HEY LINDA DID SOMEONE SAY PANTY LINERS?!? I LOVE YOGURT! WANNA GO OUT FOR SALADS?!?
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HEY LINDA DID SOMEONE SAY PANTY LINERS?!? I LOVE YOGURT! WANNA GO OUT FOR SALADS?!?

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Clearly I'm in hell's grocery store.
Cartomancy Against Humanity
thesassisnecessary succeeds in being a cool person. So, as promised, it’s time for Cartomancy Against Humanity!
Starting right this second and ending at noon Pacific Standard Time on August 11th, I will offering one card readings using a random melange of aryablindgirl‘s really rad Cards Against Humanity base set. All requests, anonymous or otherwise, will be honored. Feel free to make multiple requests.
It’s divination for horrible people!
I post readings ten at a time, to avoid dashboard clutter. Everything will be tagged Cartomancy Against Humanity for your following/blacklisting needs.
IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY
I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E
I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y
ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june
get spooky
Apologies and Promises
Did you know I’m the type of asshole who offers free tarot readings and then immediately drops off the face of tumblr for a few weeks?
( thesassisnecessary and obedienttroublemaker are all like “Yeah, we knew that.” Or, just as likely “Oh yeah, I asked for a tarot reading a while back.” )
Anyways, sorry for being an asshole. I promise I have a much bigger something for the two of you coming your way soon. As in tomorrow. (I pinky swear.)
I am also very very close to 100 followers. Once I get there, I will be opening up Cartomancy Against Humanity for a week. Yes, a week. Because I love all of you and I feel tremendously guilty for being an asshole.
Really, guys, I am totally sorry.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ArcaneMysteries Divination Extravaganza Giveaway!!!
Rules
There will only be one (1) Grand Prize Winner.
Must be following arcanemysteries http://arcanemysteries.tumblr.com/ (sideblogs may enter, but must be willing to provide their main blog URL upon winning for follower verification)
Reblogs count as entries.
Likes do not count as entries.
Open World Wide. INTERNATIONAL IS A GO!
Must be 18 years of age or older.
No giveaway blogs.
DO NOT TAG AS GIVEAWAY, CONTEST, ETC.
Do not remove the rules.
You must be comfortable sharing your email and physical address to send this extravaganza out to you.
Winner will be chosen at random on August 16th 2015 and will have 24 hours to respond or new winner will be chosen.
This giveaway is not associated with Tumblr or Amazon.
What’s included
(1) The Easiest Way To Learn Tarot Ever Book by Dusty White
(1) 365 Tarot Spreads Book by Sasha Graham
(1) Classic Tarot Spreads Book by Sandor Konraad
(1) Tarot Spreads Book by Barbara Moore
(1) Black Reading Cloth
(1) Package of 50 Misc Incense Sticks
(1) Star, Moon, and Sun Necklace
(1) Blank Rune Necklace
(1) Package of 40 Dragons Blood Incense Cones
(1) Rose Quartz Crystal
(1) Clear Quartz Crystal
(1) Amethyst Pendulum
(1) Package of Celestial Charms
(1) Black Incense Burner
(1) 2 Pack of star tea light/candle holders
(1) Konxari Cards Deck
(1) Kuan Yin Oracle Deck
(1) Fairy Tale Fortune Cards Deck
(1) Goddess and Sirens Deck
(1) Gods and Titans Deck
(1) The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck
(1) 2 Pack of Playing Cards
(1) Package of Fortune Tellers
(1) Package of Dice
(1) Blank Hard Cover Journal
(1) Loteria Cards Set
(1) The Classic Tarot Kit
(1) Lenormand Fortune Telling Kit
(1) Tarot To Go Kit
(1) Runes Kit
(1) The Answers Deck Kit
(1) Custom Reading from ArcaneMysteries Storenvy
(1) $25.00 Amazon Online Gift Card
Hand Written Letter (Not Shown)
OPTIONAL: Custom Logo Design and Header Image for your Tumblr and online shop.
The world has only as much power over you as you give it. Rebel. Go beyond duality.“
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj (via stardust-seedling)
When doing a reading for someone else: The cards are not here to give us a 'yes' or a 'no', but simply to point us towards a certain path, offer us a new way to perceive the problem, or make us think deeper.
When doing a personal reading: GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER, GODDAMMIT
Let me share with you a lesson my father taught me: curses don’t have to be so exhausting.
Look I’m not a huge advocate of them in the first place, and I think that casualcurses has a lot of good ideas about it. More complicated things, or more harmful things are just unnecessary and cruel and often in a dark gray moral area for me. But little curses add up, and they’re effective, and they can really ruin someone’s day without draining you. Not just that, but you don’t even have to be the one to maintain the curse of provide the bulk of the energy. You can make them do it.
Take, for example, this one time I was at a concert. This girl was going off about poser witches while we were on line. She was wearing all black and a zillion necklaces with bones on them, and was trying to be really, really overt about her practice. Which is fine, but not really my jam. In the middle of her ranting my friend must have rolled her eyes, or maybe this girl was looking for a fight, but she went off on us about how we wouldn’t know the first thing about witchcraft. And my friend, being one of my friends and therefore physically incapable of keeping her mouth shut, snapped at her something to the effect of “and you’re a fucking bigot and not half the witch my friend here is”, which of course led to her trying to goad me into a pissing contest. Which wouldn’t have worked, because I didn’t really care, until she threatened to curse me with a pet death. I mean, shit. That’s a fucking fight. But ultimately I thought she was more fluff than substance and not really worth much, so I did what my father and his mother taught me to do: I made her curse herself. I stood very, very still, and raised my chin slightly and smirked at her as she turned away, and I said softly, but in a voice that would carry “so be it”. It was shitty, cheap theatrics, but I caught her attention just as she was walking away, and she tripped over her own feet and fell hard. I was lucky, she even drew blood on the pavement. And when she looked up, there I was, smiling at her.
Cut to two weeks later and she had tracked me down via facebook and photos from the concert and she begged me to take the curse off her. I hadn’t done shit, but every bad thing that had happened to her, she blamed me for. She had cursed herself, and her belief in me fueled that. I didn’t have to waste any energy on her at all. And lifting the curse took no energy either. I messaged her back that it would be gone by the next new moon, and sure enough, her belief that it would be lifted lifted it.
Its a bit shitty and cheap, but if you master it, its an excellent way to curse someone without having to exhaust yourself. Shit, it works just fine for Wiccans too, because you didn’t curse anyone, you just let it happen to them, and there’s no spiritual duty to rescue in that oath of yours. So that’s today’s lesson, children. Curse when appropriate, but remember that sometimes, vengeance is a dish best served in a fast food bag, quick and prepared entirely by someone else for your own enjoyment.
Whoa. I do love some casual cursing.

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Casually turns all my friends into tarot junkies
It is almost TIME. You have no idea how excited I will be when I can just go to Target and bulk up on black candles and anything fall scented, flavored and colored.
ArcaneMysteries (via arcanemysteries)
Nick Bradshaw
the signs as feelings
Aries: A sundress with nothing underneath; lying on a trampoline at nighttime; being dragged into an adventure; the way your stomach feels like it's falling faster than the rest of you; a brand new backpack; a balcony view.
Taurus: Someone you love tying your shoes for you; when someone points out something about you that nobody has ever noticed before; the perfect shade of lipstick; snorkeling in shallow water, following the fishes; a high school party.
Gemini: When everybody laughs with you; seeing a "sign"; a handful of smooth rocks from the bottom of a river; holding hands in a platonic way; feeling awestruck and terrified by the idea of a world beyond this one; cutting fresh fruit.
Cancer: A light sunburn; the comforting voice of your mother; a black-sand beach; a weeping willow tree; bare feet in Bermuda grass; tiny fish nibbling on your toes; fireworks on the fourth of July.
Leo: Intense, secret eye contact; "accidental" touches; a long-awaited reunion; the sleek, shiny atmosphere of a fashion show; exceeded expectations; the sunset after the storm; the perfect candid picture.
Virgo: A hotel room with a skyline view; a shy, solemn first touch; shopping for new school supplies; the soles of your feet in warm sand; the way it feels to wear bright colors; the "new book" smell.
Libra: An airplane ride; a shooting star; painting stray objects with nail polish; the moment the lights go down before a concert begins; the way your confidence grows when you read; being together.
Scorpio: Walking on an empty golf course at night; when your feet touch the colder water in the deep parts of a lake; squinting at the moon until you can make out its craters; being swept off of your feet during a hug.
Sagittarius: The electric atmosphere of a dark movie theatre; packing a suitcase; shaking out a pillowcase or a new garbage bag, feeling it fill with air; driving on an empty highway at nighttime, windows down.
Capricorn: Yawning in the shower; a brand new, leather-bound journal; the mystic, blue light of an aquarium; a package on your doorstep; spending time alone by choice; receiving a reward that you know you've earned.
Aquarius: Stealing alcohol from your parents; sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to take a walk; talking about ghosts; the smell of makeup wipes; unrequited adoration; the sound of Stevie Nicks' voice.
Pisces: A hug when you really need one; warm rain in the summertime; espadrille sandals; an accidental nap; crowd-surfing; the first time wearing a brand new pair of shoes, anticipating the compliments.
Starfire #5 Cover Art by Amanda Connerhttp://daily-superheroes.tumblr.com/

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anna Valdez, on Tumblr
honeyangelbaby
Next Wave by Stuart Immonen
I reeeeaally wanna read this comic but i cant find it cheap anywhere 😞
Have you tried to buy it digitally?
I believe they are reprinting the book later this year.
Marvel Unlimited: the best deal in comics.
Duh. As often as I pimp the service, I should have thought of that.