay for this. There were some days he regretted it, where he couldn't eat three meals a day and he hated himself for wasting money on someone who was long gone anyway, but there were other days where he thought there was nowhere else that his money should have gone. Mind had always deserved the best in his life, and since Heart didn't give that to him, he had deserved the best in death. Not even this was the best Heart could have given. He could have gone for one of the shiny and smooth ones that he'd always wanted for himself, but he'd saved a little money to use for essentials. What a great idea that had been. These days, Heart could hardly pick himself up to brush his teeth. He probably had cavities. If he would eventually become disgusting anyway, he should have bought the best tombstone the world had ever seen. 

Heart poked at the dirt. There was no body under it, of course. Soul had practically vaporized Mind. It was the worst thing Heart had ever seen. But at least he didn't need to see his lover truly dead, he figured. He would have plucked his own eyes out if he saw that. It was bad enough that Heart had ever seen him bleeding and drowning in azure and trying to choke out some hate. That sight haunted Heart even today. To see those eyes blank and glossy, to see that body twitch to stillness, to see death would kill him. 

There was no use in saying anything. Mind couldn't hear him, and he'd just sound crazy to anyone who happened to pass. So instead he thought, I'm sorry Mind. I really am. I'm sorry I let you go. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry we didn't get out like we'd said we would. I'm sorry you're gone. I'm sorry that I'm gone too. Would you be ashamed of me if you were here? Ashamed of me for being but a corpse now? I hope not. I'm sorry, Mind, that my love wasn't strong enough to save us. I'm sorry. 

He sobbed again. He couldn't help it. The feeling in his chest was similar to that he'd had in Apathy. A depressed hollow that he was sure could never fill. The ache was the same, that of loss and regret and guilt. Maybe he could make up for this somehow. Maybe. But first, the building.