Forever Sleepy

cats domesticated us by developing a cry that mimics a human baby and being approximately the size of a human baby, thus playing on our natural instincts to nurture them. also boosted their odds by being carriers of toxoplasmosis, which may effect human behavior positively in their favor. like, dogs showed up and said “feed us and we’ll help you” but cats said “I’m taking shortcuts”

I am such a cat person but sometimes I pick my cat up and say “you’re manipulating my paternal instincts with your demanding meows, your weirdly anthropomorphic flat face and your perfect baby size of 9 pounds. and I’m on to you.” just so she’s aware

Some Pokemon fans really need a sense of humor. I'm sorry but after years of people wanting dunsparce to get an epic evolution only for it to evolve into a slightly longer version of itself and its called fucking dundunsparce is the funniest shit ever and y'all won't admit it

Let Bernard Say Fuck

update: he said fuck

go grandpa!

Please retire the "we are made of stardust" phrase I am so tired of it

Stars are made of flesh

I change my mind bring back the original phrase