Koah

i will be making oc’s because i’m bored and i need to create

yes i love sk8, yes i’ve dreamt about it twice this week, yes langa is my wallpaper, yes im rewatching it

you can tell i ramble on here a lot more when im upset and trying not to cry. like whyyyy wasn’t i born a man. whyyyy do i have dreams about being a man. whyyyy did i have to be born in a female’s body. whyyyy is my mind like this.

i don’t know when the shift from ‘this guy is so hot, i need to be with him’ turned into ‘this guy is so hot, i need to be him’, but it happened and now im here.

getting jealous of every single fictional guy i see. i envy them so bad, especially if they’re in a friend group and are extroverted and outgoing. like hello you’re living my dream. i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to go out and make friends. i don’t think im good enough to have any friends, and not in a self pity way but in a realistic way. i’m not introverted i just have the worst social anxiety in the world. i hate being seen, knowing that im a girl. i was meant to be a boy. i will continue to watch shows with extroverted guys with friends as the main characters just so i can live through them.

for me it’s so clear how much langa and reki love each other whether it be as best friends or more. i see people saying in comment sections like ‘they should’ve kissed’ or they’re upset they didn’t officially get together but i think because they didn’t show that, that their relationship isn’t reduced to being a romantic partner relationship but a very deep one where it doesn’t even have a word to describe it. i think it’s very implied that they like each other especially langa. i also see people complaining about when langa said ‘reki, my love…for skateboarding is because of you’. but i think it’s really important he said that because reki taught him how to love something again after his dad passed away and that can be seen as loving reki more than it just being a typical ‘these best friends like each other for whatever reason’. the reason why langa loves reki so much is because he taught him happiness and friendship again. langa enjoys skateboarding but doesn’t enjoy it and love it as much without reki there to share it with. they show their love for each other through the hobby they share. maybe i think too much about it but

sk8 is now my new personality uh huh

i lobe making a new playlist like yes this is my vibe for the next however many days

wait everything is great right now

i want to live all by myself but i’m too scared to move out

can someone convince me to watch a good show im too lazy to put one on and pick one out

hmmm why does everything…mmm literally…suck 😂😂