a guy who really likes the flight

“Yellow?”

“Not—not like sunflowers.”

“Okay?”

“Kind of like, you know, you know the soft glow of the moon?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Kind of like that.”

-----------------------------

TW: minor implications of sh

"When I look at the moon, something in me shatters.

The jagged edges of that twisted, wretched thing claw and tear, wailing for her.

When I see the skyblue of an orchid, or the green of a valley, or any shade of hazel that looks like her eyes—

I can’t leave the academy without hurting anymore.

So I stay in this room, and my mind is no longer my own. I am only an echo, nearly faded into naught. I dangle above an abyss of my own wreckage, and where the black seeps in, it hurts.

I have no right to, but still my mind wanders back to that field. It follows her as she flees, hidden from that damn moon by dense leaves and dangerous memories.

I wonder if she is okay.

I know she is not,

and I know that of all things,

my making is the curse.

Not decay, not death.

It is me, it is something too far below the surface to find and heave onto shore.

The ringing returns, and I curl into a ball on an empty bed if only to squeeze my body into submission. If only to smother the ache.

Chipped nails dig into paled skin, and I pretend the sting is enough, despite how I draw no crimson.

Pretend that maybe, maybe—

if I hurt, she will know, and she will come back.

If I sit in my filth, in my regret and in my insanity, she will see me and forgive me.

I will take her pity over her absence. I will take her rage over her ghost.

I would accept ruin if that meant I could take it back."

-----------------------------

the first is a direct quote of a driftsey conversation on DriftyTwo, "Good days [Day 21]", ~42:20.

i know that very much of this is unhealthy. and, yes, that's why it fits.

in part this was directly inspired by canon events, but also by a @yourrenerd edit of driftsey with "Orbiter" by Noah Kahan in the background. reach out if you'd like the name of the edit, otherwise i suggest just scrolling their content yourself lol.

also kudos to a little shortfic that jogged my memory of the concept

pretty much, guys, if you're reading this i HOPE you're also consuming the top-tier driftsey media out there lmao

Orbiter is a very good song for driftsey. i recommend listening to that as well.

i would make another version of this from drift's pov, but i don't understand the way her brain works like i do aj's because i'm an aimsey main. i really just want a compilation of detrimental drift conflicts/monologues, but i ought to watch her pov if only to support an awesome creator

so maybe i will? and maybe it's best to be left up to interpretation. besides, cooked this up the night before the return. i can only hope that i don't feel the need to write about this last stream's events ever again!

-----------------------------

I'm an astronaut,

You're the moon—

I stare at you,

I sing for you,

I circle you—