that hyper independent shit is overrated :/

but, if i get this ugly and violent it won’t happen again :(

like even behind closed doors i can express this rage let it run its course in a non self destructive manner well aware i am more then justified to be outraged

only to feel defeated and broken every time like i’m the one who did something wrong.

then you ARE worthy of redemption and second chances

U did the absolute best with what you had🫂❤️‍🩹

its not just about “moving on or letting go”🙃

no because being vulnerable is necessary but risky and simultaneously complex, easier said than done!

like everyone @ work is supportive means well but i don’t wanna scare or overwhelm anyone or have myself come off as desperate and or codependent

i been thugging it out😭enough to get asked regularly “are you okay” i never expect any certain response if i did lean on a shoulder to cry on is just terrifying because i have been punished for expressing myself and show parts of myself that aren’t strong.

right my fear and doubt is based in ridicule and malice intent while i’m in a frail state vs i’m pure everyone is out to get me!😭💔