I think I need to say this out loud, even if Iām like⦠100+ days late.
Before the Stranger Things finale, before everything blew up, before the chaosāthere was Byler. And I was there. Not casually. Not āoh I like this shipā and move on. No. I was deep in it. Iām talking 12 to 18 years old, every single day, all day. Tumblr wasnāt just an app, it was basically my second brain. I woke up and checked it. I went to school and still checked it. If I mentioned Byler to someone, I already had a tab open to prove my point.
It wasnāt just a phase, it was a whole era of my life.
And then the ending happened.
People processed it immediately. First week, first month, even nowāeveryone has something to say. Some are still angry, some moved on, some turned it into jokes. And me?
I just⦠didnāt come back.
I didnāt make a dramatic exit. I didnāt post a goodbye. I just stopped opening Tumblr. Not completelyāIāve posted maybe two or three things, reblogged something here and there. But every time I get a notification, I feel this weird⦠block. Like my brain goes ānope, not today.ā
The funny thing is, I canāt even uninstall the app.
Because somehow it feels like Iād be deleting something way too personal. Like Iād be erasing a version of myself that lived and breathed Byler for years. And yeah, I know how that sounds. But if youāve ever loved something this intensely, you get it.
Iāve had friends who cried. Readers from my Wattpad who told me they were genuinely heartbroken, but still found comfort in the things I wrote. And then thereās me, just⦠here. Not crying, not ranting, not moving on either.
I donāt know if itās denial or shock or just my brain protecting itself.
All I know is: Iām still not ready.
And the reason Iām even posting this is because I just got another Tumblr notification and it hit me all over again.
So if you see this, if you interact with it, if you reblogā
I probably wonāt.
Iām disappearing again. Maybe for another three months. Maybe more.
Not because I donāt care.
But because I cared too much.









