i keep digging myself down deeper

in a masked crowd you would think that you’d go unnoticed by certain individuals. avoidance : that’s one her specialties . to avoid creating more problems for others , despite the opposite occurring. she knew that was true for the one who stood a good ten feet from her and yet she’d recognize him anywhere. a shallow breath passed her crimson lips ; a feeble attempt to settle nerves. nothing could ever really swallow down the fear of AKITO being behind this. it would be the perfect dose of karmic energy that she deserved. but it was causing damage to the people around her . they are paying a price that isn’t their own. she couldn’t find joel anywhere , maybe he’s with chloe ? the thought was enough to convince her that it might be true. “ jon. “ she spoke in greeting , the undertone of her voice laced with caution as she went against her first instinct. to run away from him. 

his name fluttered off her lips and jon was half surprised she hadn’t run away at her first look of him. wouldn’t that have been better than this? “rin.” he managed to get her name out, but his eyes pulled away from her. jon was still quite bothered by their break up, how quickly she had fled from him with no answers or willingness to save something he hadn’t realized was in danger of falling apart. “didn’t think i’d see you here.”

Cherri waited on the steps of the manor, the faded grey building looming above him. They had certainly got the ambiance right, the terror associated with Halloween. Truth be told, he hadn’t expected them to go this far. A few cheery pumpkins, some gaudy themed food. Not a full party that looked like it was more of a masquerade ball.

He saw a familiar form grow in the distance, a half-smile gracing his face. It was nice to have friends again, ones he didn’t have to parent or look after. As Jon came into full view, Cherri fully stood, walking the last few steps to greet him.

“Not sure I’m ready for this many people,” he spoke, taking in the other’s costume. He unsurprisingly didn’t recognize the black robes, nor the fake weapon. “… Your sword glows.” Was what he said, brows furrowing. Never had seen something like that before.

he also planned to go with cherri, one of his closest buddies. jon made his way to his destination, walking in big strides as he came upon the staircase. he smiled, noticing cherri there waiting for him and then his eyes peered around to take in the scenery. “aye, i am right there with you.” he agreed, turning his attention back to his friend. 

“oh, this thing?” he grinned, putting the saber into both his hands. “it’s a lightsaber. you ever seen star wars before?” jon asked, swinging the prop around. he had a real sword back at home, one that stayed in it’s sheath. he’d hold it in his hands and wonder why it felt so familiar. as far as he knew, he’d never used a sword before ( in another life, he’d use it many times. striking fierce, with justice, and sometimes with  t r a g e d y  . )

              the godswood of winterfell is the only place on the island where robb can feel a sliver of peace.  he’s vigil and on edge most of his days, and his recurring dreams did nothing to quell his growing restlessness.  it’s often that he finds himself seeking solace in the place his father had done the same not very long ago.  yet as he stands beneath the weirwood’s red leaves now, there’s an aching feeling growing in his chest that he can no longer ignore.  it seemed that even in a place as sacred as the godswood, there was something undeniably wrong.  when he gazes into the heart tree, their eyes are nothing if not hollow, and he certainly doesn’t feel the weight of the gods’ gaze when he prays.  regardless, robb prays.  he  prays  that his dreams are nothing more than dreams and that his qualms are nothing but misguided.  he’d be naive to think they’d be answered, but there isn’t much else left for him to do.  he hates this feeling of helplessness he feels on the island, because he knows he doesn’t belong here and yet the world seemed intent on convincing him otherwise.  

               his prayers cease when he hears footsteps approaching from behind though finds himself unperturbed by the interruption.  if the gods are real, then they’re not listening anyway.    “  it’s said that it’s impossible to lie in the presence of a godswood, and yet, even here it feels as if i’m fooling myself,  ”    he muses aloud as eyes train on the face carved into the wood.  (  nothing, nothing about this feels genuine  )  .  robb sighs and shakes his head before turning to leave.    “  forgive me.  i shouldn’t burden you with my troubles.  ”    when he finally locks eyes with the other, he’s frozen in place as a wave of familiarity overcomes him.  it couldn’t be.    “  jon — ?  ”    robb utters aloud so suddenly and so instinctively it scares him.

he had known of the godswood, his mother had frequented there at times and on this day -- he felt something calling to him. for a brief moment he thought it may be his mother’s spirit, but he shook his head and continued to let his feet carry him to his destination. he had never been one to bow his head, hold his hands together and praise the gods. yet, he felt as if he had to go to the godswoods this instant. that there was something pushing him forward, urging him on and beckoning him to the great tree that he’d only seen a few times. (  at least in this lifetime, for he’d seen it a great number of times in another.  )

finally arriving, he comes to a halt as he notices a figure in front of the great tree. a man, one that at first, he doesn’t think is actually there. a ghost ? but then they speak, and he is frozen once again. a voice so familiar, a visage so familiar and he feels that ache in his chest again, empty and wishing for something and he can’t put his finger on it. “my mother use to pray here.” he says, eyes sliding past the man to the tree where his mother had whispered all her prayers in hopes of answers. “i don’t think she received any answers.” and he had a feeling, that neither would he. standing here with a familiar and yet unfamiliar man and that hollowness in his chest. 

the man turns around and jon is forced to look upon his face. one that he’s sure he’s dreamed about. has heard echos of something along the lines of  k i n g  of  the  n o r t h.  nightmares that would plague him most of his life -- a man with a wolf’s head sewn where his human head should be. and jon was screaming, and he’d wake in a cold sweat with only his confusion and the fading nightmares in his mind. this man before him, voices his name and jon instinctively takes a step forward. “aye. . . ? is this another dream ?” he questions, eyebrows furrowing and he’s looking around their environment as if he could figure out if this was to be another nightmare again. “do i . . .  know you ?”

as he reached for a piece of chocolate candy in a bowl, everyone in the room seemed to turn and swirl towards the staircase. jon watched them as they did, following a beat behind as he also gazed landed on the woman dressed as... ?? he didn’t know but it seemed familiar. almost like the girl in his dreams with the white hair, always with her back towards him. every time he had tried to reach out -- she disappeared and he was thrust into another dream. 

jon was even more surprised as she roamed the room and seemed to come to a halt near him. her voice carrying over to his ears, and as everyone started going back to their business -- his eyes still lingered on her. “don’t think you can be late to a party.” he shrugged his shoulders, pulling his eyes away from her and down to the chocolate bar in his hand. he began to open it, and asked -- “mind me askin’, who are you? or, err, who’re dressed up as?”

Feeling a solid body smash into his right shoulder, Bellamy’s side jerked. His brown hues rolled to the side before a thin grimace stretched across his lips. “ Watch where the hell you’re going”  The words departed from his mouth in a low and thick tone of voice, until noting it was a workmate of his. His face softened slightly. Bellamy dipped his head in a subtle nod at Jon, while he also continued to pack his gear. With Halloween approaching, it seemed everyone had gone a little wild and there certainly had been more accidents in the last week, in fact, some days he had to work overtime because of it.

He had a night shift today, which could be hell but Jon and Bellamy did get along well, so it wouldn’t be half as bad.  The two had been working with each other for some time now, and although they hadn’t spoken a lot with each other outside of work, Bellamy did respect the man’s work ethic.  Bellamy was kind of getting accustomed to people not paying attention to where the hell they were walking. They were different on this Earth, much more relaxed than what he was subconsciously used to. From his time, if you are not on high alert, that’s how you would get killed.

Even without memories, Bellamy still feels the weight of the world on his shoulders He had never been good at opening up with anyone other than his friends, but more specifically Clarke. They had become his family and now all of that was displaced, even if he didn’t entirely remember that being the case. At one point he had stopped believing they were the good guys, instead, every day Bellamy told himself he was a monster and his sister even encouraged that mindset for a long while until Santum. There, Clarke and Bellamy swore they would do better, so in a way being a firefighter was his subconscious way of doing better and helping others, outside of just his people. 

he managed to get to the station on time, with his dog right on his feet. both ghost and him found work at the fire station and haven’t left since. he made his way through the building, trying to reach his own locker and grab his gear. 

jon hadn’t meant to knock into anyone, having his attention drawn to the floor as his a variety of thoughts began to flood his mind. the ones about the dreams and even worse than that, rin. as his shoulder hit against bellamy’s his reverie was broken and his eyes fluttered up to the other man’s face. “sorry.” he told his co-worker, his tense expression softening just a little. his mind had been quite swept up, recently with everything. 

it was the night shift, one that jon pulled himself out of bed to drag his ass to work. he still sported bedhead, having not really ran a comb through his hair before heading in. "when will the kids learn.” he grumbled to the man, grabbing his pack. “it’s not that cool to play with fire.” with this festive season, it had seemed there were more stupid accidents. that’s what jon considered them, stupid accidents by stupid kids. 

one, two, three, four… one, two, three four.. the music seemed to keep xavier on his feet and.. as long as he was teaching, he was happy. it wasn’t acting, of course and… even if he hadn’t given up on anything just yet, he was taking a break. a much needed break, because.. no matter how much he tried to deny it, acting reminded him of blake and.. that was never a good thing because the memories that came next weren’t at all pleasant. redwood had taken enough from him and.. he wasn’t letting it happen again. aerobics was easier, aerobics was what he did best and… whenever he was here, teaching this or that class.. he could almost feel like himself. not to mention that .. aerobics was what she liked doing and… there was something that xavier had never admitted to anyone .

he had taken up aerobics in the first place to be close to her and he never thought he’d like it as much as he did now, but.. he did and.. as of now, it was the only thing he had left of home. he wasn’t going to let her take this way from him as well - the place where he had met chet and ray and had feel happy for the first time in his life.. she wasn’t going to take that away from him too. it was almost like chet and ray were about to walk through those doors again - telling him that he should really just stop being hung up on a lost love, but.. truth was.. he was never seeing them again. his friends were gone and.. at least, while he was here, he could forget that. he had good friends, though. 

coming upon the place xavier worked, he slipped inside and waited for the class to end. he had known the guy for, forever, it seemed and yet jon couldn’t help the snort that came out when he’d see the guy teaching the aerobics class. it definitely wasn’t something that was interesting to jon, but if it made his friend happy -- that was good enough. as the aerobics class came to an end, he moved towards xavier. 

“think you’d have to drag me by the hair to get me to register.” he jokes, his hands shoved into his pockets. “you have any free time, at all? maybe, we can get some coffee or something. i ain’t doin’ anything right now, so i thought i’d drop by.” then adds, “looks like your class is growing.” 

either way, he had been standing there for a little too long just peering from her to beyond her without saying a word.