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if anyone has any advice on how to get through this pain quicker other than just waiting it out and being patient please let me know. because usually i just wait for the next guy to come along and make me forget about the last but i don't want anyone else i can't have anyone else this is the realest love i've ever felt and i just want to erase it from my memory

now I'm just terrified of getting help. i'm so used to refusing it or not opening up enough that the help never works.. i know its going to take time and i need to take baby steps but i'm scared that no one will actually be able to help me because i'm so fucking damaged

This is nothing to do with him, I can't emphasise that enough. Its me. I'm not ready to be involved with any guy. I'm not ready for any kind of relationship, I really need to work on making myself better and get the help I need. He tried his best and I could never thank him enough, I just wanted so much more from him. Our relationship wasn't healthy and with him being 25 and about to leave to go travelling, he really didn't need a girl like me to hold him back. I hope he finds what he is looking for

he was the only guy that has ever shown love to me and i could feel the love and even through all the shit i put him through he stuck around and didn't give up on me. i wish i wish i wish i wasnt so mentally fucked because everything would be ok i wouldnt be having to end things between us and i wouldnt be feeling this amount of pain right now.

i've been cheated on 3 times in the past by guys i believed i was in love with and that fucking hurt but NOTHING like what i'm feeling right now and its because i know this guy did love and care for me but it wasnt on the same level that i loved and cared for him and to walk away from someone you know did have a lot of love for you is so fucking hard. my heart is aching and i can feel the pain. i havent slept, I don't want to eat, I don't want to do anything. i feel so empty.

Btw I think this tumblr might get deleted soon.. I can't access my notifications, messages or look at my own profile so idk whats going on.. All I can do is post

i've had to walk away from the one guy i've only ever truly loved and cared about and i have never experienced heart break like this before. i don't know how long it will take me to heal and for me to get over him but i know i have to be patient as it will be extremely hard.

i really need some love right now im hurting really bad and im scared and alone please help me

i hate when men raise their voice thats probably the scariest thing to me, I remember in school the male teachers would shout to get everyones attention and I would cry and run outside and everyone would be like wtf is wrong with her but it fucking triggers me please don't shout at me I'm sorry

me: .. you're spending time with ur friends?? ur family?? ..how... how could u do this to me? WHAT ABOUT ME??? SPEND ALL UR TIME WITH ME ME ME MEEE also me: honestly don't worry about me your family and friends are far more important i'll be ok

i hate loud noises. i cry if someone bangs a cupboard too hard or drops something and it smashes

i am the hardest person to love

the sun is out today . :)

I need to come off tumblr again for a while. Bye

don't let me kill myself