bRUINS???!!!

hey guys it’s Chantal here. as i type this, i’m listening to “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts and getting extremely nostalgic and emotional. I just wanted to let everyone know i’m going to be logging out of my tumblr and i don’t know the password. i’m also not going to look for it in my settings. i’ve been amping up hospital volunteering, writing and publishing research, been applying to medical schools and taking MCATS, and finding myself watching the occasional hockey game because i’ve seemed to completely lose myself through this process of fulfilling my dream of becoming a doctor. i’m truly struggling with how fast life is going by, and i’m putting aside things like tumblr so that they can only be memories. i’ve found myself dwelling in my archive, longing for the high school days where i spent every waking hour on this blog. while i did that, i was in the same bedroom i slept in since i was a little girl, and i always had my family downstairs or in the rooms beside me. maybe this is my mid-life crisis, although i feel i’m much too young to be having one right now lol. i’m completely restarting my life for this final push to become a doctor, because the chances of me moving away from Los Angeles are great, assuming the only medical school i get into is out of state. i’ll be insanely lucky if i even get into any. my life is changing rapidly and i need to keep up with it. I need some sense of closure, so that’s why i’m logging out. It’s a sense where it’s all finally behind me. i have made incredible friends on this site, made insane posts, and have been insanely corrupted by the memes posted on here. i wouldn’t trade it for a thing. this website and the friends i made through it, and even the random people entering my mailbox when i was having a tough time- you all helped me get through some of my darkest times without even knowing it. i appreciate this site so much, and i will legitimately ALWAYS remember being a part of this incredible tumblr hockey fandom. i can only hope i’ve left as much of an impact on all of you as you have on me. maybe i’ll find my password in the deep depths of my computer one day, or an old sticky note that had my login info written on it.

but really, from the absolute BOTTOM of my heart, i love the people in this fandom. you all, quite frankly, gave me the sense of humor i have now and definitely made me who i am. and i’m so very thankful for that.

special shoutout to @darren-helm for being my #1 since 2009. you’re the best.

my heart feels so heavy right now, because i’m putting away something that became a part of my identity. tumblr was my life, and anyone who knew this blog while it was at its peak knows that. i will ALWAYS be patbergy, reillysmithss, and snuggiehamilton. thank you everyone who supported this blog for YEARS, and for making me think i’m funny.