Its just me and my corn starch slurry against the world

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@boston-strong-forever
Its just me and my corn starch slurry against the world

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it’s ok you unfollowed , i understand that me, having a penis this large, is intimidating. i understand that u feel inferior to me because i have a massive penis. i wish u peace , love, and hope in the new year ❤️
religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women
I hate Joe Exotic but this exchange reset my brain
me when I’m baffled by the inefficiency and callousness of everything and then I remember it’s all corrupt girl

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samisa living together rapidly devolving into a domestic marriage. sam thinks it’s so funny at first, yet another bit to run because someone makes an off handed comment about them being like an old married couple and now they live together. sam gets to throw around ah, sorry, got to check with the misses! and obnoxiously call misa honey, and says husband duties, am i right? to toff when he brings up fixing a leak in their shower. it gets a good laugh, even from misa who’s normally nearby and smiling.
and despite everyone’s distrust of them to keep their apartment in order, everything’s pretty nice. misa has a joint calendar hung on the fridge, and they have multiple forks now, so they’re killing the whole living together thing. honey has slipped into sam’s vernacular more than he would like to admit, he’s got other stuff he worries about so he can’t quite keep every bit and joke neatly into their own boxes. sometimes misa is mike, or mikey, dude and bro, and sometimes he’s honey or babe. it’s a non issue, misa responds to anything anyways. sam once threw out puppy just to be annoying and misa tilted his head up all the same.
they’re both sort of messy but not in any drastic way, hotel rooms versus spaces they actually live in are different. hoodies over the back of the couch, some plates left on the table, shoes that live more in the middle of walkways than anywhere else. their laundry is all mixed up at this point too. misa’s more of a shirt on but boxers only sleeper and sam’s more of a no shirt, basketball shorts sleeper. all it means is that sam sometimes turns around from making coffee to find misa stumbling into the kitchen with undeniably his shirt on, london knights three which really doesn’t give any wiggle room for misa to have thought it might have been his at all. it doesn’t matter though because misa will just lay his head on the counter and complain that the coffee smells bad. and that night he’ll pop up for an episode of bad sitcoms in sam’s sharks hoodie, number six over the heart, and sam will just have to be okay with it.
misa’s a pretty good roommate anyways, he sticks to three things he can actually cook so he doesn’t accidentally burn down the kitchen. sam likes having someone around anyways, it was half the reason he was always over at the toffolis last season. misa’s always in the apartment now too, leaves with sam and comes back with sam, and only has an outing or two a month without him. sam sort of figured something like that would be annoying but he really, really likes it, likes having someone to come back home to who’s in always in one of his reliable three spots: corner of the couch, at his desk, curled up on sam’s bed. sam’s not really sure when it became his bed misa was more commonly found in but it is. sam will come back from lunch with musty and walk into his own room to find misa in sam’s hoodie, playing clash in sam’s bed.
life is just like that now. sam yells honey, i’m home! and misa yells back sup, dude from under his covers. they get back from a game and misa trails in after him to take the side against the wall. misa’s got his sleep issues and it seems like crashing with sam mellows them out a bit so who’s sam to tell him off? he just flicks off the light at a certain point and lays there until he convinces himself that wrapping an arm around misa’s midsection and pulling him flush against his chest is fair game and acceptable bro behavior. the half asleep conversations where misa asks about plans for the next day, and talks the smallest bit of play strategy, do feel very similar to what sam imagines midnight conversations with someone he’s actually married to would be like. when sam wakes up in the morning he still smacks a kiss onto misa’s cheek because that’s part of the married couple bit, even if misa never reacts with a recoil and yuck! which would complete the joke.
you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too
Languages tend to peak at their word for butterfly. Never seen 2 that are the same, either. Papillon. Mariposa. Borboleta. Fluture. Vlinder. Schmetterling. Pillangó. Babochka. Farfalla. Sommerfugl. Perhonen. Farasha. Titali. Chōchō. Nabi. Húdié. Buom buom. Great job guys, i really mean it.
Oh my good god

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Like genuinely the fact that so many women athletes performing at high levels and advancing the sport at insane rates have to spiritually go into the office the next day for whatever their day job is is insane. I struggle with the forty hour work week and they’re just also the top .01% in their athletic field on top of it
The first RBIs in WPBL history belong to Maggie Foxx as she lines one to left to bring in Mo'ne Davis and Ashton Lansdell.
bucky has a disability??
he doesn’t have an arm.
happy almost ten years to my all-time favorite disability post on this braincell forsaken website
trevor zegras at shoulder check
(1, 2 + 3, 4)
btw if two guys are both wearing backwards hats it means they were just making out

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being a fan of a male athlete is a perpetual stress test cause you like to think to yourself “nah he’s not that stupid, he wouldn’t do that” and then he goes on to prove that he IS that stupid and he’ll somehow manage to do even worse
The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is
Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?
Oh my god....